There is strife and conflict all around, and at times one is afraid of venturing into public places for fear of any assault, not by aliens or enemies, but by those familiar men and women we thought were far too innocent to indulge in such ghastly acts of violence. Everyone on earth has a claim, and for every claim there is a counter-claim and it is a never ending vicious circle, which has no end. Caught between these claims and counter-claims are innocent men and women who are unaware of what is happening behind their backyards. We are too frightened to look through the windows, which we have to shut them and pull the curtains over. We create a world of our own and insulate ourselves from the outside world, because we feel safe and secure within the four walls.
Innocent though we are, we too have our claims – in whatever walk of life. As a parent I have certain claims over my children, as a neighbor I have claims over friends and neighbors and the wider society, the government and I have claims even from God. Similarly everyone I come in contact with has a counter claim over me. I should be lucky if my claims and my neighbors counter-claims match; woe to me and to the people I live with if my claims don’t match with their counter claims. In such a situation, it is quite normal and natural that I assert my own claim, irrespective of others’ counter claims. In arguments, two or more people talk simultaneously, and there is none to listen.
Emotionally charged words find the most loaded expression in such encounters.
If there are so much of problems in relationships, conflicts and strife among family members and friends, the main reason is not that each one is not genuine. We all of us are sincere people. Even the worst of culprits and hooligans are sincere about their intentions and motivations, and we need to appreciate it. But their intentions (call them claims) may not match with our notions and ideas (call them our counter-claims); the situation may become volatile, because there is no objective criteria to say that a claim is better than another. But there is an easy solution to this claim-counter claim riddle, and most often we may not even think that it is possible!
When we are emotionally charged, the doors of our hearts and minds get closed automatically, and then there is no way that the views and ideas of the other person can ever enter into our hearts. The words hit on the doors of the hearts and minds and bounce back. That is why there is greater noise when two emotionally charged persons argue. It is within our control to reverse the process and we will find that there is no major conflict between our claims, and our throats may be saved from yelling, so that we may sing some sweet melodies for our loved ones, our energy may be saved for more productive works, and our time may be utilized for growth oriented events in life. The magic mantra here is, Listen! Listen to my heart and mind (what comes from within), and listen to the other (what comes from without).
As a preparation for the graceful moments of listening, today I sit in a quiet place, where I can be sure that no one will disturb me for the next five to ten minutes, and close my eyes. As I close my eyes, I am able to hear a thousand voices deep within me, not the external sound and ambience, but the inner voices. It is possible that I am able to see many people, whom I have categorized as good and bad people; but during the next few minutes, my main preoccupation is to listen to them. But the process needs to start with the external sounds. If it is required, I may take enough time to identify the different sounds, and stay with them. I will gently move from one sound to another, without rushing through them. I will pay special attention to those faint sounds, those feeble voices, and let them enter into my senses. It will benefit me the most if I am able to enter into these sounds and become part of them; then I will know that I am unlocking the closed doors of my heart and mind!
No comments:
Post a Comment