Pants-Down Syndrome

The youth of the cities across the globe are struck by what I would like to call as “pants-down syndrome”. The young boys, especially the school and college going students, take pleasure in pulling down their pants, as the latest fad in the fashion world. It is sickening to see boys easily falling prey to this kind of subversive and ugly trends, without ever thinking if that makes them better human beings. To follow the current seems to be in vogue in today’s world, and those who do not fall in line with the trends are looked at suspiciously, and are even branded as traditionalists and conformists. These people are considered archaic and old-fashioned, who do not know how to appreciate the modern trends.

To flow with the current of the world seems to be the norm today, and everyone is so convinced of this that they would not dare to go away from the set norms of the society. Every fad and fashion which takes place in the United States of America or in the Europe seems to be catching the attention of the Indian youth, as much as other youth of different other growing nations. The implications which these have on the social and cultural lives of the people at large are not considered, and slowly these fads are sure to affect the native cultural fabric in some way or the other. But why would the youth bother about how their changing trends affect the native culture?

We are too quick to change things, which have been sustaining us for centuries and decades; we feel that variety is the spice of life, but we would love to swallow only the spice and may not like to have anything staple for sustenance. Many of the societies which are pioneers in ushering changes in society do it slowly and steadily, and they do not propose changes overnight, but study the present scenario of the socio-cultural setup and gradually infuse change. But that is not the case with our youth; anything they see on the television or on cinema, has to become their norm too.

Unfortunately our young people do not thinks sufficiently why they have to follow the fads and fashion started by somebody in the States or in the Europe. Blind following had been one of the greatest enemies of development in our country. We had an era, when the ordinary people deified the film actors and actresses, so much so some of the actresses had temple dedicated to their name. Cult worship is still strong in the country, and the fads and fashions often strengthen the fabrics of cult worship, which can later manipulated in order to win political mileage. But it is too complicated for the young people to consider all these angles before they plunge into a new style.

Dignity is something very personal to each one, and if there are attempts to waterdown the personal honor and dignity, they should be resisted by society; unfortunately that does not happen with the pants-down syndrome. Imagine parents allowing their children to follow this sort of meaningless and ugly fads, and if there are parents who take time to explain to them on the dangers of following this sort of fads, then probably many will think twice before borrowing anything blindly. However there is one big consolation, this fad is not going to stay for ever and ever; it is sure to disappear into thin air as quickly as it entered the cultural arena.

Tit for Tat

There are some men and women who still believe in tit for tat; an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, even though they know only too well that Jesus taught them a formula different from this one. Leave alone following the new formula of Jesus, that they should give even the garments to the one who likes to take the shawl, these people know how to strip people of the little dignity and honor they have, and love to place them on a pedestal stark naked, and call all the people around and declare that their opponents are stark naked. Such is the kind of thing that one would hate to come across, but when such a thing happens one is helpless.

The man had asked for a genuine feedback about him and his operations in public, and we took it seriously and opened our hearts to tell him how we feel about him, some of his bias and prejudices, some of his lopsided orientations, and least did we realize that he was going to fire us back for airing our opinions about him in public. No wonder, he made it a point to justify our feedback and the so-called remarks, and showed that he was more innocent than innocence itself. His duty and responsibility of asking for a feedback from the people who worked with him in decision making process is done, and now he is scot free to pounce on others.

He had acknowledged a day before that he had inherited a tendency to be judgmental from his cultural background, and was recognizing this trait in him in the recent years; but a day after again he came across vociferously to brand and judge me for what he does not have sufficient proof and evidence. I would not claim that I was altogether innocent, but when he said that I was suffering from “compulsiveness” to certain human error, I was wondering if he realized what he was telling about me in public. It is not that I was overly concerned about my image in public, but I realized he wanted to “humiliate” me in public and had pleasure out of it.

Just because you have learned a couple of words from psychology and psychiatry, you are not permitted to brand people with such labels, and I had heard him brand so many of fairly innocent men, and was feeling sad for it. At one or two occasions I had stood up and had cautioned him from branding others, especially on the basis of the personal prejudice he might have had with them. After our feedback on him, I thought he would begin to recognize the log lying in his eye, and instead he had gone to tell me to remove the spec from my eye. I did feel bad about this calumny, but was helpless; I remained silent, in order not to embarrass other companions.

I had felt that this gentleman is known for vindictiveness; if anyone stood against him, he would not hesitate to destroy their dignity and honor, and some of my close friends had narrated to me how he was trying to do that with them, and of late, I had tried to tell him directly how I felt in the past months about him, and how he was dealing with me. He would not accept many of the factual presentations and observations of mine, and instead he would jump to justify his reactions and judgments. I feel sad for him, because he had failed to read the Gospel he always swears by, and if only he could open his eyes, he would realize what the Gospel was calling him to. That is when his salvation may dawn.

Guts to Call Cards

Not many persons have the guts and courage that some women have and constantly exhibit in a world where fear and inhibition are considered virtues. When I heard how this mother dared to shame the 40 plus aged man who tried to misbehave with her daughter in the bus - rubbing his body shamelessly on the young girl of about 14, I felt that this is the kind of woman that the world needs today, to tackle the many men who still think that they can take for granted that women are weak and would tolerate any kind of non-sense, without registering their protest. But the time has come for such men to reconsider their age-old concepts and judgments.

I would be happy even if there is one such woman in a hundred who would dare to blast the bastion of men, and challenge them at all cost. I remember many of my friends telling me, But why make such a fuss with the men who are not going to change their ways of behavior even if I protest! That is precisely what many a men take for granted, that women would not bother to challenge them, because ultimately they are going to be losers, whatever be the context and verdict. This woman however today teaches the world that the courage to be is part of any woman in the world, and if they hide this courage, they are not fully themselves!

According to the worldly standards today, the women and men who show extreme courage and guts, especially in favor of someone dear to them, are the easiest targets of the people who wish to take the whole world for a royal ride, and it is not seldom that these people become casualties too soon. The world is too frightened of the people with guts and great courage, and it cannot tolerate them, because such people can defy not only the material world, but also any moral and spiritual world. However the irony is because of these people that the world is still sane.

With guts and courage, what one requires to have in life is the moral stand to face all consequences, most of them going against them and the values they had been upholding; life would not be a bed of roses for these people, but if they want to have a quiet, calm life, then it would be better for them to hide their true selves and flow with the world. Unfortunately the world does not have too many whistle-blowers in our society, for these people cannot blow the whistle until there is some kind of security for their very existence.

It is sad that neither the society, nor nature is there to protect and safeguard the people who have the guts and courage to face all odds, questioning those which go against natural and social law, thus giving vent to their yearning to be fully human fully alive. As I salute this lady who had shown such guts to protect the honor of her girl, I only wish that every woman in society emulate the example of her, and show to the world of men that women cannot be considered just an object of pleasure, but that they too have a rightful place in society, which the men are bound to respect and honor!

Lords of my Life

We do not want anyone to lord over us, and that is the most insulting and humiliating thing that we can think of. Even when we work in an office as a subsidiary to someone else, we feel that she should be treated with dignity and honor, that befits every human person. Just because I am subordinate to someone else, does not necessarily mean that this person can treat me as s/he wants. When my dignity and honor are in stake, I may find ways of getting out of such situation, unless I am ready to face all humiliation and dishonor in order to cling to the job. Sometimes it is a question of survival vis-à-vis living with dignity.

If that is the case with most of us, when it comes to handling problems, difficulties and challenges, especially related to human relations, we often tend to let others take full control over us. In other words, we joyfully and unconditionally hand over the key to our inner self to others, and when they begin to control us, we feel bad for dancing according to their tunes. Most often we tend to behave according to the expectations of others, and that is the reason why it is so very easy to make us happy or unhappy. Others know what can make us tickly with joy, and what can bring tears in our eyes, and they would make use of this formula wisely in order to get the maximum out of us.

My proposition in the above paragraphs may have remained still a riddle; let me put it across plainly. I have realized that I take the words, behaviors and response of people towards me so very seriously, that everything they say or do to me affects me, positively or negatively. I could check for myself: how easy it is to make me float in the clouds of happiness; a few words of appreciation or flattery is all that is required. Or how easy it is to make my blood boil – a few words of contempt, of indifference, or insult. In either case, I have given the key to my secret inner self to others, and they can make me either happy or sad, as they wish, and they are absolutely sure I would respond to them as expected. Is it not a sad situation?

In such circumstances, our life becomes just a monkey play; if the keeper were to tell me something, I would do it promptly. If he asks me to jump, I would do; if he asks me to kick him, I would do, without thinking if I should really do what he tells me. But is it possible for me to respond differently? Of course I can, and there is not a single soul on earth who can question me why I responded differently. It is all a matter of re-programming my mind, so that when I get impulses which can either make me happy or sad, I tell myself that I would not be carried away by the impulses. Giving in to either of the impulses can lead me to doom, and I can find hundreds of examples for this.

Ultimately what would I want to do? I should not allow anyone to control me, through prompting a particular kind of impulses. It would be safe for me to defy their impulses and be what I am, and what I wish to be. In other words I should not be easily carried away by the words and actions of others; they may say whatever they may wish to, but I can still decide to take it or not, and to be moved by it or not. This is the situation when I truly become a spiritual person, not disturbed by praise or blame, and Bhagavad Gita would say that such are the persons dear to the Lord. When I do not allow myself to be touched and controlled by what others say and do, then I hold the key to my inner self, and am truly the master/mistress of my soul, and that is when I truly begin to live my life.