Why me, Lord?

One of my favorite songs of the yesteryears, was Why me, Lord! I remember listening to this song some 25 years ago, and the lyrics of the song still stir my heart. This song presents the popular sentiments of all people of all times, namely why should people suffer for no fault of their own. Yesterday as I was talking to a senior Sister, who had a fall and had to be transferred to another place, partially terminating her new assignment just half way through. I had been nursing positive hopes about what I could do, and all of a sudden my fall had changed all my hopes. What have I done to deserve this punishment, she asked me. I did not find adequate words to console her, and I remember three years ago, when I received the sudden heart attack of my brother in law and the immediate death, I did not know how to console my sister.

On many occasions we look up to God and raise the same question – why me? Of all the people on the face of the earth, why should I be subjected to such a harsh punishment? Could the Lord not have averted this thing happening to me? The Shack tried to delve deep into the mystery of this question, as did Job in the Old Testament. I know one thing for sure, this is a question that no human mind can adequately answer, and that is why human suffering and death are the riddles which cannot be conceived by the human mind. These are the realities that seal us with the imprint of humanness, and yet we yearn for an answer; we all want to know why bad things happen to good people. Human mind which has unraveled so many mysteries of the universe is unable to find an answer to this simple question, and it continues to baffle generations.

We are used to thinking only about ourselves, our own worries and troubles, and cannot think of anything beyond them. We think that only we carry insurmountable burden, while all others are enjoying their lives. This is because we do not easily disclose to others the mental pain and agony that we go through in life; we keep them locked up within our closets, or like to push them under the carpet. We all like to suffer silently, and that is the reason why each one thinks he or she is the only sufferer in the whole world; if only look carefully how each one is laden with heavy burdens, then we might think that ours is a much easier load than others. In fact every other person on earth is carrying much more burden than we do, and this could be a matter of consolation that we have been spared from such an insurmountable load.

It is impossible for us to imagine the greater plan that God may have for us, within which these painful moments, agonizing turn of events and unexpected change of our life expectations fall. Who can discern God’s way; it would be impossible for us to decipher the reason why things happen to us the way they do; if only we are able to find answer to all our questions, then the world would be quite different, and this time not necessarily for better. Thank God we are not able to understand why certain things happen to us; in most cases, we might thank God for making certain painful moments come our way, because these moments might have done more good to us than pain. However we could say this only on hind sight and it is impossible for us to recognize what the Lord has in store for us, when they do take place.

I cannot think of anyone who is spared of bad things in life; even the most virtuous and pious of men and women also had their own share of pain and suffering, sometimes these had more than their due share. This is because they had the mental stamina and spiritual vitality to bear all pain and suffering. In many cases, these men and women were subjected to more painful mental agony and torture, which tried to drain them out of the spiritual energy they had been relying on. All of us have our share of pain and suffering, and once we begin to see that it is only through the path of these painful moments that we could really enter into a state of sheer bliss. There is no shortcut to happiness and unending joy; we need to go through the path of pain and suffering in order to enjoy and relish what is in store for us. The wait might be worth it all.

Power to Be

I am fascinated by the amount of positive energy that flows in the world around me, and it takes some effort for me to realise that the source of such energy is the same : the universe that pours out this unending stream of life-energy into the heart of human beings. The English poet Gerarld Manly Hopkins seems to have wondered looking at the creation around him with such excitment that lyrics flowed from his heart: The world is charged with the grandeur of God, and I may take liberty to re-paraphrase this line as : the universe is charged with the grandeur of positive energy. Note that special adjective I use before energy, positive; because we in this world are flooded with different sorts of energy, and only about one third of the energy could be called positive, and the rest, all negative, destructive.

Sometimes I am not merely fascinated, but obsessed with the concept of this positive energy that is present all around us... it is like air, the crisscrossing of invisible electronic waves, the radio waves, and the satellite television channels will talk in terms of the "spectrum", which refers to the space for them to be present in the cyber world and project their waves... The world is full of the energy, and each one of us contribute towards this energy, either positively or negatively; but one thing we cannot refuse to : stand away from affecting the energy spectrum. If we are not affecting the energy spectrum of the universe positively, we are affecting it negatively. Each one of us affects the universe in one way or another.

But how can I affect the universe when I have very little or no contact with it at all? We are part of the vast universe, and we all of us have our own little roles to play in the pageant of the universe... comical or tragical. We are called in often to swim in the ever-flowing stream of the energy in the world, and as I affect the stream, I am also affected by it. The effect is felt on both the ends. But today I would like to turn my attention not so much to myself, one of the origins of the energy, but to the universe. Each one of us contribute to the energy level of the world, but we do not honestly know in what way I affect the universe, positively or negatively. But it is not all too difficult to make out how I affect the energy spectrum of the universe.

We all of us attract from the universe the very same thing that we have contributed to the world around me; while the universe sucks out of me the kind of energy that I am full of, similarly it fills me with the same kind of energy that I fill her, at times even from the sources other than my own. Doesn't it sound quite strange? In other words I attract to myself all that I require to be myself. It is the universe that makes me what I truly am. The greatest and most difficult task for me in the world is to BE. To be faithful to what I am called to BE in the universe. When I am all too bored with life, then I take recourse to activities that put me in perpetual noise, unwanted, undesirable elements of irritation and distraction. The greatest challenge for me today is to BE.

When I try to be faithful to my true inner self, I attract such positive energy from the universe that I will have all the power and energy to burn the whole world to ashes; I will have the energy to feel all the people of the universe; I will have all the waters to quench the thirst of the entire humanity. Today I pause for a while in the midst of my busy schedule and ask myself, do I recognise the positive energy that is flowing in and through me? I close my eyes for two minutes or three and allow myself to be; to run with the current, allowing myself to be touched, shaped by the powerful current. Let me put aside all the distractions which will keep the thin voice of the energy spectrum silent, and surrender myself to the powerful energy quotient, which is the life-giving force for the universe. Because every person who IS, is the one who can redeem the world through his/her grit. There is no greater achievement in life than being myself.