Fear Factor (2) - Enemy within

On several significant moments of life, I have realized that I have been let down by an arch enemy, who has been following me wherever I went, whatever I did: myself, my inner self, my conscience, my mind, or my spirit! I may have a dozen names to describe how frightened I am to myself. I am not afraid of anyone on earth as I dread my inner self. It is paradoxical and even ironical to realize that I am afraid of myself, the one I know like the back of my palm! It really sounds ridiculous, but that is the fact! I cannot trust myself, I cannot believe in self, and I cannot predict how I would respond to a particular situation! I am so very unpredictable that I am frightened of myself!

But what am I afraid of, and why should I? The answers for these two questions are not as simple as the questions may sound! I may liken my innerself to a most sophisticated database, which processes every proposal I make in the light of the past experiences, correlates to them, and provides me an alternative that I should choose. Invariably the self would not permit me to choose something that is not in the database, but only that has been earlier registered. In that case, if I venture to choose something new, the mind puts a sense of fear, and later this is converted to guilt, leading to half a dozen ill-feelings which prematurely kill life spirit in me!

The fact is, before I begin to be frightened of others, however powerful they be, I am frightened of myself, and it would require far more courageous and energetic affirmation to convince one's inner self and come out to face reality! The enemy outside of me is not as horrendous and fearsome as the one inside of me. But is not there a way to free myself from the fears which may paralyse me for eternity, and face life as it comes to me? Of course there is a simple way, if we are prepared to give a try! Dissociate oneself from the chains of the past, and one is free from the fears which had kept oneself under control for years.

But why should our inner selves take refuge in the past experiences, be they positive or negative? The answer is rather simple: the self has to have certain anchor points, where it can place itself, when there are external attacks, and most often the past experiences provide such anchor points; these are so-called secure, safe-zones, but one may forget that in the long run these anchor points may become our chains. Dissociating oneself from the past experiences may not be as simple; but one may surely try to become conscious of what the past experiences could do to one's present.

Anyone who is frightened of one's inner self is sure to end up with defeat, because even the worst coward can defeat the most ferocious hero who has been defeated by own's own inner self. At the same time, even the best of external enemies cannot defeat the one who has freed himself/herself from the clutches of the inner self. Is it hard to dissociate ourselves from our past? It should not be, because unless we dissociate ourselves from the past, we cannot authentically live the present; anyone who has not left behind the baggage of the past, cannot taste freedom, happiness and peace.

Fear Factor (1)

If there is one key to disaster in one's persona life, it is certainly the 'fear factor'. Fear, triggered by whatever it may be, can be fatal; what it does is to cripple one's confidence in oneself, in the world around and in God (or the Supreme Being, if you wish). And what is this fear, that can create havoc in our lives, and how do we handle them? These are not simple questions which can be answered in a few words; the greatest teacher, who can explain to us threadbare the answers to these questions, is undoubtedly life itself. But let us point out to a few guideposts which may come handy when in need.

One thing is for sure: fear is for the most part imaginary! We may assume that there is an objective fact behind the fear, but that is not the case. Take for instance, one of the most common fears is of failure. Most of us are frightened of failures - of future, success in examinations, career, relationships, and we imagine failure to happen in all possible areas of our personal and social lives. There are persons who assert that they were frightened of failure (which they swear was real), and they had to face it! The fact is one of the most important reasons for failure was not the person was incapable of success, but the fear!

The objective situations for all those who face examinations remain the same, and the basic capability to get through the examinations is also the same in most cases, and yet how is it that some manage to fail! Were they destined to fail? Of course not! There is nothing pre-destined! Once fear cripples our confidence and positive thinking, already then the failure has begun. The reverse can also be true; those who are not intellectually so gifted, and yet due to their confidence and perseverance, would get through the examinations easily, and confidently. That was just to show what fear can do to us!

Another popular misconception regarding fear is that it is universal; it is true all of us are afraid of something or other; have we not heard about great war heroes and police commanders who are afraid of cockroaches or garden lizards? Or well educated women who are frightened of frogs? But as we grow up in life, we keep shedding most of the fears, and if we fail to shed them, but cling to them, that is where the problem starts. Is it not true that there are more people who would think a rope to be a snake in darkness, and experience certain fear deep within? All that would free them fear is to throw a small stone at it, or stir it with a stick!

The objective reality outside of us does not change, but only our thinking changes; the snake does not become a rope nor does the rope becomes a snake; but the thinking goes through a change in our mind, from day to night. But is there a way of asserting the reality as it is, instead of putting an extra label on it, as something what it is not? It is possible through mind assertion! In the mind I need to assert that it is not a snake but merely a rope! Mind you, this can make miracles - with mind assertion, even if it is a snake, for instance, and still you will be able to get over it with great ease and confidence!

Name the Devil!

Let me acknowledge I am notorious for not remembering names, even of people who had been interacting with me for days and months. And to be frank, I don't make any serious effort to remember names of peoples. And what is strange, I can remember the names of some people, without any effort, even after our first meeting, I know the name of the person, and can remember even after weeks and months. That only shows how my mind works! Surely the mind captures and registers the names of only the persons who really matter to me! Not any Tom, Dick and Harry, or any Mary Kutty, Sonali and Rupali! The mind has its own logic, some times quite queer and wierd, but that is how it works!

I know how important it is to name persons and things. Names represent the person, and his/her identity. To remember the name of a person is to say that I care for him/her, and if I don't or can't remember a person's name, that simply shows that person does not much matter to me (at least in the same way as I matter to him/her)! If naming matters greatly in human relationships, it matters all the more in handling what goes on deep within! A person who can name what goes on deep within, also knows how to manage life, its tough storms and thunder, rain and shine! But it is an art to really name the intricate play of reason and feeling, which incessantly run on the mindscape.

I had said in my earlier blog that fear holds the key to the downfall of many of our dreams, to the destruction of all that we are capable of! When fear takes charge of my being, I become just a victim of all the persons and situations around me, a helpless victim, who has but no control over anything whatsoever. I had also said that one way of overcoming the imposing power of fear, is by recognizing it attempting to cripple my life little by little, and that will lead me to defeat fear! But still one may not be too sure that the fear has left him/her for good. There is a way to make that sure.

If I don't stop with recognizing fear, but attempt to name each one of them, that is where I not only exorcise fear from my inner being, but also remove it from its roots. That is the way to make fear powerless, that is the way to cripple fear, before it cripples me. Most often fear exists in us in a nebulous way, and it is hard to really hold it. The moment when you thought you had caught hold of it, it slips from your hand, and you are caught chasing the wind uselessly. But wait for the fear to approach you, and don't go in search of it! It will knock at your door when you least expect it; if you are prepared to tackle it, then you will catch it before it enters into your room.

Put that label, which best fits the fear that is attempting to overpower you, and stick it on to it, and your job is done. You can then rest in peace, for there is nothing more that you need to do. It works like a magic; fear will depart you the very moment it is named and labelled. By naming it, you have exerted power and control over it, and it cannot chase you any longer. You are the master of the situation now, and it will do your bidding, whatever that may be. From that moment onwards, fear will fear you, and will even run away from you, for fear you should put it to shame. Be bold enough to bid a joyful farewell to fear, for when fear departs from you, the doors of happiness and peace are opened wide for you to enter!