Subduing the Bull within

If I were to evaluate my performance as for as self-control is concerned, I would not be able to give more than 40 points out of one hundred! I understand that the points gained are rather low, which means in self-control, I am below average, and yet I might look quite in control over what is happening to me. It is difficult to assess how one is in control over one’s feelings and emotions, both positive and negative, because there are hardly any external criteria to evaluate a person; all the vital criteria are experienced interiorly. Therefore one might seem quite in control over one’s emotions, but in fact might be quite out of control regarding emotions.

Therapeutically several ways of approaches are suggested to achieve self-control, and one of the very ancient techniques is deep breathing. Often we breathe from the upper part of our chest, and seldom does the air go deep into our lungs, and come out. When we begin to breathe deeply, consciously taking the air inside, letting it rest inside the lungs for a second or two, and again consciously letting it out, we become aware of what is happening not only to our body, in our body, but also in the mind and the spirit. At that moment we become a third person, standing outside of our selves, and observing what is happening to our bodies, minds and spirits. This is a magic moment, when we are able to pick up many of the things which we would otherwise not be aware.

I am reminded of this anecdote which is told of in the context of the means of achieving self-control. Johny had been notorious in losing temper, and so his mother had taught him to take deep breath, close his eyes, and count slowly one to ten, whenever he would feel angry. So whenever he felt angry, he would close his eyes and start counting, and it was expected when he finished ten, he would be quite sober to take control over himself. But one day Johny returned home from school with a swollen face. When his mother asked what had happened, Johny said: You had told me to count one to ten, but Paul’s mother had taught him to count upto five, and so after completing five, he smashed my face and ran away!

That was only an anecdote, a joke, which should not be stretched beyond its length. But deep breathing can really help us get in touch with our inner self. Associated with this is meditation! Here by meditation I mean to imply, calming and quieting the mind. Eckhart Tolle would say in The Power of Now, that if we are able to overcome “thoughts”, then we are very close to the divine. The moments in between two thoughts is a sacred moment, and by placing ourselves as a third party, we may be able to stretch these moments, and meditation may help us achieve this. Like all disciplines, meditation will also need to be cultivated.

There is no quick solution to achieving self-control; one may have to undergo long hours of sadhana, discipline in order to bring an absolute unison between the body, the mind and the spirit. This has been one of the most often sought after salvation for many a rishis and munis. For the persons who had achieved perfect self-control can achieve anything they would wish. There is nothing impossible for them; even what is impossible becomes possible to them. It is possible that external reality has not changed much, but their minds have been moulded in such a way that they find it easy to accept whichever means takes them to perfect union of body, mind and spirit.