Not Finding the Silver Line…

It was a beautiful sight to see! About thiry men and women, young and old, surrounding a middle-aged man, and literally forcing him to act! I was part of the vocal men and women at Kolkata’s domestic airport, as we waited to catch a flight to Delhi, so that the next day we could board the flight to Brussels, via Munich. When we reached the airport at the reporting time, namely two hours before the scheduled departure, we were told by the Manager on duty of that particular airlines that the flight we had booked tickets in was cancelled, and they assured us of the full re-payment! But that was not the kind of arrangement we could ever think of. We had booked tickets through a different airlines from Delhi, and if we were to cancel the tickets at the eleventh hour, we may have to forfeit a large per cent of the ticket fare. Besides we had already informed several persons about our going, and necessary arrangments had already been made! Many of us found we were let down at the last hour by the airlines personnel.

After discussing with the manager on duty of the airlines for about thirty minutes, many of the passengers of the said flight became infuriated. We demanded the officer to start negotiating with personnel of other airlines, requesting them to offer some seats, so that at least those who were in dire need could take the flight the very day. After about an hour of coaxing and cajoling, the officer accepted to give a thought to it, thought some what indignantly. Deep within I knew we cannot afford to miss the connecting flight to international destinations, especially when the time period seemed quite difficult to make alternative arrangmenets. Helpless as I was, just like many of our co-passengers, I began to tell myself that there should be a way out, and we were going to travel the very day to Delhi, and catch the connecting international flights the next day. I was not sure if that was possible, and if the attempts of the airlines official would bear any fruit.

The fact was that there was utterly no hope; no silver lining. It was fully dark, but at such critical moments, we cannot afford to lose hope. Even if there was no chance, it was our sincere hope that things will turn out to our advantage that ultimately made it possible for 21 of us to board a later flight from a different airlines. Being part of the four hour drama, most of the time spent standing and listening to co-passengers, and occasionally clarifying a point or two, but at the end of it all, it was well worth. Even when many of my co-passengers said that ultimately everything may end up in an eye-wash, yet I was sure I was going to Delhi the very day. I did not even much care if others would go or not, but I had to go, and I would by all means go, come what may.

Just like me who had a connecting international flight, many other co-passengers too had connecting international flights, some were going to attend some international conferences. One young man made a plea with the official that his father was to be operated on the following day, and he had to be beside him. There was a young lady who was joining office for the first time after appointment on the following day, and she cannot afford to miss the first day in office. There was yet another young lady who was to meet some international business clients the following day, and she would not like to let down her partners. But more than pleas and requests, what really got us through was the sheer grit and will power that we have to be flying that very day.

Often in life it is so very easy to lose all hope, especially when we cannot see the silver line in the midst of darkest clouds, and when we give in to such hopelessness, then we end up at the dead-end. We end up more depressed and destressed. Today I would like to pause for a moment and recollect to mind the different moments when I had failed to hold on to my will-power and the hope that things will begin to smile, and the darkest clouds will begin to disappear. There could be quite a few events and incidents when I might have lost all hope, and in turn sank in disappointment. It requires a lot of guts and determination to hold on to one’s hope. We live in a world where to hold on to hope is something that is often laughed at, and frowned upon. Let me tell myself that tomorrow I will deliberately and consciously hold on to my storehouses of hope in the midst of hopelessness, and prove that there is nothing to lose for the one who hopes in the best in the worst of situations! (Munich Airport)

Maimed by Memories

One of the most treasured privileges given to humanity is the faculty of memory; it is said certain animals are also endowed with the capacity to re-member, but none can compete with the human beings. Memory is the faculty that relates the past with the present, and similarly relating future too with the present. It is the live wire that passes through every event or incident that one goes through. Once memory fails, a person becomes almost a vegetable. But think of an instance, when memory becomes the most painful reality one has to face in life; memories of the past, to be precise. In other words, when a person is imprisoned by the most painful, most excruciating memories of the past, there is very little that can be done to release the person and let him/her live in the present.

Every moment of the past is encapsulated in the memory, and strangely our memory is able to re-play the past in life-like fashion, transporting a person in time and space to the past events and incidents - to see, hear and feel the presence of the individuals involved. Unfortunately our science has not advanced sufficiently to provide access to the memory of persons other than the one possessing it. When we have such an access to the memory capsules, then probably we will device mind-right, something similar to copyright and patents. I also foresee technology that can go back in time to see, hear and sense a particular moment in the life of a person, all using mind-mapping technology. But let us leave such scientific advancements to scientists and get down to what the memory does to us in real life situations.

It will not be wrong if I were to say that memory can enliven the life of a person who has lost his closest family people; it can also leave something indelible in the heart of a person who wishes to 'forget' the most painful event of one's life. But today I am confronted with a basic question : can I ever be able to get out of the prisons of memory, so that I am able to relate to the present as it is presented to me, without being colored by the past, or being anticipated by the future. We know that every moment of the present is the outcome of the past, and is the preparation for the future, because we live in a time-continuum, which swiftly flows from one moment to another. It is actually the human mind that slices time for our convenience. It is possible to break free from the prisons of memory.

But a more important reality that I need to accept and acknowledge today is that I am a prisoner of my memories, whether good or bad, and it bewitches me whether I like or not. In other words, I have very little control over how each moment of the present is translated, or to use the computer vocabulary, encoded into the memory; it happens all by itself, without my being aware of it. But that is not bad in itself. So, let me realise that I cannot run away from the memories, but there are ways that may help one cope with them. While memories often try to imprison and control me, I may also try to control how it affects me.

Today I pause for a while and think of some of the most important memories which haunts me day in day out. In other words, can I think of a memory or two which constantly flash on my mind and disturb me - it has to be one of the most important moments of my life, which has in a sense shaped my destiny. Let me become aware of such memories, and be conscious of them. If it helps, I may also put it in a notebook, for me to look into at a later time. No, don't do anything with it for now, just become aware of it. It may be the moment when you lost your dear one, due to your negligence, or a guilt feeling that you allowed your dear one to die; one of the phrases that may come to my mind during this moment is this : If only I... Once this is done, then I am sure I am on my way to free myself from the clutches or the prison of my memories!