The Phantom within

There was a little fear within me as I readied to receive feedback about me, and how I came across to my companions, especially with whom I sat for “business” discussions every month. I had been quite conscious about many of the things which were going on in me for quite some time, and were working on some areas too. Now the fear was not about some unknown phantoms coming out of my cupboard, but about naming and accepting the one’s which had been living with me for quite many years, so much so I might have taken them for granted. Now is the time for me to take a good look at them again, and recognize them for what they truly are in my life.

Known devils are better than unknown angels, so goes a popular adage, and how true it is. The unknown phantoms living within me frightens me, and I have to make all effort not to let them get out at a moment when I least expected them. There were some other phantoms which were hiding behind myself, and I was least aware of them – when my companions gave feedback about me, these phantoms came across to me as unacceptable vices on my part. Two of my companions said that others may find it hard to work with me, because of my domineering attitude, and one said that I might find it hard to work with others.

I realize that all of my companions had a little bit of truth, and it would be a great danger if they asserted that they were absolutely sure about what they said about me; I am aware that even my own understanding of my limitations were conditioned by my awareness and consciousness. I felt that my friends were giving too much importance to the feedback given by others, and undermining my own realization of my limitations. The views and feedback of each one is conditioned by their own limitations and perspectives, and it would be next to impossible to separate these views from the personal bias.

But to be aware of the phantoms is one thing, and it is another thing to recognize the phantoms as residing inside of me. There is always a tendency in me to disown the phantoms, or attributing them to someone else, or to find excuses for their presence in my life. I know the same is also true with all my other friends and companions. There is not a single individual who from the very start embraces the phantoms without any reservation. All of them have their own excuses and limitations, but to name the nameless and faceless phantoms and giving them a space in the reality of our existence can make a lot of difference, and that is what I am struggling with just now.

I hesitate to accept everything that my companions tell me as gospel truth; there are more than enough evidences which say that many of my friends impose on me phantoms of their own making, and in psychology this could be just a matter of projection, and they may not even be realizing that they are doing this, either consciously or unconsciously. Not all phantoms are horrifying, and some of them could even be so very gentle and cool that even an angel may fail in comparison with them. Not all phantoms are evil and blood-mongers, some of them may even love to disappear into thin air, if that would help me to come to terms with the hardcore realities of life and embrace them wholeheartedly. This is time I welcome the phantoms and hug them lovingly.

Charming Cheers and After

It is not strange that sometimes the most unexpected people could come in our way and make us smile. It is generally not possible for us to imagine that a hardcore drunkard could reach us safely, when we are helpless, and find it hard to find a way. That is what happened to my friend today, and while narrating this incident, all that she could do was have a hearty laughter. But there is nothing strange that a drunkard may be the right person, when we are caught in a tight corner, and find it hard to find a way; for one thing, the drunkards know exactly what they are up to, and maybe more normal under the influence of liquor than otherwise.

We should be extremely careful when we deal with drunkards, because they may not be as oblivious of what is happening around them as we might think them to be. There are many who feign after having a drink, and some others gain enormous amount of guts and courage after a peg or two. There are very few who can really forget the whole world and enter into a world of make-belief where they can realize all their dreams and aspirations. It would be cruel to pull them out of this state forcefully, by any violent means, though I understand what are the things that the drunkards are capable of when drunk.

A few days ago, a close friend of mine, did acknowledge that he committed a socially objectionable act, under the influence of alcohol, and said he should have been more careful not to drink to the point of not realizing what he was doing. That one moment had darkened his entire life, and he had to go through agonizing moments because of the few minutes when he forgot himself and what he was doing. But that is the story with many a drunkard; many begin to regret for ever giving in to alcohol, which had led them to endless troubles and misery. If we look around, we shall find many who would vouch for this.

We often think that those who are under the influence of alcohol are bound to falter in their steps; it is true with amateurs, but not with veterans. There are men and women, who even after half a dozen pegs of hard drink can walk unfalteringly, and speak as if they had not touched wine. In fact, these people enter into a higher level of consciousness, only when they are drunk, and when they are not drunk, they may appear to be in a stupor. A few months, I was sorry to meet my cousin, who was so addicted to wine, that without it, he was violent, abnormal; but as soon as he had a peg, he was calm and quiet, and was even able to joke.

Not all those who drink alcohol are drunkards; quite a many do drink on social gatherings and special occasions, while some others require it, as if it is their staple drink. I have become rather sympathetic towards who are either victims of alcohol or are unable to get out of the clutches of wine, which may slowly ruin their entire lives. But while we do not encourage drunkards to continue drinking, we take our hats off to the “good” drunkards, who can come to our aid daringly and willingly, and rescue us from the stalemate we might otherwise be languishing in. After all, the whole sky is not filled with dark clouds, we may come across a few stray immaculate white ones too.

Frowning at Fear

Is there any person on earth, who is not afraid of any thing under the sky? If ever there is one, then I would be tempted to take my hats off to him/her, whoever that be! It is not that I don't believe there can be a person who is completely fearless. We may come across one in a thousand, who can frighten even the worst of all enemies, the death! But I realize that there is nothing more dangerous and more crippling to life than fear, and if we think seriously about what we are afraid of, we may be surprised to know that most often we do not know what we are afraid of. Because once we know what we are afraid of, then the fear takes leave of us immediately.

Often we are frightened of phantoms of our imagination, which have no correspondence to reality outside. In other words, what we are afraid of, are the creation of our imagination! Some may say that the fears have their origin in hallucinations and hallucinogens and phantasmagoria! The words may sound too big, but what they say is this: we create our own phantoms, which threaten to kill us at a time when we are weak and vulnerable. One of the ways how to over come fear is by confronting the phantoms squarely. Ask yourself, what am I afraid of! No vague answers, but direct concrete answers. If this exercise is repeated three times, then the fear may not be there at all.

But we need to face a more vital question: how and why do I create phantoms of my imagination? The answer is rather simple: we cannot face raw reality, because it is too frightening, and life-threatening. We would like to face sugar-coated reality, something that is mild and gentle. So our mind creates phantoms according to our liking, and these phantoms cannot kill us, because they survive on our fear; but they can lead us to situations where we feel helpless and need to fall back on to them. One way of tackling them is, by realizing that they are as frightened of us as we are frightened of them.

Fear of known things and persons are more within the purview of our control, while fear of unknown is something that is more dangerous. The fear of the unknown can strike at a time when the person least expects, and the the consequences could be quite costly. It will be beneficient to think that most of the fear, which are based on unknown persons and things and events, will lead us to some known fear, because we human beings cannot think in a vacuum.

One way how to treat people with fear of any sort is to look at their fears from rational point of view. The very fact that most of the fears are based on irrational, imaginary concoctions, they are easy to tackle. Take for instance, if a person is afraid of ghosts, start analysing this fear: has the person every seen one? when, where and how? has anyone else seen it? These are questions which can make the person realise that the fear was simply the creation of his/her mind. But there is a fear which is not easy to tackle, and it may take quite a while to really overcome: fear of oneself, of one's conscience, of consciousness! But that is an altogether different story!

Time to Celebrate

It didn’t occur to me until yesterday that I have crossed the 100th blog a few days ago; and hitting a century is no mean achievement for the one who cannot hold the pen for too long. With a gap of about four months in between, the blogs went seamlessly, some days more than one hitting the screen. I feel that I had managed to make it till now, and don’t really know how many I will be able to hit in the next months and years…

I deserve to celebrate this achievement, though it is nothing one can be proud of, given the voluminous writings and blogs that fill the web. There are people who make business writing blogs, and for the people who consider the blogs as a viable escapist route to self-disclosure, and a serious examination of one’s consciousness. This needs a celebration, but who will join me? Those who look forward to an extra peg of whiskey or brandy, any time is time for celebration. They need no season and reason to open a bottle of whiskey and celebrate. What am I here to open and let the froth overflow?

Often in life I find people working hard throughout the year, forgetting to take time off to enjoy life. There are husbands who would sacrifice the company of wife and children in order to eke an extra amount of money, forgetting the fact that money really cannot purchase the pleasant company of being with wife and children, taking them for an ice-cream, accompanying them to a mall, or going on a picnic to the beach… A life which is dry and drab is not worthwhile. Those who know how to celebrate for any or no reason, are often the people who are happy, and know how to find happiness even if it is a cold tea offered to them by a friend. Celebrations give the much needed kick in life.

So, am I ready for a celebration today? Oh yes, the celebration is already on; this extra dose of blog is just to celebrate; spending an extra half hour, to pour out the thought that had been hanging on to my mind for the past two days, is truly a celebration which I enjoy indulging in. Yes, any celebration which does not give enjoyment to the participants cannot be counted as a celebration in the strict sense of the word. In fact, to enjoy and be rejuvenated, one does not need liquor bottles each time. What really energizes a person during celebration is the perspective, the point of view – what I am looking for!

Everyday can be a suitable day for celebration; if you want to add a little spice to your life, then double the dose of celebrations; find any excuse to have celebrations – say weekly celebrations, monthly celebrations, locality celebrations and clique celebrations… I can guarantee, the more the number of celebrations, happier will be your life. But mind you, I don’t recommend that each of your celebrations should be extravagant and expensive. Make a weekly celebration with just fruit juice; another occasion with just peanuts. Then you will realize that there are others who wish to invite you for their celebrations. If every day is a celebration, then one would think one life is not enough!

Confluence of Consciousness

Listening to the audio books of Esther Hicks on the teachings of Abraham is opening up new vistas of thinking in me. It is obvious that much of the concept surrounding the making of The Secret by Rhonda Byrne is from Hicks (Esther and her husband Jerry). Maybe it is through The Secret that I had come to appreciate the wisdom of the teachings of Abraham, and as I went on listening to her talks, or rather conversation with Jerry, I was suddenly stuck by one idea : Christ consciousness. I felt as if a thunderbolt had stuck me hard, and suddenly I began to see things, imagine things, and out of the blue I begin to understand something wonderful and new. I rushed to my room, pulled out a scrap book and began to put down a few lines, which I was sure to elaborate in future.

At the top of the page I wrote "Christ-Krishna Consciousness", and hopefully this will be the theme of a long writeup or a book in the future, dwelling not so much on the religious tenets of these two personalities whom we meet at every nook and cranny of this subcontinent, but on how we all of us share in their consciousness... or to correct myself... in the One consciousness which flows in the universe. In fact, I begin to see a few characteristic features of consciousness which can be the life-spring of the universe: it is beyond all religion, it is amoral, it is there everywhere, it can be attributed with all the qualities of God - omnicient, omnipresent and omnipotent.

What is so special about Christ-Krishna consciousness? We climb the ladder of divinity or sanctity in proportion to our awareness of consciousness. What we call enlightenment is nothing but an entry point into the world of consciousness... once we begin to be conscious of what we are, how we are, why we are - we are transformed beings. But the world will not allow us to enter into the state of consciousness, because a mere taste of this ethereal reality negates the mundane world, and one who has tasted the fruits of consciousness, would not turn to the world and what she would offer to him/her.

I would think that Christ and Krishna are not embodies selves, but pure consciousness, and we may give them any name and shape and form, and we are all capable of entering into such a consciousness and can truly become like unto them... Maybe that is what St Paul talks about in his epistles - becoming like Christ; it is not a passive experience, but entering into the world of Christ; becoming a Christian - alter Christus (another Christ). Once we truly enter into His self, then we forget the world; and in such a state, we even forget the label of Christ, because in his true self and identity, he becomes the nameless one, the formless one, the ever present, the ever eternal... He is Krishna, he is Allah, he is Buddha, he is all the spiritual beings who had populated this universe.

The role of religion is basically to open the gates of consciousness and help us in getting a taste of this eternal consciousness; but unfortunately all the religions have remained only in the level of materialism, not taking us beyond that. We have for the most part remained with labels, names and forms of Christ and Krishna. Today let me pause for two minutes, making a sincere attempt to enter into the ever-flowing stream of consciousness; let me float in, and enter into the great confluence of consciousness, where I can meet Christ and Krishna, Allah and Buddha... where even my enemy is Christ or Krishna, everyone is a carrier of that eternal consciousness. And that is the birth place of sheer unalloyed bliss - ananda. For consciousness opens the floodgates of bliss to all of us! Am I ready to enter into such a consciousness?