Life's Bitter Joke

Humor is of several kinds; I won’t be able to enumerate all of them, but I know for sure there is genuine humor which help widen our face-lines, and there is wry humor which would only arouse uneasy feelings in the listeners/audience, and there is yet another kind of humor which is cruel. There are similarly jokes, which instead of make us laugh, may only prompt us to shed tears, bitter tears. This is what can be termed as life’s bitter jokes, and today I am going to share about one such bitter joke one of my friends narrated to me. It is immaterial who had narrated to me, but the fact is that it happened today to people known to me. And believe me, jokes have no color or creed or nationality, and can apply to all people in all situations.

People do make mistakes, but if we fail to look at the people who make mistakes, and only blow the mistakes out of proportions, we are bound to lose the touch of humanness, and that may be dangerous. This senior lady, who had lost her husband some three decades ago, had brought all her children up single-handedly, courageously, crossing several barriers, hills and valleys. She worked hard to make a living, and even as she nears her seventies, she stitches religious habits for a group of nuns, and that keeps her going. She is assisted by her eldest daughter, mother of six children, and wife of a drunkard, who is the sole bread-winner of the family. The mother and daughter duo had received an order to make a religious habit for a nun, and today was the deadline.

The senior lady had not eaten during the day, struggling to keep the deadline, and rushed to hand it over to the nun, who on seeing the outfit, shouted at the lady at the top of her voice. There had been a lack of communication, but that was not the reason for her to lose her temper and shout at the lady, who had made this outfit with great care and love. Her daughter younger daughter, who stood close-by was stunned to see how her mother was being humiliated, and was deeply hurt by the rude and rough behavior of the nun. The senior lady and her daughter depended on the nuns to make a living, and they valued the orders of the nuns greatly, but they could not believe their eyes when the nuns began to pour out all their anger on the lady.

The mother and her younger daughter were both greatly hurt, but they are helpless; the ruthless and cruel way the nun had treated them was more than they could bear. If the duo was well off, they could just say goodbye to the nuns, but they cannot afford to do that. They have to repair the habit, by replacing it with another set, and the senior lady was ready to travel for three hours to purchase cloth to replace the one they had made with wrong measurements. When I think of this situation, I feel sad, and at one moment there were a couple of tears at the corner of my eyes. How could life be so cruel to the have-nots? Is not there a way out for them to live with the honor and dignity they were created with? Should they continue to live on the mercy of the people who could hire and fire them at will?

The one image which comes to my mind when I think of the bitter jokes of life, is that of clowns of ancient day plays; these were men from the lowest strata of society, who struggled to make both ends meet, and opted to make a living by making people laugh on stage. While they laughed and made others laugh on stage, the reality at back-stage and at home was just the opposite. They laughed while their hearts cried bitterly, and such is the laughter the mother and daughter would have been indulging in today, and when I heard this incident narrated to me, I was helpless as to how I could console the daughter, leave alone her aging mother. It is one thing to listen to others narrating to us as it happened to them, and it is another thing to experience it for ourselves.

Painful Parting

It was hard for me to leave home this time; I had been going home for brief stay over the past 25 years, each time spending just a few days to one full month, but have not felt so emotional and sentimental while leaving as during this time. I know there were more reasons for me to feel emotional this time. My sister had not been keeping too well two days before I left the place, and I felt sad about her situation; aging parents and her too young daughter. When she is sick, it is painful to see her, helplessness writ large on her face; this is a reality she has to get used to, and that has been affecting me.

It is of late that I have come close to my family, especially my sister, niece and my parents; the others - three families of brothers, all of them well settled, and earning fat salaries - had not been my concern. After the sudden death of my brother-in-law, I felt it part of my responsibility to stand by my sister and niece, and help her cope with life. What I could do to her is mighty little, however that had been bringing cheer in her and her daughter. I was happy to see that she is able to face life now fearlessly, and support parents in their old age too.

Over the past 25 years, ever since I left home, I have realized that the poor and the needy do not expect money or riches from us sannyasis, what they do look up to us is, our compassion, our love and time. On more than one occasion, my sister had made the same appeal to me, that I stand by her side, and she would be able to face life boldly. I may not be able to realize how hard it is to face life in real life situation; we live in artificial surroundings, where everything is taken care of; it is not so easy to battle with the odds of life and still retain one's sanity.

Though she knows for sure she has to put up with so much of inconvenience in order to bring up her daughter, and to support the aging parents, and adjusting to their idiosyncrasies, one thing is sure, she is not the one who would easily give up hope. The strong determination to keep striving has brought her up to this point, and I feel happy and proud for her. First it was the deadly cancer which bounced on her, some 10 years ago, and when she came out of it victorious, life could not bear her victory, and thus came a bigger shock, the loss of her husband. Now she has shown that she is a victor in every way.

My way of life does not permit me to keep close contact with her, or in that case with anyone else. However I know the little I do to support and stand by her side will not go in vain. I felt sad while leaving the house, because my presence at home could bring smile in her face, and she could rely on me for any kind of emergency. As an elder brother, this is my responsibility and privilege, and I feel I am not able to fulfill this, and that was bothering me. But deep within I know for sure that my invisible presence will help her to lean on me when needed, and gain that encouragement and support, which can keep her going.

Guts to Call Cards

Not many persons have the guts and courage that some women have and constantly exhibit in a world where fear and inhibition are considered virtues. When I heard how this mother dared to shame the 40 plus aged man who tried to misbehave with her daughter in the bus - rubbing his body shamelessly on the young girl of about 14, I felt that this is the kind of woman that the world needs today, to tackle the many men who still think that they can take for granted that women are weak and would tolerate any kind of non-sense, without registering their protest. But the time has come for such men to reconsider their age-old concepts and judgments.

I would be happy even if there is one such woman in a hundred who would dare to blast the bastion of men, and challenge them at all cost. I remember many of my friends telling me, But why make such a fuss with the men who are not going to change their ways of behavior even if I protest! That is precisely what many a men take for granted, that women would not bother to challenge them, because ultimately they are going to be losers, whatever be the context and verdict. This woman however today teaches the world that the courage to be is part of any woman in the world, and if they hide this courage, they are not fully themselves!

According to the worldly standards today, the women and men who show extreme courage and guts, especially in favor of someone dear to them, are the easiest targets of the people who wish to take the whole world for a royal ride, and it is not seldom that these people become casualties too soon. The world is too frightened of the people with guts and great courage, and it cannot tolerate them, because such people can defy not only the material world, but also any moral and spiritual world. However the irony is because of these people that the world is still sane.

With guts and courage, what one requires to have in life is the moral stand to face all consequences, most of them going against them and the values they had been upholding; life would not be a bed of roses for these people, but if they want to have a quiet, calm life, then it would be better for them to hide their true selves and flow with the world. Unfortunately the world does not have too many whistle-blowers in our society, for these people cannot blow the whistle until there is some kind of security for their very existence.

It is sad that neither the society, nor nature is there to protect and safeguard the people who have the guts and courage to face all odds, questioning those which go against natural and social law, thus giving vent to their yearning to be fully human fully alive. As I salute this lady who had shown such guts to protect the honor of her girl, I only wish that every woman in society emulate the example of her, and show to the world of men that women cannot be considered just an object of pleasure, but that they too have a rightful place in society, which the men are bound to respect and honor!

The Forced Farewell

My friend was almost in tears, when she saw the middleaged man in tears. It is not common to come across a middleaged man shedding bitter tears. He was shedding tears thinking of the plight of his daughter. She, the girl in her twenties, cared very little for the emotional outburst of her father, who but had to struggle from morning till evening to make both ends meet. But she cared less for the father, who could not even afford to provide two square meals for his family members. The plight of poverty-stricken family had found a safe haven for the daughter in a secure convent walls, hoping they may see their daughter have atleast three meals a day, and a worry-free life.

But the dreams of the parents were shortlived, when the young girl decided to quit the secure life, just because she found the "correction" of the sisters too harsh. She might have had an ego, that was too bloated, and she could not think of anyone correcting her. She would do what she wanted, and everyone will have to accept it as coming from God almighty. She found these corrections excruciatingly painful, and her pain was perhaps more than the pain of her hungry father, who was proud to think that her daughter was in a town, growing up speaking English. If he too was as adamant and unrelenting as his daughter, life would have been quite different for this girl.

Life for a young girl in this world is not a bed of roses, or a smooth sail; it has its own share of toils and troubles, especially if a girl is not brought up in a conventional mould. The dropouts and distracted will have to find ways to kill not only their time, but also people with whom they can build a world of their dreams. But who is there to help this girl to start life anew, with renewed vigor and strength? Surely not her father, who is too tired of life already in his forties. His pleading with his daughter could not soften the heart of the girl, and she was leaving pastures green, in search of dry deserts, to find an oasis!

The playful heart of this girl has not taught her a lesson, that the world is not as friendly and warm as it always looks; she had taught the mirages as real, and when she is thirsty and rushes towards the mirages in order to quench her thirst, that would be the moment of self-realization, and that would be the moment she may remember what her father meant for her; what it means to be under the safe and secure care of someone you can trust. When buffeted by the never-ending currents of life, she might look for a breathing space, where she may find someone to wipe her tears. It may be too late before she finds herself in such a situation.

No one on earth has the audacity to decide the fate of another human person; not even God has the power to do that. Each one decides his/her own fate, and that would determine what we make life of. One may tell me that the fruit of a particular tree is bitter or sour, but if I am determined to taste it for myself, who can help me? But unfortunately, in life there may not be second chances, and there may not be avenues to take a U-turn. But she will find her way one day, and remember with gratitude those men and women who had corrected her to mend her ways, for it is only by pruning can a tree reach its full maturity!