Rocking Boats!

Two of my community members cannot accept me as the Rector of this place, complained a priest to me, when I went to meet him regarding one of our men who is undergoing some kind of apprenticeship under his care. I had known that the priests generally do not discuss with men of other congregations about the inner conflicts, but this priest was quite vocal. And to my surprise one of his strong enemies is known to me quite closely, and I was not surprised that this priest was having problem from him. Looking at people through cultural glasses is one of the most common maladies plaguing the Church in several parts of the country. I wonder if there is any quick remedy to this malady!

It is not surprising that this kind of feelings are felt and expressed in many of the religious communities. The fact is that in most cases, the members make the utmost effort to hide these inner conflicts and division among themselves. After all, no one wishes to wash their dirty linen in public. I was not shocked or surprised that this kind of inner resistance is expressed so clearly at the dining table, even in the presence of members of other congregations. I was not surprised, because such is the case even in many of our communities, and I am sure that such a thing will continue to exist for many more years to come; the only reason why this is something impossible for us to remedy is because we form human communities.

Luckily we are not saints, nor are we hardcore sinners; we are just ordinary, mediocre men, who think mostly in human terms. Though we have left behind all our families, friends, yet at the core of our being we have our own silly inclinations, what Ignatius of Loyola called, inordinate attachments. This human craving for self-promotion is so basic that it may pop up at the moment when we least expect. And I cannot believe a person who says that he/she does not have any desire or attachment, which is not lopsided. No one can be exempted from thinking in this line; the very fact that we are human persons, makes it obligatory for us to be bound by our attachments.

For the most part, we are not in full control over ourselves, our actions, thoughts and words; our attachments, desires determine everything we think, say and do. It may need careful observation on our part to realize the truth-value of this statement. I am driven not by my thoughts, but what I deem is essential for my very survival, and those are the deep-seated cravings, many of which might not have been acknowledged. Unfortunately many of us live and die, without ever realizing what we are bound with, leave alone attempting to free ourselves from these bonds. If only we realize that we are prisoners of our desires and cravings is already the starting point of our journey in freedom.

I know the inner conflict within the religious community will continue to rock their boats, until the concerned persons realize that by trying to rock other’s boats, they are in fact rocking their own, and it might not be too late before they realize that their own boats are sinking. It is impossible to explain to these over-grown men that each of them is holding on to his rock-forts which he hopes will protect him from all assault, but unfortunately that does not happen that way. It is only when they realize that while trying to pull down their companion from the seat of “power” they are only binding themselves more and more to their own demons, which may sometime or other make a prey out of them.

Lonely Birds!

I dare not think about the life of a priest in a lonely parish, as is the case with many interior missions; due to the lack of priests, these men are to live alone, all by themselves, with no companion to share life in common, as is the case with any religious congregation. I also feel how they would be haunted by loneliness, and the need for a companion, with whom they could pour out their pains and agonies, joys and ecstasies. The priests are to face more loneliness if they do not get along well with the community of believers they serve; if the people turn hostile, their plight is doubled.

One of the ways how these priests attempt to overcome this sense of loneliness, is by having friends near and far, with whom they could share life through modern means of communication. I would not be surprised if the persons living alone in a remote village, has a fat telephone bill; it is his need, and that is a survival mechanism. There are also some others who try to overcome loneliness through some unhealthy practices; some develop obsessive compulsion to gluttony, some to watching films, some to sleeping. For them, to kill time is a major preoccupation.

I had been taught in my younger days that one of the best ways of overcoming loneliness is to develop a healthy hobby, on which I can fall back, whenever I feel down and forelorn. Alas for those who have not develped some healthy habits, they would find it hard to spend time usefully. I know some of my friends who know how to make use of their free time, especially when they are alone. Some write poems, some compose music, some do wonderful gardening, and all of these are profitable not only at the personal level, but also benefit the wider society. Anyone who foresees a lonely life in future should start preparing to face it already at the younger age.

But it would be wrong to think that only the diocesan priests most often feel lonely; their situations may force them to such a situation; even persons living in big communities may experience certain amount of loneliness, especially when there is no one to spoon-feed them every time. Some feel "left out", when there is no one to take good care of them; they like to be invited for meals, invited for dinner outside, or taken for an icecream. During the personal free time, some may fine it hard to while away the time. That is why gossiping is a major timepass in many religious communities.

If a person does not take care to overcome loneliness already at the early stage, then it could become a matter of major concern, because it is bound to lead to some other unhealthy social practices. What can I do in order to overcome loneliness? The best way is, to give company to the persons who feel and experience loneliness around me; for when I feel lonely, they are sure to reach out to me, and share their valuable time and energy. It is only by reaching out to one another that we can create a world where we can experience oneness and unity of all creations.