Storms and Silence

There would be too few people who do not know how a storm-stricken village or city appears; the uprooted trees, displaced roof-tops, utensils and beddings of the pavement dwellers strewn all over, the over turned umbrellas, and the pale yellow leaves of trees. But the silence that prevails after a storm could be frightening; except for occasional thunder and lightning, it is not something which people are too happy to welcome. However the hour of storm is no good tidings either. After every stormy situation in life, to get back to normal life is not so easy, and that is all the more painful to return to the pre-storm situation with the wounds and trauma of the stormy nights.

Having gone through several scores of stormy nights, I have realized that each stormy night leaves behind certain scars in me, some of which are indelible, and etched into my memory. I would be wrong to conclude that all the stormy nights had drowned me with melancholy and sadness; I had drawn meaningful and significant lessons out of them, which had helped me to see the path during dark nights of my soul. Thanks to these stormy nights, I have been shaken out of the mediocre, status quo, self-complacency, and am able to wrap up my belt around and get ready to face life as it comes to me in bits and pieces.

Every storm is a reminder to me that there is silence not too far away, and every silence is a reminder to me that the next storm is not too far off! That is how life goes on, and these are the indications for me to be prepared to face the situation in whatever form they may come to me. I long for a storm, in the same way I long for silence after it, because it is impossible for silence to dawn on the land without a storm. Besides it is impossible for me to realize the beauty and splendor of the silence, if I do not know the ruthlessness and ransacking quality of the storm. That is why the English poet William Blake had dared to say, “without contraries is no progression”. We can appreciate light only in the backdrop of darkness.

I need to thank God for all the stormy nights, which had shaken me out of my roots, and had made me shiver to the core, had made me take shelter under the inner resources he had endowed me with; if not for the inner strength which flows from him, it is impossible for me to survive these nights. There had been moments when I had felt it was time for me to be swept away by the currents of the waters, and be lost forever; but soon I had also realized I had no right to run away from life in such a cowardly manner; that would be disgrace not only to this beautiful earth, but also to the entire human race. Storms are part of life, and anyone who fears storms cannot taste the sweetness of silence.

It is because I had gone through several stormy nights, that I am able to give shelter to others who are looking for certain amount of security at the time of their trouble and challenge. I am able to teach them the wisdom of facing the storms boldly and courageously, so that they might taste the sweetness of the silence thereafter. Every storm is a gift of God; we had been longing for the Nor’wester during the past few weeks, as the mercury level keeps soaring beyond all imagination, and we know only storm is enough to cool the earth, and permit the people to sleep in peace, even when the electricity fails. The storms may come when we least expect them, and what is strange, even the weathermen are not able to predict them, and that is the beauty of these angels of destruction, who also usher in the angels of peace and tranquility.

Homage to Goddess of Wisdom

Today is the feast of Saraswati, the Goddess of Wisdom, and it is appropriate that I dwell on what I consider is true wisdom, as a way of paying my humble tribute to this wonderful (and beautiful) Goddess. One way how I could pay her my respect is to fall back on the popular Saraswati Vandana, which some states had made it obligatory to be recited in all schools. Looking at the lyrics of the Vandana, one would feel that there is nothing which is averse to a person of other faith, except that it is addressed to a Hindu goddess. One may find it hard to understand the Sanskrit slokas of the Vandana, as is presented in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-5PhbqgJY0&feature=player_embedded.

I liked the words of the lyrics, which describe the goddess in a pictorial way, and at the end seeking her protection. Here are the lyrics: "Oh Goddess Sarasvati, who is fair as a jasmine flower, the moon or a snow flake, who is dressed in white and whose hands are adorned by veena, who is seated in a white lotus, to whom Brahma, Vishnu and Maheshwara pray, please protect us." If four names are replaced by some other equivalents, this can go as a beautiful prayer, and I would love to make it part of my prayer each day; it can as well become the prayer of every person who believes in the true wisdom which flows from God.

How would I make my own adaptation of this prayer addressed to the Goddess of Wisdom and knowledge? "O God of wisdom, who is fair... to whom all angels and saints pray, please protect us!" The different images that are used to describe her, jasmine flower, moon or a snow flake, dressed in white, veena, lotus, all represent different aspects of true wisdom that flow from her (have we not heard about God as a feminine, even in Christian tradition? Julian of Norwich, John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila, have referred to God as a female figure!).

Jasmine flower is representative of the fragrance that is natural, and which can fill the atmosphere with a heavenly presence; snow and white naturally represent purity; veena of all human artistic talents and endeavors, lotus of soft and gentle flower, which even while living on water, yet is not overpowered by it! It may be hard for us to become like Saraswati, because as mortals, we may only share a tiny part of the divine wisdom that flows from her; part of the wisdom is granted to us at the time of our birth, and the other part is to be cultivated during our life-time here on earth. Only when we synchronize these two parts of wisdom, do we become like true images of this God of wisdom!

Wisdom also implies a humility on our part which reminds us constantly that we are merely a shadow of all true wisdom, which flows freely and gratuitously from God, and as we receive his wisdom, we have the responsibility to nurture and produce fruits which can benefit the world around us. Thus all true wisdom has a purpose, a social responsibility. If someone were to claim that his wisdom and knowledge is only for his personal satisfaction and contentment, then we may assume that what s/he has gained is not true wisdom, and that may be merely a pigment of his/her imagination. For a jasmine cannot contain its fragrance to itself, and a veena cannot contain the music within itself, and a lotus cannot contain the beauty to itself - they are all oriented to reach out to the other! That is where true wisdom may be found!

Fear Factor (1)

If there is one key to disaster in one's persona life, it is certainly the 'fear factor'. Fear, triggered by whatever it may be, can be fatal; what it does is to cripple one's confidence in oneself, in the world around and in God (or the Supreme Being, if you wish). And what is this fear, that can create havoc in our lives, and how do we handle them? These are not simple questions which can be answered in a few words; the greatest teacher, who can explain to us threadbare the answers to these questions, is undoubtedly life itself. But let us point out to a few guideposts which may come handy when in need.

One thing is for sure: fear is for the most part imaginary! We may assume that there is an objective fact behind the fear, but that is not the case. Take for instance, one of the most common fears is of failure. Most of us are frightened of failures - of future, success in examinations, career, relationships, and we imagine failure to happen in all possible areas of our personal and social lives. There are persons who assert that they were frightened of failure (which they swear was real), and they had to face it! The fact is one of the most important reasons for failure was not the person was incapable of success, but the fear!

The objective situations for all those who face examinations remain the same, and the basic capability to get through the examinations is also the same in most cases, and yet how is it that some manage to fail! Were they destined to fail? Of course not! There is nothing pre-destined! Once fear cripples our confidence and positive thinking, already then the failure has begun. The reverse can also be true; those who are not intellectually so gifted, and yet due to their confidence and perseverance, would get through the examinations easily, and confidently. That was just to show what fear can do to us!

Another popular misconception regarding fear is that it is universal; it is true all of us are afraid of something or other; have we not heard about great war heroes and police commanders who are afraid of cockroaches or garden lizards? Or well educated women who are frightened of frogs? But as we grow up in life, we keep shedding most of the fears, and if we fail to shed them, but cling to them, that is where the problem starts. Is it not true that there are more people who would think a rope to be a snake in darkness, and experience certain fear deep within? All that would free them fear is to throw a small stone at it, or stir it with a stick!

The objective reality outside of us does not change, but only our thinking changes; the snake does not become a rope nor does the rope becomes a snake; but the thinking goes through a change in our mind, from day to night. But is there a way of asserting the reality as it is, instead of putting an extra label on it, as something what it is not? It is possible through mind assertion! In the mind I need to assert that it is not a snake but merely a rope! Mind you, this can make miracles - with mind assertion, even if it is a snake, for instance, and still you will be able to get over it with great ease and confidence!

Waiting is Wanting

Believe it or not, there is a lot of thrill in waiting, mingled with certain amount of anticipation, colored with a dose of anxiety. Waiting for something new is all the more exciting; for instance waiting to meet a friend about whom I had heard a lot but had never met him/her is something that cannot be adequately expressed by words. We imagine things – long hair or short hair, fair or darkish in complexion, introvert or extravert, jovial or serious, and the list is quite endless. But at the time of meeting, all our expectations and imagination of the person fade into oblivion, and we never recollect what we had imagined. Every waiting has the potential to either put us in sheer joy, or drown us in perpetual sorrow. The longing that we anticipate in waiting for a person, can only be experienced, and it might be hard to verbalise the feelings that accompany the waiting.

Those who had the privilege of being introduced to modern English literature would have come across a play Waiting for Godot, which is included in the category of Absurd Theatre. In fact it would be quite hard to say even a few words about this play, which had brought Beckett to fame in literary circles, because it portrayed reality as we encounter each day; Beckett need not tell us that our lives are full of absurdities, whose meaning and significance we can never fathom. Waiting for Godot is basically about waiting for no one, because Godot does not turn up, and was Godot a real person or just a concept we take it for granted? Those however are questions that literary students can crack their minds with, and we on our part can only say that it was a different kind of waiting, quite contrary to the kind of waiting that we have just mentioned in the first paragraph. You may ask me, but can there be two kinds of waiting in reality? Isn’t reality one and undivided? Every sage worth his/her name in India has said something or other about this undivided non-dualistic (a-dvaita) nature of reality. But let us quickly say that reality is one, however our perceptions can be deceptive, and we may take a rope for snake, and we may blame ignorance (avidya) as the root cause of it all.

Waiting… can be excruciating; there is a sizable amount of anxiety that this waiting arouses in us; what if… is the phrase that keeps flickering in our mind. What if the person does not turn up? What if the train is cancelled? What if something were to happen to my friend who is to come to my home for lunch on the way? It is not easy to put up with these questions, often unrealistic, but the mind does not leave any possibility outside its domain; it is true that it often projects only the worst and we have to fight a fierce battle to complement the mind’s projections. It is often said that it would be better not to expect anything in such moments; expectations are bad, we are told at every important juncture of our life. Don’t expect too big things, because when such things do not happen, you are thrown into pits from where you might find it hard to climb out. But sadly waiting and expectations are wedded to each other, they cannot be separated.

When conducting short sessions or seminars or workshops, sometimes we ask the participants, what do you expect from this session; a good many of them would frankly say their fears, anxieties and apprehensions. But a small group would often say that they don’t have any expectations, and unfortunately such a situation cannot arise. All of us have some expectations or other, positive or negative. In order to hide the negative or destructive expectations, we would cover them up with no expectations. On the other level, we can also realize that we are sometimes not aware of the movements of our heart, the direction of our minds; what it thinks, where it goes, when it returns and who accompanies it.

Today I am going to freeze two minutes from my daily schedule, in order to capture my mind as to what it is thinking about a certain waiting… expectation, that is to take place either today or tomorrow. We often wish to by-pass such waiting or expectations, and try to divert our attention to things which will make us forget about the things that zoom into our selves. But today I am not going to run away, but wish to stand and watch these waiting and expectations cast a magic spell on me. That is reality and I am here to embrace it, without any attempt to run away from it, even if it drowns me into swing of moods. Because I am here to know and understand that behind every waiting and expectations is there a good tiding, a fulfillment, completion of a task assigned. When I begin to stand erect and face reality as it approaches me, I am proving to the world that I am in control over reality, whether it is positive or negative. After all, I cannot forsake my own shadows!