Subduing the Bull within

If I were to evaluate my performance as for as self-control is concerned, I would not be able to give more than 40 points out of one hundred! I understand that the points gained are rather low, which means in self-control, I am below average, and yet I might look quite in control over what is happening to me. It is difficult to assess how one is in control over one’s feelings and emotions, both positive and negative, because there are hardly any external criteria to evaluate a person; all the vital criteria are experienced interiorly. Therefore one might seem quite in control over one’s emotions, but in fact might be quite out of control regarding emotions.

Therapeutically several ways of approaches are suggested to achieve self-control, and one of the very ancient techniques is deep breathing. Often we breathe from the upper part of our chest, and seldom does the air go deep into our lungs, and come out. When we begin to breathe deeply, consciously taking the air inside, letting it rest inside the lungs for a second or two, and again consciously letting it out, we become aware of what is happening not only to our body, in our body, but also in the mind and the spirit. At that moment we become a third person, standing outside of our selves, and observing what is happening to our bodies, minds and spirits. This is a magic moment, when we are able to pick up many of the things which we would otherwise not be aware.

I am reminded of this anecdote which is told of in the context of the means of achieving self-control. Johny had been notorious in losing temper, and so his mother had taught him to take deep breath, close his eyes, and count slowly one to ten, whenever he would feel angry. So whenever he felt angry, he would close his eyes and start counting, and it was expected when he finished ten, he would be quite sober to take control over himself. But one day Johny returned home from school with a swollen face. When his mother asked what had happened, Johny said: You had told me to count one to ten, but Paul’s mother had taught him to count upto five, and so after completing five, he smashed my face and ran away!

That was only an anecdote, a joke, which should not be stretched beyond its length. But deep breathing can really help us get in touch with our inner self. Associated with this is meditation! Here by meditation I mean to imply, calming and quieting the mind. Eckhart Tolle would say in The Power of Now, that if we are able to overcome “thoughts”, then we are very close to the divine. The moments in between two thoughts is a sacred moment, and by placing ourselves as a third party, we may be able to stretch these moments, and meditation may help us achieve this. Like all disciplines, meditation will also need to be cultivated.

There is no quick solution to achieving self-control; one may have to undergo long hours of sadhana, discipline in order to bring an absolute unison between the body, the mind and the spirit. This has been one of the most often sought after salvation for many a rishis and munis. For the persons who had achieved perfect self-control can achieve anything they would wish. There is nothing impossible for them; even what is impossible becomes possible to them. It is possible that external reality has not changed much, but their minds have been moulded in such a way that they find it easy to accept whichever means takes them to perfect union of body, mind and spirit.

The 'Bull'-fight

If there is one thing that human beings are not able to fully control, it is himself/herself. The person who can control the satellites going along their orbits, often finds it hard to control himself. It is paradoxical that human beings are able to control almost everything on earth, but not themselves; and that is why human beings are capable of doing the most unexpected and most ridiculous kind of things. Besides human persons are the most unpredictable of all creatures. We often pride ourselves on the uniqueness of our creation, but looking at the entire scenario, we cannot call ourselves unique, but only abnormal and even psychotic.

Self-control is an art, everyone would agree, and not everyone is capable of mastering this serious and genuine art. Unfortunately very few schools teach this art form, and most often we are let alone to learn this art from life, out of trial and error. The ancient Indian schools, called Gurukula (literally clan of the master), had taught all arts, including this noble art, and that is the reason why most of the princes and kings who had gone through this system were able to rule with level-headedness. They were able to contain their entire self in the palm of their hands, and any amount of provocation and incitement could not make them lose their control.

Self-control is put to serious test under two vital circumstances, on the face of a deep-seated desire and at provocation on something related to one’s personality, character, morality and demeanor. When a person desires to have something dearly, unless there is a strong self-control, one is bound to lose the battle; give in to the desire, which may or may not bring dire consequences. I would like to think of a biblical example, so that I do not need to strip part of myself in illustrating this point. David had this desire to have Bathsheba, and when he is not able to control this desire for flesh, he plots to get rid of her husband Uriah. We know what happened to him then. But such a thing can also happen with things and positions, ambitions, craze for name and fame.

Most often we associate loss of self-control, when it comes to losing of temper; but it can be applied to any strong negative emotion or feeling. A uncontrollable jealousy may impel a person to kill his/her rival; a person who is not able to control one’s gluttony may die of over-eating, and so on. Thus self-control is a noble virtue, to bring to harmony between strong desires and emotions. But it is not that easy to arrive at self-control. Several rishis and munis had spent several years of tapasya, penance in order to learn the art of self-control, and still they would claim they are not able to subdue their body and mind to their spirit.

Is it possible to bring one’s body and mind under the control of one’s spirit? Will we be ever able to do what we desire from the core of our being? It is possible, and it should not take too much of one's years to master this art. But the stepping stone is to realize that one truly wishes and desires to bring the body and mind to a balanced state, where s/he would do only what is good for herself/himself and to the rest of humanity. Maybe one can start reciting this beautiful prayer for all universe : Sabka mangal (2)/Sabka mangal hoi re / Jan Jan mangal (2) / Jan Jan sukiya hoi re / Is darathi ke har ek prani / sabka mangal hoi re (2) / Tapo bhuvan ke sabi tapas / Sabka mangal hoi re (2) : The translation is : May all have well-being / May every human person / Have well-being and happiness / May every living creature / Of this earth have well-being / May all the rishis and munis / Have well-being.