Letting Go

To tie and untie the rope that is tied to the shore from a boat is an art, and it is only those who know how and where to tie the rope, that can sure the safety for the boat and the people who may travel. It is an art to let things go, and it might require quite an amount of learning that goes along with this art, just like every art needs to be cultivated. The best example I can think of for letting things go, is the art of swimming. It requires quite a bit of courage to jump for the first time into a tank or a pool; we should be happy if there is someone who is at our side to help us teach how to place our strides, and I had learned to swim all by myself, and at one moment even felt sinking, and had not the voice or courage to call friends who were swimming at a little distance. But luckily I managed to float and since then I know I cannot sink in water. Then the few moments of sinking was agonizing.

If one is too frightened of sinking, one may never learn to swim. The same logic also applies for those who learn driving a vehicle, either two wheelers or four wheelers. If one is too frightened of meeting with an accident, one would never dare to take the vehicle on the road; there would be something preventing that person from daring. What I would like to point to is the experience of the freedom and ease that dawns after we take the leap, to borrow a term from the existentialist philosophers. In order to experience the freedom and the ease that follows the leap, the risk is worth taking. Worries and anxieties are blocks which prevent us from experiencing the freedom and ease which is our due, but these also present to us a sense of false security, and we might cling on to them hoping they would last long. The mind can scarcely think that true freedom is in letting things go, rather than holding on to them.

The false sense of security that worries and anxieties present to us is also linked to our own existence, and we cannot think of anyone who would allow ourselves to be annihilated. We all want to live, and we believe, though erroneously, that we could live only by holding on the things we hope will keep us safe and secure. But relying on worries and anxieties is like chasing mirages, and ultimately we might land up nowhere, or might find ourselves in the same place. To let go of things is daring to take the risk, and be prepared to face whatever that might happen to us, during the moments which follow the letting go. It is a very brief moment, but very crucial, because it is during these moments that the human mind may present black as white and white as black; if we are carried away too easily by the mind, then we might not reach the other shore, we may never learn to drive.

Let me explain why worries and anxieties present to us only a sense of false security. We know only too well that worries and anxieties are related to what is yet to come, and in most cases they are only hypothetical cases, because if we know certain thing for sure, then we do not worry about them, but if there is something not known to us may take place, that sucks our energy, and at the end we are more tensed imagining what could possibly happen. The clinging to worries and anxieties is nothing but a pigment of our imagination, and there is not an iota of truth and real security. Let me also face the other side of the coin : is it possible that my life may be endangered if I let things go free? Human experience has shown that that happens but very rarely, and we may not experience such things in our lives.

In fact, worries and anxieties do not allow us to take a step forward; they are oriented towards keeping us bound to the shore, hoping one day the other shore might exchange place with this one. There is nothing potentially dangerous with worries and anxieties, but they could become cause of one’s diseases, especially those relating to the heart, food habits, allergies and mental stress and tension. This is also related to a realistic self-assessment, so that we do not assess ourselves either as too simple or as too grand. Worries and anxieties rely on the qualities and securities which do not happen in reality, they are only in the imaginative and possibility domain. Too much of calculation and estimates might not work well with letting things go free, but we may have to make decisions on the basis of reality, and act upon them instantaneously.

Burying worries

One of the most painful challenges we face in life is tackling nagging worries and anxieties. It is next to impossible to overcome them altogether, unless we have full control over them, and it is an art to take full control of what makes us worried and anxious. One might think it is easier said than done, because there is hardly any soul on earth who does not go through anxious moments and come in contact with worries. No doubt, when they are not checked in time, they could lead to depression, and that could turn out to be fatal if it becomes chronic. I am no psychologist or psychiatrist to analyse the different reasons responsible for excessive worries and anxieties, but I would like to look at them from psycho-spiritual point of view. I might sound a bit too spiritual when I begin to discuss what Jesus has to say about worries and anxieties, but the point is Jesus had a remedy for this malady which haunts several men and women of our age.

Let us turn to the Holy Bible to see what Jesus says about these unfriendly allies to human beings. “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat [or drink], or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they?” (Mt 6:25-26) … “Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil” (Mt 6:34). Jesus is addressing the problem squarely, and is it not heartening to realize that two thousand years ago, Jesus had known what our generation may be going through in an acute way! And what he tells us may not sound too profound, but if we give a serious thought to his words, we will realize that he has a serious point to make.

Jesus no doubt is making this part of the discourse in the context of dependence on God, or a superior being, if one feels the word God too intimidating. It does not require of me to tell that every human person is limited, and we have no other option than to depend on others to fulfill most of our needs and wants. Fortunately, the society we live in fulfill these needs, and there are certain other needs which we draw from our inner self. There are a few wants where we cannot look up to human persons; for instance a child who is too frightened of darkness may cling on to its mother, but when we grow into adulthood, we have to device certain mechanism to handle fear by ourselves, and in this case, we may believe and call upon God to stand close by, so that we would not experience fright. Similarly there are areas which are beyond the reach of human persons, and they are the ones where we need to look up to God for assistance.

Let me now explain the same concept from the perspective of the twentieth century ‘existentialist philosophy’. Here in this category we may recall the contributions of Jean Paul Sartre, Nietche, Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, and others. Confronted with human tragedies and predicaments, these men and women tried to find amicable ways of handling them, but not resting their faith on religious believes, but on reason and logic. Sartre might tell those who are excessively worried that they might find relief from them, only when they dare to take a leap into the unknown, and they put it figuratively as jumping into the everlasting deep hole. Is it too frightening? They are just repeating what Jesus has told the people, though here the terminology is somewhat philosophical, but the idea remains the same. Unless we are ready to let things go out of our control, we might still be tied to them.

Let me present an image for dependence on the superior power, or on God; to let things go out of our hands might sound too frightening, but it is only when we do it, can we find life bearable and meaningful. One may find safe and secure when his boat is fastened to the shore, and to let the rope go and let the boat move forward is too frightening, and anything could happen when the boat is in the middle of the river, but if one does not want to take the risk of letting things go, one might be stuck to where one was. To reach the other shore, we have to let the rope go free, and allow the boat to face the currents of the river and find its own pace and route to reach the other shore. Those who are worried too much are seeing the risks and dangers involved rather than the possibility of reaching the other shore by letting the rope go free. We shall come back to the topic again, to explain the art of letting things go.

Lonely Birds!

I dare not think about the life of a priest in a lonely parish, as is the case with many interior missions; due to the lack of priests, these men are to live alone, all by themselves, with no companion to share life in common, as is the case with any religious congregation. I also feel how they would be haunted by loneliness, and the need for a companion, with whom they could pour out their pains and agonies, joys and ecstasies. The priests are to face more loneliness if they do not get along well with the community of believers they serve; if the people turn hostile, their plight is doubled.

One of the ways how these priests attempt to overcome this sense of loneliness, is by having friends near and far, with whom they could share life through modern means of communication. I would not be surprised if the persons living alone in a remote village, has a fat telephone bill; it is his need, and that is a survival mechanism. There are also some others who try to overcome loneliness through some unhealthy practices; some develop obsessive compulsion to gluttony, some to watching films, some to sleeping. For them, to kill time is a major preoccupation.

I had been taught in my younger days that one of the best ways of overcoming loneliness is to develop a healthy hobby, on which I can fall back, whenever I feel down and forelorn. Alas for those who have not develped some healthy habits, they would find it hard to spend time usefully. I know some of my friends who know how to make use of their free time, especially when they are alone. Some write poems, some compose music, some do wonderful gardening, and all of these are profitable not only at the personal level, but also benefit the wider society. Anyone who foresees a lonely life in future should start preparing to face it already at the younger age.

But it would be wrong to think that only the diocesan priests most often feel lonely; their situations may force them to such a situation; even persons living in big communities may experience certain amount of loneliness, especially when there is no one to spoon-feed them every time. Some feel "left out", when there is no one to take good care of them; they like to be invited for meals, invited for dinner outside, or taken for an icecream. During the personal free time, some may fine it hard to while away the time. That is why gossiping is a major timepass in many religious communities.

If a person does not take care to overcome loneliness already at the early stage, then it could become a matter of major concern, because it is bound to lead to some other unhealthy social practices. What can I do in order to overcome loneliness? The best way is, to give company to the persons who feel and experience loneliness around me; for when I feel lonely, they are sure to reach out to me, and share their valuable time and energy. It is only by reaching out to one another that we can create a world where we can experience oneness and unity of all creations.

On the Lap of Universe

I realise how hard it is for us to flow with time and space, when we have our pre-planned schedules, and wish they go as we imagined it to be. When something contrary takes place, we feel nature has betrayed or circumstances have robbed us of the pleasure of our wishes taking wings. It is harder to accept when we have stacked programs one after another, and if there is one little program which falls off the stack, then the entire program falls flat, and we feel it a betrayal by nature. But if only we can let our next hour and next day be taken care of by the infinite time and space, then we feel secure! I had felt it in my bones that it is better to keep my heart open to alternative plans, when I get things organized for a program. Let me illustrate how I had learnt this lesson through the hard way, but I don't regret for it.

All my plans were set, and I had informed well ahead of time about my plans for the next three months; I had even planned days much before time, and as the days approached, I saw all my plans crumble one by one. Initially I was a bit taken aback, and even annoyed with the people who let my schedule crumble, but after a little while realised I cannot be the master of the situation. I should have the agility and ability to flow with the situations, whatever be its nature. But once I had re-programmed my mind to be prepared for any eventuality, I realised that I did not collapse when further fall took place. I could take them with a smile.

There is an inborn tendency in me to expect my plans to work out well, come what may. I would not care even if there is a loss to some one, because my plans worked out to the last letter; there is selfishness in all my plans, and I wish the whole world revolved round my little world. I want to be the centre of the universe, and want all of them to encircle me, protect me, shield me from all that is destructive. But I also imagine what would happen if all the human beings thought the same way. There could only be chaos. If there is no chaos, it is because there is a vast majority of people, who would bear all consequences, in order to keep a few millions happy. They would let their worlds crumble, so that the well-planned schedules of the mighty may stand. But unfortunately nature does not look if one is a mighty or a mean; all of them have to bear the consequences of humanity's biggest crime, self-centredness.

I realise there is a joy in floating with time and space; the whole world is at my disposal, and the whole blue sky is my home, and there are no boundaries, no divisions, no no-man's land, and no wire-fence. I am free as I was born, as I should be. The whole world is my home; night and day merge in the eternal time, as I float leisurely. I am the master of my universe in this space-time continuum. The joy that originates in such a continuum cannot be compared to the worldly happiness. I would like to imagine as if I am an eagle, which would venture into the thickest cloudsest on a stormy day, without fear. The frightening thunder and lightening may forebade me, but I am my own master. If I have to enter into such a world of sheer pleasure, then I need to give up my space and time notions and concepts. I cannot fly in the sky as the clock strikes twelve! The heart has a clock that is quite different from the temporal and spatial notions. And entering in there is heaven for sure.

Today I would like to pause for a while and think of the plans and schedules I had made for the next one week. I would like to see how adamant I am to hold fast to my schedules; Let me close my fist tightly, holding tight my schedules, plans, preparations for tests, examinations, interviews, and release the fist slowly, breathing out slowly. Let the universe take hold of me, instead of I trying to control the universe. Because the law of the universe are quite contrary to our earthly values. When I am under the control of the universe, I am my own master, for it is a joy for a mother to let her child explore the world around, and when I am on the lap of the mother universe, I have nothing to worry. She cannot afford to let me lose my face!