Fatal Obsession

The young man is talented, and is a gentleman to the core; but the problem with him is that he wishes to belong to a group of people who do not wish to consider themselves “gentlemen” in the way the world around would understand. He is too polished to belong to this group of men who make sincere attempts to be down to earth. His one and only interest in Indian classical music has kept him away from his other companions who have varied interests, and are not as obsessed as this gentleman, and that is where the problem begins. He has been thinking all along that he was made for music, and nothing else, and would do anything to pursue his interest in music, even by hook or by crook.

This attitude of the gentleman had landed him in trouble on several occasions; his condescending attitude towards his companions who are not as gifted as he is in music is sometimes so very evident that one can make out his motives. Unfortunately he has always considered himself the “best” of the lot in music, and if anyone else were to occupy his place, he finds it hard to accept, leave alone join others to sing or play the instruments. He has been doing this for several years, and maybe he will continue to do this for all the years to come, until he is cornered to face a realistic situation, where he might find his illusions crumble to nothing. But no one knows for sure, when that moment will come.

No one understands me and my interests – this has been one of his refrains to others all the time; anyone who does not encourage him to pursue his sole-interest in music is against him, and all those who let him have his way are good to him. If anyone were to understand him, then they should take it for granted that he is the most versatile classical singer; if they do not honor him with that recognition, then they are considered as music illiterate. This has been his trend, and we do not know where exactly he would land up after a few years; but one thing is sure, his life is not going to be a smooth sail… he is bound to face several storms and typhoons.

I would not think that music had made him less of a human; no. Any true music is supposed to arouse the human heart towards the appreciation of beauty and truth. If that does not happen with this gentleman that is an indication that something had gone wrong somewhere during his upbringing. It is hard for me to go to the details of how he came to be so obsessive with music all these years, and no one had administered to him the much needed shock therapy, to wake him up from the psychological slumber he is still in. Probably once he wakes up from this slumber, then he might be able to see truth as it is, without any additional color glasses.

But who would tell him that what he sees through the eyes of his obsession with music is only partial truth, and there are more elements which may be of greater importance than music, and lead him to enjoy beauty and truth in a more intense way. So long he is obsessed with music, he is not going to see beauty in other elements of nature or human creation. There is beauty in the blue sky, there is beauty in the creepers, helplessly climbing on a tree, there is splendor in a rose or lilly; we don’t need to strain ourselves to see beauty around us, and it would be narrow mindedness to think only music has rhythm. If I can find rhythm in the songs of the birds, in thunder and the rumbling of the streams, then I will find the most soothing music in nature, and then I may not need to take asylum with human-made music!

Noisy Silent Zone

Perhaps the place which is notorious for being the most noisy place on earth is very close to each one of us, and we may not even be aware that we are so easily getting used to this horrendous noise. The noise of course does not hurt us, because we have got used to it, and have even begun to like it. It is the noise of the inner self. Very seldom does this “chatter box” pause during our existence. The only exceptions are the following : children who have not reached the stage of self-realization, people who have no control over what they think and do, the so-called crazy people, the senior citizens who return to their second childhood and forget to listen to the noise.

During the life time, it is impossible for us to really escape from it; even if we do not want it to haunt us, it would still be there around. The noise of the mind is perhaps the most dangerous noise which can hurt not only our bodies, but also our spirits. It can dampen and discourage our spirits, and ultimately we may be turned into mere machines. Very few people on earth really care to take note of this noise, which is fully active even when we are asleep. The greatest of people are those who are able to control these noises, and through them and with them are able to enter into the inner silence of the heart, and that may be the moment of enlightenment.

All of us are easily lost in the noise, and the noises often take advantage of our situation and make us weak and vulnerable. The mind knows our Achilles’ heal, and it strikes just there, and in order to escape from its attack, one needs to go through a sadhana, studying the noisy zone, how it cripples the human spirit, what its real function is, and how one can flee from the crippling effects of the noisy silent zone. Far beyond this noisy zone is the still waters of silence, and anyone who drinks of this waters can hear the sweet melody of the stream, the passing of a gust of wind, and be lost in its wondrous medley of choruses.

Many spiritual gurus and enlightened masters have given us simple ways how we could peer through the noisy zone, and get a peek at the silence zone. Anyone who has tasted even a moment of silence, far beyond the noisy rattles of the mind, would venture to do anything in order to enter into a full communion with silence. We live in a world, where living with noise is considered a perfect way of life. Party floors blast noise, which is often dubbed as music, the person who can make the noisiest sound is considered a master craftsman. Has the world ever produced any master who has tried to make music out of silence?

Now let me come to the point… In the previous blog I had complained that I am not able to listen to others, not only to their words, but also to their pain and suffering, agony and anguish because my ears are stuffed with noises of all sorts, and I can hardly hear them, leave alone listen to them with attention. I wish to listen to them with all my heart, and that would be possible only when I am able to listen to the silent music of my heart; I might like to dance to the music, and invite the whole world to dance with me in the cosmic dance of the gods and goddesses. Then even the whimper of my brother or sister would arouse my feelings and sentiments. I would be so attuned to every movement of the hearts of others, that I would be able to enter into their hearts easily.

Silence of the Spirit (3.c)

The modern world is so frightened of silence, of the outer silence, and all the more the inner silence, of the heart, of the soul! The noise around us some how make us think that we are safe and secure, and nothing untoward could happen to us, but the fact is far from it. We are most often so frightened of the "noise" outside, that we have to subdue it with out iPods, or MP3 players, or the FM radio, attached to our cellular phones. I find the trend contagious, and more and more people are attracted to this menace of running away from 'noise'.

Today as I come to realize the two layers of reality that I have fathomed, and now stand at the threshold of my being, what I become more and more conscious of the endless silence beckoning me to jump into the deep. The silence may be deafening, and it may even be dangerous, because it may make me come face to face with the reality of my being, but that is what I feel will make me authentic, to own up what I am without hiding anything of my past or present. I stand before the silence of my spirit, not knowing what is in store for me and how I am going to face it, but face I will.

Going beyond the layers of the body and the mind, today I wish to sink into the silence of my soul, of my Being; that is where I am sure I will encounter the Lord of my soul, but when I stand before my authentic self, what more would I need. I know for sure, that the other name of my Being is God! When I behold his beauty and splendor, I know I would recognize my own image on him. It is this silence which can give me a foretaste of living an authentic life, in communion with my being. The nagging doubt plagues me often, but will I be ever be able to be in touch with my Being all the days of my life?

As I behold the serenity of the silence of my soul, I realize that everything I have received from the world is rubbish in comparison to the precious jewel of this eternal silence; I would like to savor the sweetness of this silence, even as I sit quietly, firmly grounded on the earth I have been born into, establishing myself on the frameworks of the mind, I know I will get the glimpse of this silence at sometime or the other; if not immediately, at least in the not so distant future. To go beyond name and shape is something that is very challenging and difficult for me, but when I come to experience silence, I cannot hold on to the values of the world. I submit myself to go beyond name and shape in the presence of the limitless silence.

I have been taught many things wrongly from my childhood; even my faith had been misrepresented to me. I had been taught that I can taste of eternity only in the next world, but here I am at the threshold of eternity, a slice of eternity offered to me on a platter. When I enter into the eternal silence, am I not entering into the world of eternity, and that is where God dwells, that is where all the righteous and saintly persons and creatures live; even the music, I presume is, composed of silence! So are the Alleluiah and Sanctus! I know as I enter into this silence, I am entering into an altogether different world, the world where all of us are permanent citizens, for that is where we all belong to!

Mutilating Music

The two-days college festival has raised the noise pollution in the vicinity to manifold, and the heap of dust which generally gathers on the furniture had doubled, due to the over-enthusiastic students, who were on the ad hoc noise competition, though no prize was given for this item. As one nears the college, it was obvious that one can listen to the numbers without getting close to the stage; one can easily make out the singer and the song from about 300 meters. But about 2000 odd students who had gathered at the grounds did not bother about the noise; they could still speak to their boy/girl friends over the mobile phones!

Who bothers about the noise and pollution? We all delight in making promises, declarations about how we would save the planet, but when it comes to annual functions, we let the students have what they want. I wish the college administration had the courage to tell the students that there is a decorum that needs to be observed in organizing college annual festivals. Western bands are the craze in all city colleges, though not too many of the students are used to listening English numbers, and there would be just about one third of the students who might enjoy such crazy-sounding, out-of-pitch, high sounding numbers.

In communication theories, noise is defined as unwanted, unpleasant sound, and that is what most of the modern singing turn out to be. It is the death of music in the name of voice modulation. Any abnormal and unusual noise is branded as creative expression, and higher the decibel of the noise created, the better it is esteemed. Maybe the so-called fusion artistes of the western tradition may have to listen for a second time some of the Indian classical music pieces, where one will observe that higher the pitch, the softer is the tonal quality, and even at the peak of one’s voice, the artiste would blend his voice with the instrument in such a way that there is perfect unison. That is the music which can reach directly into our hearts and arouse manifold feelings.

Kolkata has seen an alarming mushrooming of ‘bands’, Chandra Bindu, Lokhichara, Dheu, and the faster they appear, the quicker they disappear. Some of them survive because of one or two popular albums, and they imagine they have the artistic licence to do whatever they way, just because people had paid a price to purchase their albums, and they had done fairly well in the competitive market. But time will tell us that the people who know how to distinguish genuine soul-renting music from cheap, popular music, will one day throw these bands into oblivion, and bring back the traditional music forms. Then we shall hear again Tagore, Kazi Nazrul Islam, Atul Prasad, Ram Prasad, and we shall be elated to an altogether different realm.

Any attempt to bring dishonor to music is a dangerous attempt; the very people who may jump to the tune of some uncanny creative artist, may condemn the same music as noise. Human creativity can find different expressions to delve deep into the heart of all reality, and music can provide one familiar medium. If common people are deprived of this privilege to enter into another plane of reality through music, then music itself may transform its mode and reach the very people it is created for. Music can never be murdered, nor can it be mutilated. For no one can deny the music of one’s heart beat, one’s breathing, one’s flash of eyelids; for there is music in every being, both animate and inanimate, and those who can hear this music are truly heavenly beings!

Defeating Differences

First time in years I witnessed an auditorium overflowing with people; there were more people in the hall than it could accomodate. When all seats were full, more chairs were brought in from all possible places, and still there were more than fifty people standing and watching the song and dance performance by two of my companions. One a folk singer and another a classical dancer, and what may look strange, both of them are staying under one roof, in one Jesuit community. One may wonder, but how can that be possible? Folk and classical in common parlance, cannot co-exist; there is an in-born rivalry between the two, and in that case how is it that a folk singer and a classical dancer live peacefully in one house!

Over 25 years of training (or you may call it brain-washing), has made the two friends to go beyond their area of specializations and think in terms of looking at the common meeting points. We live in a world where differences are greatly highlighted, and similarities are often submerged by the overpowering differences. Some call them asserting of one's uniqueness, which makes one what s/he is. But then how do we account for the similarities, sometimes so very striking that we cannot help but vibe with one another?

The world would be a very different place if only people begin to look seriously at the similarities and leave the differences out of the matters of comparison. If there are so much of religious hatred and vengence, and brutal killing of one another in the name of religion, it is all because we had failed to look at the similarities we share, but only look at the differences. If we can only look even superficially the similarities we share in all spheres of life, then we would be foreced to acknowledge that we are all brothers and sisters, children of one mother!

But unfortunately there are people in the world around us who would not like us to acknowledge the similarities we enjoy, but only would project the differences, because that is how their hidden political agenda would be fulfilled. There are people who would not hesitate to make use of people in order to fulfil their ego. But anyone who is endowed with conscience and balanced consciousness would be propelled from deep within to shun any attempt to look at the differences with a magnifying glass, and look for similarities at all walks of life.

Can the folk be opposed to the classical? Where do they differ? These two are just two labels, and the difference is made by the people who wish to keep the differences in order to keep their status and privileged position. Some times down the century, the folk traditions were attributed to the people from the lower strata of society, while the classical traditions were attributed to the educated, high caste/class people. But times have changed, and it is time that we change our mentality too. The next time when I meet a stranger, and begin sharing with that person the similarities we share, I am sure to make him/her a friend in no time. For, who does not like a common ground where I feel the security of having people who are very much like me! That is the beginning of true human community!