Sunday, November 23, 2008

God who Seeks Me

When the middle aged lady came to see me for a while, when I was directing a half day recollection for a group of Catholics, I could not think she would have a problem in her "spiritual life", as we religious men and women are used to. But her problem was quite peculiar, and for a moment I could not think that she was indeed going through a problem.

She said that she used to spend a lot of time in prayer and reading of the Bible some years ago, when she was still staying with her parents and husband in a rented house. God had not given her an offspring, but she does not complain about it. She was happy to help people who confided with her and asked for her prayerful support then. But nowadays she does not get people who ask for her prayers or advice.

Have I gone away from God? These days I don't get enough time to spend with God alone in prayer, nor do I get time to read the Bible. I do feel uneasy that I am not able to give quality time for God... she told me.

I thought for a moment... is she moving herself from God's presence? I thought the otherwise. Maybe it is possible that she is closer to God now than before, when she has to look after her aging parents, help in the household chores, besides helping those who are busy with the construction. It is more challenging now than before, and is it possible for her to be in comm-union with God?

The very fact that she is aware of "missing" God is a good starting point. This awareness will bring God to her, instead of she going in search of God. She may encounter God in helping her parents or the construction workers, or in her work in the office. I do think it is true that if we put one step forward to seek God, He/She puts two steps to come close to us.

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