Calling on Convictions

It is hard to explain what my convictions mean to me; I have been shaped and molded by my many convictions over the years, and every major experience in life had taught me lessons, which are carved in my manifold convictions. They are in a sense sacred to me, because they are the guiding principles, based on which I adjust each of my future moves. I find it very difficult when someone challenges them, leave alone questions the authenticity of them. Not everyone understands that we do not arrive at convictions over night, they are like plants which take months and years to grow and stand firmly on their roots. It might be easy for some who do not know to just pooh pooh them.

We always look at reality around us with our subjective eyes, and there is hardly anything which could be called objective in our perspectives. That is why Milton’s famed words, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. If that is the case, there is bound to be differences of opinion, and it is wrong to dissect and analyse them, or do a comparative study of them. What I have learned from life may be diametrically different from what someone else has learned. Life is not an objective reality, but is a subjective reality which shapes persons according to the degree of their openness and transparency. In this regard, every experience in life is important to the person who is ready to take the best out of experiences.

Thank God for the differences of opinion in the way we look at reality around us, and because of this we are able to improve on things. If every one thought in the same way, and looked at reality with the same vision, then there would be hardly anything to be perfected. It is only because some are able to go beyond the periphery and look into the matter of things that we are able to fine-tune reality and present them in a way which can be a perfect image of reality as far as human mind can perceive. Comparing the convictions of persons can be a dangerous act, which may brand people and straight-jacket them on the basis of their perception.

Not all convictions stay with us all through life; just as they take a long time to get shaped, it takes a long time for them to fade into thin air. I still remember many of my youth convictions have disappeared as I matured; I dropped them whenever I found then in direct conflict with life-promoting elements. I have learned that I cannot hold on to any conviction or ideology or perspective which is not promoting life; I have learned to look at the brighter side of life, and we may find a million ways how life is a means of promoting vitality and energy, and bringing the best out of human persons. Ultimately I have learned that I cannot hold on to convictions which are in out of sync with the present world, and do not help me to find my way.

It is impossible to drop my convictions, even when I realize that they are out of date with the present times; they will take their due course to fall from the tree; just like every autumn is the season for trees to drop down the old and outdated, and help new leaves to shoot up during spring. Life too has designed such a plan for all of us, and it is our duty to allow such time and space for nature to play such harmonious chord in life. Any attempt to drop down convictions and viewpoints without proper consideration, may only result in ripple effects which may disturb the harmony we enjoy within our selves and with the world around us. This is what we call “adjustment”, which is one of the primary concepts which we need to pay attention to when we are working with others.

Needless Network

He was known among familiar circles as a champion of the underdog; if there was one person who dared to speak in support of the domestic support staff and the casual laborers, it is undoubtedly he. However he had a soft spot for two of the families, with whom he had an intimate relationship; the little girl he had seen some years ago, is today a young lady, and the fondness he had for her when she was seven or eight years old, continues to draw him close to her, to support her, be affectionate to her, and this unholy alliance had caused him more than enough trouble for him, and yet he would plough through all of these, and continue to express his allegiance to this family.

In terms of the social status, this family could boast about nothing; the two children, the elder girl and the younger boy, together with their parents formed the happy family. But my friend became the voice of the voiceless family when they were in trouble, and had to fight their way through with the management. Though he was part of the management, and yet he dared to distance himself from the authority and stood at the other side to support them. This betrayal had been frowned upon on several occasions by all the persons concerned, but he was adamant not to give in to the pressure from his peers to forsake the family and show his allegiance to the management.

What had been the cause of his unusual affection to the girl, and through her to the family? It is not easy to answer this question. He should be close to 50, and she should be about 20. Surely it is not a love relationship; one said that the relationship was that of a parent and a child, but such a relationship generally bloom in the midst of orphans, who look for their father or mother figure in others. But when her parents are both hale and hearty, what was she looking for in him? Or to look at the other side of the spectrum, what was he looking for in this girl, apart from her affectionate words, beautiful look? It might remain a mystery all the days to come, and yet it is a reality many are aware of.

One thing was sure, he would not dare to neglect his responsibility and duty in order to express his fondness to the girl, or his support to the family. His precious personal time had been often given to them, and he was happy about it, even when he had been pointed out that he refused to be in company with his peers and friends, who formed part of his family. In his own way, he was adamant and obstinate, and no one could really make him understand that he had to let the girl’s family steer their lives, independent of his support and assistance. It was a needless support that he rendered to the family, many were sure of, and yet he would not bite their arguments.

What would happen when he is shifted from this place, I was asking one of his very close associates, and he had no answer. His contact and affection for the girl and love for the family will have to come to a close at some time or other; he cannot afford to support them endlessly. It might happen very soon, and he may be left to wonder how he could support them. The family which had been milking his support, without realizing that he had been jeopardizing his own relationship with other members of his peer group, may have to realize that they may have to stand on their own feet without feeling the need of his support. It is only when both the parties realize the need to distance themselves from the other party, that real growth can take place in both of them.

Swing of the Pendulum

In less than 24 hours, the pendulum had swung from one end to the other; it was quite surprising for me to listen to the very people who had found more than half a dozen unholy tendencies, today ventured to assure me with more than that many virtues. Were they consciously trying to undo the damage they had collectively done to my personality? The swift was too sudden, and I struggled to understand how these men, all of them so mature and aged, could do this? When all is said and done, they were helpless to find people whom they could rely on; they might find me so weak and vulnerable, but they did not seem to find a better person around, and I would think they themselves might not fit into the bill.

I would not have liked to stage a drama, trying to hold on to my guns, as it were, and trying to lash them for the heap of personal feedback they had levied on me. I could have very easily told them how they could not see these many virtues yesterday in me, and today all of a sudden all of them were unanimous to undertake a job which was vital and there was not a single soul who fitted into their expectations. Maybe they felt it quite humiliating to accept their own fault, and therefore had to send me out to discuss among themselves how they would push the pendulum to the other side and make me accept their proposal. When I had come, they did repeat all that they had faithfully prepared. This time they depended on me.

It was possible for me to refuse their offer, and make them regret for what they had done to me barely 24 hours ago; but still then I am not sure if that would have made them realize it. They were in a situation which was more than pathetic. They needed someone to salvage the situation, and suddenly it dawned to them after discussing for more than two hours that I would just fit in, and the boss who used the most sugar coated words did not stop to observe that he felt a kind of peace within when he considered my name to hold this important assignment. It is not going to be easy, but they said that I was credible and a role-model to hold this post. Was I carried away by their sweet words? I was careful not to swallow their words, but was available for whatever was the need of the hour.

I did not expect this to happen; this was something I could not believe would happen to me; it is not that it was something impossible for me to handle, but I always considered myself as a misfit for this assignment. But the four men considered me an ideal person to fit into the assignment, and each of them ventured to justify their proposal. I could understand that they all had a point to make, but they also were in a situation which demanded me to step in. They could not think of another person, more suitable than I. They were more than pleased when I agreed to their proposal and accepted to embrace this tough task.

It is impossible for me to assess if they were rethinking about their comments about me on the previous day, but surely they would have been happy about my availability, which I considered was one of my strong assets. Though they had strong reservations about the way how I presented myself, yet today they thought that I had an exemplary demeanor which could challenge young men. I had a feeling that during the two days battle, I had won over, though at the end of the day yesterday, I had a lump of sadness lurking in my stomach, and the loving and tender words of my dear friend soothed much of the pain, and today here I am to narrate the other side of the narration at the battlefront. But I know for sure I am to be prepared for more battlefields to face and embrace.

Art of Understanding

I really wonder how we human beings understand one another so well. I don’t know if there is any other creature on earth, who understand and communicate with one another as well as the humans. We depend largely on language to communicate, but language is not all. There are people who are able to communicate with others through non-verbal signs and gestures. The speech-impaired do communicate themselves, though their communication is very different from what most of the people would do.

But behind this seemingly simple process of understanding one another, there is a whole lot of things happening in and out of us. In order to understand a person, the receiver should be in a proper frame of mind, to receive the code which comes encoded in the form of a gesture or language, and it is the duty of the receiver to decode the message, and respond appropriately to show the receiver that the message has been properly received. Levi Strauss has extensively studied the way we communicate with one another… but that is all theory.

Why do we often experience a break in communication? Why do we face misunderstanding even with familiar people? In a communicative process, any disturbing factor is technically called a noise; this noise is not merely auditory, consisting of audio signals, but it has several layers, one important layer being the psychological. This simply means that in order to achieve a good level of communication, the speaker’s heart should be in sync (short for synchronization) with that of the receiver’s heart. When there is a mismatch, then the communication is bound to fail.

Thus it is within our power to direct the way communication takes place with me and within me; it is not too difficult to create artificial noise around me so that I do not hear the other person, and then can go to any extent to find excuses. No communication is hundred percent faultless. The perfect communication that can ever be possible is beyond the reach of human beings. Even an attempt to communicate to my own inner self is inadequate, and leaves a lot of gap, that I find it hard to reach a perfect equilibrium with one’s own self.

But how does God communicate to human beings, and what are the noises that we can identify? Even when God communicates himself/herself through the best medium possible, yet human mind may plant an artificial barrier between them and the message… No wonder, our communication with God, or the reverse, God’s communication with humanity is never a finished task, but a process that will go on till the end of time. Maybe at the end of time, we may sigh and say, Ah, now we understand what God was communicating to us!