Frowning at Fear

Is there any person on earth, who is not afraid of any thing under the sky? If ever there is one, then I would be tempted to take my hats off to him/her, whoever that be! It is not that I don't believe there can be a person who is completely fearless. We may come across one in a thousand, who can frighten even the worst of all enemies, the death! But I realize that there is nothing more dangerous and more crippling to life than fear, and if we think seriously about what we are afraid of, we may be surprised to know that most often we do not know what we are afraid of. Because once we know what we are afraid of, then the fear takes leave of us immediately.

Often we are frightened of phantoms of our imagination, which have no correspondence to reality outside. In other words, what we are afraid of, are the creation of our imagination! Some may say that the fears have their origin in hallucinations and hallucinogens and phantasmagoria! The words may sound too big, but what they say is this: we create our own phantoms, which threaten to kill us at a time when we are weak and vulnerable. One of the ways how to over come fear is by confronting the phantoms squarely. Ask yourself, what am I afraid of! No vague answers, but direct concrete answers. If this exercise is repeated three times, then the fear may not be there at all.

But we need to face a more vital question: how and why do I create phantoms of my imagination? The answer is rather simple: we cannot face raw reality, because it is too frightening, and life-threatening. We would like to face sugar-coated reality, something that is mild and gentle. So our mind creates phantoms according to our liking, and these phantoms cannot kill us, because they survive on our fear; but they can lead us to situations where we feel helpless and need to fall back on to them. One way of tackling them is, by realizing that they are as frightened of us as we are frightened of them.

Fear of known things and persons are more within the purview of our control, while fear of unknown is something that is more dangerous. The fear of the unknown can strike at a time when the person least expects, and the the consequences could be quite costly. It will be beneficient to think that most of the fear, which are based on unknown persons and things and events, will lead us to some known fear, because we human beings cannot think in a vacuum.

One way how to treat people with fear of any sort is to look at their fears from rational point of view. The very fact that most of the fears are based on irrational, imaginary concoctions, they are easy to tackle. Take for instance, if a person is afraid of ghosts, start analysing this fear: has the person every seen one? when, where and how? has anyone else seen it? These are questions which can make the person realise that the fear was simply the creation of his/her mind. But there is a fear which is not easy to tackle, and it may take quite a while to really overcome: fear of oneself, of one's conscience, of consciousness! But that is an altogether different story!

Chagrin of change

Change in any field is wrought with its own share of problems and challenges, because to let a stream run its course is easy, non-demanding, but attempting to turn its course to an altogether different direction is going to cost both the stream and the one who attempts it (if there is a human agent involved in it)! However it is change which gives life and vitality to the otherwise monotonous human existence. If there is no change around us, then too soon, we all would be mad, and turn the world topsy-turvy. Everyone desires change, but it is hard for those who are to execute change in the otherwise smooth-flowing stream of activities.

A friend today wrote to me in the email saying that she for the first time lost her temper, and shouted at the teachers for their irresponsible behavior. When the principal had reminded the teachers to keep the students ready for a function, so that time is not wasted, the teachers were all too cool in the faculty room, lost in their own world. That was the time the principal stormed into the staff room, and gave the teachers a piece of her mind. The teachers jumped to their heels and things were as desired within minutes. But if the principal had not given that shock treatment, it would have taken quite some time to get the children organized, and the program would have begun late.

We are all good people, and we hate displeasing others, especially the familiar and friendly people; the people who are cordial and loving towards us. We would think twice or thrice before we tell them anything unpleasant. To pull them up is the last thing that we can think of. On the other side of the spectrum, we realize that the people we are friendly with are the ones who would take the maximum advantage of our dizzy situation. It is easy to let these people continue the way they are used to, and we would not like to dirty our hands, and create havoc to the relationship. But such an approach is sure to cause dearly to the work assigned to them.

Why should I dirty my hands unnecessarily? That is the question that many people tend to ask; after all, it is not only my responsibility! I am only the principal who is appointed for just a few years; it is the duty of the people who decide our fate, to take serious steps against people who falter and err in their duties and responsibilities. We cannot get something good unless someone is prepared to dirty his/her hands, but the moot question is: who is prepared to dirty the hands, and live with the dirty for years to come? As soon as one tries to put an order in the midst of chaos and disorder, the people who created it and love living in the midst of it, are not going to let anything be changed; it is a fierce battle that the one who is at the helm of affairs has to be prepared to face.

Fearlessness is one of the great virtues of servant leadership model, and those who are afraid of dirtying their hands and bear all sorts of criticism and calumny cannot be true leaders. To put it in reverse, one who has not received severe criticism from his/her companions, cannot be a leader worth his/her salt. But to dirty one’s hands can be a powerful exercise to bring in the much needed change and it has to well up from the inner freedom and openness the leader experiences towards the people at his/her service. Such fearlessness, free from any personal agenda, is also a saintly virtue, the hallmark of sincere saintly persons.