Transposing Transparency

I got a shock of my life, when she told me that I was not transparent enough to her, that I was not sharing with her about my 'friends'. After months, I got this severe jolt, and I was not prepared for it. My friend had a doubt, and she wanted me to clarify it, and I found myself in a helpless situation how to explain to her, or prove to her that I am quite open and transparent to her and that I had nothing more than what I had been telling her all these days and months. But still she felt that I was hiding something from her. There are certain things in life, which cannot be expressed in words, and today I felt strongly that I ran short of words!

Human life is a web of relations, one linked to another. Sometimes the web is shattered by reasons beyond one's control, and certain contacts fall instantly, and some others get strengthened. The ones with very little significance cannot bear the jerk, and fall off even before the jolt; the ones which have stuck to the heart are prepared to bear any amount of jolt and may only feel that their grip has been strengthened. We live in a world where we cannot live with exclusive relationships; even in marital relationships, there is scope to have friends, well-wishers, relatives, and that is the web of friends and neighbors who would come to one's aid, when s/he is in trouble.

When I tell someone that I do not believe in exclusive relationships, she often misunderstands me, and I had enough of trouble because of this conviction of mine. There are very few people who really see my point : I was touched by this wise saying of Tony De Mello: my happiness does not depend on anyone else other than myself. I decide if I want to be happy or not; no one will have the right over me, concerning my happiness. In an exclusive relationship, I expect that my happiness would depend on my partner, and vice versa. If something were to happen to my partner, then my happiness is doomed. Should I allow this kind of predicament to me?

All human relations are woven on the basis of mutual trust; when doubt surfaces in the mind of any one of the partners, then the relationship is bound to break into pieces. It is not that doubts do not rise in the mind of partners, but they will have to be clarified, and sorted out as soon as possible, or else the doubts will eat up the relationship, and too soon it will be in tatters. But what I can I really do when such a doubt rises in the mind of my partner/friend; what can I do to dispel doubt from the mind of my friend, and resume the former relationship we had been cherishing for years?

I am not feigning ignorance in this matter, but do feel helpless sincerely. If human relations should depend on proofs and witnesses, then there are less chances that any lasting relationship could ever be possible. I do understand, if I had not given any scope to my friend to doubt my trust, she would not have done so, and therefore I am partly responsible for making things this way, and will have to crack my mind to find an amicable solution to this problem. I know for sure that time is a great healer, and if I do give enough time for these things to settle down, probably I may find that the doubt has evaporated in the meantime!