Two sides of the coin

The arrogance to think that there is only one way of looking at reality, is nothing new to humanity; while nature teaches us that is not the whole of reality, when we enter into our formal school system, we are taught otherwise, and sadly the precious lessons we have learned from nature is throttled, even before it matures and bears fruits. When a child stumbles and falls, it gets bruises, and the grandmother may grab a shrub, rub the leaves, and apply it on the bruise, and lo, the gushing of blood stops. Nature remedy. But it is not the prerogative of just one shrub to do that magical healing; there are many, and you get what is close to your hand! Nature always provides us with multiple choices, and all of them good and equally valid.

Sticking to the gun is a favorite hobby of most of us, and we draw a lot of pleasure in it. When I called up my friend the other day, she was in tears, because her mother had been quite sick, and my friend was worried about her. But my mind was worried about something else. My friend had not asked me how I was, a formal question, which sometimes gain too much importance! And my world was crumbling there and then, though I would not dare tell her. But my heart was heavy, for no reason. Why did she not ask me how I was?

Surely it has taken my friend sometime to understand that she was helpless about the situation of her mother, who by then was improving, and was beginning to be cheerful, and that was the time, out of the blue, I throw the bomb-shell: I was upset yesterday, because you did not even bother to ask me how I was! She was not prepared for my statement, and she could not really understand what I really meant! I even told her that her worry for her mother was unreasonable, while all the time I knew that what I was expecting of her was all the more unreasonable.

She did not mean to hurt me (but was I really hurt, because she did not ask me how I was?), but was not in a position to turn her attention to me; and I did not mean to be blind and deaf to her worry for the mother, but was somehow pushed to feel a certain sense of 'jealousy' for the attention my friend was giving to her mother. My mind was not ready to admit : I want you to give more attention to me than your mother! She could not think I would take things this way, and was spending painful moments, just because I had expected something more than I can rightfully demand of her.

But that is what life is – a web of events and incidents, expectations and demands, which may drive us from one mood to another. If only I had been a little more on guard, much of the mental tension I had created for me and for her could have been avoided. To empathise with another person is not only a noble task, but a sacred one too, where I don the robes of the Almighty, who is good to all, ready to dirty his hand, in order to raise the fallen, and be happy to be of help to the needy. Empathy makes us all divine, if only we dare to dirty our hands!