In the recent days, I have realized how easy it is to hurt someone I love and care for, and often I do it without even realizing what I am doing. These are not just passing moments in the daily chores of a person, but moments which make a deep wound in the hearts of the people concerned, wounds which may take days and months to heal, and in some cases they may be carried on for years. One question which faces me squarely today is this : why can’t I stop hurting the very people I love so much? What is the need for me to keep hurting the very people time and again, and what pleasure do I get by hurting others, especially my dear ones?
It is hard for me to recognize the pain which many of my close friends go through when I hurt them deeply, and luckily very few bounce back to charge me for spoiling their peace of mind. Many of them let the hurt take its own time to heal, and wait patiently till then, in order to relate to me as they used to before I hurt them. I also realize that I don’t hurt anyone deliberately with the intention of wounding them, but probably there is somewhere in a corner of my heart, there is an unresolved hurt feeling, caused by whomever it may be, and I only try to give vent to this quite unconsciously, and without realizing the consequences it may create.
If I look at each day, there are very few days when I had not hurt anyone, and it would be quite revealing to me if I were to keep a notebook to jot down the different persons I had hurt each day, and look at it at the end of each week. This can help me to see the picture in toto. I may also need to do its counterpart: enlist all the persons who had hurt me each day, and to take a good look at the list at the end of the week. If I were to put both these lists side by side, there might be something very revealing to me; often I hurt the very people who unconsciously had hurt me, in the spirit of tit for tat. If this spirit continues, it is sure to create uneasy feelings among friends.
Just like every sound that has been produced and let out in the ‘air’ is never lost, but hovers in the universe, and if our technology improves, we may be able to retrieve the sound back, even after several years, so also every hurt feeling that we exchange is never lost, but is in the two or more persons concerned, and it may revive the old wounds even after several years. Proper conducive atmosphere where these wounds can heal, and a proper attitude in the hearts of all concerned, can make a difference in the lives of the people, in order to reap the maximum harvest out of these growth promoting experiences. But there are many who are just frightened of facing any such situation, and they would only love to avoid them, if they can. In such people, there might be very little chance for facing the challenges of life.
I know it is impossible for me to undo the effects of hurting others by saying ‘sorry’, even if it comes from the heart of the person who hurt me, and the same is also true with me when I hurt another person. I feel sad to realize that sometimes I begin to poke into the past wounds again and again making my friends and dear ones go through untold pain and suffering. Though I would like to say sorry to them all, deep down I know that my asking pardon is useless, unless I resolve not to indulge in such cruel and harsh treatments. As a human person I can only try my best in order to take up the challenge, but I would be quite powerless before an inner demon which is activating me to do such things which I do not wish for myself. If only I can identify this demon and do something about it, I would be a better person relating to people with genuine human concern all of us are endowed with.
No comments:
Post a Comment