The 'Bull'-fight

If there is one thing that human beings are not able to fully control, it is himself/herself. The person who can control the satellites going along their orbits, often finds it hard to control himself. It is paradoxical that human beings are able to control almost everything on earth, but not themselves; and that is why human beings are capable of doing the most unexpected and most ridiculous kind of things. Besides human persons are the most unpredictable of all creatures. We often pride ourselves on the uniqueness of our creation, but looking at the entire scenario, we cannot call ourselves unique, but only abnormal and even psychotic.

Self-control is an art, everyone would agree, and not everyone is capable of mastering this serious and genuine art. Unfortunately very few schools teach this art form, and most often we are let alone to learn this art from life, out of trial and error. The ancient Indian schools, called Gurukula (literally clan of the master), had taught all arts, including this noble art, and that is the reason why most of the princes and kings who had gone through this system were able to rule with level-headedness. They were able to contain their entire self in the palm of their hands, and any amount of provocation and incitement could not make them lose their control.

Self-control is put to serious test under two vital circumstances, on the face of a deep-seated desire and at provocation on something related to one’s personality, character, morality and demeanor. When a person desires to have something dearly, unless there is a strong self-control, one is bound to lose the battle; give in to the desire, which may or may not bring dire consequences. I would like to think of a biblical example, so that I do not need to strip part of myself in illustrating this point. David had this desire to have Bathsheba, and when he is not able to control this desire for flesh, he plots to get rid of her husband Uriah. We know what happened to him then. But such a thing can also happen with things and positions, ambitions, craze for name and fame.

Most often we associate loss of self-control, when it comes to losing of temper; but it can be applied to any strong negative emotion or feeling. A uncontrollable jealousy may impel a person to kill his/her rival; a person who is not able to control one’s gluttony may die of over-eating, and so on. Thus self-control is a noble virtue, to bring to harmony between strong desires and emotions. But it is not that easy to arrive at self-control. Several rishis and munis had spent several years of tapasya, penance in order to learn the art of self-control, and still they would claim they are not able to subdue their body and mind to their spirit.

Is it possible to bring one’s body and mind under the control of one’s spirit? Will we be ever able to do what we desire from the core of our being? It is possible, and it should not take too much of one's years to master this art. But the stepping stone is to realize that one truly wishes and desires to bring the body and mind to a balanced state, where s/he would do only what is good for herself/himself and to the rest of humanity. Maybe one can start reciting this beautiful prayer for all universe : Sabka mangal (2)/Sabka mangal hoi re / Jan Jan mangal (2) / Jan Jan sukiya hoi re / Is darathi ke har ek prani / sabka mangal hoi re (2) / Tapo bhuvan ke sabi tapas / Sabka mangal hoi re (2) : The translation is : May all have well-being / May every human person / Have well-being and happiness / May every living creature / Of this earth have well-being / May all the rishis and munis / Have well-being.

Fighting with Fate

It came as a surprise for me! I could not think that her mother was a mentally challenged person, who died yesterday, and two of her siblings had inherited the mental disturbance of her mother. Only she and one of her brothers had been spared from severe mental breakdown. To make things worse, her father had deserted the family some twenty years ago, and had married another lady. The family had been adopted by Mother Teresa, and all the children had been brought up by her sisters ever since. It is a sad story and who would think that life would be so very cruel to her, even as she dreams of a life with classical dance.

She seems to have told a friend of mine that she would not like to perpetuate the generation with mental disabilities, and so would be happy to live alone. Wedded to an art is not something that is uncommon in art circles; some of the greatest artists and literati were single, and had left behind works which could be considered, if not called, their consorts. She is probably aware that she is aging faster than she would have thought; after setting foot at thirty, it is not easy for a woman to look back to have a married life; at least such a thing is next to impossibility in our country. But as her story slowly unfolds, I feel sad for her; how could God be so very cruel to punish her for no fault of hers?

Luckily there is a saving grace: her dance. At least there is an excuse for her to hide the real reason which haunts her: the stigma that she is forced to carry, that her mother was a mentally challenged person, and her siblings too carry the same "virus", and what is the guarantee that she has been fully spared? Is she to be condemned to the fate of the 'devadasis' of the South Indian temples, who carried on the classical dance tradition, bearing the brunt of being women who were dedicated to the Lord (but in fact used and abused by the priestly class!)? All the doors seem to be closed for her, even as she begins to put a brave face before all the people, who luckily cannot read her heart!

Probably it may be quite obvious from her dance; certain amount of stiffness, and seriousness, which hide her genuine beauty and gracefulness. As is the case, we cannot hide all that we wish; certain amount of our self is revealed even without our consciously knowing. There are several things in her heart which need to be poured out; the baggage she has been carrying for years may make her journey tedious and tiresome; she may be prone to frequent bouts of anger and temper, which are the expressions of the mounting tension deep within her. It may not be surprising that if she does not begin to handle herself, she too may find herself in her mother's place, and may be forced to let life take the upper hand.

Helplessness is not the word that describes her predicament; the calculated ways how life is denying her the simple and soft pleasures is more than any person can bear. But most often in life, we have no bargaining capacity with life; we have to accept what is offered. I am still hopeful that something good may come her way, if not immediately, but at least after a few months and years, when she might be able to laugh heartily, smile genuinely, and look at the golden rays of the morning sun and feel proud to be a human person to appreciate her beauty. Today I join the entire universe in wishing her that day come her way soon.

Chagrin of change

Change in any field is wrought with its own share of problems and challenges, because to let a stream run its course is easy, non-demanding, but attempting to turn its course to an altogether different direction is going to cost both the stream and the one who attempts it (if there is a human agent involved in it)! However it is change which gives life and vitality to the otherwise monotonous human existence. If there is no change around us, then too soon, we all would be mad, and turn the world topsy-turvy. Everyone desires change, but it is hard for those who are to execute change in the otherwise smooth-flowing stream of activities.

A friend today wrote to me in the email saying that she for the first time lost her temper, and shouted at the teachers for their irresponsible behavior. When the principal had reminded the teachers to keep the students ready for a function, so that time is not wasted, the teachers were all too cool in the faculty room, lost in their own world. That was the time the principal stormed into the staff room, and gave the teachers a piece of her mind. The teachers jumped to their heels and things were as desired within minutes. But if the principal had not given that shock treatment, it would have taken quite some time to get the children organized, and the program would have begun late.

We are all good people, and we hate displeasing others, especially the familiar and friendly people; the people who are cordial and loving towards us. We would think twice or thrice before we tell them anything unpleasant. To pull them up is the last thing that we can think of. On the other side of the spectrum, we realize that the people we are friendly with are the ones who would take the maximum advantage of our dizzy situation. It is easy to let these people continue the way they are used to, and we would not like to dirty our hands, and create havoc to the relationship. But such an approach is sure to cause dearly to the work assigned to them.

Why should I dirty my hands unnecessarily? That is the question that many people tend to ask; after all, it is not only my responsibility! I am only the principal who is appointed for just a few years; it is the duty of the people who decide our fate, to take serious steps against people who falter and err in their duties and responsibilities. We cannot get something good unless someone is prepared to dirty his/her hands, but the moot question is: who is prepared to dirty the hands, and live with the dirty for years to come? As soon as one tries to put an order in the midst of chaos and disorder, the people who created it and love living in the midst of it, are not going to let anything be changed; it is a fierce battle that the one who is at the helm of affairs has to be prepared to face.

Fearlessness is one of the great virtues of servant leadership model, and those who are afraid of dirtying their hands and bear all sorts of criticism and calumny cannot be true leaders. To put it in reverse, one who has not received severe criticism from his/her companions, cannot be a leader worth his/her salt. But to dirty one’s hands can be a powerful exercise to bring in the much needed change and it has to well up from the inner freedom and openness the leader experiences towards the people at his/her service. Such fearlessness, free from any personal agenda, is also a saintly virtue, the hallmark of sincere saintly persons.