Daring to say 'No'

Thinking about the Genesis story of the fall of humanity, I often wonder why Adam did not have the guts to say ‘no’ to the forbidden fruit, which Eve offered to him. He had after all known that God had forbidden them to eat it, and he could have just told her to throw it away; instead he too takes it and shares the sin of disobedience with Eve. Was he too frightened to say ‘No’ to her? Or if he was afraid what she would think when he says no to her! It is very difficult to guess what might have motivated him to accept the fruit, and if only he dared to refuse the fruit, probably we would have a different story of the fall of humanity!

Studies continue to show that women have far more stamina and strength than men, and this applies to not only the physical sectors, but also to psychic, spiritual and mental areas. More and more men find themselves at the receiving end, and it is difficult to explain the phenomenon. I had been thinking about this for quite some time, taking specific cases of women subduing their men, and the men keeping mum to all the mental and psychological torture which their wives or loved one’s might inflict on them. Sometimes I ask myself, why are these men so very cowardly in front of their women? Are they afraid of losing something very essential in life?

One may think that I am able to think aloud so much because I am not married, and therefore do not understand what goes on between a man and a woman bound by wedlock! It is true that I am quite inexperienced about what may bind a man with a woman, and what may lead a man to silently bear all torture and mental pain inflicted on him (and I do not say that the reverse is uncommon in our society), and does not feel it normal to walk out of such an existence. Even when things do not work, these men continue to live as if nothing is wrong with them, and pretend to show to the outside world that they make the most perfect couple in the world.

I would be one sided if I were to say that men are most often innocent of what they are accused of (infidelity is one of the most commonly pointed accusation on men by women, especially where there is a definite commitment); some men are so very vulnerable that their boats keep rocking, already from the day of their formal wedding; and probably even after they reach the coffins, the boat may be still rocking. Why are some women so mean, possessive, dominant and suspicious that their husbands lose all sense of self-respect, freedom, and their private space is demolished to the ground, and they cease to live their personal lives!

I have such a man so very closely; he does not speak to me anything about what transpires between him and his wife. I often come to hear about the unceasing battle in his house through third persons, and I feel so sad for him. He had done all that he could do, to make his wife happy; the riches he had accumulated for her (sometimes even through unfair means), the jewelry he had purchased for her, properties in their name, and yet what they lack at home today is peace! Even his only eight-year old son has begun to point an accusing finger at him! He does not live a human existence any more, and I only pray that peace may return to their home in the near future!