Rocking Boats!

Two of my community members cannot accept me as the Rector of this place, complained a priest to me, when I went to meet him regarding one of our men who is undergoing some kind of apprenticeship under his care. I had known that the priests generally do not discuss with men of other congregations about the inner conflicts, but this priest was quite vocal. And to my surprise one of his strong enemies is known to me quite closely, and I was not surprised that this priest was having problem from him. Looking at people through cultural glasses is one of the most common maladies plaguing the Church in several parts of the country. I wonder if there is any quick remedy to this malady!

It is not surprising that this kind of feelings are felt and expressed in many of the religious communities. The fact is that in most cases, the members make the utmost effort to hide these inner conflicts and division among themselves. After all, no one wishes to wash their dirty linen in public. I was not shocked or surprised that this kind of inner resistance is expressed so clearly at the dining table, even in the presence of members of other congregations. I was not surprised, because such is the case even in many of our communities, and I am sure that such a thing will continue to exist for many more years to come; the only reason why this is something impossible for us to remedy is because we form human communities.

Luckily we are not saints, nor are we hardcore sinners; we are just ordinary, mediocre men, who think mostly in human terms. Though we have left behind all our families, friends, yet at the core of our being we have our own silly inclinations, what Ignatius of Loyola called, inordinate attachments. This human craving for self-promotion is so basic that it may pop up at the moment when we least expect. And I cannot believe a person who says that he/she does not have any desire or attachment, which is not lopsided. No one can be exempted from thinking in this line; the very fact that we are human persons, makes it obligatory for us to be bound by our attachments.

For the most part, we are not in full control over ourselves, our actions, thoughts and words; our attachments, desires determine everything we think, say and do. It may need careful observation on our part to realize the truth-value of this statement. I am driven not by my thoughts, but what I deem is essential for my very survival, and those are the deep-seated cravings, many of which might not have been acknowledged. Unfortunately many of us live and die, without ever realizing what we are bound with, leave alone attempting to free ourselves from these bonds. If only we realize that we are prisoners of our desires and cravings is already the starting point of our journey in freedom.

I know the inner conflict within the religious community will continue to rock their boats, until the concerned persons realize that by trying to rock other’s boats, they are in fact rocking their own, and it might not be too late before they realize that their own boats are sinking. It is impossible to explain to these over-grown men that each of them is holding on to his rock-forts which he hopes will protect him from all assault, but unfortunately that does not happen that way. It is only when they realize that while trying to pull down their companion from the seat of “power” they are only binding themselves more and more to their own demons, which may sometime or other make a prey out of them.

Sweet to Sour Story

I have been quite disturbed by the story of a former religious nun taking a Jesuit priest to the court, alleging illegitimate sex, leading to abortion! This news apparently had been entertaining the people of Tamil Nadu for quite some time, the former nun publicly washing her private linen, adding fuel to the fire, and the priest living in underground, in order not to be caught by the public eye, and the ever vigilant journalists and photographers. It would be quite unfair on my part to make any value judgment about this case, since what I know is perhaps just the tip of an iceberg, and a greater part of the truth may be buried for all eternity.

What had transpired the two of them to part ways is something which is unknown to most of us; what had prompted them to seek one of the most cruel forms of punishing in public is also something that most of us cannot think of. I am quite confident that whatever be the present situation, in the beginning there should have been genuine love for each other. Over the days and months that love could have led to greater deepening, ultimately leading to crossing the religious frontiers, to indulge in what is forbidden. I would not contest the idea that the priest and the former nun did not indulge in the most intimate form of human love, but would better leave it without debating about the authenticity of this fact.

One thing that I fail to understand in the entire drama of love between these two persons, where the sweet had turned into sour, within so few years, is my conviction that there should have been genuine love between these two at some time or other during their relationship over the past years. I cannot think that the former nun would have contemplated extorting a huge sum of money as compensation for what he had done to her; there are some people who propose this angle, but my heart says, during a genuine loving relationship this kind of ideas generally do not surface. In that case what had gone wrong in their relationship?

If the former nun had genuine love for the priest, how did she dare to go so far, demanding not only the expulsion of him from the religious congregation, but also a huge sum of money as compensation towards the damage caused to her. It is possible that there are other more dominant angles in the story – one being the caste issue, and another political, but my contention is this : if this lady had true love for him, she could only think of what is good for him; what would make him happy, even if she is disrobed of her religious status, and had to struggle in the unfamiliar world she is thrown into. Has her love for him evaporated then?

I feel sad for the priest, who could think that his love for her had become a public commodity, or worse still a yellow journalism. It is possible we might never come to know the different layers of their relationship, because it is only God who could fathom the hearts of people. While we await the legal procedures to take their own course, it is impossible to condemn anyone; who knows what had forced the former nun to resort to this extreme form of cruelty to the one who had loved her beyond all measure! It could be social or political pressures, or even psychological ones. I would like to remember both of them and place them before the Lord of all consolation that he might bring peace in the hearts of these two in a special way today!

Penny wise, Pound foolish

This senior man was known as an austere man, who would spend hours on end in order to save a few pennies, and would glory in it. He would walk for more than an hour, and would not take public transport, because he had to pay for the travel, and ultimately come back home exhausted. He has a very strict sense of poverty (as a religious man who has vowed poverty, this is very much fitting), and would swear by it. If one were to look at his shoes, it would be worse than that of a beggar, and he has only one pair of dress, which he would wash at night and wear it during the day. Well, that is his style of practising poverty, and no one can really argue with him about it.

It is true, he is fully convinced of what he does, and if it is his personal conviction, no one has the right to question him about it. But what I am concerned about is, not about his personal conviction, but about how his personal conviction comes in conflict with the interests of others living with him. I have realized that it is not easy to live with people who have strong personal convictions; it is rightly said that it is hell to live with saints! But the saving grace is that this gentleman would not demand the same standard from others, leave alone impose it on others. At the same time, he would not like to be questioned about his standards.

He had been coming to our office for three days to complete his annual ritual – entering the marks of a subject he was teaching in the college. This is the moral education, and it is doubtful if any of the students took his classes seriously, but he takes the examinations and marks so seriously that he would spend more time tabulating than in correcting them. He would tabulate them in MS Excel and then would check it, double check the marks, so that there is no error, and then would go one by one marking all those who had failed in Red. Then he would need to take a print out of this for the file. I had been asking him if it is all worth the trouble, and he would want it that way, and no one can argue with him about it.

It was said that this gentleman had one of the finest brains in the campus, but after his completion of the doctorate in physics, he began to teach in the college, but it was found that what he taught went over the heads of students and so he had to be stopped. In the meantime he took up certain topics as his areas of interest, which in the long run, became his obsession, and he would fight with people tooth and nail in order to show that everyone who did not subscribe to his views were wrong and that only he could give answer to some of the moral and religious problems which haunted the human society.

I have no regrets about the man, because there is a fair amount of genuineness in him; he is excessively obsessed with poverty, and it would be a futile effort to argue with him about the notion that poverty does not tantamount to privation and even beggary. We need certain essential things in order to live a decent and dignified life; if one thinks that these things are redundant, and would not like to avail them, then the person is sure to place himself on a separate ground, morally condemning everyone for not following his own standards and precepts. I would not dare to call his way of doing things as ‘penny wise and pound foolish’, but it would be very close to it. If only he could put to good use his wisdom, then he would be richer than the richest. But it may take him another birth to look at the other side of the spectrum.

Life's Bitter Joke

Humor is of several kinds; I won’t be able to enumerate all of them, but I know for sure there is genuine humor which help widen our face-lines, and there is wry humor which would only arouse uneasy feelings in the listeners/audience, and there is yet another kind of humor which is cruel. There are similarly jokes, which instead of make us laugh, may only prompt us to shed tears, bitter tears. This is what can be termed as life’s bitter jokes, and today I am going to share about one such bitter joke one of my friends narrated to me. It is immaterial who had narrated to me, but the fact is that it happened today to people known to me. And believe me, jokes have no color or creed or nationality, and can apply to all people in all situations.

People do make mistakes, but if we fail to look at the people who make mistakes, and only blow the mistakes out of proportions, we are bound to lose the touch of humanness, and that may be dangerous. This senior lady, who had lost her husband some three decades ago, had brought all her children up single-handedly, courageously, crossing several barriers, hills and valleys. She worked hard to make a living, and even as she nears her seventies, she stitches religious habits for a group of nuns, and that keeps her going. She is assisted by her eldest daughter, mother of six children, and wife of a drunkard, who is the sole bread-winner of the family. The mother and daughter duo had received an order to make a religious habit for a nun, and today was the deadline.

The senior lady had not eaten during the day, struggling to keep the deadline, and rushed to hand it over to the nun, who on seeing the outfit, shouted at the lady at the top of her voice. There had been a lack of communication, but that was not the reason for her to lose her temper and shout at the lady, who had made this outfit with great care and love. Her daughter younger daughter, who stood close-by was stunned to see how her mother was being humiliated, and was deeply hurt by the rude and rough behavior of the nun. The senior lady and her daughter depended on the nuns to make a living, and they valued the orders of the nuns greatly, but they could not believe their eyes when the nuns began to pour out all their anger on the lady.

The mother and her younger daughter were both greatly hurt, but they are helpless; the ruthless and cruel way the nun had treated them was more than they could bear. If the duo was well off, they could just say goodbye to the nuns, but they cannot afford to do that. They have to repair the habit, by replacing it with another set, and the senior lady was ready to travel for three hours to purchase cloth to replace the one they had made with wrong measurements. When I think of this situation, I feel sad, and at one moment there were a couple of tears at the corner of my eyes. How could life be so cruel to the have-nots? Is not there a way out for them to live with the honor and dignity they were created with? Should they continue to live on the mercy of the people who could hire and fire them at will?

The one image which comes to my mind when I think of the bitter jokes of life, is that of clowns of ancient day plays; these were men from the lowest strata of society, who struggled to make both ends meet, and opted to make a living by making people laugh on stage. While they laughed and made others laugh on stage, the reality at back-stage and at home was just the opposite. They laughed while their hearts cried bitterly, and such is the laughter the mother and daughter would have been indulging in today, and when I heard this incident narrated to me, I was helpless as to how I could console the daughter, leave alone her aging mother. It is one thing to listen to others narrating to us as it happened to them, and it is another thing to experience it for ourselves.

Singing with the Spirit

It was so very wonderful to hear about one of my friends share her experiences, while attending a workshop for her sisters on planning for the early formation in their congregation. She shared with me on how different persons had to make adjustments in order to bring the discussions to fruition. Each person had something to share, and she had a greater share to contribute, thanks to her far-sightedness and down-to-earth experiences with girls at early stages of formation. The coaxing and prodding of one of her friends to go deeper, had also helped her to think differently, positively and innovatively, which had added color to their discussions.

I believe every one of us has got something to contribute to common meetings and deliberations, but often we come across persons who may not dare to open their mouths, and it may be quite annoying for the organizers to find such persons in big number. There may also be persons who feel shy to speak out what they feel deep within, and therefore keep their insights locked up within their selves. There are others who feel that their viewpoint would be quite sub-standard in comparison with others, and so would not dare to speak out in public meetings and discussions.

I feel that if a person is not able to speak out in meetings or deliberations and contribute his/her view points, that person is not being faithful to the Spirit which moves him/her. No one can say that he/she has got nothing to say about any point whatsoever. It may be possible for a person that it is not easy to grasp the content being discussed, but in that case one can at least say that he/she finds it hard to grasp the content. But keeping mum can only mean that one is closing one's heart to the promptings of the Spirit.

We also come across persons who know how to divert the discussions to the areas they are comfortable with, and thus hijack the entire discussion. It is my practice not to speak more than what I should, even when I know I have more important things to contribute, unless I am specially invited to voice my opinion. There is a tendency in some to parade their knowledge and erudition by intervening too many times during meetings and deliberations, much to the annoyance of everyone else. I need to know how much I should contribute, and should not think that I am the only person to contribute towards the fruition of the discussions.

The people who are overly smart and over confident may be tempted to divert the discussions to areas which are different from the one primarily aimed at, and it would do good if these persons sometimes deliberately keep quiet, and let the spirit move other members of the group. Thus it is not necessary for me to talk, every time I feel inspired; the Spirit too may require some moments of quietness and silence. This would also give me time to realize that I should not hijack even the Spirit, or speak in the name of the Spirit. The Spirit can move anyone in the group to bring home vital points for discussion, and we have no right to tamper with the movements of the Spirit.

Seeds of Sensitivity

Insensitivity to the needs of our dear ones is ingrained into the human psyche; we are not talking about insensitivity to the animal and plant kingdoms, but to the clan of our own. Perhaps this is the one and only quality that is needed of the present generation to make life on earth more joyful and happy, and perhaps this is one of the toughest of all challenges this generation has to face. If only we are more sensitive to things and persons around us, then there would be better peace and harmony in our families; if we have sensitivity between the members of the family, each family can boast of an ideal family. But reality is far from this kind of situation, and that is what is ailing our age.

Like everyone else around me, I am no exception to exhibiting insensitivity towards others, especially those who are in any way less fortunate or less qualified or lower than me in social-religious status, and it does not hurt me at all to be cold and indifferent towards them. I often feel justified in being insensitive towards them, and feel they all deserve it from me. Often my relationship with them determines how sensitive or insensitive I am to them. To the people I am bonded, I tend to be alert and extremely sensitive to their needs and necessities, but to those who do not much matter to me, I am indifferent and insensitive.

I have seen that sensitivity towards other persons and to animals and plants is a matter of attitude, not merely conditioned by my personal rapport with them. For instance, if I know that certain group of people are noble and worthy of honor in my sight, then I would tend to go out of my way to make them comfortable and provide them all their needs. Let me illustrate this with an example. Often priests and religious go to attend celebrations which most often end with a festive dinner. While the priests and religious enjoy a hearty meal, their vehicle drivers may be left to starve outside the dining halls. How many of the priests and religious would remember to call them inside and provide them the same meal they take part in? I have noticed that fortunately this part of the world the priests and religious do remember to do this, partly because the drivers are part of their household, their family.

There is one little way how this sense of sensitivity towards others could be cultivated by all, and it is not so difficult to do. If only I look at every person around me as an extension of my own self, then much of the problem of insensitivity would be nibbed already at the bud. This would mean that I should dissociate the persons from all the categories the world had imposed on them, such as social, economic and religious class this person belongs to, the nationality, color, caste and influence he/she enjoys, and this would require certain mental exercise. Once this is done, then it is not difficult to look at the person with new eyes, and I would not need to be excessively alert to be sensitive to his or her needs. I would be automatically impelled to be sensitive to his/her needs.

I have been so appreciative of certain friends of mine, who are so sensitive to the needs of others that they would not bother about their own personal needs and necessities. There is another important virtue they hold, presence of mind. They are often trouble-shooters, and their sensitivity to persons and situations make them so adept to hand tough situations boldly and courageously that they are often in great demand. I feel sensitivity is a divine virtue, and while it is fifty per cent God given, the other fifty per cent needs to be cultivated and nurtured. The people who are sensitive in a society make a lot of difference, and thanks to them we can boast most of our demands are easily met.

Careful Camouflage

I was so sad to hear about the plight of one of my friends, who had been giving herself fully for the mission entrusted to her, for the past 10 years. From a silent spectator, she had grown to be an organizer par excellence, single-handedly putting up two buildings with help from donor agencies, and not taking even a single rupee from her congregation. It was indeed a matter of prestige that she was able to contribute so much for the mission of her congregation. Unfortunately those who are at the helm of this local congregation cannot look at her kindly; bias and prejudice were to be blamed for the way she was treated all along. In fact, it was all because of one person, who wished to decide the fate of all her subjects, which led to silent anarchy in the congregation.

But who cares for the simple voiceless sisters, who only knew how to take orders, and knew not how to put their points across, how to argue convincingly with the people who mattered in the administration of the congregation, or how to refuse the high-handedness of a handful of people who wished to wield control over all the rest. Selfishness of a small group of ‘bourgeoisie’ mattered more than the interest and welfare of the entire congregation and their mission. The person who was supposed to be at the top of the administrative structure was made into a dummy horse, while the previous head continued to wield power over others. But there were too few to disregard the autocratic high-handedness of this person, others were too frightened to confront her.

My friend had been known as a person who would not dare talk anything in return for the orders she was given, but over the years, she had learned to speak, and today when she questions the unilateral decisions of the higher-ups, they cannot think that she could speak so boldly. They are awe-stuck that she was talking so boldly. But she is not the kind who would demand something unreasonable, but she has learned that she cannot let herself be taken for a royal ride by anyone; she knows she has to fight for her own rights and would not let anyone snatch from her hands, something which is due to her, which is her right. I am happy that today she is able to speak her mind loudly and clearly, and is ready to face the consequences.

What was more painful for me was that when my friend had informed her administrative heads that she could not accept the transfer for some serious reasons, the head had reminded her that it was her religious obedience which bound her to accept the decision of her superiors. But my first question is, if the transfer has been decided through the process of serious communal discernment; for all practical purposes, it was one person who had decided about this transfer. Can the whims and fancies of one particular autocratic person be guarded and shielded by religious notions and ideologies? It is wrong to protect one’s decisions in the name of religious obedience, because the Spirit cannot prompt anything which is illogical and irrational.

It is sad that there are still religious men and women who cannot accept the fact that in this fast changing world, they would love to cling to the age-old ideologies. Any discernment process in matters relating to transfers and changes are to take into consideration the wishes and desires of the persons concerned, and this is something very vital to the very process of discernment. If a discernment process does not take into account the aspirations and desires of the persons concerned, then it could be just the wrong way of doing the discernment, and it may be in all probability contrary to the will of God, and contrary to the promptings of the Spirit. I wish the local congregations understand the importance of taking into confidence the aspirations of the persons discussed. Times when one could be blindly ordered to take up an unknown assignment without any preparation whatsoever is gone, and we are living in a world which demands that we approach persons with certain amount of compassion and humanism, as opposed to hard, insensitive religious dogmatism.

The Last Run

When I first heard how this young man ended his life one night, I just could not digest the fact that there are such cowards still in the world. The vice-principal of a prestigious educational institution, known to so many illustrious persons resorted to such cowardly act of ending his life with a rope, hanging himself from the fan in his room! If that was a cowardly act, which I cannot accept, the reason why he did so was all the more cowardly. Just because a lady with whom he had a clandestine relationship, even physical affairs, was going to be married to another man, this young man wished to bargain with her, either she accepts him and forsakes the wedding, or he ends his life!

The lady, who happened to be working under the care of this young man, ultimately decided to find her own way, least expecting her paramour to decide something which was beyond all her imagination. One may go all lengths to blame the lady for tricking the young religious man into a relationship which was not becoming of his religious identity, leave alone of a gentleman. We are not sure how the relationship between the lady and the young religious priest began and bloomed, but one thing is for sure, the young man was far from being a religious, he was not even being an average human person, who could accept reality as it came to us.

I feel sad for the young man, who at the age of just 41, prime of his life, decided to bid farewell to the world, without a word to friends and relatives, all the people he grew with… and he quietly quit the world at the dark of the night. I am not much worried about the scandal that this incident of suicide has created in the city, but am worried more about the blot that it has left on religious life in general; the religious have lost much of their credibility because of the stupidity of this one young man, who had his own reason, however narrow it might be, to do what he wanted, without ever thinking of what the act would land him and his religious order into.

I feel there is nothing on earth which can be a valid reason for a person to take off his life, and surely not relationships, because with regard to human relationship, we enter into a limitless ocean, and we would find certain points shallow and certain other points deep. We may have to walk with care and caution, so that we do not allow ourselves to be drowned. There may be cozy points, there might be quicksand, and there may also be dry ground in the midst of water. We all of us find persons of our choice and taste during our sojourn on the sea; some persons enter into our lives for a short duration, while some others walk with us greater distance, and very seldom we may find persons who may walk with us all the way.

The number of persons embracing death in the recent years has increased manifold; for quite many young people it is the easy way to escape life. It is heartening to listen to the story of each of the people who have resorted to end their lives, for silliest reasons to grave ones. I am convinced of one thing, we cannot give any reason for running away from life; by trying to end their lives, these people have only tried to prove, they were not meant to be born on earth; for the world belongs only to the people who know how to live courageously and appreciate life on earth. The escapists had entered into the world by mistake and probably the world never belonged to them, very much as they did not belong to the world.

Fanning the Favorites

Every one of us have our own favorites, be it a color, or person, or an object, and we are often more attached to our favorites than others, and may even enter into fierce fight in order to safeguard or protect our favorites. We have seen several instances in India, when a favorite cinestar had expired, or lost the political battle, there were admirers ready to immolate themselves, and some of the stars thus have found place in temples and places of worship. This may be an illustration of the extent of madness that people go to, but no doubt these stars and idols become so very important in the life of these often illiterate masses, that they would do anything for them.

It is one thing to have favorites, and another to indulge in unbridled favoritism, especially when a person is required to go beyond all regional, linguistic, national, religious, cultural or ethnic categories. But when I come across persons who are so very attached to their own linguistic or cultural group, that they blatantly bend all norms and rules of decency in order to express favoritism to the people they belong to. As people belonging to a particular culture, language and region, we are required to favor our own people, to express our solidarity with them, especially if they are in need of our support and cooperation, but that cannot take place when they are engaged in public service. When these kinds of things happen frequently, such persons are sure to lose the confidence of the people they serve.

It is such a touchy issue that no one would dare speak about it, but when no one talks about it, all concerned would be quite conscious of the undercurrents of such things happening around. Unfortunately unbridled favoritism is something that cannot be kept hidden for long; sooner or later people would come to know about bending laws, rules and regulations in order to accommodate a person just on the merit of his/her language, religion, or region or culture, and it would be quite shameful to be accused of favoritism. Bordering on favoritism is nepotism, of which many of our political leaders are often accused of, starting from the husband of our nation’s first citizen to the lowest ranking public servant.

Every time when favoritism is in effect, bending the rules in order to accommodate a person who does not deserve the favor, what is obvious is also the fact that some persons who in truth deserved the favor is unjustly denied. This goes against the very notion of justice and truth. Anyone who is concerned of social justice cannot indulge in favoritism, in one form or other. But we live in a world where favoritism and nepotism are considered law of the land, and you would be frowned upon if you refused to favor your own kith and kin, there are very few options left open. When a person denies direct favoritism, s/he would be branded as insensitive to the social ties, and when s/he favors his/her own people, then there is injustice done to someone else, while favoring some others.

It would be almost impossible to close one’s eyes from favoring one’s own people, even when one is aware of the repercussions, which may not be all too sweet; there would be occasions when one may be forced to favor one’s own people, even while closing the eyes to some other deserving persons, but if these occasions are exceptions, then one may be considered as safe. But when these things happen as everyday reality, there is a danger that soon such persons are sure to face the ire of the people who have been denied of their due rights and privileges. On several occasions I have felt the pain of being disregarded, because some others had to be favored, and that only makes me conscious of being on my guard to protect myself from indulging in such dubious acts of charity!

Daring to Cross Boundaries

I have great regards and appreciation for those who cross boundaries – cultural, religious, national, linguistic and ideological, to name a few. For me these are people who are worthy of our praise, because they have crossed the barriers which often keep us within a particular culture, religion or nation, and it would take quite a bit of courage and guts to cross over to the other side. But in this case, the other side is not always proverbial greener part, but the one which invites to fight continuously against the very group of people one belongs to, and that is not always pleasant, as the story of Mahabharata tells us. To fight against one’s own people is the most painful of all battles.

I had decided to join the wedding dinner of this staff of our social center, not because he is known to me intimately or that his family is well-known to me. The main reason I wanted to go and wish the couple is because the couple are starting their life together with a different note. It is not the normal note that all songs begin. I was not aware of the story of this wedding, until one of my young companions today narrated me over the lunch table, and since then my appreciation for the bridegroom has increased manifold. Has he done anything heroic, worthy of such praise? To my mind he mind have done something praise worthy, but for him it might not.

To decide to marry a girl/woman who is already married and separated, for whatsoever reason it may be, one needs to have a lot of courage and determination. At the age of 32, this young man is already fighting a big battle with poverty and privation; with difficulty his mother had managed to get his elder sister married off, and they had to wait for another two years to collect some more money to organize the wedding of this young man, who but gets a meager salary, and his mother is still paid a lump sum amount for looking after our sick and senior fathers. But it is not easy to manage a family with the salary of the mother and son, and at this juncture is the marriage arranged.

Some years ago, when both the boy and the girl joined our social centre for work, they used to tease each other. It is said that the marriage of the girl, at the age of 18, broke soon after because her husband was found to be impotent, and when they were preparing to get separated, her present husband used to tease her that she had married an impotent. But teasing might have soon become a feeling of empathy for her, and later flowered into love. I believe no one can marry another out of sympathy, not even for a higher cause; that would only defeat the very purpose of marriage. I would take my hats off to both of them that their love could travel so far.

But crossing boundaries? The boy is originally a Tamil, and the girl a Bengali; the boy is Catholic and the girl traditional Hindu; the boy is at home with Hindi, while the girl in Bengali. But I believe that true love can break all boundaries; after all, love knows no language, and that is the reason why event the blind, deaf and dumb can love others and experience the love of others. I know one thing for sure, that the more the boundaries one crosses in life, the better will be the joy and happiness in reserve for him/her. Crossing boundaries also makes one strong to face any future challenge and difficulty. Such people are often courageous persons, who do not easily shy away from facing difficulties. Today at the core of my heart, I would like to bless both of them to cross many more boundaries which may come their way to enter into the world of happiness and joy.

Let the rice over-flow!

It may be a matter of shame, that being a Tamil, I do not know the origins of one of the most popular festivals of the Tamils, the Pongal, celebrated yesterday. Living in a culturally uprooted environs, I sometimes forget that it was Pongal, until a friend or two call me up or send me an email note wishing 'Happy Pongal', and there is hardly any remembrance of the harvest festival in the houses I live, for the simple reason the festival does not much matter to the people of this place, and I am happy to keep it to myself! But I know I am not alone in this, all the Tamils who are outside Tamil Nadu may go through the same.

But today I wish to re-create the Pongal myth and origins, and it may just be the pigment of my imagination, but coming from an agricultural background this is what I strongly feel. The harvest festival of the Dravidian tribe reminds me of the good and bad times our ancestors had in the land, with a name 'adi dravida' (which has come to connote for the mainstream the 'low caste' people). I imagine a time when crops failed, and there was too little at the end of the harvest. The people who had been hungry for days and months, looking eagerly for the harvest to have a stomach full, brought the fruits of their labor home, pounded the paddy, and got fresh rice for cooking.

The whole family gathers at the courtyard to cook the first meal from the harvest, and ready to have have their stomachs full, after days and months. There is nothing much to add with this - no special side-dish or normal festive dishes, only the 'pongal'. The festivity is shown through rejoicing when the rice bubbles up, and over-flows from the earthen pot, and when each member of the family goes to the neighbors asking them if the rice is over-flowing! That is the beauty of this festival, not being contended with the pot full of rice, people are concerned that their neighbors also have a pot full of rice to have their full!

Pongal, as far as I am concerned, is a cultural festival, which unfortunately is appropriated by the Hindus as their religious fesitival. As in most cases, the dominant group had the tendency to appropriate all the good things from the minority groups, and probably that is what happened with Pongal too. The cultural festival had been given a religious coloring, with the addition of a few religious rituals, but leaving aside the rituals and the religious connotations they may signify, the festival is basically a cultural one, and it has to be seen as such!

I would be very happy if there is a pot-full of rice in every house in Tamil Nadu, my homeland, on this day; that there is not a single soul going hungry to bed at least on Pongal day, and it is only under such circumstances can we all celebrate the festival meaningfully. Not being content with the pot-full of rice at home, if everyone moves out of their houses, to check with the less fortunate and the unfortunate ones to ask them that proverbial question 'pongiducha?' (has the rice over-flown?), and if they get an affirmative answer, then the festival can be deemed truly meaningful!