Mowed by Machines

There are many people around us, who are used to taking others for granted. The situation may be worse if these people are holding some leadership roles. One of my friends had been taken for such royal ride by one of her superiors that there was very little that my friend could do; when the friend had gathered some courage to talk to the superior about how she felt being taken for a royal ride, the superior tried to pour out a bag full of reasons why she had to do that. Justifications, rationalizations and explanations, these are the tools of the trade with the people who wish to take people for granted, in order to impose their own authority felt among the subordinates.

There is a limit for everything, and the hoi poloi would not mind being taken for granted to a certain extent, but if they are to be considered the non-existent, then there is bound to be a revolt and unhappiness. Such a situation is sure to create uneasy feelings among friends, among superiors and their subordinates, between family members. Generally it is observed that it is only the people who feel they enjoy certain special privileges, that make sure they have to show off their powers which flow from the privileges. In a group, if there is one who exercises leadership role and does not take into consideration the sentiments and opinion of other members and makes a decision for others, it is sure to backfire at sometime or other.

A friend complained about a certain Principal of a school who had been notorious for autocracy. Very seldom had he consulted the other members of his team before he arrived at a vital decision affecting the interests of the students, staff, and the guardians of students. The decisions were most often unilateral, though luckily many of his decisions were based on sound judgment, and so there was no major disaster or confrontation. However, the other members of the staff and his own friends and companions began to avoid him, and treat him as an outcast because of his tendency to take people for granted.

Now behind this simple attitude of taking people for granted, or taking people for a ride, there is an unsaid declaration these people make for themselves: it is only these people who have the brains at right proportions so that they could decide for others, and even help people find answers to all the problems they face. There is also an implicit paternalistic attitude in them, which makes them treat all others as children. This is exactly what Transactional Analysis points to us as an unhealthy syndrome in some which can really create havoc to personal relationships. Many are the victims of such paternalistic attitude, and invariably everyone goes through such experiences.

It is a good thing to assert one’s due rights and privileges, and not allow others treat us as if we are the door-mat; but that demands a good amount of guts and courage. I know some big bosses, who cannot tolerate anyone question their decisions, and if the subordinates ever open their lips against their unilateral decisions, the bosses would make sure to ruin the future of these hapless victims. But I have seen some of my good friends dare to do exactly that and face the consequences, even if they are very harsh and unreasonable. This, I feel, is a wonderful thing to do, to be on the guard so that people are treated with due honor and dignity they are born, and not be treated as a paperweight!