The Last Run

When I first heard how this young man ended his life one night, I just could not digest the fact that there are such cowards still in the world. The vice-principal of a prestigious educational institution, known to so many illustrious persons resorted to such cowardly act of ending his life with a rope, hanging himself from the fan in his room! If that was a cowardly act, which I cannot accept, the reason why he did so was all the more cowardly. Just because a lady with whom he had a clandestine relationship, even physical affairs, was going to be married to another man, this young man wished to bargain with her, either she accepts him and forsakes the wedding, or he ends his life!

The lady, who happened to be working under the care of this young man, ultimately decided to find her own way, least expecting her paramour to decide something which was beyond all her imagination. One may go all lengths to blame the lady for tricking the young religious man into a relationship which was not becoming of his religious identity, leave alone of a gentleman. We are not sure how the relationship between the lady and the young religious priest began and bloomed, but one thing is for sure, the young man was far from being a religious, he was not even being an average human person, who could accept reality as it came to us.

I feel sad for the young man, who at the age of just 41, prime of his life, decided to bid farewell to the world, without a word to friends and relatives, all the people he grew with… and he quietly quit the world at the dark of the night. I am not much worried about the scandal that this incident of suicide has created in the city, but am worried more about the blot that it has left on religious life in general; the religious have lost much of their credibility because of the stupidity of this one young man, who had his own reason, however narrow it might be, to do what he wanted, without ever thinking of what the act would land him and his religious order into.

I feel there is nothing on earth which can be a valid reason for a person to take off his life, and surely not relationships, because with regard to human relationship, we enter into a limitless ocean, and we would find certain points shallow and certain other points deep. We may have to walk with care and caution, so that we do not allow ourselves to be drowned. There may be cozy points, there might be quicksand, and there may also be dry ground in the midst of water. We all of us find persons of our choice and taste during our sojourn on the sea; some persons enter into our lives for a short duration, while some others walk with us greater distance, and very seldom we may find persons who may walk with us all the way.

The number of persons embracing death in the recent years has increased manifold; for quite many young people it is the easy way to escape life. It is heartening to listen to the story of each of the people who have resorted to end their lives, for silliest reasons to grave ones. I am convinced of one thing, we cannot give any reason for running away from life; by trying to end their lives, these people have only tried to prove, they were not meant to be born on earth; for the world belongs only to the people who know how to live courageously and appreciate life on earth. The escapists had entered into the world by mistake and probably the world never belonged to them, very much as they did not belong to the world.

Karmanye vadi karaste…

It was wonderful listening to a leader who wields power next only to the Roman Pontiff, the Superior General of the Society of Jesus, Father Adolfo Nicolas, who has spent a large part of his active years in Japan as missionary and professor of theology, talk about the Japanese ways and beliefs. At one point of his discussion about common apostolic discernment here in Monto Cocco retreat house off Rome, he said that one of the biggest diseases plaguing the universe today is the search for success. Unfortunately success has become the key word in all spheres of life today, and one can never think of failure, and that may mean the death-knell of not only one’s career, but also one’s whole life. No one wants to face failure, not even the children, who are taught to aspire higher and higher in the success ladder. A year ago we had a class three student, aged 8 years, in one of our prestigious schools, who apparently committed suicide. It was shocking news to all of us, for what would a child of eight years know about committing suicide, and he was not afraid of failure, because he was a brilliant student. His problem was that he could not score 25 out of 25, but only score 21, and was afraid that his mother would beat him for not scoring higher, and so ended his life. Another version tells that the mother beat the boy to death, and complained to the police as if the boy had committed suicide.

But that is the reality we are dealing with today. The lowest rung of the ladder is expected to be success, and one is to climb higher and higher. It does not matter if one is happy or not; that is immaterial. It is believed that more and more of success would automatically bring in happier life, and to a large extent success is put in direct proportion to happiness, though in reality it does not happen that way. It is a way of enticing humanity in showing the way of success as leading to guaranteed happiness, so that people are attracted to aspire towards success. Granted that success in life is accompanied by sweat and blood in most cases, but one does not mind hardships in life, provided with success in life, happiness is awarded or rewarded. The present competitive world not only entices, but also opens up gateways to achieve success in life, of course for a heavy price. At the expense of foregoing one’s personal needs and necessities, curbing social ties, even breaking one’s closest ties with families and siblings. The modern day gurus advocate all means in order to succeed in life.

If half of the fraternity in the commercial world were to know that success does not guarantee happiness in life, they may think twice before jumping into the success-band wagon. Fortunately by now half of humanity has knows that what truly matters in life is happiness, and not necessarily success, but they are yet to know the fact that success does not guarantee happiness. Those who make use of the ignorance of the whole lot of people, have even devised methods of making shortcuts to success; there are crash courses to achieve success at a very short period – you may have to dole out a lot of money, may even forego one’s honor and prestige, should even be prepared to lose all shame and all the virtues we had been taught from the time of childhood. It is a competitive world we are entering into, where what matters is the personal gain, even slaying one’s kith and kin. But that is the business ethics today, the unwritten law of success taught in all management schools, though not in open, but in close circles.

Three of the major religions of the world – Christianity, Hinduism and Buddhism have taught one truth that the modern generation will not buy today : do your duty and leave the fruits to me. But perhaps it was articulated in the most emphatic way in the Bhagavad Gita, when Lord Krishna advices his disciple Arjuna to do his duty and not to think about the fruits. What happens if the Lord wants me to be a failure in my work? My mind reacts immediately and retorts, but how can the Lord want me to be a failure? I may have to remember that what is success in the eyes of the world, may truly be failure to the Lord, and what is failure in His/Her eyes may be in fact success. If the fruits of a particular action is success or failure is not for me to determine, but for the Lord. If only I am prepared to embrace even failure, and better still not to be bothered about the fruits of my labor, then I can be a happy person; because one can be happy even one’s failure, when one knows that one had done one’s best, and was satisfied by the sincere efforts made. But the algebra of happiness truly lies in our mental disposition, and not in the objective fruit it yields.

Is it possible for me to forego the desire to be successful? Or let me put the question reverse: will I be prepared to embrace failure? Granted that sometimes failure is thrust upon me, and I may not find an alternative to it; but if I am given an option to choose success or failure, will I have the courage and strength to choose deliberately and voluntarily failure? Today I pause for a while, and go through the different actions of mine from the early morning; I will also remember the kind of fruit I expect and anticipate. Let me take each of the actions and consider their fruits in negative, namely all my efforts ending up in failure. Let me feel deep within what would be the kind of feeling I would experience deep within. If I am able to rise above success and failure, then I would surely rise above happiness and sadness, and such are the persons, whom Lord Krishna calls in the Bhagavad Gita, dear to him (9:16-20). Here is an easy way then, to become close to the Lord, and enter into true happiness, and here it is guaranteed by the Lord himself, and we have nothing to worry or lose. (Rome)

Defreezing Depression

When on e of my closest friends sent an SMS to me saying she had been feeling lonely and was undergoing certain kind of depression, I shuddered and shivered. This are two words that I would not like to hear from my friends (not that there are no other word making my blood to clot – cancer, my sister had gone through the pain of it, and heart-attack, my sister losing her husband due to it, are quite foreboding even today)! If only we realize the causes of depression and loneliness, and what they could lead one to, we cannot take such feelings lightly. At some time or other, even the most joyous of people experience such fleeting moments and depending on how they handle such feelings, they may get out of them, or move from bad to worse.

Believe it or not, loneliness is the patrimony of the modern generation. Time has become the most expensive commodity in the business world, and human relations the biggest casualty. There are more and more objects of pleasure entering our malls and supermarkets to keep us on our toes 24x7. Keep our toes, did I say? Precisely! We find it hard to sleep for a few hours continuously – cat’s nap is what keep many business people and high-class people going, though their life-span is shortened considerably due to negligence of their health. Each one in the world is slowly turned into a microcosm of himself, herself, with no one to give company. What we are left with are a few electronic and digital gadgets, who have replaced our grandmas and grandpas, even papas and mamas. Relating to machines is quite different from persons. Feeling lonely is the by-product of market economy: and this is a problem that needs to be nibbed already at the bud.

If we have to do a survey of the number of persons going through acute to chronic depression these days, we would be shocked to know that the number is alarmingly high, and is always on the rise. There are more and more cases of suicides among the affluent and the so-called high-classes in society. What makes them resort to such cowardly acts of ending their lives? For one thing, they often feel they are left alone to face the endless row of problems and complex situations beyond their capacity. They lose all hope in their friends and neighbors, and the world becomes a bitter reality they can hardly bear. They feel they would be happier to end their lives – by whatever means! But are there alternative ways by which they can help themselves and look at life with a different vision?

Of course there are ways and means of overcoming the feelings of loneliness and depression. No one on earth is so unfortunate not to have even a single person in the universe with whom he/she does not have a very close relationship. It is not necessarily that husbands will always have their wives as their closest confidantes, and the opposite may also be true. As soon as a fleeting feeling of loneliness and depression surfaces, we need to call such people and pour ourselves out. Keeping such feelings within may be dangerous and it may even lead to undesirable consequences. Secondly to keep oneself busy with the kind of things one is fond of; the idea is not give any scope to be idle, for it is an idle mind which plots against life. Thirdly, watch comics and humorous films on the television or video, and laugh with the characters, and this will ease things out a little. Make sure to stack a few top humorous comedies of Charlie Chaplain and Laurel & Hardy in your cupboard.

If you don’t have people with whom you could confide, don’t worry; just walk into a nearby garden and speak to the trees and grass, flowers and leaves. Pour yourself to them, and you may listen to their thin voice, and you will realize that they are indeed good friends. Or look at a bird sitting on a branch of a tree and strike a conversation with it, and it may have a sweet message of friendship for you. Or speak to the clouds, or the Sun, the moon… every created reality around you. Probably it will not take you too long to realize that you are no longer alone in this vast universe, all are there with you, by your side. If you realize this, then you will also feel that you have the wellsprings of life running from your heart, and you had not paid your attention to it so far! Now is the wake up call to fall back on these wellsprings of life!