Ignatian Insights 10: Desolation

Opposite of consolation is desolation, and is yet another important term developed by Inigo on the basis of his own spiritual experiences. The first time that Inigo mentions ‘desolation’ in the Spiritual Exercises is in No. 13, “to act against the desolation and overcome the temptations, the exercitant ought to remain always a little longer than the full hour…” But for an explanation of what he means by this term, we need to move to the Discernment of Spirits for Week I. After explaining consolation, Inigo explains desolation: “By this kind of desolation I mean everything which is the contrary of whatever described in the Third Rule; for example, obtuseness of soul, turmoil within it, an impulsive motion toward low and earthly things, or disgust from various agitations and temptations” (317:1-2).

This is a spiritual experience, which can be likened to the “dark night of the soul” of some of the saints of our times, such as St Theresa of Avila, St John of the Cross, and even Blessed Teresa of Kolkata. Here one experiences the lack of the evangelical virtues of hope, faith and charity, and one feels listless, tepid, unhappy and separated from God (317:3). If this is the painful moment one goes through, Inigo observes that the person should not make a change, but should remain firm and constant in the resolutions and decisions made before the desolation (318:1). There is yet another thing that we should do at the time of desolation: “by insisting on prayer, meditation, earnest self-examination, and some suitable way of doing penance” (319).

Though at the time of desolation we may feel quite low and feel the Lord has withdrawn his abundant fervour, love and grace, and yet he supplies his grace for our salvation. In other words, during this time, one may feel the absence of the Lord, but it is not the absence in reality, but merely a feeling of the absence of the Lord; that is to say, one’s inner eyes are blinded during this time, and one is not able to see the Lord. Therefore Inigo invites us to persevere in patience, and this way one may be able to counterattack against the vexations experienced. And one can be sure that soon consolation will return, and one may experience the nearness of God and the increase of hope, faith and charity (321).

In no. 322, Inigo presents three chief causes of desolation: first, we ourselves are tepid, lazy or negligent in our spiritual exercises and therefore consolation leaves; second, it is meant to test how much we will be able to align ourselves with God and his service even in the apparent absence of his presence, and third, to recognize and understand that all expressions of consolation, namely great devotion, intense love, tears are a gift and grace from God, and reminding us not to indulge in vainglory that we merited the spiritual consolation.

We could ask ourselves, what the notion of desolation reminds us of, and why it is important for us to be aware of this. First, every person who is seriously concerned about his/her spiritual well-being will be confronted by desolation at some time or other, and we should be prepared to face it when it comes. Second, Inigo presents some simple ways of responding to desolation, which may come handy to us. Third, Inigo reminds us that desolation is not the time to lose all hope of finding God, and the peace and tranquillity which flow from Him, but to remain steadfast and wait patiently for consolation. Fourth, he reminds us that often we ourselves may cause desolation, and therefore warns us not to give scope to them.

Ignatian Insights 9: Indifference

The English word ‘indifference’ perhaps does not adequately express what Inigo meant by the word, and therefore it demands an explanation. This principle is so central to Inigo’s understanding of the spiritual journey of a person, without perfecting this ‘indifference’, it would be impossible to excel in spiritual virtues. It is so central that Inigo introduces this notion already in the Principle and Foundation (no. 23) of the Spiritual Exercises. This is considered a basic attitude demanded of a person who sincerely seeks to achieve his own salvation and that of his neighbour.

Let us consider what Inigo means by ‘indifference’ in the Spiritual Exercises: “To attain this [goal for which I am created], it is necessary to make ourselves indifferent to all created things, in regard to everything which is left to our free will and is not forbidden” (23:5). George E. Ganss explains what Inigo implies by ‘indifference’ – “undetermined to one thing or option rather than another; impartial, unbiased; without decision suspended until the reasons for a wise choice are learned; still undecided”. This implies interior freedom from disordered affections. We would do great injustice to Inigo if we take this word to mean unconcerned about the issue, which is what the word may mean to an ordinary person.

Indifference as observed by Inigo is a noble and spiritual value, and is not easy to attain, unless we are able to free ourselves from the personal bias, prejudices and lopsided attachments. Only the people who are ready to start the spiritual journey from the starting point, without already having a ready-made route map will be able to choose the best means to reach the destination, and the best way which is sure to reach him. Any attempt to start the journey with a pre-conceived route map and the possible means, it would automatically exclude all other means some of which may be more expedient and favourable to reach the destination. But the problematic area is to free the mind and heart from any pre-fabricated route maps, and start from ground zero.

This notion of spiritual indifference, if we may call this so, is so very dear to other religious traditions too. In the Bhagavad Gita, while talking about the kind of people who are dear to Him, Lord Krishna tells his disciple Arjuna that those who are neither cold or hot, neither moved by joys or sorrows, those who are not affected by praise or accusations, such are the people who are dear to Him. In other words, those who are controlled by the human choices, which can be erroneous often, and those swayed by the movements of the mind, they would not be able to focus their attention on the Lord, or His words.

Inigo invites us to embark on our spiritual journey, without choosing the route map of our own making, the fruit of our own whims and fancies, and are invited to leave behind our extra sandals, tunic and purse, because these are the very things Jesus told his disciples to leave behind, when he sent them on their first missionary enterprise. It is only then that we will be able to feel the providential care of God, who alone knows best what we are in need of, and which means can best serve us. Indifference does not mean unconcernedness, but even moves close to the more difficult and challenging option, and if only we taste what this means in our spiritual life, we will begin to make it part of our spiritual costume to protect ourselves from onslaught by the world.

Ignatian Insights 8: Tantum Quantum

Several means may be employed in order to achieve a particular goal, and we may not rate the means equally. Some of the means may be superior to others, and some others easy and practical. If we are to be stuck by the means while assessing them, then we may miss the bus; our aim is to discern the most suitable means which will take us to the fulfillment of the goal. Here I cannot hold on to any of the means, but should strive to be "indifferent" to the available means. Connected to the notion of 'indifference' is the important idea of tantum quantum, which is one of the central themes of the Principle and Foundation of the Spiritual Exercises (no. 23). He insists that I should be prepared to accept only the means which would take me to the goal.

Human as we are, there are several biases, prejudices and pre-conceived notions which control the selection of the means to reach the goal. We may be attached to certain means, which, instead of taking us to the goal, may only distract and distance us. Here what is more important is the conviction as to what I really want. If I would like to have an experience of the forest, I should not be lost in the details of a particular tree. But if the means become my primary concern, then it is an indication I am not giving sufficient importance to the goal. I may come to know more about that particular tree, but may not know anything about the forest. Sri Ramkrishna used to say, there are as many ways as there are opinions.

It is only through an impartial adn even indifferent sifting and consideration of the means which can take me to the goal. It is only when I am prepared to take only the means which will take me to the end, that I will be focusing on the goal, instead of the means. The means cannot occupy my central focus, but the goal should. Here Inigo presents the golden rule of tantum quantum, meaning I should make use of the means only in as much as they take me to the goal I am aiming at. If they take me to the goal, I shall use them, and if they do not, then I shall not use them. However I should remember that all the means should be just adn rightful.

It is from this understanding that Inigo proceeds to state that I should be open to make use of whichever means that will help me, and therefore I shall not favour one to another. Therefore I shall seek one means to another, but keeping myself 'indifferent' to the means. It is possible that I might think a particular means may take me to the goal, but after some time I may realize that it was taking me another direction. Thus long life or short life, riches or poverty, sickness or health, we should be open to whichever means that is useful to us.

It may be difficult for us to choose the right means if we are not free from 'inordinate attachments', which may bind us. For instance, if I am attached to long life, I may revolt with God, when I am to glorify him thorugh my short life. Similarly if God invites me to bear witness to him through poverty, when I am attached to riches, I might struggle to stomach the challenge God may present to me. If only we begin to make use of this golden rule of Inigo, to select the means to rach a particular goal, then we will have more things to thank and praise God!

Seeds of Sensitivity

Insensitivity to the needs of our dear ones is ingrained into the human psyche; we are not talking about insensitivity to the animal and plant kingdoms, but to the clan of our own. Perhaps this is the one and only quality that is needed of the present generation to make life on earth more joyful and happy, and perhaps this is one of the toughest of all challenges this generation has to face. If only we are more sensitive to things and persons around us, then there would be better peace and harmony in our families; if we have sensitivity between the members of the family, each family can boast of an ideal family. But reality is far from this kind of situation, and that is what is ailing our age.

Like everyone else around me, I am no exception to exhibiting insensitivity towards others, especially those who are in any way less fortunate or less qualified or lower than me in social-religious status, and it does not hurt me at all to be cold and indifferent towards them. I often feel justified in being insensitive towards them, and feel they all deserve it from me. Often my relationship with them determines how sensitive or insensitive I am to them. To the people I am bonded, I tend to be alert and extremely sensitive to their needs and necessities, but to those who do not much matter to me, I am indifferent and insensitive.

I have seen that sensitivity towards other persons and to animals and plants is a matter of attitude, not merely conditioned by my personal rapport with them. For instance, if I know that certain group of people are noble and worthy of honor in my sight, then I would tend to go out of my way to make them comfortable and provide them all their needs. Let me illustrate this with an example. Often priests and religious go to attend celebrations which most often end with a festive dinner. While the priests and religious enjoy a hearty meal, their vehicle drivers may be left to starve outside the dining halls. How many of the priests and religious would remember to call them inside and provide them the same meal they take part in? I have noticed that fortunately this part of the world the priests and religious do remember to do this, partly because the drivers are part of their household, their family.

There is one little way how this sense of sensitivity towards others could be cultivated by all, and it is not so difficult to do. If only I look at every person around me as an extension of my own self, then much of the problem of insensitivity would be nibbed already at the bud. This would mean that I should dissociate the persons from all the categories the world had imposed on them, such as social, economic and religious class this person belongs to, the nationality, color, caste and influence he/she enjoys, and this would require certain mental exercise. Once this is done, then it is not difficult to look at the person with new eyes, and I would not need to be excessively alert to be sensitive to his or her needs. I would be automatically impelled to be sensitive to his/her needs.

I have been so appreciative of certain friends of mine, who are so sensitive to the needs of others that they would not bother about their own personal needs and necessities. There is another important virtue they hold, presence of mind. They are often trouble-shooters, and their sensitivity to persons and situations make them so adept to hand tough situations boldly and courageously that they are often in great demand. I feel sensitivity is a divine virtue, and while it is fifty per cent God given, the other fifty per cent needs to be cultivated and nurtured. The people who are sensitive in a society make a lot of difference, and thanks to them we can boast most of our demands are easily met.

The Divine Spark

The Greek philosophers had understood the essential nature of human beings in its most profound manner, when they said that every human person has a divine spark in him/her, and we cannot exclude anyone from this category. All of us are born with the divine face, but this face is marred in the world, as we come in touch with the notion of good and evil. Unfortunately it is only the human beings who have this sense of distinction between good and evil; look at the plants and animals, for them everyone is the same; there is no difference between friend and foe, they go beyond this marked distinction, and that is what makes them so happy and contended with life on earth. They have nothing to grumble about, nothing to complain about. All is well with them.

One of the most important role and function of religion is to help humanity recognize the divine spark in them, and attain it through a disciplined way. In very simplistic terms, all religions show us the way to recognize that we have the divine spark in us, and it is possible to regain it. And the Bhagavad Gita, one chapter of the epic poem the Mahabharata, shows us one simple way, which is possible for every person. In chapter 9 of the Gita, Lord Krishna teaches his disciple Arjuna the path to eternal friendship with the Lord. Answering the question who is dear to the Lord, Lord Krishna shows his disciple the path of equanimity, or to use an Ignatian term ‘indifference’.

We are so used to black and white distinction, that we cannot think of grey, the in-between, and strangely the Lord teaches Arjuna he has to be untouched by happiness and sadness, not desiring holy and unholy; the one who is the same to friends and foes, to cold and heat, such is dear to the Lord. Ultimately what matters is that the devotee is able to offer himself/herself to the Lord of the Universe, in whose hands is our destiny. But it is not easy to reach this stage, and it is next to impossible to find persons who have reached this stage. We could call the people who are close to this stage as saints and sages, and it may be possible to find one or two persons during one’s generation.

The spiritual sages of our nation have shown that the path to freedom and sanctity is not easy to reach; one has to renounce everything, including the desire to attain complete freedom and remain in perpetual ananda. When we seek this freedom, we realize that everything on earth is equally good and valid pathway to reach the divine in us. We realize that the divine spark is in all beings, both animate and inanimate, and the moment when we realize the divine even in our foes, those who do evil to us, and relate to them as if we are relating to the divine personality, then we can be sure that we are closer to reaching our destination.

It is true that true saints and sages would talk to the plants and animals, stones and rocks as if they had life, just as human beings. What is more surprising is that often they believed they received a positive response from these so-called inanimate and animate beings too, which is quite unintelligible to us mortals. It is possible that we do not take pains to learn the language of the birds and plants, stones and rocks; it might take just a life-long sadhana to really understand their language, and that is the language of divinity. For when we have mastered this language, everything around us becomes divine, and the whole world is charged with divinity. We become part of God-head, and we are gods!

When ways part

It may be important to realise that when we join a religious congregation we keep ourselves fully at the disposal of the congregation to do what is most in need of; the need of the congregation is the area I have to prepare myself to fulfill. There are chances that what the congregation might want of me will be quite different from my personal likes and desires. I personally feel that the need of the congregation has to take precedence over the personal interest. That is why when some of our fathers complain that they were prepared for school and are asked to go to a parish, we tell them that it is the special charism of the Society to go where there is need.

It is my experience, when we happily accept the need of the congregation as our personal priority, then there are chances that our ministry will be fruitful, and life joyful, or if you want a business term, successful. Otherwise life will always be a burden, because the work we do does not emerge from our heart, but from a compulsion of the superiors. We cannot always expect to get the appointments we personally like. It may be good to ask ourselves this simple question : Have I joined this congregation to do what I like, or to do what God wants of me?

But how do I know what God wants of me, how do I discern the will of God for me here and now? It will be good to go through a process of personal discernment before responding to the request of your superiors. In order to really discern God's will for me, I have to arrive at true indifference; this means I should be prepared happily either to take up the new assignment or not, whichever will be more pleasing to the Lord. It may not be impossible to arrive at such a mental disposition, if one earnestly desires it.

If I am more inclined towards one option, I should pray that I may choose the other, the one which my heart is not prepared to consider at this moment of time. Ignatius would call this 'agere contra' (to act against) the natural inclination of the heart. In your case, if you are not in favor of accepting the new assignment, you should pray to God that you may have a desire to accept it joyfully. If you reach such a stage, and are indifferent to both the choices, then you can start the personal discernment process.

It will be good to bear in mind that as ordinary weak human beings, the will of God comes to us through persons, events, and the whispers of God at the depth of our being. For the religious often the will of God is expressed through the directives of our superiors. Ignatius has shown that following the directives of the superiors (even when they sound unreasonable and ridiculous), maybe a surer way of following the will of God for me here and now! This however, may not be in consonance with what my personal discernment shows. Accepting it then makes me free from all the mental and physical tension I may go through for no use.

Sheethoshna Sukhadukheshu…

It was 3.45 p.m. As I stood at the corner of the street where I stayed, an electronic display board read the current temperature of the place : -3 Celsius. Earlier during breakfast, I was told that in the morning hours, the mercury dipped to -10, and in the Southern areas it further dipped to -16. As I dared to have a firsthand look at the city streets of Brussels, I was welcomed by a white carpet of snow, which had rained yesterday. I was a wonderful sight for the eyes, but not to the inhabitants for whom it was far from a beautiful sight. The consolation is that when it snowed, the temperature will not dip as low as it had done this time. So seeing the snow fall is better than seeing the mercury dip further and further. But then life has not come to a standstill. I can see through the window of my room, which stands beside the street, rows of cars beautifully draped with white sheets of snow. All that I can see is an aerial wire jutting out of the white sheet.

Nature knows how to dress up the earth, and beneath the beauty that she spreads, there stands a little thorn to remind us that we are not the masters of our situations all together. Nature holds the key to the wellbeing of humanity, and all our attempts to fight nature may ultimately prove to be a false dream, and we may be the greatest losers in the battle. While spending three fierce winters in Delhi some years ago, I had told my friends that I would not mind cold winters as against the scorching heat of summer. Our city had been fortunate not to hit the extremes; while the winter is moderate, the summer does not scorch us to the extreme altogether. But I would like to think of the people who are forced to get accustomed to extremities of nature, for no fault of their own. The worst of winter and summer is something we have very little control over; however our bodies are adept to adjust according to the surrounding conditions.

The title of this blog has been taken from chapter 9 of Bhagavad Gita, which talks about who is dear to the Lord: after saying that s/he is the one who is the same in happiness or sadness, in thought and in eagerness, in good and bad, in cold and in warmth, and in contempt and in praise. It is not that easy to remain the same in differing situations and circumstances. As human beings, we are pushed to prefer one to another, and that is ingrained in ourselves, and have very little that we can actually do. We cannot ask someone to remain dead to varying situations and it happens without much effort from our side. Then what does the Gita say about the indifference that we need to possess in order to become his dear. Is it at all possible?

What is difficult for us need not be utterly impossible, but often in life, we take it for granted that what is difficult is not desirable. We have also seen that what is difficult at the time of action is deemed one of the most important and enjoyable thing at the end of the action. Therefore it is obvious that we often go by the sensations and physical feelings, rather than entering into the true self of the personhood. What we considered at the enjoyable thing can turn out to be our nightmare. To keep ourselves abreast to what nature may offer us is an art in itself, and most of us are novices in this area. It is very few people who achieve this art. And the people who have managed to keep themselves not to be easily swayed by what the body may conceive as good or bad, are the people who enjoy the benefits and blessings of nature.

Today I present myself in the presence of God and look into myself to find the areas where I am already prejudiced as to persons, events, incidents, ideas, principles and opinions. The start point of my journey to reach true indifference that the Gita talks about is truly the recognition of the blocks my mind and body put before my spirit. Once I clear these, then I may be in a better position to receive whatever may come my way. To put it in a figurative way, for the person who is prepared to receive the blessings of nature or God, everything may be alike, cold or heat, pleasure or pain. I would like to enter into the great mystery which says that reality as it is in the true sense neutral, and it is the human mind which makes the difference. It is the colored glasses that I wear which can make me believe that one is better than the other, but in fact, one may be as good as the other. I would like to prepare my heart and mind to receive reality as it comes to me without putting any conditions! (Brussels)

Road to be Taken

[Initially conceived as a response to a mail, it is posted hoping it might help someone else too]. I feel you should not much worry about salary or about leave; ultimately what matters is you are able to do what is most required by your province, through your sister. But be open to what your Provincial may decide; in a sense you should be positively indifferent to both the options : to rejoin the school or to continue looking after prenovices. To worry about the leave or salary maybe missing the mark. After all, you have not joined to congregation to earn salary for the congregation.

It will be nice if you just leave the matter to your superiors; it is said that God speaks to us through our superiors (though I suspect it does not happen all the time!), and even if some of them have a bias towards one option rather than the other, leaving the decision to them makes us less anxious. What is most important is that I am not tilted towards one of the two options. If you are in favor of one of the options, and if that does not come through, then you are bound to be drowned in regret, angry with the superiors who made the decision, and ultimately half-hearted carrying out of the decision.

Ultimately I feel you can serve God through both the means, and you can be sure that both are valid means to that end for which you have been created, and joined the congregation. In the Spiritual Exercises, Ignatius of Loyola invites the exercitant to enter into the spirit of indifference to 'inordinate attachments' and he lists three illustrations : neither riches nor poverty, neither sickness nor health, neither short life nor long life, and tells that I am to choose the one which will better suit the end for which I am created. But that is not the end. He continues to exert the exercitant slowly though, to choose the tougher option of the two... to deliberately choose poverty, not only the spiritual poverty (indifferent to riches), but also to voluntarily choose privation.

It may be hard to find which is the tougher option in your case. But if you pause for a while and reflect for a while, you may be able to see for yourself which is the comparatively difficult thing for you to do of the two options. Your heart may be drawn towards one of the options, and there maybe a temptation to move towards it, and find more reasons to support your leaning towards it, even if it may not be the better option in the light of the need of your province or the greater common good. So, if you are able to find which of the two is the softer option, you can consciously and willingly distance yourself from it, and that may make you in a better mental and spiritual disposition to be open to what may better serve common good. About resigning the job, if you can better serve your congregation and people, why not? You should be happy to do it.

Today I pause for a while to spend a few minutes on the softer options that I am drawn to, and wish to become conscious of them. There is nothing wrong in liking one kind of job than another; I may like teaching in a school rather than looking after young girls and shaping their minds for a life-long journey. But it is important that I become aware of it, so that if I am asked to do the other job, which I may not like so much, I may give myself to do it whole heartedly. My happiness is not so much in doing what I very much like to do, but in carrying out the job that others may joyfully entrust to my care. And ultimately if I can give myself fully and unconditionally to the job I am assigned, I am sure to find God in it!