Strength of the Weak

There is not a single soul on earth who can claim before God to be strong enough to face all the trials and tribulations of the world; there is no one who can claim innocent before the throne of God. There is a patch of weakness and sinfulness ingrained in each one of us, and no one is spared from this. But this is no matter to worry about, because when we acknowledge our weaknesses, we can experience the strength that comes from God. In fact, those who see their sinfulness and weaknesses before God and acknowledge them are no longer weak and fragile, but are strong persons, because it is the Lord who grants them his own strength to fight against all evils which enslave them. Therefore if I want to experience the strength and power of God, the only thing that I need to do is to acknowledge my weaknesses before him, and trust in his providence to strengthen me in his own time, in his own way.

There are people who cannot see their weaknesses, and would go all length to justify each and every action of theirs, and may pass the blame on to their neighbors, and even to God. These people often look for alibi, scapegoats to pass the bug on to some others. They cannot face their own nakedness, and the blot of sinfulness stare at them and it could become unbearable for them. But who can deny the human nature which is there in me, which makes me think that I am the most perfect person that is possible on earth! I would go no justifying my actions, heaping lie upon lie, until the whole mound crashes and I am made a laughing stock before all. I might then see the Lord standing at a distance and smiling at me. He might be just as helpless as I had been, but the only consolation I could have now is his very presence.

The psalms reiterate in unequivocal terms how God comes to the aid of the weak and the feeble; he gives them the power to stand against all the powers of the world, and they would be able to stand before kings and emperors and speak their mind, and still no one would lay their hands on them. Or take the case of Moses, the man who stammered, and had no gift of speech. ‘But, how can I? I do not know how to speak’ Moses complains to the Lord, and the Lord gives him Aaron to be his mouthpiece. What is the situation of Isaiah and Jeremiah? The weak persons become the champions of God’s justice and retribution. There are several examples for the weak people, who had been strengthened by the Lord, and they found their lives taking a U-turn thereafter. It can happen in my life too; the same Lord can make me stand erect by the strength he would shower upon me.

I cry to the Lord and tell him that I am utterly powerless to withstand the storms that threaten my life, and he looks at me lovingly and asks me to put my trust in him. Paul was such a man, who was conscious of his weaknesses, and the riddle of life – he could not do the good that he wanted to do, and was doing just the evil that he did not want to. This is a great irony of life, and Paul could not be freed from this predicament. He felt helpless and the Lord stood by his side and provided him with the strength to accept life with all the light and shadows. We have no authority to question the Lord’s ways; they may be quite contrary to human thinking, but all generations would prove that there can never be better justice than in the Lord. If I do not surrender myself to him, and acknowledge my weaknesses before his presence, I might be slowly sinking in my own sinfulness.

The Lord looks at our hearts and not our physique. We have the beautiful story of the anointing of David by prophet Samuel, who looking at the brothers of David thinks one of them should have been chosen by God; but God warns the prophet and tells him not to look at the physique because the Lord looks not at the body, but the heart. A heart that is broken and is supple before the Lord can win the favor of the Lord and he would shower his strength on his chosen and help restore life. Life cannot drown us, so long the Lord is at our side; but if we decide to take full control over life, and do not allow the Lord to take control over our lives, then we might have to regret. Today my only prayer before the Lord is that I might see my nakedness before my eyes and acknowledge my weaknesses before the Lord, who alone can strengthen me and make me his very own!

In quest of life in its fullness - Introduction

It is hard for me to explain what St John meant by the phrase “life in its fullness”, but I know one thing for sure that Jesus came as the epitome, the summum bonum of life with all its myriad hues and colors. We receive the fullness of life only from and through him. This is one fact that has been sustaining the lives of several millions of men and women down the centuries. There were people who were determined to consider their lives as worthless before the one who would give them several times more than what they had given up for his sake. They were sure to receive life in its abundance, and that hope kept growing in their hearts until they were ablaze with love for the Lord.

Every human soul is made of the same stuff as the one which Jesus possessed while on earth. Without taking recourse to over spiritualization, we could safely say that every person on earth is created to reach this fullness of life, and if there is any obstacle coming on the way, we have the duty and responsibility to remove it, so that we are not deprived of tasting what life has to offer to us. Eternity in one sense refers to tasting the fullness of life as God keeps pouring out to each one of us. There is no one who is exempted from this invitation, though there would be many who would pretend as if they had not received the invitation. These are the people who are in need of finding the wellsprings of life and labor to walk towards it.

If everyone is engaged in a quest to taste the fullness of life, there are very few who find the wellsprings; and very few who return to their own people to tell them what the wellsprings had done in their lives; anyone who drinks of the water of life cannot remain the same. There is a magical quality attributed to the waters flowing from these eternal wellsprings, and very few would dare to approach the springs and drink from it. For many the wellsprings may be far too intimidating, and we would find any number of excuse to avoid going in search of it. It is cozy and comfortable to remain in the land of oblivion, as in the case of the Lotus Eaters, but it would take a lot of guts and courage to walk in search of waters, though we have no road map to find it.

There are more and more people who are getting frustrated in life and find life is not worth living, and every hour may become for them eternity of agony stretched for ever. They would love to forget the real world and might wish to enter into a world of oblivion, where they would not be responsible for their actions, and they might do anything and even justify their actions. The rate of suicide in the world is far more than many past years put together. We cannot say that globalization and the market economy that we experience these days were responsible for the kind of situation we have landed up in the world. It is also obvious that none of seem to have the solutions to many of the problems the world is reeling under the weight of!

It does not require great intellect or holiness to understand that the way to face life with all the challenges, struggles, fears and anxieties in life; there are more and more people who are looking for answers to questions which do not exist in reality; they have created virtual world, and are busy measuring its width, height and breath… It might take just a child to tell them that they are living in a world quite different from ours. What I hope to present in the next few blogs are some of the areas that we need to explore before we find the wellsprings of life, where alone we can find waters, which can quench our thirst for life, and it is only when we have tasted this water that we would stop looking for wells, which cannot quench our thirst and yet the world may present them as the most viable alternatives. Here we take the first step, in understanding that we need water to drink!

Letting Go

To tie and untie the rope that is tied to the shore from a boat is an art, and it is only those who know how and where to tie the rope, that can sure the safety for the boat and the people who may travel. It is an art to let things go, and it might require quite an amount of learning that goes along with this art, just like every art needs to be cultivated. The best example I can think of for letting things go, is the art of swimming. It requires quite a bit of courage to jump for the first time into a tank or a pool; we should be happy if there is someone who is at our side to help us teach how to place our strides, and I had learned to swim all by myself, and at one moment even felt sinking, and had not the voice or courage to call friends who were swimming at a little distance. But luckily I managed to float and since then I know I cannot sink in water. Then the few moments of sinking was agonizing.

If one is too frightened of sinking, one may never learn to swim. The same logic also applies for those who learn driving a vehicle, either two wheelers or four wheelers. If one is too frightened of meeting with an accident, one would never dare to take the vehicle on the road; there would be something preventing that person from daring. What I would like to point to is the experience of the freedom and ease that dawns after we take the leap, to borrow a term from the existentialist philosophers. In order to experience the freedom and the ease that follows the leap, the risk is worth taking. Worries and anxieties are blocks which prevent us from experiencing the freedom and ease which is our due, but these also present to us a sense of false security, and we might cling on to them hoping they would last long. The mind can scarcely think that true freedom is in letting things go, rather than holding on to them.

The false sense of security that worries and anxieties present to us is also linked to our own existence, and we cannot think of anyone who would allow ourselves to be annihilated. We all want to live, and we believe, though erroneously, that we could live only by holding on the things we hope will keep us safe and secure. But relying on worries and anxieties is like chasing mirages, and ultimately we might land up nowhere, or might find ourselves in the same place. To let go of things is daring to take the risk, and be prepared to face whatever that might happen to us, during the moments which follow the letting go. It is a very brief moment, but very crucial, because it is during these moments that the human mind may present black as white and white as black; if we are carried away too easily by the mind, then we might not reach the other shore, we may never learn to drive.

Let me explain why worries and anxieties present to us only a sense of false security. We know only too well that worries and anxieties are related to what is yet to come, and in most cases they are only hypothetical cases, because if we know certain thing for sure, then we do not worry about them, but if there is something not known to us may take place, that sucks our energy, and at the end we are more tensed imagining what could possibly happen. The clinging to worries and anxieties is nothing but a pigment of our imagination, and there is not an iota of truth and real security. Let me also face the other side of the coin : is it possible that my life may be endangered if I let things go free? Human experience has shown that that happens but very rarely, and we may not experience such things in our lives.

In fact, worries and anxieties do not allow us to take a step forward; they are oriented towards keeping us bound to the shore, hoping one day the other shore might exchange place with this one. There is nothing potentially dangerous with worries and anxieties, but they could become cause of one’s diseases, especially those relating to the heart, food habits, allergies and mental stress and tension. This is also related to a realistic self-assessment, so that we do not assess ourselves either as too simple or as too grand. Worries and anxieties rely on the qualities and securities which do not happen in reality, they are only in the imaginative and possibility domain. Too much of calculation and estimates might not work well with letting things go free, but we may have to make decisions on the basis of reality, and act upon them instantaneously.

The Lakshman Rekha

There is an invisible boundary we draw for ourselves, wherever we are, and whatever we do, and whoever we are! It is not what we are, what we do, which determine who we are; ultimately what matters is how far our boundaries go, and how much it crisscrosses the boundaries of others! There are some of us, who would not like that their personal boundaries cross someone else’s, nor could they tolerate someone else trespassing into their limits! Being conscious of the personal boundaries allows the individuals certain amount of freedom and independence, and in the long run the boundaries may shrink or widen to accommodate more persons or thought patterns. But ultimately we are what our boundaries make of us.

Most of us are not even aware of the boundaries we make for ourselves and for others; the walls are not merely imaginary, we communicate to people how far they could come close to us, and what that would imply. On the one hand, it is not too difficult in the modern world, to isolate ourselves and keep us insulated from all that may be happening in the world. On the other hand, it is possible to be open to what the world is offering us and benefit from them. But most often the boundaries could determine our fate, what we are destined to be. Those who are able to adapt themselves to changing times and situations would find life enjoyable, as they keep shifting the boundaries as life offers them.

Some are too stringent about their limits and boundaries, not refusing to change them even a little, in order to accommodate persons and situations which are beyond their control. Convictions is one such thing; if we are too strict about abiding by our convictions, we would too soon realize that many of them come in direct conflict with those of others. What is good may be bad for others, and it is impossible to insist on our convictions, especially who do not share even some kind of affinity with us. Boundaries are not sacrosanct; they are merely means to achieve happiness and peace in life, but if we take them too seriously, we might miss the fun.

It is quite interesting to observe how we come to draw boundaries, the so called Lakshman rekha for ourselves and for others; fortunately there are no strict rules and regulations as to determining our boundaries and limits. It is left to each individual, and the only condition is to respect the interests and sentiments of others. So long I do not impinge on other’s interests and area of operation, I am free to do what I want. The society around us is not going to be worried if our boundaries are too narrow or too wide, so long we are by ourselves. No one might bother about us, so long we do not disturb the peace and harmony of others and the earth.

Today I would like to pause for a while to consider the boundary I had drawn for myself and for others, and take a good look at it. What have I done with this boundary, and how many boundaries have I crisscrossed over the past years; more the number of boundaries I crisscross, the better are I in terms of living in harmony with others and with nature. Everyone is bound to enrich me through their interaction with me. As the lines of the boundaries become blurred, and we begin to freely walk into the lives of others, we might experience a different kind of harmony dawning upon us. Miracles might happen when we are invited to step into others boundaries, for only those who are fully freed from the shackles of the world, can invite others to step into their world!

Ignatian Insights 7: Consolation

Inigo was in touch with what was happening to himself, from the time of his convalescence at the castle of Loyola, after he was wounded at the battle of Pompalona. He could recognize two kinds of movements as he dreamed of the lady of high position, whom he desired to marry, and as he reflected about the life of Christ and of saints. In his ‘autobiography’ he states that some thoughts left him dry, while some others left him happy and peaceful. He was already sifting the movements of his heart, and that would become the foundation of his understanding on the movements of the spirit. But for now we shall concentrate on his understanding on consolation, the movement of the spirit which led him to inner peace and joy.

He goes on to explain this concept when he deals with Discernment of Spirits for Week I. The way he had given the title for this chapter in the Spiritual Exercises is quite interesting. He writes, ‘Rules to aid us toward perceiving and then understanding at least to some extent, the various motions which are caused in the soul: the good motions that they may be received, and the bad that they may be rejected’. The numbers that deal with consolation are 316, 323-24. First let us understand what he means by consolation.

By this kind of consolation I mean that which occurs when some interior motion is caused within the soul through which it comes to be inflamed with love of its Creator and Lord. As a result it can love no created thing on the face of the earth in itself, but only in the Creator of them all (SpEx 316:1). It is important that we realize that consolation is an “interior motion” and therefore it cannot be associated with external experiences, and the result is the soul being inflamed with the love of God, leading to love him alone! It is a spiritual experience, which cannot be roused by ourselves. God is the origin of all consolation.

Inigo observes yet one more vital aspect to mean consolation : “every increase in hope, faith and charity, and every interior joy which calls and attracts one toward heavenly things and to the salvation of one’s soul, by bringing it tranquillity and peace in its Creator and Lord” (SpEx 316:4). Therefore when we experience an increase in the evangelical virtues of faith, hope and charity, we know that we are experiencing consolation, and the fruit of this experience will be evident in the interior joy, attraction towards heavenly things, tranquillity and peace. It is not that only spiritual persons experience consolation; at some time or other every one of us go through this kind of experience, though we may not realize that this is consolation.

Every consolation may lead us to desolation, and therefore while experiencing consolation, one should prepare to face desolation (SpEx 323), and one should conduct oneself humbly (324). It is a wonderful feeling to experience consolation, but one should not forget that there is no perpetual consolation; everyone has to go through dark nights of the soul, desolation in the terminology of Inigo. He goes on to show the origin of consolation: without a preceding cause (SpEx 330), by means of a preceding cause acting for the progress of the soul (SpEx 331). Therefore Inigo invites us to examine if the consolation actually proceeds from God, or if it actually comes from the evil one.

Metamorphosis of Nemesis

I know it is so easy for some people to say “sorry”, just as it is for me. For some people, it is very difficult, especially if they are diffident. I am beginning to understand that all those who say sorry need not be fully sorry for what had happened, and therefore are willing to take responsibility for them, and all those who are diffident need not be arrogant and so are unwilling to own up what had happened. It is possible that I say sorry so many times, and yet deep down am unrepentant, and still try to justify what I had done, and how I continue to be innocent. There is also another parallel tendency in me to make other people feel sorry for making me feel sorry.

There used to be times when I would be diffident and would not say sorry to people, until I read it somewhere those three beautiful words which can make a difference in my life : please, sorry, and thank you, and I began to use these as lavishly as possible. But it is time for me to pause and reflect if these words are losing their core meaning, and I am just taking them for granted. When I say please, do I really have the mental disposition to submit myself to the giver, or is it just a word of politeness? The same thing with the word, Thank you! I need to ask myself if I am truly grateful to the one who has favoured me and has shown graciousness to me!

But I realize that during those younger days when I used to be extremely allergic to using these three little words, I used to maintain certain amount of dignity. I always thought that I should not easily give scope to using these words. I should not be at the mercy of others, but should claim what is due dispassionately; not to do something for which I would regret and so have to ask the pardon from others, and to accept what is rightfully mine, and not to accept any favours which may come with a hook. But I have grown over this kind of understanding, and today I think of these in a different light. I do not hesitate to ask for favours, and recognize my own limitations, and be thankful to the people who show tremendous understanding towards me.

As I pour out myself at this moment, I think of a dark cave, where I am trying to enter in stealthily; I cannot see what is on the floor, the moss, slippery ground with water flowing all the time, stone chips which may pork into my sole, and I may just hit my head on the wall. Groping in the dark is a new experience, because it is then that I feel how helpless I am before certain kind of reality. But if I have another person who is used to this cave, and were to hold me by the hand and lead me through, how comfortable it can be. If I find him next to me, could I not plead for his help, and be grateful to him for the favour he would have done me? And is it not reasonable to ask his pardon if I had not followed his footsteps, or directions?

Whole life is not enough for us to learn, learn new tricks! It is said that old persons learn new tricks rather slowly, but I am quite vary of this kind of assumptions. There are certain persons who keep learning new tricks, not only in life, but also in their personal lives, and that is a great consolation for me. It is never too late to learn from life, and every time I realize a possibility of learning and incorporating it into my personal life, I feel that I am growing as a person, as an individual, as a responsible citizen of the universe. The world is changing at a rapid speed, and we too are called to keep pace to it, and experience that change within us, and around us.

Ways to Wisdom

The beginning of all wisdom, according to me, is the humility to learn from the last and the least, the friend and the foe, the rain and the shine, the good and the bad! On the one hand, when a person thinks that s/he has learned enough in life, that is the sign that s/he is gripped by the claws of pride, and that opens the floodgates of wisdom, if at all s/he has gained something from life, to let it flow in wastelands. Humility, on the other hand, is the gateway to all wisdom; one cannot bewitch to the goddess of wisdom and knowledge without first befriending humility. For, wisdom often resides in the most unexpected of places, and those who find her dwelling, find it easy to befriend her.

I have felt that some of the wisest men and women garner knowledge even as they fight a ferocious battle with death. I remember many years ago, a great mathematician and teacher, Father Goreaux going through Bengali primer, learning to read and write in Bengali, when he was on the verge of death bed. Someone would have asked him, what use it would be to learn a language when you know for sure, you would not have years to practice it! The utility is secondary; what matters first is to equip oneself with necessary knowledge to face situations, which may or may not require a set of knowledge. Truly wise men and women were ever ready to welcome wisdom in their midst at any time of their life’s journey.

As I venture into a new field or two, I find it necessary to learn the ‘tricks of the trade’. Sometimes there are no ready-made, handy guidebooks, like the hundreds of self-help books and guides you find on any topic imaginable. There is no better guide in life to learn something new than experience itself; however a friend or foe who has already gained knowledge would be in a much better place to open the gates of the new palace, to show which is where, so that I need not walk through all the corridors and rooms to find what is where. If I am ready to be rebuked and reprimanded in the process of gaining knowledge, then I know I am ready to take yet another lesson for life.

There was something mysterious in Christian Life Community (CLC in short) movement, which had attracted me, when I was attending a short course in the Holy City a year ago, and I am enthused to explore what I can learn from the many groups who practice the Ignatian spirituality, served in a way which is not only palatable, but also useful for their daily Christian living. There are young boys and girls, and there are adults, all of them translating the Ignatian vision into reality, through a spirituality which is so practical and pliable that all can feel the divine coming down from heaven to the earth. But ahead of me is the opportunity to learn from these men and women who had tasted God, and be enriched by their experiences.

I am prepared to learn from anyone who would be able to accept me as a disciple; I am also aware that at times my ego pops up and resists the lowly and the least sitting in the chairs of authority and teach me things I have not known in life. Sometimes these experiences may also make me realize how ignorant I am, and when I know what I do not know, then I will know that the doors of knowledge are wide open for me. This experiences are nothing less than spiritual experiences, where I can encounter God in the midst of His people, and I can be well on the way to bridge the gap between God and human beings; that is the role of every priest of God, to play the bridge between heaven and earth, and here is a golden opportunity I can jump and grab!

Fear Factor (2) - Enemy within

On several significant moments of life, I have realized that I have been let down by an arch enemy, who has been following me wherever I went, whatever I did: myself, my inner self, my conscience, my mind, or my spirit! I may have a dozen names to describe how frightened I am to myself. I am not afraid of anyone on earth as I dread my inner self. It is paradoxical and even ironical to realize that I am afraid of myself, the one I know like the back of my palm! It really sounds ridiculous, but that is the fact! I cannot trust myself, I cannot believe in self, and I cannot predict how I would respond to a particular situation! I am so very unpredictable that I am frightened of myself!

But what am I afraid of, and why should I? The answers for these two questions are not as simple as the questions may sound! I may liken my innerself to a most sophisticated database, which processes every proposal I make in the light of the past experiences, correlates to them, and provides me an alternative that I should choose. Invariably the self would not permit me to choose something that is not in the database, but only that has been earlier registered. In that case, if I venture to choose something new, the mind puts a sense of fear, and later this is converted to guilt, leading to half a dozen ill-feelings which prematurely kill life spirit in me!

The fact is, before I begin to be frightened of others, however powerful they be, I am frightened of myself, and it would require far more courageous and energetic affirmation to convince one's inner self and come out to face reality! The enemy outside of me is not as horrendous and fearsome as the one inside of me. But is not there a way to free myself from the fears which may paralyse me for eternity, and face life as it comes to me? Of course there is a simple way, if we are prepared to give a try! Dissociate oneself from the chains of the past, and one is free from the fears which had kept oneself under control for years.

But why should our inner selves take refuge in the past experiences, be they positive or negative? The answer is rather simple: the self has to have certain anchor points, where it can place itself, when there are external attacks, and most often the past experiences provide such anchor points; these are so-called secure, safe-zones, but one may forget that in the long run these anchor points may become our chains. Dissociating oneself from the past experiences may not be as simple; but one may surely try to become conscious of what the past experiences could do to one's present.

Anyone who is frightened of one's inner self is sure to end up with defeat, because even the worst coward can defeat the most ferocious hero who has been defeated by own's own inner self. At the same time, even the best of external enemies cannot defeat the one who has freed himself/herself from the clutches of the inner self. Is it hard to dissociate ourselves from our past? It should not be, because unless we dissociate ourselves from the past, we cannot authentically live the present; anyone who has not left behind the baggage of the past, cannot taste freedom, happiness and peace.

Fear Factor (1)

If there is one key to disaster in one's persona life, it is certainly the 'fear factor'. Fear, triggered by whatever it may be, can be fatal; what it does is to cripple one's confidence in oneself, in the world around and in God (or the Supreme Being, if you wish). And what is this fear, that can create havoc in our lives, and how do we handle them? These are not simple questions which can be answered in a few words; the greatest teacher, who can explain to us threadbare the answers to these questions, is undoubtedly life itself. But let us point out to a few guideposts which may come handy when in need.

One thing is for sure: fear is for the most part imaginary! We may assume that there is an objective fact behind the fear, but that is not the case. Take for instance, one of the most common fears is of failure. Most of us are frightened of failures - of future, success in examinations, career, relationships, and we imagine failure to happen in all possible areas of our personal and social lives. There are persons who assert that they were frightened of failure (which they swear was real), and they had to face it! The fact is one of the most important reasons for failure was not the person was incapable of success, but the fear!

The objective situations for all those who face examinations remain the same, and the basic capability to get through the examinations is also the same in most cases, and yet how is it that some manage to fail! Were they destined to fail? Of course not! There is nothing pre-destined! Once fear cripples our confidence and positive thinking, already then the failure has begun. The reverse can also be true; those who are not intellectually so gifted, and yet due to their confidence and perseverance, would get through the examinations easily, and confidently. That was just to show what fear can do to us!

Another popular misconception regarding fear is that it is universal; it is true all of us are afraid of something or other; have we not heard about great war heroes and police commanders who are afraid of cockroaches or garden lizards? Or well educated women who are frightened of frogs? But as we grow up in life, we keep shedding most of the fears, and if we fail to shed them, but cling to them, that is where the problem starts. Is it not true that there are more people who would think a rope to be a snake in darkness, and experience certain fear deep within? All that would free them fear is to throw a small stone at it, or stir it with a stick!

The objective reality outside of us does not change, but only our thinking changes; the snake does not become a rope nor does the rope becomes a snake; but the thinking goes through a change in our mind, from day to night. But is there a way of asserting the reality as it is, instead of putting an extra label on it, as something what it is not? It is possible through mind assertion! In the mind I need to assert that it is not a snake but merely a rope! Mind you, this can make miracles - with mind assertion, even if it is a snake, for instance, and still you will be able to get over it with great ease and confidence!

Lively Answers

When friends meet after ages, one question which they ask each other is this: where have you been all these years? Whatever be, there cannot be a satisfactory answer to this question from anyone. All the answers may only sound as nothing more than a matter of fact! Now, let me turn this question to myself. More than a month since I visited the blogger, and a few friends of mine enquired some days ago, what had happened to the blog! Had I forsaken it altogether? I knew that any answer to these volley of questions was not going to really address the question. In fact, I have come to understand the different levels of questions and answers. Not all questions require answer; literature calls them rhetoric questions. I may smartly pass off some of the vital questions as truly rhetoric questions, while frantically trying to run away from addressing real questions.

Questions are generally asked in order to elicit an answer; but there are other kinds of questions, which carry a cart-load of pre-suppositions and pre-judgements. Anyone is wary of these kinds of annoying questions, which may sometimes cross the boundaries of decency and decorum. One of the best and most difficult answers to such questions, I have learned from life is silence. Are there more questions, then the better way to face them is through more and prolonged silence. And there can be no better way to retaliate to the questioner's mean and narrowmindedness than by keeping mum!

But am I going to exercise that way of answering the question, where I had disappeared for more than a month, since I last visited the blogger! Nope! There are answers which are implied in the questions, and even when one does not speak out the answer, the questioner is sure to get the answer by looking at the face, or the body language. But lucky that I am hiding myself behind the screen of this laptop, and those who would toss questions to me are not here to observe my face to get a clue to the answer. But the fact is that feastive moments are not the kind of time that should be spent behind the lifeless screens of the laptop or the desktop. There has been so much of life around me, and it would have been a sad sight were I to sit down in my room to "imagine" what was happening outside.

The feastive season is not yet over, and the air is still mingled with magical fragrance; the tiny flowers of the bokul on the road have spread a carpet, and their fragrance have added to the drunken state of the early winter. The fragrance was lively, and it appeared to me that she was frantically looking for her lost lover in the alleys and bylanes of the city. The early morning wearing a chill weather, forcing the lazy babes sleeping long to pull the sheets over their bodies! There was life outside, and there it is still. How can one leave behind life to go after the lifeless notions!

I wish I was able to take home a handful of the fragrant bokul flowers, and fill my room with its fragrance; but when the fragrance of the bokul flowers mingled with the morning air, was nothing less than bloodymary! I was out all these days searching, finding and treasuring life - life in a thousand forms and shapes, and it was a joyful experience to life spreading her wings and fly in the limitless blue sky, all in a wonderful array! When one is guided by the spirits of life, then one becomes out of control, and everything then becomes a journey in faith! That is where one can find the true self of one's being, whose other name is but God!

The Smart Passers

It is unfortunate that some of the smartest persons are not the most admired persons by a cross section of people. We know that the smart people are those who have a fairly high intelligence (we may say they have a good IQ), endowed with a lot of qualities which make them enviable persons; on the other side of the spectrum, we may find that these are people who have low on emotional quotient (EQ) and that may cause their downfall. Therefore being smart has its own share of disadvantages, especially when it comes to inter-personal relationships. Today let us reflect about such people, what makes them tick, and what makes them some of the most abominable characters on earth.

He is highly talented, gifted for languages, excellent organizer (who even while remaining inside his room, could organize a mammoth crowd, with perfect and calculated order and discipline), charming person, especially to the members of the opposite sex, shrewd and calculative to the core. He is quite popular among the people, but not among the people he lives with. There is one difference: the people who live with him know him thoroughly, while those others know him from only what they see and hear. People of this category are like sugar-coated pills, they may get their work done by hook or by crook, and dump the people who helped them until they would need their help.

While some of us youngsters were living in a Jesuit community some years ago, we have a companion, who loved to hold too many portfolios, though his ill-health restricted his movement, but he was more than happy to be in full control over the place. There were two young men who had come for a year's experience in that place, and were in a sense computer savvy. So whenever this companion wanted some work to be done by these two youngsters, in the morning, during breakfast he would be seen wishing the two companions good morning, and enquire from them how they were. Soon these two friends found out that whenever he came to wish them good morning, there was a work to be done. So it happened so that in the morning if they found him coming to the dining room, they would run away from the place.

The so-called smart people have many trump cards to play with. One of their excellent cards is the ease with which they would be able to pass their responsibilities on to others, most often the gullible and the vulnerable. They are ace passers of bugs. You would find them always busy, though if you try to probe what they were busy with, you would be disappointed to find that they were not preoccupied with any work, but they only pretend to be busy. Their sweet words would melt even the mighty stones; you may never hear any harsh word from them. While they talk sweetly to you, they may not be all that charitable about others, and you can be sure that when they talk to others, you may be one of the favorite subjects!

I consider people of this sort as venom, slowly poisoning the society we live in. While they get all their work done by any means possible, they themselves may not do any thing, not even their own responsibilities. Alas for those who associate with these men and women, for they may be too soon enticed by gifts of all sorts, and will find themselves hooked to their gentle orders. If you are able to see through their trickery and keep a safe distance, you may fall into their bad books, and may fall out of their favor too. But that would only save your skin, besides your strength and energy. Beware of these people, for you do not know when they may entice you and make you do their bidding!

When nature winked

The calm and serene nature is a welcome relief to people who know only life within the four walls of their houses; when the trees and plants are bathed time and again, washing away all the pollute and dirt that human ingenuity has dumped on them, it is a joyful sight. It is like a mother bathing her child, washing her gently and carefully, wiping her out with a towel… what greater care can nature show on the flora and fauna that humanity never learned to respect and appreciate!

It is still drizzling and I know it is time for me to pack up my things and return home, to the four walled room, which has managed to hide the glories of nature from my eyes. When I wake up in the morning, I don’t see the sun, and when I lie down on bed at night, the moon does not sneak into my room. The singing of the birds do not reach my ears; all that I hear in the morning is the honking of the vehicles, which can throttle the sweet scented melodies of the birds. But what use grumbling about these, for I can do nothing, except get out of them to be in close proximity with nature.

What a lovely sensation would one get, when the gentle drops of rain fall on to our skin; even the most spectacular artificial fountains and water falls, cannot recreate this effect. But I would like to find who had discovered or invented the concept of an umbrella, to prevent the water drops falling on to me! What if I get drenched? Some are so very frightened of getting wet in the rain; and sometimes I long to get fully drenched in the rain, and when it is done, rush to wipe myself out, so that I don’t catch cold or get fever. But it is a wonderful experience to occasionally let the rain waters wash me.

As I walked gazing at the plants and trees, listening to the gentle fall of the drops of rain on to the already saturated earth, I wondered why the lightning and thunder? Then it suddenly occurred to me that lightning is just the winking of nature on the stern-looking humanity. When men and women on the earth are too serious and do not bother her, then she has to awaken us by thundering, just to give us a jolt, to say, wake up and look at me! But do we take note of her, when she is just in front of our eyes?

Nature has mechanisms which are magical for human mind and spirit, but very few really care to submit themselves into her hands, to be charged and changed. The earth scent after the rains is heavenly, and one may have to experience it, to get a feel of what it really means. I know it clears my chocked throat, clears my lungs and charges my heart and soul. Nature is the free charger of energy, which no Horlicks or Bornvita can ever give so freely. But sadly only the people who have the eyes of faith can find her charm and be enticed by her lovely make!