Daring to Dream

It is fun to talk to youngsters about 'dreams', and as I asked them if they dream, there were giggles and smiles. After all, who on earth does not dream? Every one has dreams, big or small, good or bad, and so my question might have been quite unwanted. But I had a point in asking them whether they dream, and what sort of dreams they have! I made it clear that the dreams that small children have about what they would receive from their parents and relatives is quite different from adolescents and adults would have, and that is the kind of dreams I was keen on delving deep into.

Needless to say, our dreams are shaped and moulded by the society we live in, the kind of people we associate with, and the kind of role-models we have around. One thing however is quite interesting to note: the children from the poor backgrounds often have bigger and more ambitious dreams, and it is not surprising that many of them do achieve a greater part of their dreams, by sheer will power and determination. Those who are well-to-do and rich, do not bother to dream big, and therefore they have stunted growth, and remain where their parents had left them.

I was surprised to hear one of the little girls tell me that she wanted to be an air-hostess! Where did she come across an air-hostess, who might have inspired her to become one? This ten-to-twelve year old girl had a dream which is out of the ordinary mould that girls of this hostel would generally dare to dream; it may be possible that this girl does not know what it is to become an air-hostess, but since her eyes are clearly fixed on this dream, I would not be surprised if she becomes one after some years.

I had made it clear that most often our dreams are self-centered; we become the center of our dreams, and may not include others, our family, friends and neighbors in the dreams. If the dreams are too narrow and self-centered, then the challenges and struggles we may have to face are far greater than the dreams which include our closest circle of dear ones, parents, siblings, friends and neighbors. When we share in the collective dream of a community, we are sure to receive the approval and support of the community, which are more important for the realization of the dreams.

There is one way how we can nourish and nurture our dreams: by helping others realize their own dreams, big or small, as the case may be. We all need the support of the other people in society to translate our dreams into a reality. No dream can be realized in a vaccuum; we require a concrete human society to realize it. A dream come true also imply the acceptance of the community, and we cannot take all the credit for finally arriving at the winning point, because every dream opens up multiple possibilities to go ahead in life to slowly enter into a world where there may not be much difference between dream and reality!

Friend in Need

Science and technology have developed all sorts of sophisticated machinery to make our lives cozy and comfortable; we were able to even intrude into the complicated biodiversity, and change the very nature of plants and animals. The more we make our lives comfortable and cozy, the more lonely does humanity feels. In the ratrace to acquire more money and wealth, the rich have forgotten to rest, and the middleclass do not want to give chance to fate; and the poor keep pushing themselves beyond their capacity in an effort to come to terms with what life has in store for them. But ultimately the plight of the poor is far more manageable than that of the wealthy.

What the modern world cannot create is friends, the proverbial people who can change our lives drastically. To have found a faithful friend is equivalent to have found a priceless treasure, and it is not easy to find one with whom our hearts would jel. Unfortunately there are no set rules and criteria to find if the so-called friend is truly a friend or just a selfish, self-centered opportunist. There is no better criteria to test and examine a friend than life itself, and it would be sad if there are people in the world who do not find time to discover a friend for themselves. The world will never lack true friends, just as it would never lack the sun, moon and stars to keep us going.

I have realized that in human relationships, and especially in a lasting friendship, we want our friends to dance according to our tunes; we become defensive as soon as something critical is voiced. We know the popular adadge, a friend is the one who knows our weaknesses and yet accepts us as we are! The role of true friendship does not stop with reflecting my true image, but also goes to reflect my other half, the undisclosed part. We can find life becoming more enjoyable, when we permit our friends to play the role of devil's advocate!

I have learned so much in life about being friends that for the sake of a true friend, I would be prepared to give up all that I possess! But there are more misconceptions about friends and friendship than there are in actuality. If there is someone who claims to have more than a hundred friends, I would not swollow his/her words too easily. They cannot be friends, but mere acquintances; all those I am in touch with and relate to cannot become my friends. Here is one simple way to test who my true friend is/are: when I am in a crisis situation, the first person/s I think of in order to seek asylum or counsel or help, s/he or they are my true friends.

I like the expression, that the true friend is the one in front of whom I would not hesitate whatsoever to strip myself naked, and present myself as I truly am. Of course this means I cannot have the audacity or the guts to strip myself naked before everyone I am relating to; if I do that, then I am not a friend, but merely an exhibitionist. When husband and wife become friends, the friendship that exist between them is raised to a higher level, and the love that exist between them reaches yet another landmark location in life. Today is a day to toast for all our friends, all who have come our way since birth, and for all those who are waiting to enter into our lives!

Mutual Giving

I have great regards and admiration for the people who want to make the most of the years at their disposal. Quality living is a big question mark, when the world battles with all odds to gain a few more years added to our life span. But we need to ask ourselves, is adding a few more years with the help of artificial means going to help us realize the worth of this life? Are we not in many ways the replica of Christopher Marlowe's Doctor Faustus, who floundered his whole life in acquiring all known knowledge, and was on his knees before Satan, pleading for a few more years, months, weeks, days, hours or minutes. If Doctor Faustus failed to receive reprieve, so it may happen in our case too.

To make hay while the sun shines, is not merely a proverb that has no relevance to our times. A few days ago, a friend of mine brought this point to my attention when she said, we can't afford to be bogged down by trivialities, but will have to look beyond the horizon, to make the best of our situations and times. Our life span is carved into our hearts, and there is no physical mechanism to stop aging. It is said that only in the case of film stars, age does not catch up with them (or at least that is what they think!). A journalist has asked an actress, you said you were nineteen two years ago, and say the same even after two years! She smiles, I am not the kind of person who changes her words!

Fortunately most of us are quite aware of our own limitations, and do not expect to achieve the impossible, and our expectations from life are quite reasonable. On an average, we are capable of giving only about half of our life span for quality work - real contribution to the world. Is it possible for us to carve a niche for ourselves in the annals of world history? Or is it really necessary for each one of us to leave behind a legacy that the world will care to safeguard? Legacies are formed on the basis of what we want to give to the world, rather than robbing from the world's treasuries things that will benefit only me and my concerns.

Often I am reminded of what is often quoted, even out of context, from one of the sayings of Abraham Lincoln, Ask not what the nation has done for you, but ask what you have done for the nation. The same quote could be rephrased as, ask not what the world/life has offered to you, but ask what you have offered to the world. In fact, the world heritage that we cherish today is the fruit of the labor of several thousands of men and women, who had given freely what they had so that the future generations may have happiness in full. But the beauty of life is that if returns to the giver manifold of what is given, and one is filled beyond all limits. We are called to this mutual sharing of what we are and what we have.

Today I would like to pause for a while and consider what I have given to the world from the moment I was up from bed. Let me enlist all that I have done which could benefit the world; it may be a hug to my spouse, a kiss to my child, a smile to my neighbor, a kind gesture to the aging parents, a kind word to an ailing relative, a sympathetic look at the beggar on the road. In other words, there are much more important things in life, which I can offer to the world than my money and riches. Perhaps it is easy for me to throw a few coins to a beggar, and may cost me a lot to stand and look at him sympathetically, even when I have nothing to offer. If I begin to give without counting the cost, then I will know that I am going to receive in turn manifold riches, that can fill the whole world!