Beyond ‘Reasonable Risks’

There is certain amount of thrill in facing impossible tasks and challenges, things which might appear to be impossible, but when one puts one’s heart and mind to it, it might become easy, and the joy of breaking the so-called barriers can last for decades and even a life time. When a person with normal intelligence and acumen might prefer to limit him/herself with reasonable risks, the dare devils might go beyond the reasonable risks, and thanks to these kind of men and women, we can boast of finding solution to many of the mysteries of the universe and life on earth. If Tenzing Norgay thought scaling the highest mountain on earth was going to be an impossible task, and beyond reasonable risk, then we would not have hundreds of men and women who had ever since reached the top of the Himalayan range.

I love taking risks, not only reasonable risks, but also the risks which would put myself to test. There is no greater test to assess the guts one has, than to push him/her beyond the prescribed limits. Ultimately what it takes to scale the impossible is not merely the brain or the intelligence, but self-determination and confidence. One may have intelligence, but if one does not have the determination and confidence, then the work would suffer failure. Those who had pushed themselves beyond the reasonable risks had reaped a rich harvest, and history is proof to this. It is possible sometimes people had to suffer failure, but that not because the task had been impossible to achieve, but some other elements might have brought down the determination and confidence, thus leading to failure.

But for the daring, even failures are not end of everything; it is only part of the process, and further attempts could help the person to go even beyond the limits of success and achievement. One need not be an IAS (Indian Administrative Services), in order to go beyond reasonable risks; every person is capable of experimenting with this, in whatever situation we are in. Even a simple experiment as sitting at the study table with a serious work can prove that it is not impossible to achieve what has been branded as impossible. We have enough psychological power to even destroy the world in an instant, and if only this power is put to use, life can be very different.

I had the fortune of experimenting with the so-called impossible task in a limited way, and I found it an enjoyable experiment, and since then I have been looking for scaling the impossible heights, and not be complacent with the reasonable risks. For a person who had been used to life in a city with all the comforts it offers, it would be quite impossible to live in a village, where even the basic necessities of life were scarce. Comforts apart, life was quite daring and challenging, and the institution was in a mess after the director had to be removed on medical grounds all of a sudden, and there was no one who had been prepared to replace him. Then out of the blue, I called up my superiors and informed them that I was ready to volunteer to go to that place. From the time I landed up there, I enjoyed every moment of my two year stay.

I have realized that one of the most important dispositions to go really beyond the reasonable risks is to consider the task as a test to one’s self and not so much a task which had been imposed. Failures may occur when one takes it as a task assigned, and not the one which concerned him/her. The second requisite is related to the first : happy to be part of the process, not merely the end. Some are over obsessed with the goal, which they may forget to enjoy every moment of the process of scaling the impossible, and that could be a futile exercise. What happens if for some reason or other one fails in the challenge; it under normal circumstances, should not upset the person, because one has to savor the joy and happiness of the process and not merely the final moment of victory or success. If this is the attitude with which one embraces an impossible, then success is just inches away.

Bewitched for Life

During our school days, we were taught this old rhyme, Make new friends, keep the old! One is silver and the other is gold! Needless to say, we are always on the lookout for new friends, friends in need and friends in deed! We hold the pre-requisites of the kind of friends we are looking for, and look around for the one who would fit into our bill. It is not easy to find the kind of person who would fulfill all our criteria. Unfortunately there are very few computers with all the adequate data, which can give the name, address and contact telephone number of our soul-mates, to whom we would feel drawn at the very first sight! It may happen in the future, but in that case we all may lose the chance of meeting the perfect friend of our choice.

Unfortunately there is no shortcut to choose friends; we always have to start with trials, and some may reveal enduring, while others may drop out of our lives too soon. True friendship can flower forth between two persons only when both the minds find a common meeting place, of interest, of aspiration, of dream. Once the two persons begin to share their dreams or interests, they begin to take interest in the other person too. But the search for friendship is often a game of luck; sometimes we may win, and at other times, we may lose miserably. We may like the company, while the other person may not. The other person may only like to make use of us for his/her own benefits, and may move out of our lives when the job is done.

I often become suspicious of the friendships which flower forth too soon; they are like the flowers which shoot up all of a sudden, and they may also wither all too suddenly. Any person who is frantically looking for a friend to fill the vacuum created by the leaving of another, may end up with catastrophic results. We cannot go looking for a friend, but often good friends cross our ways, and at one moment our eyes may meet theirs, and there may be non-verbal communication between the day. I have realized that in many lasting friendships, the relationship had begun long before we began to talk to each other, and share information on our past, present and future. Sometimes it had taken even months, if not years before we began to roll the ball.

I am quite selective in accepting persons as friends, for every friendship entails certain amount of commitment, though the degree of commitment is quite different from those that expressed between married persons, and between God and religious persons. While I establish a commitment with the person who begins to share my life, as it were, I do not demand or expect the other person to stick to me by force. There cannot be true friendship existing under pressure; there should be mutual freedom on the part of both the parties to walk out, and seek a more suitable person as companion or friend. Perhaps this is one of the pre-conditions of true friendship.

It is no wonder then that I cannot remember anyone who went out of my life bitter, because I drove him or her from being friends. Circumstances had forced some to bid adieu, and at other times family ties and other social conditions had put a fullstop to our deep friendship, but I had always been enriched by every friendship that I had cherished down the years, and am grateful to God for all of them. Even the first intimate friend who had graced my life some 17 years ago, is always there at the corner of my heart, as I pray for her health and wellbeing, as she continues to live her life, even non-communicating to me for the past 13 years. Did I not tell that true lasting friendships go beyond all time and space?

Children of Chance

The weather forecast for these days has been quite right, and the cold wind seemed to dip day after day, and the cloudy weather added to the woes of the common people, who have no big shelter to protect themselves from the cold wind blowing, especially at the early hours of the day. Those who live in high-rise buildings have nothing much to worry, even if the temperature were to dip to zero and even beyond; they have all the comforts set right to protect themselves from any sort of heat and cold; they cannot be touched by any kind of weather! But I would like to imagine the Ultadanga slum-dwellers who had lost their “hutments” at the fire that broke at midday!

It is said that over 500 families lost not only their shelter, but also all their belongings. Some of them were left to stand and stare at the bellowing of flames, slowly eating up all their possessions, however big or small they are. Now that these people are left to wonder what they could do to get back to life, there are politicians ready to play their cards, throw the sympathy trump cards, and get into the good books of the hapless victims of circumstances. There would be theories which may attribute the fire to the deliberate tactics of certain political parties in order to clear the place at one go. Whatever be the theories, one thing is for sure: these people have been left to huddle with open sky over their heads, and warm themselves with the rags salvaged from ashes!

It is hard to think of these poor slum-dwellers to rise up to new life like the proverbial phoenix; there is one saving factor: they are quite used to these kinds of predicaments; they have seen several such fires, and had begun life anew several times. It has become almost a routine affair for them to keep looking at life with bright eyes, and then let the flames devour their dreams at a time they least expect. This is one thing they do not have much control; to prevent such calamities dawn on their dwellings. They seem to be playing a duel with chance, and there are more chances that they lose the battle, with all the other forces supporting the chances!

Even as 2500 people of the slum struggle to gather whatever has been left behind by the merciful flames, for most of us, the event has not touched us in any way. Our food for three times is assured; the morning coffee and the evening tea will be there, even if the whole world were to collapse! Unless there is a major natural calamity, we are sure that our building is strong and will stand for another 50 years to say the least. What do we need to worry? Many of these people who have lost all their earnings and belongings, may wonder what they will eat before they go to bed; the parents may have to beg food for their children, and their plight may not touch my life in any way!

It is not that I should now rush to handover the food cooked for me to the hungry people; that would not solve the problem in anyway. It may only seem crocodile tears! How am I to express my solidarity with these people, that would make a difference, if not for the people I symbolically care for, but at least for me! It maybe a social-crime to enjoy a cozy evening inside my room well protected from excessive heat and cold, while there are people who do not have a decent place to lay down their heads tonight. Will it be possible for me to do something for them, which may make a difference? Probably there may not be anything which I can do to make a difference, except that I do not forget the faces of these people even as I go to bed with full-stomach, after having a warm bath! If I carry them in my mind at least for a while during the day, it will have its own impact and repercussion!

Mobile Mad Rush

I am often bombarded with the question, why I don’t possess a mobile phone, and it is hard for me each time when someone questions me to give an adequate and satisfying answer. Given the present situation and circumstances I don’t feel the need to have one, but the very next question that my friends pose is : But we don’t get you when we want! It is true, often I am ‘out of bounds’ for some people, because I am out of the house, and so they cannot contact me immediately. But the fact is that at least some times I do not want to be contacted at all, by any one! This I call my ‘private time’. No one has the right to intrude into my private time, for whatever reason. It is however not that I am so very adamant about this notion of private time, but I don’t want to auction my private time for anyone to intrude. Even when I had the mobile phone for a year, I was sure to turn it off at 9 p.m. and switch it on at about 6.30 a.m. That too annoyed some of the people who could not have access to me during the time in between, but I was clear that I did not want to be disturbed at that time period.

Frankly speaking there are reasons for not possessing a mobile phone, which I consider quite personal, apart from the reason I had mentioned above. Without entering deep into the issue, let me just highlight what keeps me at a distance from the purchase and use of a mobile phone, which today has become an absolute necessity. I have seen it in the hands of rickshaw pullers, auto rickshaw drivers, even beggars have it. I am not exaggerating. While walking along the prestigious Camac street in Kolkata, I came across a beggar in his wheel chair (probably he was crippled), shouting at someone on the mobile phone. We take it for granted that everyone who matters in the society should have one; it has become such an indispensable means of communication that when being introduced to strangers, the first thing they ask is ‘what is your mobile phone number?’ And there is an expression of bewilderment when I tell them that I don’t have one! I leave it to them to imagine what had gone wrong with me that I don’t have one. I am happy with whatever they might think of.

It may be possible that I am quite prejudiced against the mobile phone, and would often find more reasons not to have than to have it. I would not go to enlist the reasons why we should have a mobile phone, and why it may be necessary that every citizen in the country has a mobile phone! Nor will I try to enlist the reasons why we should not have. However from a personal front, there are perhaps two reasons why I find it not suitable for me, at this juncture. The first one is this : technology has grown rapidly in the recent past few years, more than the past centuries altogether, and the life of human beings has changed considerably due to it. But I feel there is a limit to flow with the technological current; without denying the uses of the cellphone, we are aware of the misuses of it, and how the use of it can be detrimental to positive human growth. Just because technology offers the benefits of being “connected”, I am not required to make use of it, whether I really require it or not. Imagine the danger if we were to flow with the current of technology… we may end up nowhere! It is not a personal battle with technology, but a personal control mechanism to say that I may not use the technology that I don’t require just now. I feel the need to say ‘no’ gracefully, and am very happy not to have it.

To have a mobile phone has become a prestigious issue today, and every educated and literate person is expected to have one; there are even illiterate persons, who cannot read and write in their vernacular, making use of the mobile phone to be in touch with their circle of friends and relatives. I would prefer not to run in the rat-race, and have nothing to complain about those who feel the need of it. Others may have necessity which I don’t realize, and that is another reason which keeps me away from having one. Maybe there is a wicked pleasure and joy in me while telling people that I don’t have it, but honestly speaking I am happy without it, and wonder if I would be happy to have it at all, even if everyone of my friends wish I have it. Sometimes I feel the pinch of not having it, but I feel that is part of the deal. Yesterday after the Christmas mass at night, some of my friends wanted to wish me by calling me and since I was in a mission which did not have a land-phone, they could not reach me; but what gives me so much of hope is that, we managed all these years without it, and can’t we manage some inconveniences by not having it?

Today I would like to pause for a while and reflect on the different blessings of nature and technology which are at my disposal. Most often I take them for granted, and don’t even question if I truly need them to reach my fullest potentiality! Today is the time for me to ask that moot question : does this technology really help me to reach out to others, and to reach my fullest potentiality. It may also be possible that I realize that there are minor and so-called older technologies, which may be far more useful for me than the most recent ones, and it may call me to reorganize my thinking. Let me be content with what is useful and needed for me, instead of running to acquire every new thing that enter into our markets. I do not want to be lured by market or technology, but wish to make use of them in as much as they help me. But let me close this blog with an open ending : if after a few months, I feel the need and urgency to use a mobile phone, I would not hesitate to get one, and I will do it happily and joyfully!

Breaking the Benign

If we term a group of animals as ferocious, often we see that there is no greater ferocious animal than the human beings; it is only men and women who can be very ruthless, and heartless. Some are so hard hearted that nothing can move them. And that is a tragedy that is responsible for so much of terror and bloodshed in our world. We blame the circumstances, and even point an accusing finger at the up-bringing, but more than all, we cannot but blame the new-age value system, which still believes in survival of the fittest and the fastest (imagine the notion of speed that is at the helm of all present day advancements!). Anything can be dispensed with in order to soar high in the business ladder or to achieve the targeted goals. That includes even the life of innocent men and women, the voiceless, deaf-dumb-mute human beings, who cannot be given the dignity that befits them.

Three days ago, we got the news that one of our companions was going through a minor depression, and felt lonely. Some of the past events and incidents had aggravated a sense of loss and insecurity in him, that led him to think that he was not worthy of being what he had been for the past thirty years. He was in tears when he narrated to me how some of our friends had humiliated him in public, without even the least qualms of conscience. That this friend of mine could go to such a situation was something that I could not imagine. So some of our friends began to call him up to boost his morale and bring him back to a feeling that he was wanted and his past efforts to contribute to the institution he was attached to was worth its while. One of his regrets was that no one acknowledged how much he had given himself to build the institution where he had been for the past fourteen years. Instead of some good words, there were brickbats and accusations that chased him to take recourse in brooding and finally to minor depression.

It was quite surprising for me to hear from a close associate of mine, who said that one friend had told him, that the man undergoing depression was in fact feigning. Another important friend warned me not to give undue importance to him. I found it extremely difficult to understand how crude and hard we could be in the judgment of our companions. Many of us at sometime or other go through such moments when we feel that all our efforts were in vain, and it would be better to move out to some other place where we may at least be noticed. If I cannot be sympathetic towards my neighbor, how much of sympathy can I expect from others when I am in trouble? We all of us wish to be treated fairly, and is it not just that we too treat others in the same measure?

I am quite convinced that there are times in the life of persons, when we need to go across the boundaries of familiarity, friendship, relationship and legalities. When the very life of a person is at stake, we cannot afford to bargain with mean and silly issues and things. If we think that the life of a person can be sacrificed in order to prove a point right or wrong, then the time may not be far off for us to bear the consequences of such a notion. The modern society has taught us to be tough with ourselves and with the outside world, even encouraging us to be strict with our feelings and emotions. No wonder many of us turn out to be more of machines than lively human persons. That is where the danger lies; if we cannot look at others as an extension of myself, all my philosophies and world wisdom will be of no value. I am called primarily to be human, fully human, fully alive.

Today I take a few moments from my busy life, to quieten myself and enter into my inner self to look at the corners where I still carry certain amount of stones that can break a soul and shed blood. Let me look at them, and see them slowly transformed into soft, gentle wool. Let me also look in my mind all the people whom I had treated with ruthlessness and made them realize that they were not wanted, and deep down feel sorry for such moments. I also will think about the moments when I could have reacted differently to people and incidents, instead of going by the letters of the law. Let me see that the brother and sister whom I ill-treat or mis-treat is my extension, and they too demand the dignity that I claim for myself. It may not be possible that I am transformed into a different being in a day or two, but if I am aware that I have a heart that is capable of turning men and women into beasts, then there are chances that one day I may truly be able to enter into the shoes of others, and truly empathise with them. And that is the moment of self-victory for me!