Painful Parting

It was hard for me to leave home this time; I had been going home for brief stay over the past 25 years, each time spending just a few days to one full month, but have not felt so emotional and sentimental while leaving as during this time. I know there were more reasons for me to feel emotional this time. My sister had not been keeping too well two days before I left the place, and I felt sad about her situation; aging parents and her too young daughter. When she is sick, it is painful to see her, helplessness writ large on her face; this is a reality she has to get used to, and that has been affecting me.

It is of late that I have come close to my family, especially my sister, niece and my parents; the others - three families of brothers, all of them well settled, and earning fat salaries - had not been my concern. After the sudden death of my brother-in-law, I felt it part of my responsibility to stand by my sister and niece, and help her cope with life. What I could do to her is mighty little, however that had been bringing cheer in her and her daughter. I was happy to see that she is able to face life now fearlessly, and support parents in their old age too.

Over the past 25 years, ever since I left home, I have realized that the poor and the needy do not expect money or riches from us sannyasis, what they do look up to us is, our compassion, our love and time. On more than one occasion, my sister had made the same appeal to me, that I stand by her side, and she would be able to face life boldly. I may not be able to realize how hard it is to face life in real life situation; we live in artificial surroundings, where everything is taken care of; it is not so easy to battle with the odds of life and still retain one's sanity.

Though she knows for sure she has to put up with so much of inconvenience in order to bring up her daughter, and to support the aging parents, and adjusting to their idiosyncrasies, one thing is sure, she is not the one who would easily give up hope. The strong determination to keep striving has brought her up to this point, and I feel happy and proud for her. First it was the deadly cancer which bounced on her, some 10 years ago, and when she came out of it victorious, life could not bear her victory, and thus came a bigger shock, the loss of her husband. Now she has shown that she is a victor in every way.

My way of life does not permit me to keep close contact with her, or in that case with anyone else. However I know the little I do to support and stand by her side will not go in vain. I felt sad while leaving the house, because my presence at home could bring smile in her face, and she could rely on me for any kind of emergency. As an elder brother, this is my responsibility and privilege, and I feel I am not able to fulfill this, and that was bothering me. But deep within I know for sure that my invisible presence will help her to lean on me when needed, and gain that encouragement and support, which can keep her going.

Sane Soul-mates (3.b)

Sometimes if we are lucky we may come across men and women who had managed to remove the obstruction which prevented them communing with their spirits directly and spontaneously. These persons may not be very difficult to identify, because even the ordinary persons would be able to take note of the glow surrounding them. They would radiate such a spiritual aura that anyone who comes in contact with them would experience the power of their spirit communication. Even if there is one single person in a thousand, the community is sure to experience the power of the soul, of the spirit, and they would be able to guide the community to greater spiritual heights.

One such person that the Indian sub-continent had witnessed some years ago was the Mahatma, Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi of happy memory. If he was spectacular in nature, then we have the tribal leaders of Sidu Kanhu brothers, and each state would be able to identify such persons still living or dead. Even if they are dead, their spirit would be alive and active in a society. Today I would like to bring before my eyes one person who had remarkable ease to speak through his spirit. Gandhi was not merely a political force, who fought for the independence of India, but he was also a spiritual force, who taught the noble ideals of ahimsa (non-violence) and satyagraha (search for truth), and thanks to his contact with his spirit, today India can boast of relative peacefulness.

I would like to consider the kind of qualities which mark the people who have access to the well-springs of their spirits, and are able to affect the world they live in : fearlessness, certain amount of daring spirit; no one can harm them, neither death, not killing, they can defy any human power; conviction which spring from life experience: they would stand by what they are convinced of, and no one can turn them from the path they have chosen; spiritual power: these people go beyond all that is material and human, and they put their trust in a power which is lasting, eternal and transcendental; people of the heart: unlike the people who are guided by their heads (logic) these people are guided by their hearts, instincts and inner dynamism.

I can also think of some persons who enter into this spiritual realm, when they are subjected to certain unique kind of experiences. I remember one of my very senior friends narrating to me about her younger brother, who had been informed by the physicians that he would live but for one more month – he had reached advanced case of cancer and there would be no remedy for it, but bear with it until the last day! But this man, I was told wished to defy the impending death by being happy, spending his time in the hospital as joyful as he could, cheering up his other companions and family members… and when the month has passed, I hear that the person has not died, and instead there is a great improvement in his disease… this man was able to frighten cancer, and that is the power of his spirit!

If I am not able to live by my spirit, then I need to take a good look at the four characteristics of persons who live by their spirits: fearlessness, conviction, spiritual power, heart-centered! I would like to ask myself what makes me fearful, why am I afraid of living by my convictions, what makes me give up the spiritual power and seek material and worldly power, and why do I resort to the head instead of the heart? I am also aware that I am not going to change into a person animated by the spirit all of a sudden; I will not become like Mahatma Gandhi or Sidu Kanhu over night; it would take me some years before I can live by my heart spontaneously, without anyone telling me, or myself being aware of it! But my long journey can begin today!

Date with Fate

One of the very senior sisters asked for my prayers for her younger brother who is fighting a fierce battle with cancer; the doctors have given him three months, and then he would be no more. There is no medicine which can really give him relief, and so he is counting his days. Just imagine a man counting the 90 days the doctors have given him. Given that he had remained single whole of his life, now entering into 75th year, what would be the kind of feelings he might be going through. I feel frightened to imagine such a situation; what can you do with the 90 days left on earth, and what is it that you would carry with you when the clock strikes at your last breath parts?

I was told that this gentleman told his 12 years senior sister that he was not afraid of facing death; he would be happy to be united with Jesus, his Lord! I shudder even as I imagine the man uttering these words rather joyously and courageously. Sometimes we have no other explanation in life than to resort to spiritualization of the fate we are pushed to. If we are pawns in the hands of gods, what is it that we can really do, than to resign to what they would wish for us? The situation might be quite different if he had had a family to care for; he would not have been left alone in the hospital ward, with friends occasionally dropping by, but this is a different kind of end than the one we are used to.

Science and technology have improved to such an extent that physicians are able to diagnose most of the ailments, though they may have to get a dozen blood tests to be done, and provide appropriate remedy, so that the doors to death are kept locked for many more years to come. But still there are certain doors which humanity is unable to keep locked for too long; they do not have much control over death, coming through the back door. Cancer and heart attacks are the two modern agents of death, and if cancer kills a person slowly and steadily, heart attack kills the person soon, if not diagnosed immediately. We lost our brother-in-law on the spot; we could never think the end would come so soon.

Sometimes I do this exercise : imagine that when I get up the next morning, I am no more; in such a situation, how should I handle myself. Sometimes while doing this exercise, I automatically arrange my table neatly, keep my room a little neat and tidy, and put a little order in the room, so that if I die, I do not leave a mess behind. But I need to do this exercise more often in order to complete the unfinished works soon, constantly make effort to put an order in my room, especially in keeping the things in their respective places, completing the unfinished tasks, so that the person who may look for things may not curse me then!

But deep within I feel so terrible for this man! How can life be so cruel to him? 90 days may pass by so fast, and one fine morning the physicians may tell him his final hour has come. I secretly hope that the word of the doctors does not come true; if only this man has got desire to live and not die, then probably no ailments and cancer can really take away his life. I have seen a few religious Sisters fighting with cancer joyously, even after the doctors had given them the number of years and months they may live; but they have disproved medical science, because their zest for life is so strong that death cannot approach them. The beauty of these people is that they have managed to defeat death, and that is the reason why these people are so very joyous and enthusiastic.

When the swine started marching in…

It appears as if George Orwell was to be believed in the context of the present day realities; human beings are pushed to corners, when the animals begin to retaliate for all the evils dumped on them. Animal Farm today is not just a fiction, parodying the political tenor of the era, but a reality, in literal terms. We were cautioned by chicken flu, which left thousands of men and women (my father being one of the victims) crippled for over a week, draining their energy, and subjecting them to their beds. Today it is swine flu, and the world is witnessing a steady rise in the toll the swine flu is causing across the globe.

One just cannot imagine how and why the animals have suddenly turned against the human race, the so-called custodians of the entire universe. One might even think that it is a calculated attack on the humanity, or else how could it happen that the flu are being caused by the most trusted of all animals and birds just one after another. As we still grope in darkness trying to hurry up our pharmaceutical companies to find a vaccine to remedy the situation, we just don’t know what is next. Is it the dog flu or the cow flu? But we can be sure, something will be in the offing, even before we clean up the dirt made by the swine flu!

What is strange the swine flu has camouflaged itself in the form of common flu, and had decided to attack the weak. There are different stories going rounds across the country, which questions how the flu entered into the nation, who had been guarding all entry points so very efficiently! It is not the time to discuss about how it all began; ultimately we cannot blame even the US alone for ‘creating’ the flu and exporting to the developing Asian countries. It could have happened to any country. All that we can do today is accept the reality and fight a battle to overcome it before it spreads fast.

The chicken flu and the swine flu are great tests to the notion of human supremacy over animals and birds. Who on earth thought that the flu caused in these animals and fowls can really kill the most sophisticated human beings. With all scientific and technological advancement, we are not in a position to arrest the spread of the flu at all! I assume, the swine who were responsible for the flu, were they alive, would be having a hearty laugh at the expense of the inadequately prepared human race. They might even convene a meeting at the jungles to claim supremacy over humanity.

But it is a lesson for us who thought too great about ourselves, to realize that our downfall can be caused by even the innocuous animals and birds, and not necessarily by deadly diseases like cancer and HIV. It is also time that we treat the animals and birds, trees and plants with certain amount of dignity and respect, and not as objects at our disposal. If only we turn to the animals and birds with a little more compassion and love, they too would reciprocate the same love and compassion in some form or other, and in such situations, retaliation and tit for tat cannot become the rule of the game. But is the human race ready to take this lesson seriously?

Defreezing Depression

When on e of my closest friends sent an SMS to me saying she had been feeling lonely and was undergoing certain kind of depression, I shuddered and shivered. This are two words that I would not like to hear from my friends (not that there are no other word making my blood to clot – cancer, my sister had gone through the pain of it, and heart-attack, my sister losing her husband due to it, are quite foreboding even today)! If only we realize the causes of depression and loneliness, and what they could lead one to, we cannot take such feelings lightly. At some time or other, even the most joyous of people experience such fleeting moments and depending on how they handle such feelings, they may get out of them, or move from bad to worse.

Believe it or not, loneliness is the patrimony of the modern generation. Time has become the most expensive commodity in the business world, and human relations the biggest casualty. There are more and more objects of pleasure entering our malls and supermarkets to keep us on our toes 24x7. Keep our toes, did I say? Precisely! We find it hard to sleep for a few hours continuously – cat’s nap is what keep many business people and high-class people going, though their life-span is shortened considerably due to negligence of their health. Each one in the world is slowly turned into a microcosm of himself, herself, with no one to give company. What we are left with are a few electronic and digital gadgets, who have replaced our grandmas and grandpas, even papas and mamas. Relating to machines is quite different from persons. Feeling lonely is the by-product of market economy: and this is a problem that needs to be nibbed already at the bud.

If we have to do a survey of the number of persons going through acute to chronic depression these days, we would be shocked to know that the number is alarmingly high, and is always on the rise. There are more and more cases of suicides among the affluent and the so-called high-classes in society. What makes them resort to such cowardly acts of ending their lives? For one thing, they often feel they are left alone to face the endless row of problems and complex situations beyond their capacity. They lose all hope in their friends and neighbors, and the world becomes a bitter reality they can hardly bear. They feel they would be happier to end their lives – by whatever means! But are there alternative ways by which they can help themselves and look at life with a different vision?

Of course there are ways and means of overcoming the feelings of loneliness and depression. No one on earth is so unfortunate not to have even a single person in the universe with whom he/she does not have a very close relationship. It is not necessarily that husbands will always have their wives as their closest confidantes, and the opposite may also be true. As soon as a fleeting feeling of loneliness and depression surfaces, we need to call such people and pour ourselves out. Keeping such feelings within may be dangerous and it may even lead to undesirable consequences. Secondly to keep oneself busy with the kind of things one is fond of; the idea is not give any scope to be idle, for it is an idle mind which plots against life. Thirdly, watch comics and humorous films on the television or video, and laugh with the characters, and this will ease things out a little. Make sure to stack a few top humorous comedies of Charlie Chaplain and Laurel & Hardy in your cupboard.

If you don’t have people with whom you could confide, don’t worry; just walk into a nearby garden and speak to the trees and grass, flowers and leaves. Pour yourself to them, and you may listen to their thin voice, and you will realize that they are indeed good friends. Or look at a bird sitting on a branch of a tree and strike a conversation with it, and it may have a sweet message of friendship for you. Or speak to the clouds, or the Sun, the moon… every created reality around you. Probably it will not take you too long to realize that you are no longer alone in this vast universe, all are there with you, by your side. If you realize this, then you will also feel that you have the wellsprings of life running from your heart, and you had not paid your attention to it so far! Now is the wake up call to fall back on these wellsprings of life!