The Lakshman Rekha

There is an invisible boundary we draw for ourselves, wherever we are, and whatever we do, and whoever we are! It is not what we are, what we do, which determine who we are; ultimately what matters is how far our boundaries go, and how much it crisscrosses the boundaries of others! There are some of us, who would not like that their personal boundaries cross someone else’s, nor could they tolerate someone else trespassing into their limits! Being conscious of the personal boundaries allows the individuals certain amount of freedom and independence, and in the long run the boundaries may shrink or widen to accommodate more persons or thought patterns. But ultimately we are what our boundaries make of us.

Most of us are not even aware of the boundaries we make for ourselves and for others; the walls are not merely imaginary, we communicate to people how far they could come close to us, and what that would imply. On the one hand, it is not too difficult in the modern world, to isolate ourselves and keep us insulated from all that may be happening in the world. On the other hand, it is possible to be open to what the world is offering us and benefit from them. But most often the boundaries could determine our fate, what we are destined to be. Those who are able to adapt themselves to changing times and situations would find life enjoyable, as they keep shifting the boundaries as life offers them.

Some are too stringent about their limits and boundaries, not refusing to change them even a little, in order to accommodate persons and situations which are beyond their control. Convictions is one such thing; if we are too strict about abiding by our convictions, we would too soon realize that many of them come in direct conflict with those of others. What is good may be bad for others, and it is impossible to insist on our convictions, especially who do not share even some kind of affinity with us. Boundaries are not sacrosanct; they are merely means to achieve happiness and peace in life, but if we take them too seriously, we might miss the fun.

It is quite interesting to observe how we come to draw boundaries, the so called Lakshman rekha for ourselves and for others; fortunately there are no strict rules and regulations as to determining our boundaries and limits. It is left to each individual, and the only condition is to respect the interests and sentiments of others. So long I do not impinge on other’s interests and area of operation, I am free to do what I want. The society around us is not going to be worried if our boundaries are too narrow or too wide, so long we are by ourselves. No one might bother about us, so long we do not disturb the peace and harmony of others and the earth.

Today I would like to pause for a while to consider the boundary I had drawn for myself and for others, and take a good look at it. What have I done with this boundary, and how many boundaries have I crisscrossed over the past years; more the number of boundaries I crisscross, the better are I in terms of living in harmony with others and with nature. Everyone is bound to enrich me through their interaction with me. As the lines of the boundaries become blurred, and we begin to freely walk into the lives of others, we might experience a different kind of harmony dawning upon us. Miracles might happen when we are invited to step into others boundaries, for only those who are fully freed from the shackles of the world, can invite others to step into their world!

Daring to Cross Boundaries

I have great regards and appreciation for those who cross boundaries – cultural, religious, national, linguistic and ideological, to name a few. For me these are people who are worthy of our praise, because they have crossed the barriers which often keep us within a particular culture, religion or nation, and it would take quite a bit of courage and guts to cross over to the other side. But in this case, the other side is not always proverbial greener part, but the one which invites to fight continuously against the very group of people one belongs to, and that is not always pleasant, as the story of Mahabharata tells us. To fight against one’s own people is the most painful of all battles.

I had decided to join the wedding dinner of this staff of our social center, not because he is known to me intimately or that his family is well-known to me. The main reason I wanted to go and wish the couple is because the couple are starting their life together with a different note. It is not the normal note that all songs begin. I was not aware of the story of this wedding, until one of my young companions today narrated me over the lunch table, and since then my appreciation for the bridegroom has increased manifold. Has he done anything heroic, worthy of such praise? To my mind he mind have done something praise worthy, but for him it might not.

To decide to marry a girl/woman who is already married and separated, for whatsoever reason it may be, one needs to have a lot of courage and determination. At the age of 32, this young man is already fighting a big battle with poverty and privation; with difficulty his mother had managed to get his elder sister married off, and they had to wait for another two years to collect some more money to organize the wedding of this young man, who but gets a meager salary, and his mother is still paid a lump sum amount for looking after our sick and senior fathers. But it is not easy to manage a family with the salary of the mother and son, and at this juncture is the marriage arranged.

Some years ago, when both the boy and the girl joined our social centre for work, they used to tease each other. It is said that the marriage of the girl, at the age of 18, broke soon after because her husband was found to be impotent, and when they were preparing to get separated, her present husband used to tease her that she had married an impotent. But teasing might have soon become a feeling of empathy for her, and later flowered into love. I believe no one can marry another out of sympathy, not even for a higher cause; that would only defeat the very purpose of marriage. I would take my hats off to both of them that their love could travel so far.

But crossing boundaries? The boy is originally a Tamil, and the girl a Bengali; the boy is Catholic and the girl traditional Hindu; the boy is at home with Hindi, while the girl in Bengali. But I believe that true love can break all boundaries; after all, love knows no language, and that is the reason why event the blind, deaf and dumb can love others and experience the love of others. I know one thing for sure, that the more the boundaries one crosses in life, the better will be the joy and happiness in reserve for him/her. Crossing boundaries also makes one strong to face any future challenge and difficulty. Such people are often courageous persons, who do not easily shy away from facing difficulties. Today at the core of my heart, I would like to bless both of them to cross many more boundaries which may come their way to enter into the world of happiness and joy.

Mother Dear...

Spending an hour of quiet moments at Mother's tomb is not only a rare privilege, but also a precious opportunity. I must be honest to accept that I was not a fan of Mother when she was alive; I had my own reservations about her way of looking at reality, and sometimes I had a divergent view. But over the past one year, my appreciation of Mother's works and her life has changed much of my thinking. Going through 'Come Be My Light : The Private Writings of the "Saint of Calcutta"', edited with commentary by Brian Kolodiejchuk, had disturbed me a lot, so much so I had to seek the help of my spiritual director.

I was not much fascinated by the name and fame that she acquired due to her work for the poor and the neglected in society; but I was touched by the simplicity and transparency with which she went through the dark nights of her soul. Even in the midst of darkest clouds, she was able to sight the silver line, and that was her great consolation. She was on the verge of losing her faith in God, and was often assailed by meaninglessness in life, and yet she knew that the hand of God would lead her through. That unshakable faith in God of life is what I often look up to.

As I sit a few feet away from the place where her mortal remains had been buried, I would like to imagine a current passing from her mortal remains to my body, instilling in me, a fraction of the spirit she carried wherever she went, fearlessly standing for what she was convinced; she could not be stopped by anyone, neither soldiers, nor guns, neither religious fanaticism nor regionalism. She was above all that divided the society, and her service flowing out of love for her Lord and Master, made her a sui generis. Today I should be asking myself if my service to humanity is in fact flowing out of my love for the Lord to whom I have committed myself for life!

I look up, and see a stream of people entering into the hallowed ground, touching their heads on the marble stones, which have hugged the saint of the gutters, so that no one can do her any harm, and I feel these people know no religion. Mother Teresa, though a professed Catholic, but to the people of other faiths, she gave not Christ, but His love, service, and ever abounding care and concern. Most often in life, she was able to go beyond the narrow categories we have made for our own survival. Today we will be able to find answer to many of the ills haunting our society, if only we are able to go beyond our narrow religious limits.

I try to seek a few quiet moments in her presence, whenever time permits, and what do I seek from God through her intercession? I have been born poor, and had been living like a poor, but there are all the dangers for me to distance myself from the poor I had been growing up. My education, social status (as a religious priest, belonging to a particular congregation), my contacts, all of them have made me a separate class. The poor when they stand close to me, think that I am no more one of them. This is what I dearly seek through the kindness of Blessed Teresa, that I can tell even on the verge of death knocking at my door, that I was born a poor, lived the life of a poor and was dying like one too. What great honor could I then expect?

Divided We Live

There is no creature on earth as authoritarian and self-centered as the human beings. Unfortunately we have come to believe that the human beings are the centre of the universe, and everything is at the behest of them. I am intrigued to think that we have fragmented the world that we received thousands of years ago, and the world is slowly dying, and I wonder if we will be alive to give her a decent burial. We have cut the earth as if it was a birthday cake we would like to share with others, and today in the name of sovereignty and supremacy, we have broken the world into pieces demarcating for ourselves and preventing others to enter into our territory. That I think is the height of human mockery of the unity of the universe. We cannot think of the universe as one, because we are used to seeing ourselves as different from others. What annoys me is the wired-fence that divides this earth into countries and nations, preventing freedom of movement.

If birds of the air enjoy that absolute freedom to move wherever they want, even migrating thousands of miles in order to avoid the bone-chilling cold, or the scorching heat of the sun, why can’t human beings be so; if the fish of the ocean can move from one end to the other, spending a good part if not the whole of her life, why can’t we. If I move from one place to another, clandestinely sneaking through the wire-fence, I am penalized, and put behind bars. When I am born, I am not born as an Indian or Belgian or a Filippino (Pinoy), but I am born as a human being. I am born as part of the human family without any boundaries. But as soon as I see the light of the day, a tag is tied to my wrist that I am an Indian or an American. I carry this tag till I fall into the ground again, and when I am placed inside the womb of mother earth, I go as I had come, without any tag. I die as a human being, without any identity. Then why do I need to entertain the wire-fence.

Who has limited my freedom of movement; the word is in fragments. No one carries with him or her even a square foot of earth. We all of us will die empty-handed; then why is this demarcation? There is fear in some people that if the wire-fence is removed, then there will be a mad-rush to wealthy nations, and soon the riches of the nation will be drained, and the locals and the natives may be deprived of the riches they had been enjoying for centuries. But isn’t that logic first of all based on false and erroneous premises? The wealth of the earth belongs to the humanity, not only to the people of one particular group; the oil of the Gulf does not belong to them, the gold mines of the America do not belong to them; we behave as if we have worked for this. By claiming absolute power and authority over the natural resources, we have brought infamy upon humanity. How can the custodians of oil fields in the Gulf live in palatial buildings, while hundreds of thousands die of hunger and thirst in the African and Asian countries?

I have neither the intelligence nor the means to undertake a novel research to eradicate all wire-fences, so that the wealth that we invest in guarding the boundaries, preventing people of one “nation” trespassing into another land, may be better utilized to improve basic amenities to the downtrodden, and the backward class people. Let no one claim power and authority over the land, which does not belong to any one particular group, even if they are the original settlers of the land. The earth does not belong to anyone, neither to me, nor to you. Let us think of the land as we think of the sun and the moon, and the oceans. Thank God, we have not made demarcations on the ocean, to say that the water till that line belong to us… I would like to be the almighty God for just one minute, or just one second, if that could ever be granted. I have only one wish as the all-powerful God : in a fraction of a second, to uproot all wire-fences, and replace them with flower plants all over. People then will present one another bouquets and flowers, sharing not only what they have, but also what they are.

While we talk about the boundaries that separate us on the basis of the nation and country, there are also other smaller boundaries and limits that we create for our own convenience. Today I would like to pause for a while to think of all the different boundaries I have created for myself, on the basis of my caste, creed, nationality, religion, culture, profession, interests, tastes, color of the skin, language… every time I make a frantic attempt to belong to a particular group, then I am excluding myself from a wider group, or humanity. Our social structures compel me to belong to different social groups, but I am also free to be by myself, so that I enjoy the freedom that I am born with. Today I would like to consciously dissociate myself from all the different groups I am part of, and consciously brief myself as belonging to the community of the universe. As I sit quietly to contemplate this great feeling, let me see in my mind the endless ocean of men and women surrounding me, and I slowly getting dissolved in this limitless ocean. Let me feel the energy flow from one person to another, enriching and ennobling the entire human race. Can I then ever tolerate wire-fences separating me from my own brothers and sisters? (Brussels)