Life, the web of relations

There is no other creature on earth which experiences the bond of being related as much as the human beings. We are linked to everything we see in the world; there is a bond of fellowship and fraternity with everything living and dead. Scientists would go all the way to prove that every atom on earth is linked to everything around it; it might be easy for scientists to prove it because the fundamental principle linking everything is the same. It is the same atoms which form myself, which is also found in the most hardcore criminal on earth; the microorganism which I am made of is the same as the one my pet dog is made of. In that case what distinguishes me from my dog is something that could be questioned scientifically, because there are dogs which are cleverer than the human persons(!), and we may come across more intelligent animals in the years to come and that may be the end of the human race.

But if every organism on earth is linked with a web of relations, why is it we behave so queerly often, and even tend to disregard this bond of fellowship. There is a natural tendency to depend on the elders during our childhood days, but as we grow big, we begin to stand on our own feet, as it were, and do not want the elders taking care of us. We would like to show everyone around us that we are mature enough, and can take care of ourselves. That may be one place where we are given too much of independence and freedom that we fail to allow our elders take care of us during our most formative years. There is also an urge within us to be independent so that we need not listen to the dictates of the elders, especially those who boss over us. Every web of relation severed is lost forever and they may never come back to us; this is a harsh reality we seldom understand, and when we might understand it might be too late.

I had chosen the image of a web (more precisely of a spider), because it illustrates beautifully what our lives are like. The bridges between us, the human beings and other organisms is so fragile and weak that they may snap at any time, and when a link is lost that part of the web is unreachable. Every time we disregard relationships and tend to strengthen and fortify our own portals, we are only inviting trouble; it might not be too late for us to realize that our fort may collapse one fine morning because we had not taken to strengthen the edifice. The pillars alone cannot guarantee safety for the building, the edifice has to embrace the pillars to provide the much needed strength and support for the building. We need to build each of the links with the world around, very much like the spider painstakingly builds each one of the segments of the web. And it is only too happy when it completes the web, and joyfully hops from one segment to another, until some external force compels the web to break.

To build a web of relations is not a laborious task for a spider, it is a joyful event; I have noticed that it might take just a night for a spider to weave a decent looking web. When the web needs to be built, it leaves aside everything else, and labors on it, and when the day breaks one can notice that the web is ready, and the golden beams of the sun pass through the web, strengthening the bonds. Just look at the accompanying picture of the web with tiny drops of snow capping the bridges; we can notice that the segments are not strong all through; in some places they are frail and weak, and in some other places they are strong. Indeed that is how our relationships with others take shape. Over the years our relationships may become weak and it may sever someday, when we least expect, if we are not careful.

It is not impossible for one spider to link her web with another web and thus enlarge the circle of relationship; and when the webs grow wider and wider, then we have greater space for relating with others, and we may also enjoy a wider area to build relationships. One cannot assess the quality of relationship with others on the basis of the number of friends and associates one has, but on the basis of the depth of relationship that they enjoy. Even a couple of friends who would stand by my side, especially when I am downcast and find life unbearable, would be far more precious than having a whole lot of friends who may even have the courtesy to call on me to check if I am OK! Today as we look at this beautiful web of spiders, let us weave our own web of relations, so that we shall have greater freedom and accessibility towards everyone we like and love!

Liberative Leanings

‘No one can live as an island’ has become almost like a cliché, but what this meant remains a lesson for all generations; everyone on earth is in need of others to make the best out of life. It would be quite frightening to think of a world without anyone else around, no other human person to relate to, no plants and animals to eat. Even the worst of anthropophobic cannot wish to live all by him/herself, because life will be devoid of all color and dynamism if there is no one around to relate to. If ever there is any person who is averse to relating to others, and wishing to be by himself/herself, then such a person is fit only for solitary confinement in a dark cell.

There is a need for each of the human person to lean on another; of course here I am referring to sociological and psychological leaning. Every other person in the society I live in can rightly complement what I lack, and add brighter colors to life. This happens in a wonderful way in families; by nature husband and wife complement each other, and if there is fear of separation among couples, then one can be sure that this complementarity is threatened. Life gives a two-way enrichment : to lean on another person for the fulfillment of one’s social, cultural, religious and psychological needs; to bear another and provide the much needed nourishment in all the areas I myself receive.

Refusing to lean on another, and refusing to bear another can become social evils which can make our life quite miserable. Pride can stop me from leaning on another person, especially if the other person is in anyway constrained or limited, and I may overlook the need to “depend” on the other. On the other side of the spectrum maybe a person who does not wish to make space for another to take shelter under his/her wings! Why should I? It is none of my business to provide space for the other – maybe the comments that we may hear from this kind of person! In either case ultimately it is this person who is going to suffer, and not the other!

What a blessing people can turn out to one another, if there is the freedom to lean on the other, and the generosity to bear the other! At the heart of this mutual enrichment is the psycho-spiritual disposition which calls for humility, to recognize the need for me to lean on another, that I am not complete by myself, but require another or other persons to make me full. So long this disposition is not achieved, life would continue to become a hell, where others may be looked on as threats, or trespassers, or people who are there to curtail my freedom. Such people are sure to suffer from insomnia and perpetual stomach ache and head ache.

Every day when I wake up from bed, I need to pause for a minute to recall to mind the different persons who complete my web of relationships. I cannot make a web with a single strand, but every person who extend an arm of cooperation is sure to make this web possible. Let me bring to my mind every person on whom I could freely and cozily lean on, hoping that they would shield me with their strong arms; let me also remember all the persons whom I bear in my heart with the warmth that I have received from others; as I remember and recall these faces and names, let the vibrations of peace and joy spread all around. Let me see all the arms locked with fraternal chains, and what better world can we ever think of then?