Pilgrimage of Life

Traditionally for centuries, human life has been compared to a pilgrimage, a journey in solitude! It was a spiritual journey, on the way to the inner self, as it were. During the Middle Ages, such a journey was undertaken with great care and diligence; it was not a matter people could play with. John Bunyan, who wrote the classic The Pilgrim’s Progress had presented such a noble picture of the journey to the center of one’s own self, and many a holy men and women had traced his path in order to attain self-fulfillment, or to put in a Christian terminology, their own salvation. The word pilgrimage carries the spiritual tone implied in the act of journeying in spirit. If life is a pilgrimage, then we should know where we are heading to, our point of arrival.

It has been said several times by holy people that what is most important in the pilgrimage is not so much the arrival at the point of destination, but the journey itself. There might be only a handful of men and women, who might reach the destination, but “salvation” is in undertaking the journey and committing oneself to walk towards the destination with all sincerity. Life would present several sub-ways and glamorous pathways as we proceed on the journey, and there might be people whom we would meet on the way, and they might request our company. But if we keep obliging all the people we meet on the way, it could be possible that we might ‘miss the bus’, and land up in some other place. Saying no to what comes on the way is important in any journey.

It is not that all that we come across during the course of this journey is bad or evil; there are a lot of people who reach out to us with all sincerity and honesty, with the genuine sense of helping us out when we struggle, and we cannot afford to suspect their intentions. But anything which may distance us from the path that we have chosen voluntarily should be avoided, if we want to be faithful to our journey. Learning to say “no” with a smile is an art that we all need to learn early in life, in order to find fulfillment and satisfaction. If there are people who are easily pulled and pushed by the different pressures on life’s journey, might land up desolate and alone, and there might be no one at times to give them the solace and comfort that they might have been frantically seeking.

This is a pilgrimage with no point of return; we cannot change our mind midway. It is a deliberate decision that we take that we would walk all the way, without turning back. And probably that is what Jesus said to his disciple that anyone who puts his hand on the plough and looks back is not fit for the kingdom of Heaven. Unfortunately it is not as easy as said; fragile and vulnerable as we are, trials and tribulations are sure to come our way and we might be tempted to turn back and run towards the familiar grounds; who wants to face the unfamiliar and harsh realities of life. But considering a return to the point from where we had begun our journey is equal to accepting defeat, and in life one can hardly walk backwards; one can either walk forward or lie down eternally on the path. It is for us to decide if we want to forge ahead or accept defeat and lie on the ground.

The eyes of the pilgrim are fixed on the destination, and there is nothing which can distract his eyes from the point, and as he takes every step, he is happy that he had walked such a long distance, and therefore the distance ahead does not come as a threat to him. When one of the great men who had reached the peaks of an enormously high mountain with just one foot, the would could not believe its eyes. They rushed to him and asked him how he managed with just a single foot to scale the entire altitude of the mountain, and his simple answer was, “I hopped just one step at a time!” What a wonderful answer; we need not worry about the hundreds of kilometers that we need to travel before reaching a point of rest, all that we need to do is to take just one step at a time, and sooner or later we might discover that we are not far from the destination!

Showers of Blessing

It is quite interesting to observe how it rains in some places and not in some other; a few minutes before we began our journey, the sky was dark, and we were sure it would pour quite heavily. Therefore we preponed our journey, so that we might not be caught by the rain. But some half an hour later, the rain was nowhere to be seen. As we got out of the city, we came across dry ground, and not a drop of water was there. Where has the rain gone, and why did it not rain here? I was asking myself. How is it nature is so insensitive to the suffering and pain of the people? We cannot force the rain to come down on a particular place and not another. Maybe that is a grace in disguise.

Fortunately rain is something that one cannot make claim over, and no one can hoard it in the godowns, storerooms and warehouses. Luckily rain cannot be bought and sold in the open market; it is not yet a commodity which can be auctioned, and handed over to the highest bidder. Is it not something beautiful that some of the most beautiful things on earth are beyond the reach and control of the human beings – the rain, the shine, the moonlight, the movement of the winds and pressures, the movement of the sun and the moon, the growth of plants, the inner dynamics of the human body and mind. Thank God, no one can put a copyright to the monsoon rains.

Though much of the natural resources had been at the disposal of humanity, God had not given control over these resources, which are far more significant and noteworthy, than the minerals, water, and the natural resources, such as the flora and fauna. I cannot imagine what the situation on earth would be if someone had a copyright over rain and the air we breathe, and we would have been paying through our nose to even to breathe and to get wet in the first rains of the season. Now we know that God is a wise person, who knew that if the human beings were to have control over these, they would have made a mess of them, and therefore he decided not to let them mess with his great gifts.

The many attempts of scientists and technicians to bring down artificial rain have met with utter failure; human beings have learned that there are at least a few things in the universe, where they do not have the last word, and have to turn to the great power. Sometimes it may appear that the poor peasants and farmers get far too little rain than the people who are responsible for desertification and deforestation; but if we look at the phenomenon carefully, we would realize that it is not the case always. There might be rare exceptions, but by and large, nature is far more generous to the poor than to those who can afford to go without it.

Rain has been one of the signs of God’s blessing from time immemorial, and even today simple people consider it a special blessing of God, and without his mercy, we may not have rain for months and even years. This is one of the prerogatives of God, and we can get it only from him, and there is no shortcut to receiving this gift. The first drops of rain are considered to contain the sweetness of the heavens, and they are believed to contain healing power – scientifically, the first rains contain minerals which have the capacity to bring healing and wholeness to persons. Today I pray for this rain to the Lord of the rains, to shower his blessings on the people who yearn for it.

Mama Mia!

Ever since I began my long journey from Chennai to Kolkata, my mother had been faithfully carrying out one ritual. The day I board the train, she would wake up early in the morning, some days it is as early as half past three, and would prepare food packets for my journey. I do not like the food available at the pantry car in the train, but love to have home-cooked food, and I do not need to remind my mother about this, even before I could tell her, she is prepared to get things ready for me. I really wonder how many people would be prepared to sacrifice sleep and do this for me; I know a couple of others may also do this for me without my asking, but I feel sad to ask my mother to do this for me any longer, due to her health conditions.

I know my mother gets the best of what is available for me, and sometimes my niece had been telling me that more special dishes are prepared at home when I am there, and that she was envious of it. Most often we take for granted the goodness of people around us, who slog to make our lives a little more enjoyable; the hardship, pain and suffering that the parents go through is most often not recognized. I wonder if there is any other way of life or profession which is more unrecognized, unrewarded than that of being parents. In the case of my mother, after sending me with food that she had cooked for my journey, she would make it a point to know if the food was alright on the way… Such is the care that my mother shows towards me.

I have seen the worst happening to my mother, and there were several occasions when she single-handedly shielded the five of us siblings from the onslaught of my uncle, who under the influence of alcohol chased us out of our home. My father being in military service was not available close at hand to take good care of us, but my mother was to play many roles during our young formative years. Herself almost illiterate, she did not know how to express her love for the children, and there were several occasions during my younger days when I had felt that she did not love me sufficiently, and had even shared this with my elder brother once. It took me many years to understand that her love for me was no less.

It is true that I never got a letter written by my mother, because she could not write; she managed to learn to sign her name, and just a few years ago was learning the read the Bible, and therefore it would be unfair to expect a letter written by her. She would dictate a letter to either my brothers or sister and they would write the same. There was not a single time that my mother visited me in the boarding house I spent four years in, and my father visited only at the time of admission. When I would see all the other friends receiving parents and relatives from home on Sundays, I could not think this would happen in my case. I knew for sure I could not expect my mother to find the place, the route for which was quite complicated. And yet I have no regrets for not visiting me even once.

During the holidays this time, on several occasions I had noticed that when my father and I would be resting, she would be in the kitchen preparing some special snacks for me. Given that she has high blood pressure, and sugar, she needed sufficient rest, and yet she was happy to give her best for me. In fact she would do the same for all my other brothers and sister too. Some years ago, I had felt that she was partial towards two of my siblings, but now I know she loves and cares for all of us equally. There is great joy in my mother when offering her best for me and my other brothers and sister, and she would go all the way to do it, if she could. Her own comfort and priorities were only secondary to our well-being. I am thankful to God for such a wonderful mother.

Authoring Ambition

At my age, probably it is not easy for me to vibe with a young girl of 16; times have changed and so also are people and their thinking. My niece today thinks about herself, her future much more than I did when I was at her age. Her concerns today are quite different from mine some three decades ago. Though it is not a good idea to compare people from two different epochs, and yet I feel certain things in life cannot be ignored or taken lightly. Ambition is the hallmark of this generation, and every young man and woman today may swear by it. But it is for us to realize that the very word ‘ambition’ has been much maligned after Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, and therefore it needs some qualification.

Unfortunately ambition is considered something that we should not give in to, because the fruit of ambition could be the fate of Caesar or Brutus. The modern generation, however, is not going to accept the theory of Shakespeare, which is some five hundred years old; modern thinkers and sages might just propose a contrary theory, saying that anyone who does not have ambitions may not succeed in life. The concept of thinking big is in reality an offshoot of this kind of thinking, which is fast catching up among the youth. It has not spared my niece either, though her ambitions are most often toned and molded by family members and friends. But there is fear that this ambition might go out of control if it is not kept under certain tension.

Choosing between two schools is indeed an important factor to realize the dreams and ambitions students nurture deep within; however the schools are merely the media which provide the proper ambience for nurturing of the dreams. The schools are only instruments in shaping the destiny of the youth, but they do not determine the destiny. It would be fatal if we were to consider that the schools are ultimately responsible for our future orientation. For a student who is serious about his/her dreams and ambitions, any school maybe good enough to flower forth, and for a frivolous one even the best of schools may not help much to reach the dreams.

I realized how the peer pressure could throttle the steady growth and nurturing of these dreams in the youth, when a few phone calls threw my niece haywire; it is true that friends would love to stay together and support one another during their school days; however they would soon realize that they cannot stick together all the way; sometime or other their ways will part, and each one will have to find his/her own way. Her friends had informed her that they were joining a “good school” as opposed to the “bad school” that my niece was joining. This thought that she was not admitted into a good school had caused enough of tears, and it took quite a while to make her understand that what makes real difference is self-determination and hard work, and not merely the schools.

The dreams and ambitions of the youth cannot be shaped by peer pressure or convenience; sometimes we hear young people wishing to be what their friends wish; this is a temporary arrangement, and it will soon fail, because the interests and orientations of each youth vary considerably. There are a lot more calculations and reading the signs of the times, which help the parents and other family members to arrive at a particular path to help the youth to reach the goal they have set for themselves. Trust in the guidance of the family, especially of parents, will be a great asset in this lonesome journey of the youth, and it is sure to bear rich dividends at the end. The youth will need to fall back on the resources of this trust and confidence in the near ones, especially when the going is tough. I believe this has been a tough moment for my niece, but I know she understands the dynamics of this process.

Trip through Grace History

It is a wonderful experience to go through the Grace History of each one from time to time; unfortunately after the initial stages of formation at religious life, most of us do not revisit our Grace Histories; some of us may be fortunate to revisit them when we attend some sort of refresher courses. But luckily our Grace History continues in wondrous and mysterious ways, sometimes we may not even pause to take stock of the ways how we are led by God. We are sure to find the footprints of God in every Grace History, and therefore every Grace History is sacred, not only to the persons concerned, but to everyone, who believe in God. It is part of the Universal Heritage that we leave for generations after us.

Maybe I should explain what I mean by Grace History. This is a ‘narrative’ of each one’s journey in faith, how we had been led by the powerful hand of God through thick and thin, and to realize that we are safe under his wings, to borrow a phrase from the Psalmist. Thus every one’s life story is a Grace-story, and we can be proud of our stories, with all the joyful and sorrowful moments. If we look at the most important and significant moments of our life’s journey, we will realize that there had always been an invisible, powerful hand protecting us from all the dangers we had been subjected to, by our own follies or by the vile plans of others. Grace History in other words shows us our road map, the path we had trodden, and that gives us strength to walk forward.

I wish we get more opportunities to visit our Grace Histories more often, not necessarily to find fault with the people who make our life miserable, nor to blame ourselves for the opportunities we missed, nor to regret for commissions and omissions. I remember some years ago we had begun in our Province, what was called ‘live-in’ meetings, and these were wonderful moments for us. Similar age-group men met together for a heart-to-heart conversation; as we reviewed our journeys, we realized that many of our paths intersected at several points, and we felt deeply moved by the histories of several of our friends, and that brought us closer to one another.

I remember there were times, when some of our friends were sharing their Grace History they were on the verge of breaking down. Narrating our Grace Histories is also cathartic (remember the Greek notion of Catharsis, meaning purging), and it purges us of the impurities, short-sightedness, and help us to remove the dust out of our bright spots, and let the light shine. However it is painstaking to enter into a serious and sincere narration of our Grace Histories, because it involves our own failures and successes, pain and agonies, joys and ecstasies, the role of self and others in the course of the journey. Therefore my Grace History is a tiny bit of the history of this world, history of humanity.

Often in life, we have a tendency to only look at the dark spots of life, and refuse to take note of the bright spots, the spots which had been giving light to our journey forward. Though the dark spots are integral to our journey, they alone cannot make our journey; the light and the shadows together make our Grace History. The dark spots may show to us our action, and the bright spots the action of God, and that is sure to help us realize that we are led forward according to a divine plan, and not merely by chance, as agnostics and atheists might claim. It is a great consolation to realize that I have a Grace History that I can share with others, and that our histories intersect, helping us to walk forward hand in hand.

Trifling with the Third (SS 09)

Calvary is almost reached, but there is no more energy left in the body, and as I look at your frail body limping step by step with the burden of the cross, you look at your final destination : the hillock which will immortalize you for all generations to come! But when you fall to the ground for the third time, I know you are at the fag end of your journey, and you can stretch it no longer! The good news is that Calvary is just a few feet away, but the bad news is that you may make it only with great difficulty! Not all soldiers are harsh and cruel to you; maybe there was one soldier, who had a little sympathy for you, and he helps you rise up from the ground, and gives his hand to move forward! Not everyone on earth is bad, I know! Thanks to these sympathetic men and women, we still experience humane treatment.

Most often I get annoyed with people who cannot stop their falls; they keep falling endlessly, until there is no more energy left in their bodies. And yet I cannot stop cursing and shouting at them, because I know if only they put a little more effort, they could have prevented the fall, but your third fall demonstrates before my very eyes that even when the spirit is strong, the flesh may still be weak, and sometimes too weak to with-hold! How beautifully the Savior had accepted his third fall; he knows that it is the reign of darkness, and he had nothing more to do than submit to the whims and fancies of the king of darkness. Helplessness and weakness have crippled him to this state!

When I fall on life’s journey again and again, quite often without myself wanting them, I feel terribly depressive and annoying! I cannot understand my own inclinations and vile attractions, some of which seem to have grown as I grew into adulthood! I cannot blame anyone for the state I am in, and I have to accept all that I am and all that I have, wholly and completely, without any ifs and buts. Then actual life is not as simple as that! I cannot complete even a single paragraph of writing without using ifs and buts, conditions have become my favorite, not only in the blogs, but also in life, and I live thanks to the ifs and buts!

I cannot imagine the Savior using ifs and buts, not only in his speech, but also in his life; if that were the case, then my fate would have been quite different. How do I treat a person who has ran out of all his/her resources, and stands before me seeking shelter and security, be it moral, social or spiritual! It may not be easy to seek such a person with a warm smile, and a bouquet, but then what would be the plight of this person if I were to throw him out of my household? Could I ever be so very hard-hearted as to refuse the little what I can possibly give? The earth has been so very kind and generous to receive the Son of Man with her outstretched arms! Would I do the same with the people who come me for help?

There is an innate tendency in me to keep fighting against all odds, even when I know for sure that I am fighting a losing battle; quite often I tell myself that what matters is not so much the success or failure in such a battle, but the fact that I participate in it whole heartedly, that is what really matters. If that be the case, then it would be rather easy to give up when all my resources run dry; but how could I handle the false pride and arrogance which may not permit me to give up fighting, and accept defeat, knowing well I had done my best to fight against the external forces working against me. I realize that embracing defeat in life does not necessarily mean I accept failure and defeat!

After every fall the weight of the cross seems to be increasing manifold, and the weight of the wooden frame seem to be pressing upon him. The will power in him is strong still, and that is the reason why he does not give it up; he puts his foot forward and knows for sure that he may stumble and fall, together with the cross. The determination and the will power that he had made him complete his journey, though with three falls! For a man whose body has been torn apart by the flagellations and crown of thorns, who had been whipped throughout the journey, the scorching sun added insult to injury, and he would still accept it, because it is through this kind of falls and rises that he is to enter into his glory!

I am too frightened of placing myself in your position and imagining the way of the Cross; the very thought of it makes me sweat. But you had warned me much in advance that unless I carry my cross and follow you, I cannot enter into the kingdom of heaven! Even after your third fall, you had the determination to rise up and continue your journey, though with much pain and agony. Often after my fall, I have no strength and energy left in me to rise up and walk further; I wish to give up hope and surrender defeat, but your demonstration of so much of will power pushes me to fix my eyes onto Calvary and keep moving! I remember your words, anyone who has put his hands on the plow and looks back is not worthy of the kingdom! How true you are!

Falsifying Falls (SS 03)

I cannot afford to fall in life, and if I do, then that would be the end of my honor, fame, the good name which I had been treasuring all these years, and here I see the Son of God falling to the ground with his Cross, and I take courage to look at his bruised face, he does not regret for falling, to face the shame and humiliation of falling on the ground. Has he become so immune or inhuman not to feel the pain and agony, not only physical, but more so the mental and psychological? Who wants to fall on life’s journey, and who does not blame the whole world for falling? But here is a very different scene, the Savior falling to the ground and yet there is not a word of complaint or blame-game or accusation of those who had condemned him to this situation.

Even as he carries the heavy burden of the Cross, pressing him down to the very earth he had sanctified over the past three years, and his frail body giving way, his spirit is still strong (I remember his golden words even as he walked to the Garden of Gethsemane : the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak!); it is the strong will power which propels him to fix his eyes on the Calvary, as he staggers step by step. But then he probably knew about the impending fall, and he does not take any extraordinary precaution not to fall; the weak body has very little strength and energy left, and he cannot hold himself anymore, and therefore allows himself to fall, and as he falls, I can see the Mother Earth spreading her palms to hold her child, he does not protest, he kisses the ground and rises again to walk further.

Is it not ironic to not only imagining but also witnessing the Son of God so weak and fragile that he falls to the ground because of the weight of the Cross? The world cannot accept fall, under whatever circumstance it be; to fall is to give into one’s follies and vices. One cannot afford to fall, leave alone lie down on the earth, unable to rise up. I frown upon anyone who has fallen, and they cannot be considered worthy citizens of this earth; they are lesser human beings, because of their fall due to yielding to their vices and sins. I have very little regard for those who have fallen “from grace”, and are trying to get back to their toes.

But the problem with me is that I cannot think of falling, and cannot accept even myself falling to the ground, either due to my own vices and sins, or because of the faults of others. If that be the case, then am I saner and more sacred than the man from Nazareth? If Jesus could allow himself to fall, what prevents me from accepting my own falls, even if that means due to the faults of others; after all, the fall is not everything; there is life after fall, and that is what the Savior reminds me of. When a friend of mine applies for the admission of his son or daughter, he approaches me to recommend his case to the concerned principal, so that his son or daughter is not deprived of a seat, “just in case” the child fails to fare well in the interview! I cannot afford to fail.

I have an incorrigible tendency to look down upon everyone who had fallen in life, I consider them not fit for life, while I conceal every time I fall, lest others think that I am too fragile and weak, which I am. I think of the numerous moments when I had fallen without knowing, and was not even aware that I had fallen, and there were helping hands coming from all corners to raise me up, and put me on the track. How wonderful it is to have people who do not show an accusing finger at me when I fall, but provide me with the much needed push to stand up and continue my walk! My greatest consolation is that these are people who would not run away the moment I fall to the ground, but stand by me to raise me when I fall. They are truly God-sent!

It is so easy for me to find fault with all those who had fallen in life, and are struggling to rise up and move forward, though the weight of the cross may be pressing upon them. I have all the resources to rise up, but the Savior had none to give that much needed helping hand; he had to look up to the Father, to gain the strength to rise up with the Cross. As I gaze into the eyes of the Lord, I remember my own falls, and the falls of all the people I am associated with; how many times have I been the cause of the fall of others, how often have I pushed people to fall to the ground, and was rejoicing at their fall? I feel sad for such moments!

You do not regret for falling to the ground, even as your already bruised body gives into more fresh blood oozing all over your frail body! You have no words of accusation or blame! I am no better than the bystanders who never stopped accusing you of what you were innocent of! Though I keep falling on life’s journey, I cannot bear people falling, even without their fault. Falls are part of life, and they may open up the floodgates of grace from your Spirit, because it is when I am weak that I can experience the power of your death and resurrection. I would like to extend my hand to raise up the many of my neighbors, because these are the very people who had been my strength and energy, when I fall to the ground. I kiss the ground sanctified by your fall, for this is the starting point of my little journey to my own Calvary!

Play and Pause! (2.b)

Eckhart Tolle is one of my favorite authors, and his seminal work The Power of Now put me in an altogether different mental disposition. I began to look at reality of the mental magic with a different perspective, thanks to Tolle’s inspiring words. Today I am going to put into practice something of what Tolle has recommended in his book, The Power of Now, because that would be the gateway to enter into the third phase of our inward journey, to the Spirit. I have already relaxed my body, and have become conscious of the magic and miracle that the human mind is capable of, but beyond these magic and miracles is another realm of the mindstream, by which I mean an endless flow of “noise” which can obstruct me from reality, and entry into the core of my being.

I would like to become conscious of how my mind works, because most often I take this for granted. I seldom pause for a while to realize what my mind does and how much of control I really have on my mindstream! I sit quietly in my room or any place where I feel comfortable, and close my eyes if that helps me, and remain still for a while. Then I begin to become conscious of what my mind is preoccupied with, without trying to control what it thinks. I will be an external observer, as if I am watching a movie of what is happening on my mindscreen. I would not make any value judgment if what the mind is thinking about is good or bad! I just observe the mind’s movements for about five minutes.

I realize that there is no better non-stop chatter-box on earth than the human mind, my mind. It moves from one thought to another, sometimes coherently, some other times incoherently. Sometimes it projects thoughts which are meaningful, some other times, sheer meaningless, useless thoughts. There are socially acceptable thoughts and other times, socially unacceptable thoughts. But I begin to realize as I witness this great drama, or movie on the mindscreen that most of the time my mind is busy and occupied with things which do not necessarily concern me, and things which I do not wish to be associated with. But do I have a choice? The moment when I try to make a value judgment, then I am only giving more power to the mind.

One thing is clear for me, so long the mind is busy and occupied, I have no access to my spirit, where I can encounter the Lord of my heart. The mind places a opaque film between me and my spirit, my Being, the really Real. Most often I become involved with the mindstream, and react to what goes on inside the mind, and it would be shown in my body response. When my mind imagines pleasant things, then my body is relaxed, but when my mind imagines and projects violent objects or events, then my body is tensed and stiff. Tolle suggests that I distance myself from my mind; I am not my mind. I remain outside of the mind, and just observe what goes on within, and there would be moments when I might experience absence of thoughts, and they are moments of ‘silence’, and they are the moments when this opaque plate is removed and I have access to reality.

I am quite used to star-gazing, and today I am going to do mind-gazing, observing my mind, all that is going on in it, without forcefully trying to enter into silence. As I become conscious of the thoughts from outside, the thoughts subside by themselves, and I may be able to enjoy absence of thoughts for just a few seconds, but if I continue to mindgaze regularly, these moments of ‘silence’ may gradually increase, and in this most precious moments I may become one with reality, divinity, and am not touched or disturbed by either pain or pleasure. It is at this moment that I become truly a child of God, experiencing the godliness that I received at the time of my birth. Once I begin to taste this precious moments of ‘silence’ I would be prepared to give up anything in exchange for it. I am slowly moving close to my being.

Shoes for Sharing

'To get into the shoes of another' is a beautiful little expression in English, but to do that is not as simple as it might sound! While attempting to get into the shoes of others, we have often experienced that the shoes are either too big or too small. Very seldom we come across shoes of another which just fit into my feet! But then, whom can I blame if the shoes are either too big or too small; and is it possible for me to cut my toes to fit into the shoes? These questions may sound silly at the first look, but behind them is a truth that we have to come to terms joyfully, in order to make meaning out of our relationship with others.

Let us get into a detailed analysis of this expression : shoes! One thing is certain: we do not check the shoes size of others, before we begin our relationship journey. It is only after embarking on a life-long journey do we come to know about the size of the shoes, and often we may have to make slight adjustments in order to comfortably share shoes! Two of my sisters often exchange their clothes, since both of them are of same height and weight, and they have no problem in sharing the clothes. So there is no problem with their dressing; but there would be a problem if the clothes do not fit into both. In that case they should be satisfied with only their clothes!

After purchasing a new pair of shoes two years ago, I realized that it was too tight for my feet, and felt quite uneasy wearing it. But when I asked the shop-keeper, he said that once I start wearing, it would become quite loose. Any relationship may be strained at the beginning; it would take quite sometime for the partners to get used to each other. Once they begin to realize the pulse with each other, the shoes begin to give in, and they will not hurt the feet either. Sometimes we may be too harsh on the shoes for not fitting into the feet, and we may find ways to make it give into the feet. Some may try even oil on the edges of the shoes to make them supple, in order to let the feet get in freely.

In order to get into the shoes of another, I am required first of all to leave behind my own pair of shoes; if I am too attached to my shoes, I will never be able to get into the shoes of another. This implies that I should be prepared to leave behind my shoes in order to get into that of another; who knows I may not even like to get back to my own shoes in the future. I may become so accostomed to the shoes of another that I may not like to take back my shoes. I might let another person use it rather. If this were to happen, then I should be happy, because there is newness in me, and a fresh viewpoint might have taken charge of the other.

But what if the other person does not permit me to get into his/her shoes? Can I legitimately force myself to get into another's shoes? Probably I should never force myself to get into another's shoes, but invite the other person to permit me to take a try. It is not that my feet will fit perfectly with every other shoe I come across. After trying, I may say that my feet do not fit into the shoes, and therefore let another person try. With persons who are close to us, we can take the liberty to get into their shoes, sometimes even without their consent, so long my getting into to the shoes of the other is not going to make the person nervous, lose sense of direction in life, and finds it hard to get back to the normal rhythm of life.

Art of Listening - Intro

There are far too many people who embrace death voluntarily at a reasonably young age, because they find life intolerable and unmanageable. One of the main complaints we hear from death-notes is that they find hardly anyone who would listen to them.... This might sound a bit silly and even trivial for us, but for many who had decided to participate in the rat-race of the market forces at a relatively young age, this is an acute problem, which may lead them to decide on things which are irrevokable. There are not many people who would listen to them! How long would they keep talking to the four walls of their world, to cats and dogs whom they adore beyond all limits, and to their own self. They want someone who would respond to them, enter into their world even of hatred, vengence, jealosy, forbidden pleasures.

Today the world is in great demand for listeners, and it is from this great demand that the profession of counselling and psychiatric clinics have mushroomed in all developed societies. One has to pay about one hundred dollars or Euros to someone who would listen to them. The money is paid for listening to their sad stories. Such sessions may go on for months, until the person feels that there are people who dont mind listening to them. But it would be wrong to think that the world is in short of people who are ready to listen to others. We can think of our parents, especially our mothers, who would listen to every little non-sense and stupid things that we might be muttering, without questioning anything in return. One thing is true for her, not the content of what I say, but the fact of my trying to communicate something to her!

If one is prepared to listen to others, then it can become a way of life altogether, and that person may do more good to the society than several other so-called social workers. But what sort of listeners does the world look forward to? Surely not any kind of people who would like to make it a means of livelihood, like the counsellors and psychiatrists! There is a different kind of listeners, who not only listen to these people, but after listening to them attentively, would also mirror what and who they are in a way which is far from intimidating, or involving pre-judgment. These are unbiased, objective listeners who can build the broken reed, and build on the shattered dreams.

It is not impossible for us to become good listeners the world is in need of, and we do not require highly specialised degrees or scholarship to pay a listening ears to the people in need. The most important thing that we require is a mental disposition which looks at the people as they are, in the particular situations they are in, without expeccting what they should have been. In other words, these sincere listeners forget the past and begin with the present, and move towards future. It is not that the past is useless, but that it is not going to help the persons to return to their past. The past is given a decent burial, acknowledged with all the pleasure and pain it had brought. But the journey starts in the present.

To listen is an art, a wonderful and noble art, because this art is related to the heart of persons, individuals with a unique face and identity. We are about to embark on a short journey into the art of listening, to pick up the salient features that can truly make us effective listeners, who are pillars of our crumbling world; today as a cursory exercise, I would like to spend a few minutes in silence, trying to enter into my inner self; to listen to the different sounds and noises that I can hear, not only through my ears, but more through my heart and mind. Let me follow the course of these sounds, and remain with them, without ever trying to brand them as good or bad. Slowly let me become part of these sounds...!