Shoes for Sharing

'To get into the shoes of another' is a beautiful little expression in English, but to do that is not as simple as it might sound! While attempting to get into the shoes of others, we have often experienced that the shoes are either too big or too small. Very seldom we come across shoes of another which just fit into my feet! But then, whom can I blame if the shoes are either too big or too small; and is it possible for me to cut my toes to fit into the shoes? These questions may sound silly at the first look, but behind them is a truth that we have to come to terms joyfully, in order to make meaning out of our relationship with others.

Let us get into a detailed analysis of this expression : shoes! One thing is certain: we do not check the shoes size of others, before we begin our relationship journey. It is only after embarking on a life-long journey do we come to know about the size of the shoes, and often we may have to make slight adjustments in order to comfortably share shoes! Two of my sisters often exchange their clothes, since both of them are of same height and weight, and they have no problem in sharing the clothes. So there is no problem with their dressing; but there would be a problem if the clothes do not fit into both. In that case they should be satisfied with only their clothes!

After purchasing a new pair of shoes two years ago, I realized that it was too tight for my feet, and felt quite uneasy wearing it. But when I asked the shop-keeper, he said that once I start wearing, it would become quite loose. Any relationship may be strained at the beginning; it would take quite sometime for the partners to get used to each other. Once they begin to realize the pulse with each other, the shoes begin to give in, and they will not hurt the feet either. Sometimes we may be too harsh on the shoes for not fitting into the feet, and we may find ways to make it give into the feet. Some may try even oil on the edges of the shoes to make them supple, in order to let the feet get in freely.

In order to get into the shoes of another, I am required first of all to leave behind my own pair of shoes; if I am too attached to my shoes, I will never be able to get into the shoes of another. This implies that I should be prepared to leave behind my shoes in order to get into that of another; who knows I may not even like to get back to my own shoes in the future. I may become so accostomed to the shoes of another that I may not like to take back my shoes. I might let another person use it rather. If this were to happen, then I should be happy, because there is newness in me, and a fresh viewpoint might have taken charge of the other.

But what if the other person does not permit me to get into his/her shoes? Can I legitimately force myself to get into another's shoes? Probably I should never force myself to get into another's shoes, but invite the other person to permit me to take a try. It is not that my feet will fit perfectly with every other shoe I come across. After trying, I may say that my feet do not fit into the shoes, and therefore let another person try. With persons who are close to us, we can take the liberty to get into their shoes, sometimes even without their consent, so long my getting into to the shoes of the other is not going to make the person nervous, lose sense of direction in life, and finds it hard to get back to the normal rhythm of life.