Lords of my Life

We do not want anyone to lord over us, and that is the most insulting and humiliating thing that we can think of. Even when we work in an office as a subsidiary to someone else, we feel that she should be treated with dignity and honor, that befits every human person. Just because I am subordinate to someone else, does not necessarily mean that this person can treat me as s/he wants. When my dignity and honor are in stake, I may find ways of getting out of such situation, unless I am ready to face all humiliation and dishonor in order to cling to the job. Sometimes it is a question of survival vis-à-vis living with dignity.

If that is the case with most of us, when it comes to handling problems, difficulties and challenges, especially related to human relations, we often tend to let others take full control over us. In other words, we joyfully and unconditionally hand over the key to our inner self to others, and when they begin to control us, we feel bad for dancing according to their tunes. Most often we tend to behave according to the expectations of others, and that is the reason why it is so very easy to make us happy or unhappy. Others know what can make us tickly with joy, and what can bring tears in our eyes, and they would make use of this formula wisely in order to get the maximum out of us.

My proposition in the above paragraphs may have remained still a riddle; let me put it across plainly. I have realized that I take the words, behaviors and response of people towards me so very seriously, that everything they say or do to me affects me, positively or negatively. I could check for myself: how easy it is to make me float in the clouds of happiness; a few words of appreciation or flattery is all that is required. Or how easy it is to make my blood boil – a few words of contempt, of indifference, or insult. In either case, I have given the key to my secret inner self to others, and they can make me either happy or sad, as they wish, and they are absolutely sure I would respond to them as expected. Is it not a sad situation?

In such circumstances, our life becomes just a monkey play; if the keeper were to tell me something, I would do it promptly. If he asks me to jump, I would do; if he asks me to kick him, I would do, without thinking if I should really do what he tells me. But is it possible for me to respond differently? Of course I can, and there is not a single soul on earth who can question me why I responded differently. It is all a matter of re-programming my mind, so that when I get impulses which can either make me happy or sad, I tell myself that I would not be carried away by the impulses. Giving in to either of the impulses can lead me to doom, and I can find hundreds of examples for this.

Ultimately what would I want to do? I should not allow anyone to control me, through prompting a particular kind of impulses. It would be safe for me to defy their impulses and be what I am, and what I wish to be. In other words I should not be easily carried away by the words and actions of others; they may say whatever they may wish to, but I can still decide to take it or not, and to be moved by it or not. This is the situation when I truly become a spiritual person, not disturbed by praise or blame, and Bhagavad Gita would say that such are the persons dear to the Lord. When I do not allow myself to be touched and controlled by what others say and do, then I hold the key to my inner self, and am truly the master/mistress of my soul, and that is when I truly begin to live my life.

The 'Bull'-fight

If there is one thing that human beings are not able to fully control, it is himself/herself. The person who can control the satellites going along their orbits, often finds it hard to control himself. It is paradoxical that human beings are able to control almost everything on earth, but not themselves; and that is why human beings are capable of doing the most unexpected and most ridiculous kind of things. Besides human persons are the most unpredictable of all creatures. We often pride ourselves on the uniqueness of our creation, but looking at the entire scenario, we cannot call ourselves unique, but only abnormal and even psychotic.

Self-control is an art, everyone would agree, and not everyone is capable of mastering this serious and genuine art. Unfortunately very few schools teach this art form, and most often we are let alone to learn this art from life, out of trial and error. The ancient Indian schools, called Gurukula (literally clan of the master), had taught all arts, including this noble art, and that is the reason why most of the princes and kings who had gone through this system were able to rule with level-headedness. They were able to contain their entire self in the palm of their hands, and any amount of provocation and incitement could not make them lose their control.

Self-control is put to serious test under two vital circumstances, on the face of a deep-seated desire and at provocation on something related to one’s personality, character, morality and demeanor. When a person desires to have something dearly, unless there is a strong self-control, one is bound to lose the battle; give in to the desire, which may or may not bring dire consequences. I would like to think of a biblical example, so that I do not need to strip part of myself in illustrating this point. David had this desire to have Bathsheba, and when he is not able to control this desire for flesh, he plots to get rid of her husband Uriah. We know what happened to him then. But such a thing can also happen with things and positions, ambitions, craze for name and fame.

Most often we associate loss of self-control, when it comes to losing of temper; but it can be applied to any strong negative emotion or feeling. A uncontrollable jealousy may impel a person to kill his/her rival; a person who is not able to control one’s gluttony may die of over-eating, and so on. Thus self-control is a noble virtue, to bring to harmony between strong desires and emotions. But it is not that easy to arrive at self-control. Several rishis and munis had spent several years of tapasya, penance in order to learn the art of self-control, and still they would claim they are not able to subdue their body and mind to their spirit.

Is it possible to bring one’s body and mind under the control of one’s spirit? Will we be ever able to do what we desire from the core of our being? It is possible, and it should not take too much of one's years to master this art. But the stepping stone is to realize that one truly wishes and desires to bring the body and mind to a balanced state, where s/he would do only what is good for herself/himself and to the rest of humanity. Maybe one can start reciting this beautiful prayer for all universe : Sabka mangal (2)/Sabka mangal hoi re / Jan Jan mangal (2) / Jan Jan sukiya hoi re / Is darathi ke har ek prani / sabka mangal hoi re (2) / Tapo bhuvan ke sabi tapas / Sabka mangal hoi re (2) : The translation is : May all have well-being / May every human person / Have well-being and happiness / May every living creature / Of this earth have well-being / May all the rishis and munis / Have well-being.

Name the Devil!

Let me acknowledge I am notorious for not remembering names, even of people who had been interacting with me for days and months. And to be frank, I don't make any serious effort to remember names of peoples. And what is strange, I can remember the names of some people, without any effort, even after our first meeting, I know the name of the person, and can remember even after weeks and months. That only shows how my mind works! Surely the mind captures and registers the names of only the persons who really matter to me! Not any Tom, Dick and Harry, or any Mary Kutty, Sonali and Rupali! The mind has its own logic, some times quite queer and wierd, but that is how it works!

I know how important it is to name persons and things. Names represent the person, and his/her identity. To remember the name of a person is to say that I care for him/her, and if I don't or can't remember a person's name, that simply shows that person does not much matter to me (at least in the same way as I matter to him/her)! If naming matters greatly in human relationships, it matters all the more in handling what goes on deep within! A person who can name what goes on deep within, also knows how to manage life, its tough storms and thunder, rain and shine! But it is an art to really name the intricate play of reason and feeling, which incessantly run on the mindscape.

I had said in my earlier blog that fear holds the key to the downfall of many of our dreams, to the destruction of all that we are capable of! When fear takes charge of my being, I become just a victim of all the persons and situations around me, a helpless victim, who has but no control over anything whatsoever. I had also said that one way of overcoming the imposing power of fear, is by recognizing it attempting to cripple my life little by little, and that will lead me to defeat fear! But still one may not be too sure that the fear has left him/her for good. There is a way to make that sure.

If I don't stop with recognizing fear, but attempt to name each one of them, that is where I not only exorcise fear from my inner being, but also remove it from its roots. That is the way to make fear powerless, that is the way to cripple fear, before it cripples me. Most often fear exists in us in a nebulous way, and it is hard to really hold it. The moment when you thought you had caught hold of it, it slips from your hand, and you are caught chasing the wind uselessly. But wait for the fear to approach you, and don't go in search of it! It will knock at your door when you least expect it; if you are prepared to tackle it, then you will catch it before it enters into your room.

Put that label, which best fits the fear that is attempting to overpower you, and stick it on to it, and your job is done. You can then rest in peace, for there is nothing more that you need to do. It works like a magic; fear will depart you the very moment it is named and labelled. By naming it, you have exerted power and control over it, and it cannot chase you any longer. You are the master of the situation now, and it will do your bidding, whatever that may be. From that moment onwards, fear will fear you, and will even run away from you, for fear you should put it to shame. Be bold enough to bid a joyful farewell to fear, for when fear departs from you, the doors of happiness and peace are opened wide for you to enter!

On the Lap of Universe

I realise how hard it is for us to flow with time and space, when we have our pre-planned schedules, and wish they go as we imagined it to be. When something contrary takes place, we feel nature has betrayed or circumstances have robbed us of the pleasure of our wishes taking wings. It is harder to accept when we have stacked programs one after another, and if there is one little program which falls off the stack, then the entire program falls flat, and we feel it a betrayal by nature. But if only we can let our next hour and next day be taken care of by the infinite time and space, then we feel secure! I had felt it in my bones that it is better to keep my heart open to alternative plans, when I get things organized for a program. Let me illustrate how I had learnt this lesson through the hard way, but I don't regret for it.

All my plans were set, and I had informed well ahead of time about my plans for the next three months; I had even planned days much before time, and as the days approached, I saw all my plans crumble one by one. Initially I was a bit taken aback, and even annoyed with the people who let my schedule crumble, but after a little while realised I cannot be the master of the situation. I should have the agility and ability to flow with the situations, whatever be its nature. But once I had re-programmed my mind to be prepared for any eventuality, I realised that I did not collapse when further fall took place. I could take them with a smile.

There is an inborn tendency in me to expect my plans to work out well, come what may. I would not care even if there is a loss to some one, because my plans worked out to the last letter; there is selfishness in all my plans, and I wish the whole world revolved round my little world. I want to be the centre of the universe, and want all of them to encircle me, protect me, shield me from all that is destructive. But I also imagine what would happen if all the human beings thought the same way. There could only be chaos. If there is no chaos, it is because there is a vast majority of people, who would bear all consequences, in order to keep a few millions happy. They would let their worlds crumble, so that the well-planned schedules of the mighty may stand. But unfortunately nature does not look if one is a mighty or a mean; all of them have to bear the consequences of humanity's biggest crime, self-centredness.

I realise there is a joy in floating with time and space; the whole world is at my disposal, and the whole blue sky is my home, and there are no boundaries, no divisions, no no-man's land, and no wire-fence. I am free as I was born, as I should be. The whole world is my home; night and day merge in the eternal time, as I float leisurely. I am the master of my universe in this space-time continuum. The joy that originates in such a continuum cannot be compared to the worldly happiness. I would like to imagine as if I am an eagle, which would venture into the thickest cloudsest on a stormy day, without fear. The frightening thunder and lightening may forebade me, but I am my own master. If I have to enter into such a world of sheer pleasure, then I need to give up my space and time notions and concepts. I cannot fly in the sky as the clock strikes twelve! The heart has a clock that is quite different from the temporal and spatial notions. And entering in there is heaven for sure.

Today I would like to pause for a while and think of the plans and schedules I had made for the next one week. I would like to see how adamant I am to hold fast to my schedules; Let me close my fist tightly, holding tight my schedules, plans, preparations for tests, examinations, interviews, and release the fist slowly, breathing out slowly. Let the universe take hold of me, instead of I trying to control the universe. Because the law of the universe are quite contrary to our earthly values. When I am under the control of the universe, I am my own master, for it is a joy for a mother to let her child explore the world around, and when I am on the lap of the mother universe, I have nothing to worry. She cannot afford to let me lose my face!