Joy of Being

While watching a nine-minute long video of Nick Vijicic talking about what he has got, instead of being worried about what he did not have, I realized that he was touching upon something which is the root cause of all the evils in the world. With no hands and no legs, Nick is 23, and still growing strong, and goes around the world motivating people. Not having legs and hands did not deter him from venturing into areas which are unthinkable for such a person. He plays polo, swims, goes for skiing, and engages in real-estate business. He does all these without depending on the legs and hands he does not have. Wow, I said to myself!

If Nick is able to achieve so much in life, he attributed the success in life to three simple principles: perspective, vision and choices! His life is an illustration of how he turned the perspective of life topsy-turvy in order cultivate an habit of focusing his attention to what he could do, instead of what he could not. I am worried about what I do not have, and therefore make frantic attempts to get the objects of my desire, and in the process may not even bother about how this could affect others, either positively or negatively; my sole aim is to get what I do not have! I fail to notice the numerous things which have potentiality to produce some of the most noteworthy things… but I am obsessed with what I do not have.

In the recent days, I am becoming more and more aware that no one on this beautiful earth is poor enough that he/she has to look for something more to lead a happy and contended life. Not even the worst of beggars need anything more for happy life. It is only when I tell myself that my happiness is in HAVING something, that I begin to feel sad for not having it. In other words, if I link my happiness to having a thing, or a person close to me, or adulations and admirations, then when I do not get them, I am bound to be drowned in unhappiness. But there is yet another level where we could be always happy, by being content with my BEING, with all that it implies: the good health I enjoy, the still pure air I breathe, my sensitivity to colors, taste, touch, to name a few.

If there is evil in the world, it is because we have not learned to be happy with what we have, what we are; our mind is obsessed with accumulating more and more, without realizing that each of us have enough and more to survive perhaps at least two life-time. If I tell that I shall be happy with what I have, then I shall not need to cheat or rob others; I will not need to tell lies, I shall not need to kill others to take their properties. Nick had understood the significance of this truth, through hard way, and he knows he is talking about of hard facts which stared in front of his eyes. Once we realize that our happiness is not in having more things, but in enjoying our being, then we begin to live.

The human body, mind and spirit have enough potential to destroy the whole world entirely, or recreate it altogether. It is not merely the physical or mental or psychic power I am talking about, but also a spiritual power which can fuel the world to better the life we live. Today when I have a desire to have something more than what I already have, I shall convince my inner self that I will be happy with what I have, and therefore shall not look for anything more. I hope one day I shall get into the habit of foregoing the fabulous things that the world offers, and find delight and happiness in the little things that I have and treasure. Link for YouTube video : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bL3GR4iAW0

Silence of the Spirit (3.c)

The modern world is so frightened of silence, of the outer silence, and all the more the inner silence, of the heart, of the soul! The noise around us some how make us think that we are safe and secure, and nothing untoward could happen to us, but the fact is far from it. We are most often so frightened of the "noise" outside, that we have to subdue it with out iPods, or MP3 players, or the FM radio, attached to our cellular phones. I find the trend contagious, and more and more people are attracted to this menace of running away from 'noise'.

Today as I come to realize the two layers of reality that I have fathomed, and now stand at the threshold of my being, what I become more and more conscious of the endless silence beckoning me to jump into the deep. The silence may be deafening, and it may even be dangerous, because it may make me come face to face with the reality of my being, but that is what I feel will make me authentic, to own up what I am without hiding anything of my past or present. I stand before the silence of my spirit, not knowing what is in store for me and how I am going to face it, but face I will.

Going beyond the layers of the body and the mind, today I wish to sink into the silence of my soul, of my Being; that is where I am sure I will encounter the Lord of my soul, but when I stand before my authentic self, what more would I need. I know for sure, that the other name of my Being is God! When I behold his beauty and splendor, I know I would recognize my own image on him. It is this silence which can give me a foretaste of living an authentic life, in communion with my being. The nagging doubt plagues me often, but will I be ever be able to be in touch with my Being all the days of my life?

As I behold the serenity of the silence of my soul, I realize that everything I have received from the world is rubbish in comparison to the precious jewel of this eternal silence; I would like to savor the sweetness of this silence, even as I sit quietly, firmly grounded on the earth I have been born into, establishing myself on the frameworks of the mind, I know I will get the glimpse of this silence at sometime or the other; if not immediately, at least in the not so distant future. To go beyond name and shape is something that is very challenging and difficult for me, but when I come to experience silence, I cannot hold on to the values of the world. I submit myself to go beyond name and shape in the presence of the limitless silence.

I have been taught many things wrongly from my childhood; even my faith had been misrepresented to me. I had been taught that I can taste of eternity only in the next world, but here I am at the threshold of eternity, a slice of eternity offered to me on a platter. When I enter into the eternal silence, am I not entering into the world of eternity, and that is where God dwells, that is where all the righteous and saintly persons and creatures live; even the music, I presume is, composed of silence! So are the Alleluiah and Sanctus! I know as I enter into this silence, I am entering into an altogether different world, the world where all of us are permanent citizens, for that is where we all belong to!

Play and Pause! (2.b)

Eckhart Tolle is one of my favorite authors, and his seminal work The Power of Now put me in an altogether different mental disposition. I began to look at reality of the mental magic with a different perspective, thanks to Tolle’s inspiring words. Today I am going to put into practice something of what Tolle has recommended in his book, The Power of Now, because that would be the gateway to enter into the third phase of our inward journey, to the Spirit. I have already relaxed my body, and have become conscious of the magic and miracle that the human mind is capable of, but beyond these magic and miracles is another realm of the mindstream, by which I mean an endless flow of “noise” which can obstruct me from reality, and entry into the core of my being.

I would like to become conscious of how my mind works, because most often I take this for granted. I seldom pause for a while to realize what my mind does and how much of control I really have on my mindstream! I sit quietly in my room or any place where I feel comfortable, and close my eyes if that helps me, and remain still for a while. Then I begin to become conscious of what my mind is preoccupied with, without trying to control what it thinks. I will be an external observer, as if I am watching a movie of what is happening on my mindscreen. I would not make any value judgment if what the mind is thinking about is good or bad! I just observe the mind’s movements for about five minutes.

I realize that there is no better non-stop chatter-box on earth than the human mind, my mind. It moves from one thought to another, sometimes coherently, some other times incoherently. Sometimes it projects thoughts which are meaningful, some other times, sheer meaningless, useless thoughts. There are socially acceptable thoughts and other times, socially unacceptable thoughts. But I begin to realize as I witness this great drama, or movie on the mindscreen that most of the time my mind is busy and occupied with things which do not necessarily concern me, and things which I do not wish to be associated with. But do I have a choice? The moment when I try to make a value judgment, then I am only giving more power to the mind.

One thing is clear for me, so long the mind is busy and occupied, I have no access to my spirit, where I can encounter the Lord of my heart. The mind places a opaque film between me and my spirit, my Being, the really Real. Most often I become involved with the mindstream, and react to what goes on inside the mind, and it would be shown in my body response. When my mind imagines pleasant things, then my body is relaxed, but when my mind imagines and projects violent objects or events, then my body is tensed and stiff. Tolle suggests that I distance myself from my mind; I am not my mind. I remain outside of the mind, and just observe what goes on within, and there would be moments when I might experience absence of thoughts, and they are moments of ‘silence’, and they are the moments when this opaque plate is removed and I have access to reality.

I am quite used to star-gazing, and today I am going to do mind-gazing, observing my mind, all that is going on in it, without forcefully trying to enter into silence. As I become conscious of the thoughts from outside, the thoughts subside by themselves, and I may be able to enjoy absence of thoughts for just a few seconds, but if I continue to mindgaze regularly, these moments of ‘silence’ may gradually increase, and in this most precious moments I may become one with reality, divinity, and am not touched or disturbed by either pain or pleasure. It is at this moment that I become truly a child of God, experiencing the godliness that I received at the time of my birth. Once I begin to taste this precious moments of ‘silence’ I would be prepared to give up anything in exchange for it. I am slowly moving close to my being.

Pat on the Back

While discussing with friends about one of my very senior friends (a 75 year old nun, who became very affectionate towards me over the past year), one of the common comments I hear is that she was in need of a pat on her back every now and then. She needed exclusive care from the other nuns, who lived with her; she would be delighted if the Superior of the house were to visit her a couple of times during the day and enquired about her health. She felt sick when the other sisters did not seem to take special note of her! That is the reason why, when I visited her during my monthly visits to the Sisters, she was more than joyous, to get the much needed attention, and she was very different during the few hours I spent with the sisters.

But she is not the only one we can blame for seeking this kind of exclusive attention of the dear ones. As we grow old, we in fact return to our childhood days, and we behave exactly like children do. It is a proven fact that children look forward to the exclusive care and attention of their parents, or relatives or even siblings. When they do not get it, then they do all pranks to get the much needed attention. All of us go through this stage at sometime or other! Sometimes when this psychological need becomes compulsive that we feel life so meaningless and dry without the attention of others, then every hour may turn out to be a hell.

Today while talking to a neighborhood bishop, I heard a similar story about a middle-aged priest, who began to find a hundred and one mistakes to blame the bishop, until he was given an office which is respectable, and now he is more than normal; he does not find fault with the bishop anymore and has even begun to find some good things to appreciate the bishop for. But once these people become addicted to the pat on the back, they may not do anything, until they get the pat! It is an addiction, just like addiction to smoking, or alcohol, or any kind of compulsive behavior. One may do this even without being conscious of it.

Many of us stop growing, when we are halted by such things as this compulsive behavior to get recognition from those who matter in our circles. This happens largely because we have not adequately recognized ourselves, what we are, what we are capable of, what we have achieved through sheer personal charisma. If I look for recognition from outside, that only implies that I had not boosted my self-image and worth, by asserting my strengths. When I feel the need to get recognition from others, I may as well ask, what has stopped me from giving a pat on my back, all by myself?

It maybe time that I begin to look for recognition from outsiders, but start giving a pat by myself. All that you need to do is to put both the hands across the shoulder and gently pat the shoulder. Use any sweet sounding words to accompany this action.Those who are tied down by recognition from others, may stop living, when others begin to show their attention to someone else, or something else. When I recognize myself, I begin to recognize the Inner Self which is dwelling deep within me, and that is my God, that is my true Being, that is Brahman, that is the Spirit! When I recognize myself, I recognize God, and the world then may look so very different in my eyes!

Lively Answers

When friends meet after ages, one question which they ask each other is this: where have you been all these years? Whatever be, there cannot be a satisfactory answer to this question from anyone. All the answers may only sound as nothing more than a matter of fact! Now, let me turn this question to myself. More than a month since I visited the blogger, and a few friends of mine enquired some days ago, what had happened to the blog! Had I forsaken it altogether? I knew that any answer to these volley of questions was not going to really address the question. In fact, I have come to understand the different levels of questions and answers. Not all questions require answer; literature calls them rhetoric questions. I may smartly pass off some of the vital questions as truly rhetoric questions, while frantically trying to run away from addressing real questions.

Questions are generally asked in order to elicit an answer; but there are other kinds of questions, which carry a cart-load of pre-suppositions and pre-judgements. Anyone is wary of these kinds of annoying questions, which may sometimes cross the boundaries of decency and decorum. One of the best and most difficult answers to such questions, I have learned from life is silence. Are there more questions, then the better way to face them is through more and prolonged silence. And there can be no better way to retaliate to the questioner's mean and narrowmindedness than by keeping mum!

But am I going to exercise that way of answering the question, where I had disappeared for more than a month, since I last visited the blogger! Nope! There are answers which are implied in the questions, and even when one does not speak out the answer, the questioner is sure to get the answer by looking at the face, or the body language. But lucky that I am hiding myself behind the screen of this laptop, and those who would toss questions to me are not here to observe my face to get a clue to the answer. But the fact is that feastive moments are not the kind of time that should be spent behind the lifeless screens of the laptop or the desktop. There has been so much of life around me, and it would have been a sad sight were I to sit down in my room to "imagine" what was happening outside.

The feastive season is not yet over, and the air is still mingled with magical fragrance; the tiny flowers of the bokul on the road have spread a carpet, and their fragrance have added to the drunken state of the early winter. The fragrance was lively, and it appeared to me that she was frantically looking for her lost lover in the alleys and bylanes of the city. The early morning wearing a chill weather, forcing the lazy babes sleeping long to pull the sheets over their bodies! There was life outside, and there it is still. How can one leave behind life to go after the lifeless notions!

I wish I was able to take home a handful of the fragrant bokul flowers, and fill my room with its fragrance; but when the fragrance of the bokul flowers mingled with the morning air, was nothing less than bloodymary! I was out all these days searching, finding and treasuring life - life in a thousand forms and shapes, and it was a joyful experience to life spreading her wings and fly in the limitless blue sky, all in a wonderful array! When one is guided by the spirits of life, then one becomes out of control, and everything then becomes a journey in faith! That is where one can find the true self of one's being, whose other name is but God!

Work out for Workaholics

Some of my friends often tell me that they have no time to think about their near and dear ones, no time to say hello to a dear friend, or no time to scribble a few lines to the one who is deprived of the pleasure of email... No time. I am busy! I get annoyed when people say they are too busy, that they cannot spare a few minutes. We have conveniently given such people a honourific title, 'workaholics', and many are happy to be branded so. The logical conclusion of these people is they end up burn outs. They get absorbed so much with what they do, that they forget their true identity; they think they are what they do! This identification is dangerous and in fact if one starts to identify oneself with what one does, that is the starting point of burnt out...

Maybe it is only the human beings who are endowed with that fifth sense (rationality) or the sixth sense (intuition) to dissociate ourselves from what we do. Being and doing are two completely two different states of existence. The workaholics live the existence of "doing" and they hardly ever "be". Can there be a unsurmountable work which will block a person completely from being what he/she truly is? In reality it cannot be; but then where is the problem? It is in the human mind which wishes to project itself as the busiest person in the world, a thing that he/she can be proud of. People may think that the person was really enterprising, and hardworking... faking is so easy for them.

But there is another way of being while doing the job I am involved with... If I begin to enjoy the job I am busy with, then I am truly being to myself; my whole person is involved with the work; it is pleasure for me to be involved in that job, and no more a burden. But take the case of workaholics, they seldom enjoy their jobs, and that is evident from the fact that they may spend more time complaining how difficult their job is, rather than doing something about it. That is what makes me to think that most of the people who say they are busy are basically faking. In order to hide their idleness, they have to pose as if they are busy with some work or other.

Am I then telling that there cannot be situations where a person has so much of work than he/she can digest? Such a situations are always possible. One can either be or do in the way one approaches the work. You may look at the job as something that needs to be done, and you may do it passively without allowing yourself enter into the work, and you count the hours passed, and look at the clock at every five minutes. On the other hand one may like the job so much that he/she has not realised how the time has passed, and there is no grudge on their part. The latter are not workaholics, they are normal, healthy human persons.

There are times when my work takes precedence over people, and I may become so inhuman to the very people who care for me; such are dangerous symptoms of becoming addicts to the job. What happens when their job comes to an end, and where do they turn to? We need to do our work to the best of our ability, but our work cannot come in the way of our being... however important that work be, it is only next to our being. Today I will pause for a few times during my work, and ask myself, am I a passive workaholic, or do I draw immense pleasure in doing the work I am assigned to. Maybe when I begin to enjoy the job, I may begin to see the world with different eyes, different vision... I may see there is beauty in the work too, and such a realization is sure to take me to the beauty that is within me; that maybe the beginning of my encounter with the Antaryamin, the Lord of my heart!