Life's Cruel Laughter!

I did not think that Motiur would call me up; he was the employee of the office I had managed for about a year some years ago, and I had built such a rapport with the staff that many shared with me their personal stories. His call came out of the blue and I was for a moment wondering what favor he was going to ask me. I thought it was a courtesy call just to keep tap of the people who have some say in his job, and that is what he too mentioned that he just wanted to keep in touch with me, though i hardly visit his office. But what he said surprised me on several fronts. He is a young Muslim, who is struggling alone both within and without. In the office, he finds himself helpless like all the others, but now has decided to show that being helpless is not going to help anyone, and has volunteered to be the public relations officer to tie the loose ends.

I had a lot of regards for this young man, who had a flair for writing lyrics, and in one of the modern Bengali songs album that i coordinated to produce, he contributed lyrics for four songs, with my ideas given flesh and blood. He was happy to get an opportunity to explore this field of lyricism and was happy about it. He was a creative person who did not want to waste his life in useless, worthless thinking and talk. But the circumstances did not much favor him, and he was often downcast because he would think one and something else would happen to him, and so he would be chased from pillar to post often. He did not want to get married, because he thought to feed another mouth, and yet another in the later years, might become a herculean task for him, but he could not avoid compulsion from the family.

But while talking to me, he said that he was trying to accept all that life offers him with open heart; including the fact that his wife had ran away from the house they were living in with their daughter, threatening to commit suicide by jumping from the train. I could not believe this would happen to him. The issue is silly though. He wanted to repair the small house, where he had been a tenant for several years, and at the death of the owner has come to own the house. He took his benefits from the Provident Fund and decided to repair the house; but his wife wished him to get a refrigerator and a micro-oven. He could not compromise, and that resulted in his wife running away.

Just one of his phrases caught my attention - that was the cruel laughter of fate! He does not believe in fate, but sometimes could not help but console himself that what is destined for him would happen, whether he likes it or not. Life is cruel, often it is so. What can we do when bad things happen to good people? Or when good things happen to bad people? Is there any place where we can complain and get justice? Unfortunately it is the same story with each one of us. In my mother tongue, there is a proverb which says, there is a door-step to every house; each of us have our own stories of confronting the bitter realities of life. It gets filled with riddles for which we have no clue, not to talk about the solution. We find ourselves going in circles!

Today I would like to pause for a while and think of the hundreds of Motiurs I come in touch with each day; I would like to look at their faces, and read the stories that their faces betray. I will not have any answer to them, may not even a sympathetic word, or a pat of approval. In such circumstances, even my silent presence with them can be a great source of consolation. If they are able to get a feeling that in this battle with life, they are not alone, then they will get enough strength and courage to face the tempests that may sweep through their lives. Often I find myself in situations, where I am just helpless, and cannot look up for help from any known quarters. Let me in those moments look up to the endless skies and feel the millions of stars giving me company, whispering in my ears that they too had not much option than be what they are!

Chasing Shades of Shadow

I really can’t understand why we are so frightened of shadows; we can scarcely understand that shadows are part and parcel of light. Can we ever think of shadows if there is no light? The presence of shadows only confirms that there is light; and strangely but interestingly, the brighter the light, stronger may be the shadow, and we have no control over these shadows. These shadows follow the light wherever they go, and it is impossible to separate light from shadows. But we spend a lot of our energy and resources to separate them, and feel disappointed when we are not able to succeed in this mission. The secret is to let the shadows remain with the light; to accept and embrace the shadows as an integral part of light, may give us an opening into wonders in our lives.

Perhaps the best example to illustrate this point is a candle which is burning. Even the best of candles will cast a shadow when brought in contact with an object. Granted that we have no control over the shadows, there is a time when the shadows will slowly disappear. When does that happen? When the candle burns itself, or dies to itself to use a biblical expression, then we know that the shadow too will disappear. The taller the candle, broader is the radius of its shadow. This only reminds us that we have nothing to do with our own shadows too. Any frantic attempt to fight with our shades will only end up in failures, because nature has its own way of remedying the shadows, without our intervention. We need to just let things happen at their natural course, without wishing to hasten the movement.

We all of us are composed of light and shadows; while we are overjoyed with our light areas, we are impatient with our shadows, and think that it is within our capacity to overcome them. We might seek psychological help and spiritual assistance to overcome these shadows, but may realize that we move no further than the starting point. What can we do when we find ourselves drowned by our shadows more than the light? Is there anything that we can do? There is. To embrace the shadows, the accept and acknowledge them can bring greater amount of tranquility and peace in our hearts. Most often we do not want to accept them, but resist them, as if they are unwanted elements. It is true that we don’t desire them, but they are ingrained in ourselves. It takes a lot of courage and strength to actually embrace our shadows, and own them up. The shadows have a lot to contribute to our mental and spiritual health more than the psychological health.

Embracing the shadows also imply yet another important movement in the dynamics of the shadows management: to recognize them for what they are, as if looking through a magnifying glass, to identify them, and even naming them, without tending to judge and evaluate them. It is difficult to be indifferent to them, and our human mind would tend to brand them on the basis of bad or evil, and that can cause us dearly. It needs to be said that shadows themselves are neutral and indifferent, it is what we make of them out to be will determine if the shadows are led to straight path or a crooked one. It is like thoughts which are benign and neutral, but some thoughts can lead one to kill an innocent, while some others may lead one to protect the innocent. But if we try to put aside all the shadows, we might throw the baby with the bath tub, and that may cause us dearly in the long run.

Today I would like to take a dip inside my heart to find the different shadows living with me quietly; I would like to recognize them, identify the, and befriend them. They are my lasting friends, and even if I wish to bid adieu to them, they may not go, because they are part of my second nature. I would like to embrace them, and acknowledge their specific role in my life; I would like to remind myself that much of what I am today is thanks to them. If I am able to keep my shadows to remain under my control, then there are chances that I will be able to grow with them, and then they can very well become my strengths. And what greater joy can there be than the greatest enemies are made into the greatest friends, who would be prepared to give even their lives for me!