It is long since I had spent three full days during the season of Lent to be with the suffering Lord and the suffering humanity. The one thing that takes priority during this season over everything, particularly the spiritual aspects, is the exterior practices, penance and reparation for the past sins. Most often I forget the reason why I do all these penance and sacrifices; it is surely not the time for slimming, as some think it to be, or time for dieting, or time for putting a little control over one’s eating habits. Even the fast and skipping of meals often remain at the level of external practices which do not touch the heart, the core of my being. This year I propose to spend three days on an inward journey, into the core of my being, where alone can I encounter the suffering Lord and the suffering humanity!
Three days are not such a long duration in comparison to my life-time and I can afford to take the 72 hours away from my daily schedule (though I often claim to be too busy for some of the courtesy calls and appearances, many a times I catch myself aimlessly moving from one meaningless activity to another!), and be by myself. The world is not going to miss me much during these 72 hours, which I consider are going to be privileged moments to enter into my self! It is not that I have not ventured into such journeys before, but most often such journeys were interrupted by worldly preoccupations, and I would return to my humdrum reality from half way. Thus I hope and pray I survive the full three days alone with me!
Did I say alone with me? But I am never alone; I am a composite of the body, mind and spirit, and at any given moment I am controlled by these thridev (trinity). I had very seldom given time to enter into the three koshas (layers) of my self. Indian philosophy would detail several koshas, ultimately ending with anandamaya kosha, the blissful layer, and that is what I am hoping to embark upon during these three days, to ultimately seek and find ananda, the perfect bliss! It is God alone who is bliss, and that is why we dare to call him/her anandamayi! The ever joyous, blissful! What a wonderful name is this for God! How wonderful would it be if all of us on earth are as blissful as God is!
Let me place certain assumptions before I jump into the deep waters; am I sure that I am going to enter into deep waters? How deep is it going to be? For a person whose head is immersed into water, it really does not matter if the water level is seven feet high or 20 feet high; the fear and panic one experiences is the same in both the levels. How far I would be able to hold myself is left to each one? From my side, I need to become conscious of where I am? Am I still at the shore, untouched by the living waters that flow from the Lord’s presence, or am I well into the deep? Or am I able to feel the waters slowly rise (it is the Lord’s doing), or that I am moving into deeper waters (it is my Spirit’s doing)? Let me close my eyes and feel the waters?
As a preparation for this three days of inward journey, it is a wonderful thing to enter into the presence of the Lord purifying ourselves. The tribals of India would always begin any religious celebration with the first day dedicated to purificatory rituals, so that their bodies, minds and spirits are free from any sort of impurity which may prevent the Lord entering into our midst. I would like to invoke the Spirit of the Living God to let the living streams flow over me, and purify me of all that would prevent me from recognizing his presence, seeing me with my inner eyes, and holding on to him as my greatest treasure! Let me repeat the mantra on the eve of my journey, as many times as I can: Spirit of the Living God, let your streams flow over and cleanse me!
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