Authoring Ambition

At my age, probably it is not easy for me to vibe with a young girl of 16; times have changed and so also are people and their thinking. My niece today thinks about herself, her future much more than I did when I was at her age. Her concerns today are quite different from mine some three decades ago. Though it is not a good idea to compare people from two different epochs, and yet I feel certain things in life cannot be ignored or taken lightly. Ambition is the hallmark of this generation, and every young man and woman today may swear by it. But it is for us to realize that the very word ‘ambition’ has been much maligned after Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, and therefore it needs some qualification.

Unfortunately ambition is considered something that we should not give in to, because the fruit of ambition could be the fate of Caesar or Brutus. The modern generation, however, is not going to accept the theory of Shakespeare, which is some five hundred years old; modern thinkers and sages might just propose a contrary theory, saying that anyone who does not have ambitions may not succeed in life. The concept of thinking big is in reality an offshoot of this kind of thinking, which is fast catching up among the youth. It has not spared my niece either, though her ambitions are most often toned and molded by family members and friends. But there is fear that this ambition might go out of control if it is not kept under certain tension.

Choosing between two schools is indeed an important factor to realize the dreams and ambitions students nurture deep within; however the schools are merely the media which provide the proper ambience for nurturing of the dreams. The schools are only instruments in shaping the destiny of the youth, but they do not determine the destiny. It would be fatal if we were to consider that the schools are ultimately responsible for our future orientation. For a student who is serious about his/her dreams and ambitions, any school maybe good enough to flower forth, and for a frivolous one even the best of schools may not help much to reach the dreams.

I realized how the peer pressure could throttle the steady growth and nurturing of these dreams in the youth, when a few phone calls threw my niece haywire; it is true that friends would love to stay together and support one another during their school days; however they would soon realize that they cannot stick together all the way; sometime or other their ways will part, and each one will have to find his/her own way. Her friends had informed her that they were joining a “good school” as opposed to the “bad school” that my niece was joining. This thought that she was not admitted into a good school had caused enough of tears, and it took quite a while to make her understand that what makes real difference is self-determination and hard work, and not merely the schools.

The dreams and ambitions of the youth cannot be shaped by peer pressure or convenience; sometimes we hear young people wishing to be what their friends wish; this is a temporary arrangement, and it will soon fail, because the interests and orientations of each youth vary considerably. There are a lot more calculations and reading the signs of the times, which help the parents and other family members to arrive at a particular path to help the youth to reach the goal they have set for themselves. Trust in the guidance of the family, especially of parents, will be a great asset in this lonesome journey of the youth, and it is sure to bear rich dividends at the end. The youth will need to fall back on the resources of this trust and confidence in the near ones, especially when the going is tough. I believe this has been a tough moment for my niece, but I know she understands the dynamics of this process.

Careful Camouflage

I was so sad to hear about the plight of one of my friends, who had been giving herself fully for the mission entrusted to her, for the past 10 years. From a silent spectator, she had grown to be an organizer par excellence, single-handedly putting up two buildings with help from donor agencies, and not taking even a single rupee from her congregation. It was indeed a matter of prestige that she was able to contribute so much for the mission of her congregation. Unfortunately those who are at the helm of this local congregation cannot look at her kindly; bias and prejudice were to be blamed for the way she was treated all along. In fact, it was all because of one person, who wished to decide the fate of all her subjects, which led to silent anarchy in the congregation.

But who cares for the simple voiceless sisters, who only knew how to take orders, and knew not how to put their points across, how to argue convincingly with the people who mattered in the administration of the congregation, or how to refuse the high-handedness of a handful of people who wished to wield control over all the rest. Selfishness of a small group of ‘bourgeoisie’ mattered more than the interest and welfare of the entire congregation and their mission. The person who was supposed to be at the top of the administrative structure was made into a dummy horse, while the previous head continued to wield power over others. But there were too few to disregard the autocratic high-handedness of this person, others were too frightened to confront her.

My friend had been known as a person who would not dare talk anything in return for the orders she was given, but over the years, she had learned to speak, and today when she questions the unilateral decisions of the higher-ups, they cannot think that she could speak so boldly. They are awe-stuck that she was talking so boldly. But she is not the kind who would demand something unreasonable, but she has learned that she cannot let herself be taken for a royal ride by anyone; she knows she has to fight for her own rights and would not let anyone snatch from her hands, something which is due to her, which is her right. I am happy that today she is able to speak her mind loudly and clearly, and is ready to face the consequences.

What was more painful for me was that when my friend had informed her administrative heads that she could not accept the transfer for some serious reasons, the head had reminded her that it was her religious obedience which bound her to accept the decision of her superiors. But my first question is, if the transfer has been decided through the process of serious communal discernment; for all practical purposes, it was one person who had decided about this transfer. Can the whims and fancies of one particular autocratic person be guarded and shielded by religious notions and ideologies? It is wrong to protect one’s decisions in the name of religious obedience, because the Spirit cannot prompt anything which is illogical and irrational.

It is sad that there are still religious men and women who cannot accept the fact that in this fast changing world, they would love to cling to the age-old ideologies. Any discernment process in matters relating to transfers and changes are to take into consideration the wishes and desires of the persons concerned, and this is something very vital to the very process of discernment. If a discernment process does not take into account the aspirations and desires of the persons concerned, then it could be just the wrong way of doing the discernment, and it may be in all probability contrary to the will of God, and contrary to the promptings of the Spirit. I wish the local congregations understand the importance of taking into confidence the aspirations of the persons discussed. Times when one could be blindly ordered to take up an unknown assignment without any preparation whatsoever is gone, and we are living in a world which demands that we approach persons with certain amount of compassion and humanism, as opposed to hard, insensitive religious dogmatism.

Charming Cheers and After

It is not strange that sometimes the most unexpected people could come in our way and make us smile. It is generally not possible for us to imagine that a hardcore drunkard could reach us safely, when we are helpless, and find it hard to find a way. That is what happened to my friend today, and while narrating this incident, all that she could do was have a hearty laughter. But there is nothing strange that a drunkard may be the right person, when we are caught in a tight corner, and find it hard to find a way; for one thing, the drunkards know exactly what they are up to, and maybe more normal under the influence of liquor than otherwise.

We should be extremely careful when we deal with drunkards, because they may not be as oblivious of what is happening around them as we might think them to be. There are many who feign after having a drink, and some others gain enormous amount of guts and courage after a peg or two. There are very few who can really forget the whole world and enter into a world of make-belief where they can realize all their dreams and aspirations. It would be cruel to pull them out of this state forcefully, by any violent means, though I understand what are the things that the drunkards are capable of when drunk.

A few days ago, a close friend of mine, did acknowledge that he committed a socially objectionable act, under the influence of alcohol, and said he should have been more careful not to drink to the point of not realizing what he was doing. That one moment had darkened his entire life, and he had to go through agonizing moments because of the few minutes when he forgot himself and what he was doing. But that is the story with many a drunkard; many begin to regret for ever giving in to alcohol, which had led them to endless troubles and misery. If we look around, we shall find many who would vouch for this.

We often think that those who are under the influence of alcohol are bound to falter in their steps; it is true with amateurs, but not with veterans. There are men and women, who even after half a dozen pegs of hard drink can walk unfalteringly, and speak as if they had not touched wine. In fact, these people enter into a higher level of consciousness, only when they are drunk, and when they are not drunk, they may appear to be in a stupor. A few months, I was sorry to meet my cousin, who was so addicted to wine, that without it, he was violent, abnormal; but as soon as he had a peg, he was calm and quiet, and was even able to joke.

Not all those who drink alcohol are drunkards; quite a many do drink on social gatherings and special occasions, while some others require it, as if it is their staple drink. I have become rather sympathetic towards who are either victims of alcohol or are unable to get out of the clutches of wine, which may slowly ruin their entire lives. But while we do not encourage drunkards to continue drinking, we take our hats off to the “good” drunkards, who can come to our aid daringly and willingly, and rescue us from the stalemate we might otherwise be languishing in. After all, the whole sky is not filled with dark clouds, we may come across a few stray immaculate white ones too.