Glimpse of Eden

Who would not like a serene and secure atmosphere of Dhyan Ashram, with plenty of trees, gardens, and water bodies! It is like taking a glimpse of what the Garden of Eden could have been, before the serpent tricked the first parents. The air is cool and the atmosphere is pleasant. There is a silence, which the trees and plants, frantically try to preserve and pass on to everyone who drops in here. It is rightly a place of Dhyan, of meditation, and though our purpose in coming here today is nothing to do with meditation, but we see several men and women who are steeped in meditation.

To forget the self and to be immersed in the thought of the creator or his/her (could we not think of the creator as a feminine force!) creation, or to enter into the inner recesses of oneself and listen to the murmurs of the life-spirit, or to the whispers of the soul! We are too frightened of taking time off, to enter into the self; the most enjoyable trip that is ever possible is to dive into the inner self, because that is where miracles await us, where flowers wait for us to bloom, where birds await us to start their singing. But the world has kept us tied to itself that we find impossible to break free.

I see the men and women of all ages lost in their worlds of prayer and meditation; it is impossible for me to fathom their minds and hearts, but looking at their faces, one thing is sure that their minds are not preoccupied with the material world that we are so busy with; they are probably thinking of a reality which is far removed from the worldly reality we live at each moment of our lives. But to take time out and be by ourselves is what can give us the psychic energy and stamina to go ahead with life, in spite of all the odds which attempt to make our lives miserable.

It is impossible to enter into our inner selves, from within our familiar surroundings; we are interrupted and disturbed at every now and then, that we cannot concentrate on our journey inwards. There are telephones, mobile phones, television, children, friends drop in just to say hello, the familiar songs being played at the neighborhood… these all can become distractions when we make a sincere effort to dive deep into our selves. But a quiet and serene atmosphere such as this can become helpful to plunge into ourselves boldly and courageously.

Besides helping us to dive into the deeper recesses of our own selves, nature has the ability to soothe our wounded selves, and balm our pains and worries. There is no greater companion to us than nature, with all their colors and charm, scent and radiance. If only we know how to appreciate and communicate with nature, then we may spend hours and hours in her company. It does not require great artistic sense to appreciate nature in all her glory, just a sense of wonder can take us a long way in being true companions to nature all around us. But here we are in a privileged place to behold one of the best forms of nature, and I spend a few moments to silently commune with her!

How to name it?

Often I hear a complaint that I don’t know how to talk, but very seldom does anyone tell me how I should talk; I have taken for granted that I know how to respond to people, especially when their temper runs high, or when their spirits are low, or when they find it hard to contain themselves, but of late I have heard the complaint that I really don’t know how to talk. Unfortunately often in life we depend on words to express our innermost feelings and sentiments, and this is all the more true if we are to use external media to convey our feelings. Often when talking over telephone, I become so insensitive to the feelings of others that I leave them more pained and hurt than before.

It is possible I have learned the art of meaningful responding, or that I have learnt it all wrong, and it may be hard for me to learn everything from the scratch. I don’t know if this old horse can learn new tricks, but I am ready to give it a try. The problem now is, who will bell the cat. My friends all these years have taken for granted not to hurt me by telling me how I should respond to people when they are in pain, and how my words at those moments were hurting them. It is not that I am entirely blind to the pain my friends go through, but I find helpless to find a way of consoling them. Anything I tell them sound as if I am indifferent to their pain.

When I am hurt by the words of my friends, I do not hesitate to tell them to think twice before they tell something to me, and I may have to take the same advice for myself and put it into practice. At a couple of times, I have tried to practice it, and realized that if I think seriously before speaking, I do not get proper words, and recently one of my friends suggested that if I do not get proper words, it would be better to keep mum, instead of saying something which may only add fuel to the fire. I realize that one of the most dangerous words that I have been using rather casually, not only with my friends, but with all, is “OK”; the irony of my usage is that I use the word OK, even when things are not OK.

Sadly it had taken several years for me to come to this realization, that a so-called innocent word can infuse so much of pain and suffering in others. The expression in itself is harmless and innocuous, but when I began to use it out of context, it had become a dangerous one. It would take me quite a while to find a less dangerous expression to replace OK. If I were to watch carefully how others respond to my pouring out, my sharing and exchange, I would find more meaningful and helpful words and expressions. This brings me to yet another broader area of my interaction with people around. Do I listen sufficiently to others? Especially if they are pouring out their pain and agony to me?

There is yet another important area I need to spend time on; I am so preoccupied with my own feelings and sentiments that I do not pay attention to what others wish to convey to me, or what they want me to take note of. Due to this lack of listening to others, I fail to respond to them positively; though I hear their words, they do not enter into my inner self, and remains only at the level of my head. If only I begin to listen with my heart, then probably I would be in a better position to respond to them meaningfully, without uttering the meaningless OK for each and every sentence of theirs and thus annoy them more and more. But there is something I have to do, in order to listen meaningfully to what others communicate to me.

Lessons from Crows

Just outside the window of my room is a tall tree (how sad that I had not known the tree by its name!), and crow couple has been struggling to build a nest for the past two years. And what is beautiful in this couple is that one of them is physically challenged! I don’t know if it is a male or a female, but I assume it is a male, because he had been hunting for food and was feeding his partner often. Crows are not good nest builders, and yet the two had been making all efforts to bring in twigs, wires, grass, and even strings to put up a nest. After spending a few months on a nest, the couple suddenly gave up the nest, and one fine morning I saw them dismantling it! I really don’t know if the couple had a fight over the location of the nest, but it did not seem so.

Just about a month ago, I noticed the female crow recceeing for a different location for the nest, very close to the place they had built their former nest; maybe about a foot distance from the former, and on the same tree. The female crow checked the suitability of the location, and after two days I saw both of them collecting twigs and plastic wires from all possible places. And this time the nest was ready within a week, and the female crow began to sit on it, probably even laying eggs. She sat the whole day, and when it railed one evening, I could see the crow still sitting there quietly. I wondered why she was not moving to another place where she would not get wet! Probably there were eggs, and she wanted to protect them from the rain.

It was study time for me, while looking at the way this couple related to each other, how they moved from one nest to another without grumbling or accusing each other. When I see the so-called physically challenged people begging in the trains and at market squares, I realize that these are the people who are lazy to the core, and instead of following the good example of the male crow, they shamelessly seek to make a living out of begging; and to make things worse, there are many who are moved by the plight of the physically challenged (a good per cent of these men and women only feign to be physically challenged, while in fact they are not!), and dole out money every time they see someone asking for money.

While the animals and plants can live through handicap, even physical, why is it that only the human beings make too much fuss about the handicap? If a crow without a toe can live a normal life, and without ever complaining about it, why is it that men and women make such a hue and cry about their minor handicaps? I found it so moving, when the male crow brought food for his partner every day morning and fed her; it was a wonderful sight. I know among people, misunderstanding is the greatest enemy of relationships; if the channels of communications are destroyed, then everything come to a standstill. But in the case of these crows, life goes on. I guess there could be misunderstanding among them too, but life does not stop there, they continue with life as joyfully as ever.

Each one of us build our own nests of relationships and after sometime we might realize that the nest we had been building does not suit our purpose, and that would be the time to dismantle it and start a different one, all over again. If we realize after sometime that we had been nurturing an unhealthy relationship with a person, it might be necessary to terminate it, and start relating to another person with better vibrations, so that there is enough moral and psychological backup given to us through other persons. We cannot afford to freeze life, it has to go on. I envy these birds who seem to be having a happy and joyful time together, though I have not seen them together too often. Who knows if they have another more permanent abode in the vicinity!

Art of Understanding

I really wonder how we human beings understand one another so well. I don’t know if there is any other creature on earth, who understand and communicate with one another as well as the humans. We depend largely on language to communicate, but language is not all. There are people who are able to communicate with others through non-verbal signs and gestures. The speech-impaired do communicate themselves, though their communication is very different from what most of the people would do.

But behind this seemingly simple process of understanding one another, there is a whole lot of things happening in and out of us. In order to understand a person, the receiver should be in a proper frame of mind, to receive the code which comes encoded in the form of a gesture or language, and it is the duty of the receiver to decode the message, and respond appropriately to show the receiver that the message has been properly received. Levi Strauss has extensively studied the way we communicate with one another… but that is all theory.

Why do we often experience a break in communication? Why do we face misunderstanding even with familiar people? In a communicative process, any disturbing factor is technically called a noise; this noise is not merely auditory, consisting of audio signals, but it has several layers, one important layer being the psychological. This simply means that in order to achieve a good level of communication, the speaker’s heart should be in sync (short for synchronization) with that of the receiver’s heart. When there is a mismatch, then the communication is bound to fail.

Thus it is within our power to direct the way communication takes place with me and within me; it is not too difficult to create artificial noise around me so that I do not hear the other person, and then can go to any extent to find excuses. No communication is hundred percent faultless. The perfect communication that can ever be possible is beyond the reach of human beings. Even an attempt to communicate to my own inner self is inadequate, and leaves a lot of gap, that I find it hard to reach a perfect equilibrium with one’s own self.

But how does God communicate to human beings, and what are the noises that we can identify? Even when God communicates himself/herself through the best medium possible, yet human mind may plant an artificial barrier between them and the message… No wonder, our communication with God, or the reverse, God’s communication with humanity is never a finished task, but a process that will go on till the end of time. Maybe at the end of time, we may sigh and say, Ah, now we understand what God was communicating to us!