Haven of Peace

We are so used to a certain kind of mathematics, that when some one comes with a solution which is quite out of the blue, then all our calculations are disturbed. We live in a world, where the senior citizens find very little place; the married children try to build their own families, and may not want their parents to have a role in it. The in-laws may stand against anything the well-intentioned parents might say, and ultimately in order to let peace prevail, the aged parents may be forced to remain in seclusion, away from their children and their grand children. This is the reality we are used.

But the modern generation has also found a way out of this problem, of handling unmanageable old people. Homes for the aged is an institution today by itself; those men and women who could afford may make arrangements with a Home to keep their parents away. Everything here is taken care of, and there will not be any more nagging or uninvited intrusion into the private and personal matters of the families. Even when the old men and women may not wish to go to homes, situations may force them to seek asylum there.

Think of old men and women who have been thrown out of their own homes, and have no where to go! Think of persons who have no strong social security systems, which may take care of them when they are old! Luckily we have a group of women, in fact they are all religious sisters, who look after the elderly, and care for them specially. The beauty of these sisters is that they do not admit into their homes anyone who has enough money to find a way. Their doors are open only to the senior citizens who are helpless, have no one to care for, and therefore there is no monthly fees.

In today's world, it would cost at least rupees five thousand a month to look after a senior person, including the daily medicine they may have to take. This however may not include payments for a separate person (aaya), to keep a watchful eye of them. But then how do these sisters manage to look after the old? Through begging! Every day some sisters are appointed (often by rotation) to go begging from house to house, in order to feed the elderly. In a world which condescends begging, these women are not shy of begging for the sake of the elderly. And what is more surprising, there are more people who offer monetary support to the sisters to look after the old men and women.

What do the Sisters, who are known as Little Sisters of the Poor, gain in return for their services to the elderly? Nothing. In fact, their services cannot be adequately compensated by any means, because even their own children may not look after the old as well as these committed sisters. Then why should they do this kind of works? It is their charism, to reach out to the helpless poor old men and women; if they don't look after the old, then what would happen to the hundreds of such men and women. Thank God for them, today many of the helpless men and women find shelter and peace of mind in these havens of peace!

Re-writing Destiny

A popular Tamil proverb says that marriages are determined in heaven, and often we come across cases of marriage which are strange and even hard to believe. And such is the marriage of this young man, with two legs thin as sticks (due to polio), and this beautiful young lady. It is a marriage between weakness and strength, weakness of the young man whose movement is highly restricted due to his legs, and strength of the lady, who gave up her family and all ties in order to stand by him, after a courtship of seven long years. But at the time of marriage, there were very few to bless them, save a Jesuit priest who stood by the couple and gave them all the much needed support, and a few other close friends. But there was something unusual in the marriage.

Maybe unusual is not the right word, a better word might be extra-ordinary. What made the 'black beauty' to stick to the young man, knowing well that her life too would be in a way restricted (imagine the restrictions to her freedom of movement); often in public gatherings it might become a bit embarassing to introduce a crippled as one's husband, however well educated he might be, and however loving he could be. To go out of the social conditionings and limitations, is in a true sense a heroic value. For the young man, this is the best he could get from life, and for the lady, this is the best she could ever offer to someone in life.

We cannot avoid the scorn of the family members and the neighbors, who might smell something out of the marriage, that the girl might be evil-intentioned, or the couple had a hidden agenda in getting married, despite the opposition by both the families! But nothing could stop them from being united in marriage, and the presence of just a handful of men and women to stand by them at the moment of their self-offering to each other was enough for them to put the right foot forward, as another Tamil proverb might have it. They have no regrets, no demands from anyone on earth. They do not mind starting life anew, from the scratch. There is a special joy in exploring life as it unfolds every moment, and every day.

But what could we say about the families of the couple, who initially oppposed the marriage, but later became indifferent. The girl's family could not believe that she would do such a stupid thing to marry a physically challenged person, and they might even thought that it was a shameful thing for her to do that, and they would have thought it better to keep themselves away from what she was doing; they could not accept her determination, it came as a big blow to them. But then what about the boy's family: instead of welcoming the lady to their household, they only keep her away from them, because there was a unseen factor dividing the families : caste, the most poisonous demon causing havoc in most of the families in the South.

There is no greater assurance in such difficult moments than divine providence, and hope in life as it takes charge of the new family that is formed in marriage. Life has the potentiality to transform hearts, and melt stones. It might take sometime for life to reveal magical moments, where reality would be so very different from what people thought it to be. Where hearts reach out to the core of their inner selves, there no caste, no family feuds, economical factors, or even physical beauty can stand. Truly from this day, the young man has better sticks to lean on - his wife, and with her by his side, he can face any stromy night, scorching sun and torrential rain!