Of Undue Demands

One of our senior fathers had asked me for a favor, to do the layout design for one of the books he had edited, and I had gladly accepted to do it for him; it took me quite some time to get the things organized for the book with bi-lingual texts and photos inserted at appropriate places. It was not easy working on the project, because the senior father, with all due respect to him, did not know the difference between a good and a bad photo; he had given me a thumbnail photo and asked me to make it as large as half of a normal book page, which would be an impossible task for any one, because the quality of the photo was good enough to print as a stamp size and not any larger. Making him understand the nuances of photographs and design was not easy, and he had his typical old-age syndrome of asking for all queer kind of design aspects, which I found quite unreasonable. A few days ago, I stayed awake till late in the night to get a print out of the book, and after three days, I get a long list of corrections to be made, and this time not minor corrections, but almost redoing the entire layout, which I found was asking for too much.

>p>I was wondering if this man was taking me for granted, that I had all the time required to do all that he wanted, without caring if I would be able to do them or not. At his age, he does not have any job, and yet he spends quite many hours in front of the computer, but given my responsibilities, I have so many things to look after, plan and execute. I would have spent already at least 40 to 50 hours, making all minute changes, changes in the layout and formatting, and what he asks of me at this juncture would take me at least another 10 hours, and therefore I had written to him if he could find someone else to do all the corrections he had asked for. I was a bit annoyed by his long list of corrections (many of which is sure to disturb the page numbering and spacing), as if he had not foreseen, and some others which were sure to disturb the uniformity of design.

Due to this exchange of emails, I was a bit disturbed during the day. I am aware sometimes people try to take me for granted, and I should make this note that anyone who loves and cares for me would not dare do that, because they would take me seriously, and there is no question of taking me for granted, or for a royal ride. Sometimes it happens these are the very people who may not even have the courtesy to say thanks when a big work is done for them, and the next time, I would hesitate to do anything for them. Just because they are foreigners (and I have my own understanding of being a foreigner, which I shall explore in a different blog), they have the special privileges and concessions given them from all corners. No doubt, they had done wonderful work in their younger days, but when they are old, they should have the courtesy and humility to resume a subdued life, and these are the people who would like to hold on to their forts despite their age and mental conditions.

During the past week, another friend of mine had approached me to design a card for the memorial of the death of his relatives. It had taken me some time to sit with him and do the designing, and he was so happy to get it done (one reason for his happiness being, I do not charge him at all for the designing and I managed to provide him with the kind of pictures and designs which he liked). I did not mind doing this for him, and after two days he called me up to ask if I could do another design for another of his friends, and I spent a couple of hours to do it for him too. I know this friend appreciates my work, and relies on me. I have the freedom to tell him what would be better and artistically elegant, and therefore I do not mind when he suggests me something in the design. I very much like to make use of my talents for others, and I do not much mind if they are grateful to me for the favors or not, but when they start demanding things which are asking for too much, then I find it hard to accept their demands.

I have realized that when a work is done out of love, the quality of the work would be far more superior to the work done out of some kind of compulsion or pressure. And it does not take too long for a work to turn from love to compulsion, if care is not taken. Ordering or demanding from persons who are only doing a favor could only lead to disappointment and qualitatively inferior work done. I felt it would not be good for me to continue the work for him under pressure, especially doing things which I feel (as a layout designer) would only disturb the design’s uniformity, which he may not understand or appreciate, but this is one thing I felt sure that if he wants to have things his way, then I should not allow myself to be controlled by him, and that is what I had communicated to him, and I am yet not sure if he would find another person to continue the work, or try to see my point of view about some of his unreasonable and unartistic demands.

Price of Peer Pressure

Some days ago my sister called me to say that she had a bad news for me; she said that she had quit her job and was sitting idle at home. Hers was a temporary job, and she was paid a daily wage, as is the custom with many of the medium sized and small nursing homes, who do not want to get into commitment with their nurses, and this is the third nursing home that my sister was working at. Since there are so many young girls looking for a job, the homes take it as advantage, to reduce their wages as low as possible. So apparently there was a stir among the nurses of this particular nursing home, and they demanded from the administration a higher wage for their duties. When the administration refused to give heed to their appeal, all the nurses resigned en masse.

There was peer-pressure, and it is hard to fight against peer-pressure in such a situation, since all of them help each other during their respective duties and exchange duty hours according to their conveniences. But at the other end of the spectrum is the loss of job. My sister would not demand a higher wage, she is not that courageous, but one or two of the courageous nurses might have coerced the others too to resign, and my sister was helpless, and was forced to tender resignation. Her friends are not going to help her get a better job, with better working hours, and a better wage. That may be none of their business, but ultimately who suffers. Peer-pressure is such a thing, where one is placed like a cat on the wall, standing between devil and deep sea.

Given the situation at home, my sister was badly in need of a job to make both ends meet, and sitting idly at home is not something she would like. There was a tone of sadness even as she narrated to me that she was waiting for a call from some other nursing home where she had applied. It is not easy to sit in the house doing nothing very substantial. One may even feel bored and wasting away, and that was what was happening to my sister, and all that I could encourage was to call up the very nursing home where she had resigned the job and check if they cared to take her back. She was not keen on doing that, because in that case she might lose her credibility and face. However she said she was ready to accept the offer if they called her back.

Going with a group has its advantages, especially if there are persons in the group who really care for me, and would support me come what may; but it also has its gray areas. It is a very delicate issue and there are chances for one to be wrong whatever he/she does. But it would be wrong to go with the group all the times, because one or two members of the group may divert the interests of the group and make use of it for their own benefit. The ultimate question that one must ask is this : does my flowing with the group going to help me now or later? If the answer is in the negative, then probably I should reconsider my following the dictates of the group. My conscience may be the better judge some times, and I should listen to it as and when I feel that way.

It is hard to stand by one’s conviction and resist the pressures of a group, especially if the group pressure could force one to give up personal convictions. But this is not impossible; what one may require is great amount of guts and courage to stand by personal convictions. It might have been alright if my sister had stood against the pressure of the group to resign, and resumed her job as usual. She might have to bear the dire consequences, but that could win the appreciation of the administration for her, not so much because she stayed back to work for them, but also because she had the courage to stand against group pressure. Sometimes it is worthwhile to stand by one’s convictions and resist the temptation of flowing with the group.