Personal Discernment

I propose the following simple process of personal discernment, basing on the method proposed by Ignatius of Loyola. Take about half a day to be by yourself to enter into a deeper communion with God, to discern what he wants of you. It will be better to go to a quiet place, where you can be by yourself, where there will not be anyone to disturb you.

Place yourself in the presence of God, and seek his Holy Spirit to come upon you, and open your heart and mind to know his most holy will for you, and a receptive heart that will cling on to whatever He might reveal to you. Seek the assistance of our Lady too to help you in your search.

Take a sheet of paper and put down all the reasons why you should take up the new appointment in the new place. Put down all the reasons, both subjective and objective. For example, the people there are in need of help; there are too few members of the congregation in number; with earlier experience in social work, you can help them coordinate the works better, etc. Take enough time to do this; don't be in a hurry. Think of all possible reasons; make as much as possible an exhaustive list. Take about one hour to do this.

Now hold this paper in your hands, and spend about fifteen minutes in prayer before the Lord; in your mind go through the points you have written. Listen to the whispers of the Spirit; what is the Lord telling you here and now. Don’t be analytical or rational, but let your heart vibrate with the points you have sincerely put down.

Take another sheet of paper, and now write down all the reasons why you should accept the assignment, but continue with your present ministry. Remember, by this time, you are not too attached to remaining in the same place, you should have reached indifference. Don't think about what you would do here in the future; that is secondary. The main issue is to accept the new assignment or not. Stay with that. Make an exhaustive list of the reasons why you should not go there; such as, you feel you can serve the Lord better by teaching; you feel confident the Lord is calling you to be a here, etc. Spend about an hour to do this exercise.

Again hold the paper in your hands, and spend about fifteen minutes before the Lord, considering all the points you have put as against the new assignment. Listen to what the Lord is telling you; listen to his whispers. Be attentive to his voice speaking at the depth of your being.

Now place both the papers in front of you, and have a good look at them; weigh both of them; note which one weighs more. Which paper has more substantial reasons; don't be biased, but honestly and objectively see where you find weighty reasons. It may not be very difficult to find out which paper weighs more. After having a look at both the papers together, close your eyes, and seek the Spirit's assistance and guidance to make a right choice. Which of the two is more pleasing to the Lord? At the end of about fifteen to thirty minutes, you would be able to tell for yourself this is the option the Lord is showing to me. End the personal discernment with a thanksgiving prayer to the Lord, to his Spirit and to our Lady, and seeking the Father’s blessings to confirm your decision.

When ways part

It may be important to realise that when we join a religious congregation we keep ourselves fully at the disposal of the congregation to do what is most in need of; the need of the congregation is the area I have to prepare myself to fulfill. There are chances that what the congregation might want of me will be quite different from my personal likes and desires. I personally feel that the need of the congregation has to take precedence over the personal interest. That is why when some of our fathers complain that they were prepared for school and are asked to go to a parish, we tell them that it is the special charism of the Society to go where there is need.

It is my experience, when we happily accept the need of the congregation as our personal priority, then there are chances that our ministry will be fruitful, and life joyful, or if you want a business term, successful. Otherwise life will always be a burden, because the work we do does not emerge from our heart, but from a compulsion of the superiors. We cannot always expect to get the appointments we personally like. It may be good to ask ourselves this simple question : Have I joined this congregation to do what I like, or to do what God wants of me?

But how do I know what God wants of me, how do I discern the will of God for me here and now? It will be good to go through a process of personal discernment before responding to the request of your superiors. In order to really discern God's will for me, I have to arrive at true indifference; this means I should be prepared happily either to take up the new assignment or not, whichever will be more pleasing to the Lord. It may not be impossible to arrive at such a mental disposition, if one earnestly desires it.

If I am more inclined towards one option, I should pray that I may choose the other, the one which my heart is not prepared to consider at this moment of time. Ignatius would call this 'agere contra' (to act against) the natural inclination of the heart. In your case, if you are not in favor of accepting the new assignment, you should pray to God that you may have a desire to accept it joyfully. If you reach such a stage, and are indifferent to both the choices, then you can start the personal discernment process.

It will be good to bear in mind that as ordinary weak human beings, the will of God comes to us through persons, events, and the whispers of God at the depth of our being. For the religious often the will of God is expressed through the directives of our superiors. Ignatius has shown that following the directives of the superiors (even when they sound unreasonable and ridiculous), maybe a surer way of following the will of God for me here and now! This however, may not be in consonance with what my personal discernment shows. Accepting it then makes me free from all the mental and physical tension I may go through for no use.