Sarayu said it

Are you wondering who this Sarayu is? If you think that this should be a God-forsaken person, then you may have to turn the pages of The Shack : Where tragedy confronts eternity, a novel by William P. Young. The #1 New York Times Bestseller had been quite popular with religious men and women and some months ago one of our great men had recommended this novel as a worthy Christmas gift to friends and well-wishers. Here in this novel, Sarayu is one of the three prominent characters, who confronts Mackenzie, the protagonist, who after confronting one of the worst tragedies of life, the loss of his favorite daughter Missy, confronts eternity in the three persons of the Holy Trinity. I would not venture to summarise the story in a few lines and do injustice to the narrative, which resembles in more than one sense the great classic, of John Bunyan, Pilgrim’s Progress.

It is long since I had discontinued the blog and I don’t even remember when I had blogged last, and quite a few friends had reminded me why I had not turned to blogs… was I running short of ideas? Or was I finding it hard to turn to the laptop at the end of the day to pour out the daily collection, before knocking the bed? It would be quite a futile job for me to find valid reasons for not blogging all these days, and I could give more than a dozen reasons why I should have. Be that as it may, the effect of turning the blogging may be one of the wonder works of Sarayu, the third person of the Holy Trinity, attributed to the Holy Spirit. Is she my latest lady love? For those who are scratching their heads, as to why I suddenly attribute feminine qualities to the Spirit, it is because of the Hebrew tradition, where the spirit is presented as the feminine aspects of God.

It is hard to say when the Spirit strikes us; I am aware for many a men, it is only the ‘s’pirit which would strike and knock them down at the end of the day, and seldom could they think of the Spirit to find them in their normal selves. And I am not in a place to say why I suddenly felt like turning back to blogging; there are several things in life, which are beyond all explanation, just like why we fall in love with certain persons and not some others (may be more beautiful and more qualified). That is where life finds meaning and fulfillment. But then let me turn my attention for a while to the novel, which let me caution, is not an easy reading, because of the fact that more than three fourth of the novel deal with Mack’s encounter with the Holy Trinity at the “shack”; this is what we could call Christian theology in a lay person’s perspective, and at times one might struggle to grasp what Young tries to articulate.

Life is quite complicated, and any attempt to unravel the mysteries of life might only lead to chaos and more complication. Young tries to articulate with genuine Christian faith, the reasons why there is evil in the world, and why God permits evil men and women thrive; these are the questions that each and every generation has been confronting, in their own way and in their own pace; not all of them had found satisfactory answers, but they were not altogether disappointed not finding answers to their questions, because what mattered in the process is not so much the destination, but the journey. That is why life on earth is often compared to a journey, and for religious Hindus, life is a pilgrimage (did not Bunyan referred to himself as a Pilgrim, and so did Ignatius of Loyola in the early 16th century called himself a pilgrim!), and everything that may take place during the journey is significant, though we may not heed to their importance but may have realize on hind sight that they had carried important signposts for our going ahead in life.

Young had tried to break the traditional understanding of God the Father, by placing before Mack, God the Papa in a feminine figure, and no wonder there is a preponderance of the feminine throughout the novel, and that is one of the reasons why Mack is all too full when he returns home from his weekend encounter with the sacred. What has been specially interesting for me, was the role of the eight-year old Missy, who from the start has such a lovely heart and demeanor that anyone would love her. There is a more than enough dosage of fantasy, with all the elements of the human world attributed to the divine; imagine the Holy Trinity having a hearty meal, sipping coffee; or just imagine Jesus in jeans and a T-shirt… or Papa listening to modern pop songs on her iPod… Young had presented the Trinity in a modern setup and that makes it all the more enjoyable reading. Now at least I know Sarayu could prick my mind anytime to turn to her, even if that means pouring myself out in the blogs!

Ignatian Insights 10: Desolation

Opposite of consolation is desolation, and is yet another important term developed by Inigo on the basis of his own spiritual experiences. The first time that Inigo mentions ‘desolation’ in the Spiritual Exercises is in No. 13, “to act against the desolation and overcome the temptations, the exercitant ought to remain always a little longer than the full hour…” But for an explanation of what he means by this term, we need to move to the Discernment of Spirits for Week I. After explaining consolation, Inigo explains desolation: “By this kind of desolation I mean everything which is the contrary of whatever described in the Third Rule; for example, obtuseness of soul, turmoil within it, an impulsive motion toward low and earthly things, or disgust from various agitations and temptations” (317:1-2).

This is a spiritual experience, which can be likened to the “dark night of the soul” of some of the saints of our times, such as St Theresa of Avila, St John of the Cross, and even Blessed Teresa of Kolkata. Here one experiences the lack of the evangelical virtues of hope, faith and charity, and one feels listless, tepid, unhappy and separated from God (317:3). If this is the painful moment one goes through, Inigo observes that the person should not make a change, but should remain firm and constant in the resolutions and decisions made before the desolation (318:1). There is yet another thing that we should do at the time of desolation: “by insisting on prayer, meditation, earnest self-examination, and some suitable way of doing penance” (319).

Though at the time of desolation we may feel quite low and feel the Lord has withdrawn his abundant fervour, love and grace, and yet he supplies his grace for our salvation. In other words, during this time, one may feel the absence of the Lord, but it is not the absence in reality, but merely a feeling of the absence of the Lord; that is to say, one’s inner eyes are blinded during this time, and one is not able to see the Lord. Therefore Inigo invites us to persevere in patience, and this way one may be able to counterattack against the vexations experienced. And one can be sure that soon consolation will return, and one may experience the nearness of God and the increase of hope, faith and charity (321).

In no. 322, Inigo presents three chief causes of desolation: first, we ourselves are tepid, lazy or negligent in our spiritual exercises and therefore consolation leaves; second, it is meant to test how much we will be able to align ourselves with God and his service even in the apparent absence of his presence, and third, to recognize and understand that all expressions of consolation, namely great devotion, intense love, tears are a gift and grace from God, and reminding us not to indulge in vainglory that we merited the spiritual consolation.

We could ask ourselves, what the notion of desolation reminds us of, and why it is important for us to be aware of this. First, every person who is seriously concerned about his/her spiritual well-being will be confronted by desolation at some time or other, and we should be prepared to face it when it comes. Second, Inigo presents some simple ways of responding to desolation, which may come handy to us. Third, Inigo reminds us that desolation is not the time to lose all hope of finding God, and the peace and tranquillity which flow from Him, but to remain steadfast and wait patiently for consolation. Fourth, he reminds us that often we ourselves may cause desolation, and therefore warns us not to give scope to them.

Ignatian Insights 9: Indifference

The English word ‘indifference’ perhaps does not adequately express what Inigo meant by the word, and therefore it demands an explanation. This principle is so central to Inigo’s understanding of the spiritual journey of a person, without perfecting this ‘indifference’, it would be impossible to excel in spiritual virtues. It is so central that Inigo introduces this notion already in the Principle and Foundation (no. 23) of the Spiritual Exercises. This is considered a basic attitude demanded of a person who sincerely seeks to achieve his own salvation and that of his neighbour.

Let us consider what Inigo means by ‘indifference’ in the Spiritual Exercises: “To attain this [goal for which I am created], it is necessary to make ourselves indifferent to all created things, in regard to everything which is left to our free will and is not forbidden” (23:5). George E. Ganss explains what Inigo implies by ‘indifference’ – “undetermined to one thing or option rather than another; impartial, unbiased; without decision suspended until the reasons for a wise choice are learned; still undecided”. This implies interior freedom from disordered affections. We would do great injustice to Inigo if we take this word to mean unconcerned about the issue, which is what the word may mean to an ordinary person.

Indifference as observed by Inigo is a noble and spiritual value, and is not easy to attain, unless we are able to free ourselves from the personal bias, prejudices and lopsided attachments. Only the people who are ready to start the spiritual journey from the starting point, without already having a ready-made route map will be able to choose the best means to reach the destination, and the best way which is sure to reach him. Any attempt to start the journey with a pre-conceived route map and the possible means, it would automatically exclude all other means some of which may be more expedient and favourable to reach the destination. But the problematic area is to free the mind and heart from any pre-fabricated route maps, and start from ground zero.

This notion of spiritual indifference, if we may call this so, is so very dear to other religious traditions too. In the Bhagavad Gita, while talking about the kind of people who are dear to Him, Lord Krishna tells his disciple Arjuna that those who are neither cold or hot, neither moved by joys or sorrows, those who are not affected by praise or accusations, such are the people who are dear to Him. In other words, those who are controlled by the human choices, which can be erroneous often, and those swayed by the movements of the mind, they would not be able to focus their attention on the Lord, or His words.

Inigo invites us to embark on our spiritual journey, without choosing the route map of our own making, the fruit of our own whims and fancies, and are invited to leave behind our extra sandals, tunic and purse, because these are the very things Jesus told his disciples to leave behind, when he sent them on their first missionary enterprise. It is only then that we will be able to feel the providential care of God, who alone knows best what we are in need of, and which means can best serve us. Indifference does not mean unconcernedness, but even moves close to the more difficult and challenging option, and if only we taste what this means in our spiritual life, we will begin to make it part of our spiritual costume to protect ourselves from onslaught by the world.

Ignatian Insights 8: Tantum Quantum

Several means may be employed in order to achieve a particular goal, and we may not rate the means equally. Some of the means may be superior to others, and some others easy and practical. If we are to be stuck by the means while assessing them, then we may miss the bus; our aim is to discern the most suitable means which will take us to the fulfillment of the goal. Here I cannot hold on to any of the means, but should strive to be "indifferent" to the available means. Connected to the notion of 'indifference' is the important idea of tantum quantum, which is one of the central themes of the Principle and Foundation of the Spiritual Exercises (no. 23). He insists that I should be prepared to accept only the means which would take me to the goal.

Human as we are, there are several biases, prejudices and pre-conceived notions which control the selection of the means to reach the goal. We may be attached to certain means, which, instead of taking us to the goal, may only distract and distance us. Here what is more important is the conviction as to what I really want. If I would like to have an experience of the forest, I should not be lost in the details of a particular tree. But if the means become my primary concern, then it is an indication I am not giving sufficient importance to the goal. I may come to know more about that particular tree, but may not know anything about the forest. Sri Ramkrishna used to say, there are as many ways as there are opinions.

It is only through an impartial adn even indifferent sifting and consideration of the means which can take me to the goal. It is only when I am prepared to take only the means which will take me to the end, that I will be focusing on the goal, instead of the means. The means cannot occupy my central focus, but the goal should. Here Inigo presents the golden rule of tantum quantum, meaning I should make use of the means only in as much as they take me to the goal I am aiming at. If they take me to the goal, I shall use them, and if they do not, then I shall not use them. However I should remember that all the means should be just adn rightful.

It is from this understanding that Inigo proceeds to state that I should be open to make use of whichever means that will help me, and therefore I shall not favour one to another. Therefore I shall seek one means to another, but keeping myself 'indifferent' to the means. It is possible that I might think a particular means may take me to the goal, but after some time I may realize that it was taking me another direction. Thus long life or short life, riches or poverty, sickness or health, we should be open to whichever means that is useful to us.

It may be difficult for us to choose the right means if we are not free from 'inordinate attachments', which may bind us. For instance, if I am attached to long life, I may revolt with God, when I am to glorify him thorugh my short life. Similarly if God invites me to bear witness to him through poverty, when I am attached to riches, I might struggle to stomach the challenge God may present to me. If only we begin to make use of this golden rule of Inigo, to select the means to rach a particular goal, then we will have more things to thank and praise God!

Ignatian Insights 7: Consolation

Inigo was in touch with what was happening to himself, from the time of his convalescence at the castle of Loyola, after he was wounded at the battle of Pompalona. He could recognize two kinds of movements as he dreamed of the lady of high position, whom he desired to marry, and as he reflected about the life of Christ and of saints. In his ‘autobiography’ he states that some thoughts left him dry, while some others left him happy and peaceful. He was already sifting the movements of his heart, and that would become the foundation of his understanding on the movements of the spirit. But for now we shall concentrate on his understanding on consolation, the movement of the spirit which led him to inner peace and joy.

He goes on to explain this concept when he deals with Discernment of Spirits for Week I. The way he had given the title for this chapter in the Spiritual Exercises is quite interesting. He writes, ‘Rules to aid us toward perceiving and then understanding at least to some extent, the various motions which are caused in the soul: the good motions that they may be received, and the bad that they may be rejected’. The numbers that deal with consolation are 316, 323-24. First let us understand what he means by consolation.

By this kind of consolation I mean that which occurs when some interior motion is caused within the soul through which it comes to be inflamed with love of its Creator and Lord. As a result it can love no created thing on the face of the earth in itself, but only in the Creator of them all (SpEx 316:1). It is important that we realize that consolation is an “interior motion” and therefore it cannot be associated with external experiences, and the result is the soul being inflamed with the love of God, leading to love him alone! It is a spiritual experience, which cannot be roused by ourselves. God is the origin of all consolation.

Inigo observes yet one more vital aspect to mean consolation : “every increase in hope, faith and charity, and every interior joy which calls and attracts one toward heavenly things and to the salvation of one’s soul, by bringing it tranquillity and peace in its Creator and Lord” (SpEx 316:4). Therefore when we experience an increase in the evangelical virtues of faith, hope and charity, we know that we are experiencing consolation, and the fruit of this experience will be evident in the interior joy, attraction towards heavenly things, tranquillity and peace. It is not that only spiritual persons experience consolation; at some time or other every one of us go through this kind of experience, though we may not realize that this is consolation.

Every consolation may lead us to desolation, and therefore while experiencing consolation, one should prepare to face desolation (SpEx 323), and one should conduct oneself humbly (324). It is a wonderful feeling to experience consolation, but one should not forget that there is no perpetual consolation; everyone has to go through dark nights of the soul, desolation in the terminology of Inigo. He goes on to show the origin of consolation: without a preceding cause (SpEx 330), by means of a preceding cause acting for the progress of the soul (SpEx 331). Therefore Inigo invites us to examine if the consolation actually proceeds from God, or if it actually comes from the evil one.

Ignatian Insights 6: Agere contra

In his times, Inigo should have been not only a popular, much-sought-after spiritual master, but also an expert psychologist, psycho-analyst, who paved the way for the future Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung. He was able to probe into the human mind and heart, and bring out the best in them. He was able to propose answers to some of the perennial problems seekers had been going through, especially in search of spiritual well-springs. One wonders how he was able to present the problems of the human mind and heart, and provide suitable solutions to counter them! It is obvious that Inigo began to observe his own self for a considerable amount of time, which resulted in his recommendations to tame the human mind and heart.

Since he knew how to tame and bring to full control the normal human tendencies, Inigo made use of simple tools to do this. Agere contra (in Latin, acting against) is one such tool, with which Inigo was able to bring an order or discipline in the life of a person. This notion is found in many of the works of the spiritual master, especially in his spiritual classic, the Spiritual Exercises. In the Introductory Explanations, no. 13, Inigo points out how agere contra could become a useful tool to defeat the enemy: “Hence, to act against the desolation and overcome the temptations, the exercitant ought to remain always a little longer than the full hour, and in this way become accustomed not merely to resist the enemy but even to defeat him”.

The same thing could also be applied to other spheres of one’s spiritual life, and the purpose of doing the opposite is to defeat the enemy, and not to give scope for falling. This is very much in tune with the new teachings of Jesus, as found in the Sermon on the Mount, showing our second cheek to someone who slaps us, and to give the tunic to the one who takes our cloak, and walk for two miles with the one who asks us to walk for a mile, though here the intention is to defeat the psychological victory of the person who imposes certain thing on us. This implies that we should be well-disposed to accept and even willingly embrace privation, humiliation, insults and ultimately to humble ourselves as our master was.

During the initial years of his new life, Inigo had studied the different tricks that the Satan had employed in him, and out of them he had drawn this practical implication. In his spiritual journal, popularly known as his autobiography, Inigo had narrated how he was tempted to keep his hair long and nails growing, because he wanted to be as close to the saints as possible, and as a sign of his penitent life, and after he realized that it was the temptation imposed on him by the evil one, he cut his hair and nail, and thus defeated the tricks of the enemy. Thus Inigo had found agere contra bringing a lot of spiritual fruit both in his personal life and in the life of those who practised it.

We shall find that the notion is very effective in the case of persons who would like to excel in their practice of spiritual virtues, so that they always go one step ahead of where they are left. They cannot afford to let the evil one take chance over them, and through a calculated move, the evil one had to be defeated, and the aspirant would deprive himself of the personal pleasure, comfort and other privileges. Agere contra could be practised only by persons who are well-disposed, and are generous enough not to count the personal loss or wounds inflicted by others. It is obvious then that this is meant for those who are good and virtuous, and wish to go ahead in coming closer to the Lord, and not meant for those who are struggling with their vices.

Ignatian Insights 5 : Salvation

Salvation had been one of the predominant themes at the time Inigo lived, and this notion had a deep impact on the man who had great dreams. The human salvation had been one of the preoccupations of Inigo throughout his life. When he was stuck by the cannon ball of the French army at the battle of Pampalona, he was least bothered about his salvation, leave alone of others. But as he was convalescing at the Loyola Castle, and reading the lives of Christ and of saints, he realized a need to ask himself what he was seeking in life, and that led him to a life-long quest, searching for ways of achieving his salvation and that of others.

The quest of personal salvation and that of others has been a major concern for Inigo, as he avowed to go on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem, after his health was restored at Loyola. This he put down at the Principle and Foundation in his little book, The Spiritual Exercises (no. 23). He had realized that the goal of human existence was to praise, reverence God and by doing this to achieve one’s own salvation, and that of others. The notions of vain glory, honor and pride, the three cardinal vices which Satan’s camp advocated, could only prevent him from achieving his salvation.

We may wonder why Inigo was preoccupied with this notion almost from the very beginning of his new life; though he had occasionally experienced the fear of the fires of hell for his past sins, his main reason for paying close attention to personal salvation was to find avenues where he would find lasting peace, joy and consolation. The day dreaming about vain glory and the noble lady whom he desired to marry, only left him high and dry. He realized Christ and the saints alone could open the gates of his personal salvation.

As soon as he embarked on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem, with no moneyand possessions, but fully trusting in the providence of God, he felt deep within an urge to share his spiritual insights with others. He engaged himself in spiritual conversation with people who were attracted to his piety and holiness. This was not an attempt on the part of Inigo to parade his spiritual insights, but he was keenly interested in influencing others to come back to the Lord and find their own salvation in him. He felt he could positively influence others who were inclined to his sharing, and thus drew them closer to God. He was not always successful in bringing people back to God, but he made sincere attempts to help others find their own salvation.

It would be quite irrelevant to ask ourselves if Inigo was successful in achieving the salvation of himself and that of others. He realized that after his conversion he was a changed man, who was committed to the Lord, and he could never think of getting back to his earlier times of chivalry or royal service. The fact that he had several significant spiritual experiences, especially at river Cardoner, at St Paul outside Rome, we know that he was placed with Christ carrying his Cross, as a true son and servant of God. Inigo wished to remind us that part of our salvation also depends on the salvation of others we are living with. And herein lies yet another unique contribution of Ignatius of Loyola.

Ignatian Insights 4 : Heart

Inigo from the moment of his conversion at the age of 21 comes across to us as a man of the heart, whose life-long journey in spirit has been prompted and propelled by the heart. He gave more importance to how human heart was able to put us in close touch with our spirit, than our head can possibly do. He did not disregard the important and vital role rationality played in the life of persons, but he was quite conscious more often it was the heart which could open the gates to God, if one was alert and prompt to the indications of the heart.

It is evident from the journey of Inigo – from Loyola Castle to Rome, to occupy the upper room which became his office – spanning some 40 years, that he was constantly in touch with what was happening to himself, and he tried to take snapshots of his heart constantly, especially the examination of consciousness twice daily. It is not a mental exercise, but a review of the past hours to find the footprints of God in our hearts. Those who fail to recognize God’s footprints are sure to blame him for his absence. Inigo’s heart was constantly raising itself to God, who alone resided at the core of its being, and nourished Inigo all through.

The priority that Inigo gave to the human heart is also evident from the fact that Inigo wanted the exercitants of the Spiritual Exercises to go through contemplations, which would help them to be in touch with their hearts. The fifth prayer hour of each day of the 30 days spiritual experience was devoted to the Application of the Senses, which again made the exercitant to be alert to the movements of his body. He was quite convinced that it was only through the five senses of the body that we could get in touch with the heart.

It was the preponderance with the heart that made Inigo to observe in the Constitutions of the Society of Jesus that it would not be the letter of law, but the spirit of love/charity, which would be the guiding principle. And he did mean by this. No wonder then that Inigo was often moved to tears when he contemplated divine mysteries, or when he participated at the Eucharistic celebrations, or when he gazed at the sky at night. He was animated by the heart, which is traditionally understood as the seat of love and all affective influences.

Inigo felt that it was God who was the master of us all, and who alone should have direct access to our souls. For this reason, he instructed those giving the Spiritual Exercises not to get between God and the exercitant. The modern world is vary of anything to do with the heart, because it holds that heart is prone to errors and therefore more emphasis had been given to reason and objectivity. It is in this light that the importance Inigo gave to the human heart is both important and significant.

Ignatian Insights 3 : Magis

If there is one very special characteristic, among many, which distinguished Ignatius of Loyola was his insatiable optimism and an inner drive which propelled him to pierce through status quo, to find pastures untrodden. He would not tolerate the good people, he would push them to better people; it is no point in being just good, he might have been telling his companions, they should become better people, after their encounter with the Lord, and that is how they would be able to show their love for the one who called them out of their stagnancy. This had made a lot of difference in the men he formed and sent on a mission.

If we skim through the writings of Ignatius, it would become obvious that he was fond of the comparative degree. Look at the Principle and Foundation of the Spiritual Exercises (23:7), where he already lays emphasis on this comparative ‘more’ : “Rather, we ought to desire and choose only that which is more conducive to the end for which we are created”. This ‘more’ has become one of the characteristic features of the Jesuit mission, where they would not be satisfied with the way things are going, but be always on the look out for doing things in a better way.

In the Kingdom of Christ meditation (91-100) of the Spiritual Exercises, Ignatius again employs this principle of ‘more’ to encourage the exercitant to greater generosity. This is what he observes in the Third Point of the Second Part (97): “Those who desire to show greater devotion and to distinguish themselves in total service to their eternal King and universal Lord, will not only offer their persons for the labour, but go further still.” This shows that Ignatius was not the one who entertained a mediocre, the complacent, but was prepared to push people as far as they could move, without coercing obviously into their personal freedom.

This had become the rallying point for Ignatius in the Spiritual Exercises. In the Second Week, on the very first Contemplation on the Incarnation, he invites the exercitant to ask for the grace (104) : “Here it will be to ask for an interior knowledge of Our Lord, who became human for me, that I may love him more intensely and follow him more closely.” He takes for granted that the exercitant is well disposed towards the Lord and doing his will, but he is also aware that he has to do something more as a proof of his love for the Lord, who became a human person for the sake of the fallen humanity. This ‘more’ obviously is open-ended, and even at the time of our death, we will still be searching for this ‘more’.

It was the insatiable thirst of the human persons which was responsible for the advancement of science and technology; Ignatius wishes us to explore the spiritual world with this notion of ‘magis’, as is so very evident in the motto of the Society of Jesus, which contains the trademark of Ignatius, Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam – For the Greater Glory of God! If everyone sought the glory of God, Ignatius wanted his sons to aim for the greater glory of God, thus going beyond the ordinary. Ignatius was a visionary, a dreamer, whose eyes were fixed on greater things, and that accounts for the many wonderful things that his sons are able to do here and now!

Ignatian Insights 2 : Exercises

The spiritual master Ignatius of Loyola begins his handbook for retreat directors called the Spiritual Exercises with an introductory note, explaining the word ‘spiritual exercises’: “By the term Spiritual Exercises we mean every method of examination fo conscience, meditation, contemplation, vocal or mental prayer and other spiritual activities, …” (SpEx 1:2). To look at the spiritual activities as ‘exercises’ was a novel idea that Ignatius introduced in the spiritual sphere. One would not think of the term used in the spiritual sphere, because we would like to take it for granted that the matters relating to our spiritual life is determined by God.

Ignatius further explains the word ‘exercise’ : “For, just as taking a walk, traveling on foot, and running are physical exercises, so is the name spiritual exercises given to any means of preparing and disposing our soul to rid itself of all its disordered affections and then, after their removal, of seeking and finding God’s will in the ordering of our life for the salvation of our soul” (SpEx 1:3-4). Ignatius summarises the whole book in this one sentence, and gives the gist in a nutshell, but in order to understand what he really means by the spiritual exercises, we will have to dissect this sentence and cull out the salient features.

First of all, just as our bodies require exercises to keep them fit, so also our spirits require exercises to keep them ablaze with love and happiness. Thus this exercises demand something from us, which will contribute to the overall wellbeing of our selves. However these are not the kind of exercises which put a strain on the body or the soul, but are simple tools to look at what we are, who we are, and how our existence on earth is related to others and to God… We shall constantly move from ourselves to our neighbours and ultimately to God. It is only through these kind of exercises that we will be able to bring peace and harmony within the soul.

Secondly, anyone who thinks that s/he will be able to come closer to himself/herself, to nature, to neighbours and to God would be only cheating, because it is only through a disciplined life that we can reach out to others. This implies that the exercises need to be done constantly, and not once in a while; therefore certain amount of regularity in the exercises is desirable, and if not the prayers or other pieties, one is recommended to do at least the examination of consciousness twice a day, since that is the review of life for that day, which will tell us where we are going.

Thirdly, it would be arrogant on our part to think that only the exercises recommended by Ignatius of Loyola can really take us to our inner selves, to our neighbours and to God; there are several ways to achieve this goal, and all the ways maybe equally good. It does not much matter which way we are choosing, provided we are sure to reach the goal without much difficulty. Contemplating the life of Christ can give us the much needed inner boost and strength to face the world courageously, but we can as well reach God through Yoga, especially karma yoga and bhakti yoga. We need to discern which way will take us to God in a surer way, that is where Ignatius begins his exercises.

Ignatian Insights 1 : Attachments

It was a beautiful realization to think that the most precious things in life are hard-earned; I can think of the most precious things in life, be it things or persons or even notions, and each one of them would tell a fascinating story. The paradox is that these hard-earned things and persons are so dear to us that parting with them becomes an ordeal, and invariably at several moments in life we are called to “sacrifice” them for a greater good, even if that is only in the level of concept and notion, and not a reality altogether. Sometimes our hands and feet are tied, and we are left with no other option than give them up, and it is painful to let them go.

Another sweet-n-sour realization is that there is further joy in letting something I had kept close to my heart for years to go; the initial pain would linger in my heart for quite a while, and it may take away my sleep, but I know at the end I had the generosity to let this thing go, or let this person walk out of my life freely. One of the greatest maladies of this age is excessive attachment to things and persons, and that causes much of the misery, pain and suffering. Those who are able to give up hard-earned things and persons, enjoy greater peace and happiness in life, and I have seen this in the life of some of the people I had lived with.

Ignatius of Loyola was not only a great spiritual master, who taught us the language of learning about the heart, but also taught us some of the most wonderful psychological insights which had taken several centuries to really form and become theories. He was quite clear when he held that we cannot arrive at an impartial decision, unless we begin clearing ourselves from all forms of inordinate attachments. For those who are tied to attachments and yet wish to move forward, Ignatius has given them a way of getting out of this web : agere contra (to act against) is one way, to desire and pray for the contrary to what I am attached to.

We can hardly think of attachment as something which can have negative effect on us; we take it for granted that our “security” is in having people close to us, things which can give us the kind of pleasure that we see. It might take us some guts to realize that the very things and persons we think as giving us security may become obstacles in realizing the “freedom” of God’s children. It is wrong to think that all things and persons we are attached to may prevent us from realizing our inner freedom to move with the Spirit, where she wills, but the word we need to underline is “inordinate” or “disorderly”, which can stifle our freedom and spontaneity.

But is it ever possible to live a life without being attached to things, persons and ideas? Humanly speaking it is impossible; but we need not worry about all kinds of attachments; there are attachments which may free us to greater things. For instance attachment to certain values can take us a long way in being witness to the Kingdom; but when these attachments become obsessions, we may be treading on a tight rope, and the danger of falling from grace is more. The best way to check our attachments is this : If I am able to give it up without feeling bad or sad, then I am safe; the attachments which bind me and delimit my freedom, may cause more harm to me than good.

Man of Different Mettle

Dear Father Ignatius, I am not patient enough to count how many years ago you had left this beautiful world, but I can only say that it was more than 450 years ago, but your memory is still fresh in my mind. Because there is something in me which I can proudly claim to be Ignatian (see how easily you have become a type, like Aristotelian, Hegelian, Marxian…), and the world around me is only happy to see me as belonging to your ‘type’. Sometimes people do frown at me, because there is a trace of idiosyncrasy, and who today is not idiosyncratic, tell me?

But jokes apart, after going through 16 years of training (the world outside calls it grilling, drilling and brain-washing), I could not help become quite similar to you to a certain extent. But I wish I were more like you, so that I can have the fire to enflame everyone I come in touch with. The world today is too lazy, complacent, too nervous to take risk, and too calculative in its moves, too frightened to dream big, too comfortable in their little ghettoes. The world today needs more men who can fight and yet not heed the wounds.

When I first heard how you left the comfort of your cozy life in the palace, the dreamgirl you could have possibly won, after that wretched setting of the knee bones without local anasthesea, I was quite alarmed. How you dared to leave all, and don the sack-clothes of a mendicant! No, it is not possible for me to do the same today; your world was quite different, and in today’s world, I need to count each of my steps, or else I may be down in the gutters.

You had no shame! Thank God for it, you were able to sit in the company of small children and study, and slowly move to heights to even complete your MA in the prestigious University of Paris. You had experienced what a prison life is, having yourself stayed there twice, for the mistakes you did not commit. We are too self-conscious, and safeguard our sanctity as if our lives depend on it. If we are able to drop all shame and dare to walk before God , there can be no better security than this.

I marvel your indomitable courage to even rise up against the mighty empires, kings and popes. And strangely no one ever dared to oppose you, because they all knew you were a man made of a different mettle, and they cannot compete with you. The guts you had made men and women of your times to tremble, and the God you believed in had blessed you with a spirit which cared for no human appreciations and applause. I take my hats off to you, Father Ignatius. If only people can see in me the Lord you so lovingly served all your life, I need no better blessing on your feast day.

Lame to Game

What can a lame former knight of the fifteenth century offer to the modern management, group dynamics, spirituality and psychiatry of the twenty-first century? One might wonder, if I was only kidding. It is next to impossible for such a person to have any trace of memory in modern minds, were he not someone who has etched his name in the annals of history. But it would be interesting to note what his contributions to the modern world are, before reckoning him with laurels.

This dreamer, who had far too great ambitions to win the whole world, had formed a band of men, who today number about 18,000, spread around the world, involved in anything that a human mind can imagine, and his successors are even today looked upon as the ‘black pope’; if there is any group of men that the hierarchical Church would lean on at the time of any major crisis, it is these men, ever ready to give even their life to save the Vicar of Christ and the Church militant.

Church militant? He was a knight, and so he could think of the Church and the Society only in military terms; was he not the first Superior General to head the band of men, who called themselves the Society of Jesus? His Spiritual Exercises today is considered a great spiritual classic, and men and women who long to have an experience of God in the midst of all the hussle and bussle take this small book, and get themselves lost in the forest of love and God’s compassion.

If the company that he founded along with nine other companions were to survive five centuries, it is no mean thing. He had a method of forming his men that even management curricula will fall short; men who were not even above average, became firebrand missionaries, teachers, social workers, thinkers, writers, researchers, and inventors. What ignited these men that they are able to surpass all human expectations and calculations? What is the magic behind these men?

Ignatius of Loyola was too short in height in comparison to the six feet men and women; he seemed to have looked quite handsome in his younger days, but that was not the case in his older days; he clothed with rags, and lived such a miserable life in the heart of Rome, bearing all privation happily, but pouring all his efforts in forming his men, giving them council, writing letters to them (already in a matter of about 10 years, he seemed to have written over 3000 letters). His legacy lives on, in the men ready to fight any battle, be it moral, social, religious, economic; name it and they are ready to fight. If one lame had surrendered his sword at the foot of Mother Mary, today 18,000 men are ready to fight, not with swords of steel, but with swords of faith in God and humanity, trust in the age old wisdom of their founder, confidence in the five century old tradition… If one were to claim that Ignatius has not given to the world anything positive, that would be the greatest lie ever!

Personal Discernment

I propose the following simple process of personal discernment, basing on the method proposed by Ignatius of Loyola. Take about half a day to be by yourself to enter into a deeper communion with God, to discern what he wants of you. It will be better to go to a quiet place, where you can be by yourself, where there will not be anyone to disturb you.

Place yourself in the presence of God, and seek his Holy Spirit to come upon you, and open your heart and mind to know his most holy will for you, and a receptive heart that will cling on to whatever He might reveal to you. Seek the assistance of our Lady too to help you in your search.

Take a sheet of paper and put down all the reasons why you should take up the new appointment in the new place. Put down all the reasons, both subjective and objective. For example, the people there are in need of help; there are too few members of the congregation in number; with earlier experience in social work, you can help them coordinate the works better, etc. Take enough time to do this; don't be in a hurry. Think of all possible reasons; make as much as possible an exhaustive list. Take about one hour to do this.

Now hold this paper in your hands, and spend about fifteen minutes in prayer before the Lord; in your mind go through the points you have written. Listen to the whispers of the Spirit; what is the Lord telling you here and now. Don’t be analytical or rational, but let your heart vibrate with the points you have sincerely put down.

Take another sheet of paper, and now write down all the reasons why you should accept the assignment, but continue with your present ministry. Remember, by this time, you are not too attached to remaining in the same place, you should have reached indifference. Don't think about what you would do here in the future; that is secondary. The main issue is to accept the new assignment or not. Stay with that. Make an exhaustive list of the reasons why you should not go there; such as, you feel you can serve the Lord better by teaching; you feel confident the Lord is calling you to be a here, etc. Spend about an hour to do this exercise.

Again hold the paper in your hands, and spend about fifteen minutes before the Lord, considering all the points you have put as against the new assignment. Listen to what the Lord is telling you; listen to his whispers. Be attentive to his voice speaking at the depth of your being.

Now place both the papers in front of you, and have a good look at them; weigh both of them; note which one weighs more. Which paper has more substantial reasons; don't be biased, but honestly and objectively see where you find weighty reasons. It may not be very difficult to find out which paper weighs more. After having a look at both the papers together, close your eyes, and seek the Spirit's assistance and guidance to make a right choice. Which of the two is more pleasing to the Lord? At the end of about fifteen to thirty minutes, you would be able to tell for yourself this is the option the Lord is showing to me. End the personal discernment with a thanksgiving prayer to the Lord, to his Spirit and to our Lady, and seeking the Father’s blessings to confirm your decision.

When ways part

It may be important to realise that when we join a religious congregation we keep ourselves fully at the disposal of the congregation to do what is most in need of; the need of the congregation is the area I have to prepare myself to fulfill. There are chances that what the congregation might want of me will be quite different from my personal likes and desires. I personally feel that the need of the congregation has to take precedence over the personal interest. That is why when some of our fathers complain that they were prepared for school and are asked to go to a parish, we tell them that it is the special charism of the Society to go where there is need.

It is my experience, when we happily accept the need of the congregation as our personal priority, then there are chances that our ministry will be fruitful, and life joyful, or if you want a business term, successful. Otherwise life will always be a burden, because the work we do does not emerge from our heart, but from a compulsion of the superiors. We cannot always expect to get the appointments we personally like. It may be good to ask ourselves this simple question : Have I joined this congregation to do what I like, or to do what God wants of me?

But how do I know what God wants of me, how do I discern the will of God for me here and now? It will be good to go through a process of personal discernment before responding to the request of your superiors. In order to really discern God's will for me, I have to arrive at true indifference; this means I should be prepared happily either to take up the new assignment or not, whichever will be more pleasing to the Lord. It may not be impossible to arrive at such a mental disposition, if one earnestly desires it.

If I am more inclined towards one option, I should pray that I may choose the other, the one which my heart is not prepared to consider at this moment of time. Ignatius would call this 'agere contra' (to act against) the natural inclination of the heart. In your case, if you are not in favor of accepting the new assignment, you should pray to God that you may have a desire to accept it joyfully. If you reach such a stage, and are indifferent to both the choices, then you can start the personal discernment process.

It will be good to bear in mind that as ordinary weak human beings, the will of God comes to us through persons, events, and the whispers of God at the depth of our being. For the religious often the will of God is expressed through the directives of our superiors. Ignatius has shown that following the directives of the superiors (even when they sound unreasonable and ridiculous), maybe a surer way of following the will of God for me here and now! This however, may not be in consonance with what my personal discernment shows. Accepting it then makes me free from all the mental and physical tension I may go through for no use.

Touch of the Sacred

One of the most absorbing moments while sitting at the room of St Ignatius of Loyola in the heart of Rome, beside the towering Il Iesu church, was that sanctity was all around me. Beside me, over me, before me and after me, and I was shrouded by an aura of holiness that I felt utterly unworthy to stand in that place. Sactity and holiness never die, but they envelope everyone who comes in contact with them, knowingly or unknowingly. I remember the accounts of the earliest encounters of Swami Vivekananda with Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa. There was something so very special in Ramakrishna that Narendra, as Vivekananda was called before he became the disciple of Ramakrishna, could not resist himself. I would not dare say that mine was such an experience, but I was quite moved at the simplicity, and even the wretchedness of the saint, who but had things which were all too simple and beggarly.

The pair of sandals and the cope that St Ignatius used were on display, and looking at them I felt terribly ashamed of having the best of things, while the saint had things worse than that of beggars. One thing was evident that saints transcend the material world, and live in an altogether different world; the worldly matters do not much matter to them, and that is the true mark of sanctity. What to eat, what to dress, and how to present themselves to the world around – these are not their concerns. A distancing from the world makes them closer to the other world; even as they lived in this world, their hearts were in a different world; they were truly like the lotus leaves, which are not affected by the rain drops; the water splashes and flow across. But we live in a world where each one is called to be alike a sponge, which would attract the water drops that may fall on them, and our world slowly becomes heavier and heavier, until we feel it is too heavy for us to carry on.

Visit to the room of St Ignatius has another surprise for me. We sat around the room the celebrate the Eucharist, we about 23 of us were huddled in the small room, and had a simple Eucharistic celebration. Before the mass, our guide had informed us that it was in that very room that St Ignatius has breathed his last, though his room was next to the one where we had the mass. Before his death he seemed to have moved to this room, and in a corner of the room, he died. After the mass, one of the Sisters of our group who had earlier visited the place, came to me, and moved the chair I was sitting on, and lo and behold, there was a small marble slab which said that St Ignatius had died at that very place. The sister said, See, the faithful son sitting on his father! And I retorted, it is truly a privilege for the son to sit on the lap of his father!

During the mass I prayed that while getting in touch with an aura of sanctity and holiness all around us, sanctified by several holy men and women of down the centuries, we may be able to carry a little bit of that sanctity to our worlds. There is also evil equally all around, and we can never be spared from their influence, but if we are surrounded by the aura of sanctity through coming in touch with the presence of several holy men and women, we can be safe, even when living in a world that is corrupt and evil. A lotus can retain her beauty and splendor even in the midst of the dirty and ugly looking slush, and will not allow the slush tarnish her beauty. That is the role of every holy men and women of our age, they help us strike a balance, so that the evil in the world may not over take our lives, and bring an end to all that is good and sacred.

Today I would like to pause for a while as I bow my head with respect and reverence to all the holy men and women who had touched my heart during the day, as I walked along the streets they had walked centuries ago, the very places they had sanctified by their presence, while alive and in death. I would like to be touched by the high voltage of their sanctity so that my body and spirit may get attuned to their sanctity and holiness that I may keep myself at a safe distance from the world that can only think of the passing glory and honor and riches. All saintly men and women had fixed their eyes on higher values and nobler riches, and I too wish to aspire for such high and noble values and riches. Sainthood is a free gift from God, and not many of us are really worthy of beholding the glory, but I would only wish to be touched by the sanctity of these holy men and women, so that I may radiate a spark of that holiness. (Rome)

Road to be Taken

[Initially conceived as a response to a mail, it is posted hoping it might help someone else too]. I feel you should not much worry about salary or about leave; ultimately what matters is you are able to do what is most required by your province, through your sister. But be open to what your Provincial may decide; in a sense you should be positively indifferent to both the options : to rejoin the school or to continue looking after prenovices. To worry about the leave or salary maybe missing the mark. After all, you have not joined to congregation to earn salary for the congregation.

It will be nice if you just leave the matter to your superiors; it is said that God speaks to us through our superiors (though I suspect it does not happen all the time!), and even if some of them have a bias towards one option rather than the other, leaving the decision to them makes us less anxious. What is most important is that I am not tilted towards one of the two options. If you are in favor of one of the options, and if that does not come through, then you are bound to be drowned in regret, angry with the superiors who made the decision, and ultimately half-hearted carrying out of the decision.

Ultimately I feel you can serve God through both the means, and you can be sure that both are valid means to that end for which you have been created, and joined the congregation. In the Spiritual Exercises, Ignatius of Loyola invites the exercitant to enter into the spirit of indifference to 'inordinate attachments' and he lists three illustrations : neither riches nor poverty, neither sickness nor health, neither short life nor long life, and tells that I am to choose the one which will better suit the end for which I am created. But that is not the end. He continues to exert the exercitant slowly though, to choose the tougher option of the two... to deliberately choose poverty, not only the spiritual poverty (indifferent to riches), but also to voluntarily choose privation.

It may be hard to find which is the tougher option in your case. But if you pause for a while and reflect for a while, you may be able to see for yourself which is the comparatively difficult thing for you to do of the two options. Your heart may be drawn towards one of the options, and there maybe a temptation to move towards it, and find more reasons to support your leaning towards it, even if it may not be the better option in the light of the need of your province or the greater common good. So, if you are able to find which of the two is the softer option, you can consciously and willingly distance yourself from it, and that may make you in a better mental and spiritual disposition to be open to what may better serve common good. About resigning the job, if you can better serve your congregation and people, why not? You should be happy to do it.

Today I pause for a while to spend a few minutes on the softer options that I am drawn to, and wish to become conscious of them. There is nothing wrong in liking one kind of job than another; I may like teaching in a school rather than looking after young girls and shaping their minds for a life-long journey. But it is important that I become aware of it, so that if I am asked to do the other job, which I may not like so much, I may give myself to do it whole heartedly. My happiness is not so much in doing what I very much like to do, but in carrying out the job that others may joyfully entrust to my care. And ultimately if I can give myself fully and unconditionally to the job I am assigned, I am sure to find God in it!

Thank you...

Sharing has always been associated with a sign of love in action; the world around is the gift of God to the humanity that He/She loved so much. St Ignatius of Loyola in his famous Contemplation to Attain Love in the Spiritual Exercises, opens the contemplation with the words that Love expresses itself in action, and the world is God's great gift. But how often we forget that every thing we enjoy on earth is the gift of some one or other. The clothes I wear, the wrist watch I wear, the shampoor I bathe with, the cream I apply, the shoes I wear, the foot I eat... every thing. There is no exception to this.

Have I ever thought of this? This sharing of the things I take for granted each day, does not happen automatically, as if they were meant to be so. I so take it for granted that every time when I open the tap, water will flow. But one day if the porter had failed to put on the water pump, then my world crumbles... I feel the pinch. I take it for granted that every time when I go to the dining table, there will be enough for me to eat. But what if one day it does not happen so?

I dare not think of a day when I get up one fine morning and find that there is no Sun... or a night without moon and stars. Is it not so very natural for us human beings to take things for granted. Even our very existence. Today I would like to pause for a moment and think of all the people who have crisscrossed my path today, who had made my day, all those who made me take the day for granted... the bakers who unfailingly bake the bread without fail, the farmers who cultivate the vegetables I eat, the corporation who provide water, the technicians who make sure we have uninterrupted power supply, telephonic connection, my parents who provide all I need... The list will be endless, as you imagine each and every one of them.

Can I possibly do anything in return for them? Most of these people are faceless and nameless ones. They may not even want to be identified and thanked. But today I wish to think of each of them and whisper deep in my heart... Thank you baker for the sweet bread you offer each morning, thank you shopkeepers for providing the provision I need each day, thank you farmers for the vegetables, thank you washermen and women for the clothes you wash and press, thank you Municipal corporation employees for providing all amenities, thank you papa and mama for the food and drink, thank you friends for the company...

Thank you God for this wonderful life that I enjoy each day, for the sun and moon, the light and shadow, the flowers of the trees and the birds of the sky, the blue sky and the dense thickets... The world is charged with your grandeur O God, I thank you from my heart.