Falling in Love

Walking through the hallowed portals of the Catholic University of Leuven in Belgium, once gets a feeling that a sound mind is of paramount importance to continue the tradition of intellectually understanding the workings of the Spirit in the Scriptures, the Church and in the world. Talking to some of the students of this prestigious institution, which can boast a quality that can only be compared to that of Biblicum or Gregorian in Rome, one gets a feeling that Christian (or Catholic to be precise) theology has unfortunately moved from the heart to the head. In fact that is precisely what one of the students had told me, that theological studies today in this University, is a mental work, and not so much that of the heart. That may be an understatement for a person who believes in sound intellectual study in theology, but one may ask the moot question, can theology be only intellectual, not touching the heart?

Every learning experience is an entry into the ever vibrant sea of wisdom; every time we make an effort to intellectually perceive or understand something, we are taking a dip at this bottomless sea; our intellectual quest may never be quenched, and our thirst for greater clarity may never dawn. Unfortunately wisdom is far removed from the processes of the mind or the intellect; wisdom is to do with the heart, and it strikes a chord with the heart, while intellect puts a person directly in touch with the mind, and disconnects from the workings of the senses, feelings of the heart. Learning cannot take place in a vacuum, true; but a mere intellectual exercise may leave a person high and dry at the end. True learning, or a dip into the ocean of wisdom, is a joyful experience, which one may wish to go back time and again; it may be something that may give that person enough stamina and strength to meet the humdrum reality of ever day life.

One thing is for sure, there is very little scope in the modern day teaching-learning situations, for one to really fall in love with what one is busy with almost night and day. If I am doing my masters degree in Systematic Theology, I cannot learn truly unless I fall in love with the subject I am learning. The curriculum, staff, books are to help me in this process of falling in love. They may only help me, but it is for me to really fall in love. Besides, the situation may be such that one is prevented from falling in love in reality; the circumstances may encourage one to enter into a Platonic love relationship, where the partners may appreciate one another at the head-level, not venturing to enter into the heart-level. Can we call it love? Sure, but of a different kind. This is surely not the kind of love that we long for.

In fact once I fall in love with what I am trying to grasp, I go beyond the prescribed books, assignments, tests, examinations, seminars… and in certain cases I may even become mad! No wonder many people who had tried to enter into their subject in a serious way, had found themselves in such situation; they had to be taken to psychiatrists. There is a danger in associating with the subject one loves and studies in an absolute way. But once I begin to love what I do, what I study, I enjoy every moment I spend with the subject, and cherish even when I am away from it. I am not shattered by the bad results in the examination or inability to get through tests and assignments, because I can very well cherish what I am in love with, without worrying too much about what I make out of this relationship. Sadly much of our learning stops at the level of the head, what someone called a mental jugglery.

Today I would like to pause for a while and recollect what I had been doing from the time I got out of my bed early in the morning. I am going to ask myself this simple question, to which I will try to answer as honestly as possible: have I been in love with what I had been doing throughout this day? It is possible that I did certain works or duties or assignments with greater love and care than some others. Let me enlist those that I enjoyed doing, I loved doing, and had taken great care in doing, and had driven great satisfaction. Let me also enlist those things I did out of compulsion, out of necessity, out of duty consciousness. It is not possible that we stop doing these latter things, because sometimes we may find ourselves with too few options. But it is within our power and choice to make the latter as interesting as the former. I may need to take each item for a few days, and transform it slowly into something that I love and enjoy doing it. That may be the secret of making my day as enjoyable as I can ever make it! (Brussels)