Objectionable Obsessions

We all of us have our own obsessions, some good and some bad. There is no one on earth who can claim that he or she is a free from any kind of obsessions. There are certain objections which are considered socially objectionable, and when the person goes against the set norms of the society that person is often referred to as a rebel. But it would be wrong to imagine or think that all rebels are against the society, or its set patterns. It is next to impossible to define where we draw the line. There are certain rebels, who with all their good intentions, desire the good of all. The Marxists and the Maoists in West Bengal can be considered as belonging to such a group.

Each one of us has our own obsessions and preoccupations. There are some of us, who are voracious readers, and they love to read night and day; and there are others who like sitting in front of the idiot box round-the-clock; and there are some others who love to loiter around aimlessly. But our obsessions are limited not only to our external behaviors, they are also seen in our thinking patterns. I too have my own obsessions and preoccupations, some known to me and others, and some known only to me, and I try to guard them as a secretly guarded treasure, and they may die with me, without anyone knowing about it.

Some years ago, while visiting one of our schools, I had to stay with our Jesuit community, and I was given a guest room to stay the night. That was the first time I was going to stay in that community. Next to the room I was given to stay, was a room with painting boards, canvass, incomplete paintings; the place looked like a professional studio of an artist, and I was wondering who might be doing the paintings. It came as a surprise that one of the Fathers was doing the paintings in his leisure hours, and he had a lot of time to spend on it, but I had known him for over twenty years, and yet I had not known him as a painter or artist. Later I heard that painting was one of his passions.

But what is dangerous about obsessions is to cultivate a secret set of them, which may separate me from the rest of the society. When obsessions go overboard, then we may be called eccentric or pervert. It is not that they are bad elements, but the problem with them is that they had not known where to draw the line between what is personal interest and what is societal. But each one of us has an obsession, which may complement in a social setting. Most of us are incorrigible in some way or the other: some in their behavior, some in their thinking, and some in relating to others. We love to live in our own worlds, which may give us an identity and sense of being.

I am incapable of overcoming some of the obsessions, which may be in my blood, and some became part of myself during the upbringing, and over which I may not have much control. Most of my obsessions may come in conflict with those of others, and there might be times when I might feel left out in a social setting because of my eccentrics. It is possible I may not be able to overcome them, but it might be necessary for me to be conscious of my grey areas, so that when I am confronted, I am not taken aback. If there is a possibility for bringing my obsessions under control, it would enhance my personality and life in general. But that is a life-long mission, and I may be no before I realize a different ‘me’.