Sweet Silence!

It is only the youngsters who know how hard it is to keep quiet; almost all the students in a school at some time or other get whacked for making noise, or talking to someone else. This has been accepted as one of the symptoms of growth process, and we do not make much noise about it either. But this symptom continues well beyond their adolescence, and runs sometimes even upto their old age. The noise which keeps them busy in their adolescence slowly transforms itself into an inner noise.Most of us reach our graves making huge noise, and very seldom may we recognize that we are a noisy lot.

We love noise, and that is the reason why noise pollution is not a problem for us; it appears that it is the problem only of the neighbors and civic bodies and not we who live in the midst of high decibels. There are people who cannot sleep unless there is some loud noise. I had the good fortune of living in a room just adjuscent to one of the main streets of the city, and every day early in the morning I can hear the rattling noise of the trams and then the vehicles, but after a few months of stay there in that room, I had so got used to the noise that it would not disturb my peaceful sleep. We all of us get used to the noises and that becomes our way of life.

One of the greatest tragedies of human existence is that most of us do not even know that we live in the midst of noise, and we do not taste the beauty and wonder of silence. We think that there is nothing beyond noise, and that it was the end of all. We are born into a noisy world and we are given grand farewell with so much of noise. All that we know is the silence of the graves, but not that of the deep oceans. I am told that there is absolute stillness at the deep waters of the ocean. Maybe we will never feel what it means to be in stillness, and that is why we so much love noise and feel we cannot part with it. The very moment when we are separated from noise, we feel certain amount of emptyness creeping in, and we are afraid of facing the vacuum.

I understand it is a terrible experience to face stillness and silence. I would be too frightened to be left in a room, all by myself, with silence all around. I may be more comfortable with even eerie noise, but not silence, which may be more frightening and threatening. But if only I begin to enjoy silence and the stillness of silence, then it may open up several sweet vistas for me. But to take a bold step to drown myself in stillness, calls for great guts and courage, and unfortunately not many of us have that much guts. If ever we had that courage to face silence, we might be madly in love with silence, which can give a foretaste of the blissful sweetness of stillness.

I know that if I have to take a close look at silence and taste of the stillness of the heart, I have to cross two layers of noise: one, the bodily noise, the physical one, and two, the mental noise, one which is created and maintained by the mind. If I can cross these two boundaries, then I might have access to true silence. One of the greatest consolations is that I am never alone in life's journey; there are people wherever I go, and there are very few chances for me to really fall out of track. I am still looking for the way to reach stillness of the heart, where alone I can drink the sweet nector of the soul.

Noisy Silent Zone

Perhaps the place which is notorious for being the most noisy place on earth is very close to each one of us, and we may not even be aware that we are so easily getting used to this horrendous noise. The noise of course does not hurt us, because we have got used to it, and have even begun to like it. It is the noise of the inner self. Very seldom does this “chatter box” pause during our existence. The only exceptions are the following : children who have not reached the stage of self-realization, people who have no control over what they think and do, the so-called crazy people, the senior citizens who return to their second childhood and forget to listen to the noise.

During the life time, it is impossible for us to really escape from it; even if we do not want it to haunt us, it would still be there around. The noise of the mind is perhaps the most dangerous noise which can hurt not only our bodies, but also our spirits. It can dampen and discourage our spirits, and ultimately we may be turned into mere machines. Very few people on earth really care to take note of this noise, which is fully active even when we are asleep. The greatest of people are those who are able to control these noises, and through them and with them are able to enter into the inner silence of the heart, and that may be the moment of enlightenment.

All of us are easily lost in the noise, and the noises often take advantage of our situation and make us weak and vulnerable. The mind knows our Achilles’ heal, and it strikes just there, and in order to escape from its attack, one needs to go through a sadhana, studying the noisy zone, how it cripples the human spirit, what its real function is, and how one can flee from the crippling effects of the noisy silent zone. Far beyond this noisy zone is the still waters of silence, and anyone who drinks of this waters can hear the sweet melody of the stream, the passing of a gust of wind, and be lost in its wondrous medley of choruses.

Many spiritual gurus and enlightened masters have given us simple ways how we could peer through the noisy zone, and get a peek at the silence zone. Anyone who has tasted even a moment of silence, far beyond the noisy rattles of the mind, would venture to do anything in order to enter into a full communion with silence. We live in a world, where living with noise is considered a perfect way of life. Party floors blast noise, which is often dubbed as music, the person who can make the noisiest sound is considered a master craftsman. Has the world ever produced any master who has tried to make music out of silence?

Now let me come to the point… In the previous blog I had complained that I am not able to listen to others, not only to their words, but also to their pain and suffering, agony and anguish because my ears are stuffed with noises of all sorts, and I can hardly hear them, leave alone listen to them with attention. I wish to listen to them with all my heart, and that would be possible only when I am able to listen to the silent music of my heart; I might like to dance to the music, and invite the whole world to dance with me in the cosmic dance of the gods and goddesses. Then even the whimper of my brother or sister would arouse my feelings and sentiments. I would be so attuned to every movement of the hearts of others, that I would be able to enter into their hearts easily.

First Among Equals

At first I thought she was just kidding, but it took me quite a while to realize that she really meant it. She was quite upset because she was not the first one I attended to, and she was very sad because someone else had taken that first place. While I took the issue casually, because that was not a matter of life and death, she could not digest it easily, until she had a knock from another angle, forcing her to put this issue in abeyance for a while. I relationships we all desire to be the first one to be attended to, and we feel so proud when people give us priority over others; we consider it a matter of pride and prestige, and when this does not happen with the people who matter much to us, we feel terribly bad.

Humanly speaking it is quite impossible to be impartial in relationships; we tend to attend to different people based on the unsaid and unwritten priority list, though there is nothing sacrosanct about this list. We keep changing the order, depending on our wishes, demands, fulfillments and desires. If the British have the notion of ‘first among equals’ (primus inter pares) to refer to the very special place that the Prime Minister holds in a parliamentary democracy, the same may also hold true in the case of relationships. Even with the parents and other family members, her desire to supersede all of them is what pains and bothers me. It is not that I had given her the secondary place, but she has assumed it for herself, and there is very little I can do about it.

It is possible for me to assert her unique place in my life, but until she is convinced of this, all my efforts may go in vain. Children when they are small exhibit such a kind of behavior. I remember sometimes we used to fight among ourselves as to whom our dearest friend would wish first or shake hands first. That used to be a matter of prestige for us, and we would always wish that we be the first one to receive such an honor. This is based on the external behavior from the part of the other side, but such a thing can also be asserted from deep within. If I consciously acknowledge that I am the first one among equals, even if here are no concrete evidence to prove it, that would bring me peace and harmony deep within.

Unfortunately we live in a world which looks for concrete evidence to prove our feelings and sentiments. People cannot trust what we feel and think, but they want us to see everything translated into action, and unfortunately many of the feelings and sentiments cannot be translated into concrete action, and we may even make mistakes in the act of translation, but then can they be construed as lack of commitment towards the other? I find it hard to believe that everything has to be properly translated into action, just because it is not always possible. I would love to believe, not merely concrete action showing my love and affection, but more the feelings and sentiments the other person has for me.

On the one hand, it is possible that sometimes I fail to convey to the very persons I love and care, how much they mean to me, and the unique place they hold in my life; on the other side of the spectrum, it is also possible that I give wrong signals to others on the so-called “secondary” place I give to them. I believe it all depends on the proper sync of the hearts; if the hearts are in perfect balance and synchronization, there is bound to be better vibration and understanding. Disturbance from either of the party is sure to create psychological noise, which may make the noise prominent and project it so. While I feel the need to bring my heart to proper sync, I also hope to make efforts to check on my concrete actions, to strengthen the unique place each one has in my heart.