Rude Rustics

Sometimes the human ego is capable of blotting beyond all shape and size for no reason, and it would often require a big jolt to bring the ego to get to normal. The ego often looks for a reason, however reasonable it may be, in order to blow its trumpet, even if it is just to tell the world that no one can compete with him or her in the slow walk race. But this is an art which is ingrained in human nature, and it does not take time or effort for us to really blow our trumpets, and then make people clap their hands in high appreciation and esteem for our music! It is annoying to come across relatively young people trying to do this to their seniors.

The young man had been out of the country on a special assignment to teach in a neighboring country for the last two years, and now he already blows an air of superiority, and does not even mind ordering men many years senior to him. This is a kind of liberty and freedom which he feels he deserves, after two years of royal service. It was on Saturday evening that I received an email from this young man, a very brief one, telling me that he requires one of his certificates to be scanned and sent to another person. It was too late for me to do it, since it was evening, so I sent him a quick reply saying that I would do it on Monday, the next working day. But a little later I get another one line email from him telling me that it had to be sent on Sunday.

It was quite annoying for me to get this kind of mail from a young man who is some 15 years younger to me, and I decided not to reply to him. I generally do not take up office work on a Sunday; it is a sacred day, dedicated only for me, and I very seldom would do something related to the office on this day. This is my sacred time, my private space, when I like to do what I love to do. I relax and do what I could not complete during the week. I had quite a few programs planned for the Sunday, and mentally I was not in a mood to comply with the request of the man. I did not want to respond to him and explode him on how he should make a request to a senior person. His words sounded like an order to me, and I felt quite concerned about the way he was demanding.

I felt I need to teach a simple lesson to this man, first, that he cannot keep urgent things for the eleventh hour, and second, even if there is an urgent work to be done, he should learn how to get it done by requesting and cajoling. On Sunday evening, again I get a one line mail, asking if I had sent the document to his friend, and I decided to ignore his mail. I scanned his document and sent it to him and to his friend on Monday morning… and just as I expected, there was not even an acknowledgment to my taking time to scan the document and sending it. I believe he thought it was my duty to do this for him, and at one time I was tempted to give him a piece of my mind, and I had even typed three lines… but something in me told me not to send it, and so I canceled the mail… he may learn a lesson at least later in life, I am sure.

It is difficult not to be affected by this kind of rude and cold behavior of persons; and it is sure to be more painful when we have to rub shoulders with such persons each day. I had the opportunity to live such persons at close quarters, and luckily the persons were on the move most of the days, and my days were saved. Today I would like to pause for a while and think of these persons; there is hardly anything that I can do to make them prevent relating to me and others this way, but I can react to them in a manner different from others. So instead of getting affected by such rude and cold behavior, I would like to take their behavior with a pinch of salt, and even ignore them if required. After all, I should not empower them to spoil my day.

Looking through the Window

It is hard to pin-point what exactly has gone wrong with me today; the day began as usual; there was a more than usual share of office correspondence to be checked, and some official documents to be prepared, but beyond them all, there was nothing unusual,and yet I found something strange with me! There was a sense of restlessness deep within me and that made me show my anger at a friend who even after trying for four times on her mobile phone, continued to chat with her friend. I was annoyed and irritated, though I would not think she had done an heinous crime! But I do not really know what was responsible for this restlessness!

From the way I feel just now, I know somewhere something has been switched on, which could make my moods swing. It is possible that I had carried the uneasy feeling I felt as when I went to sleep last night; it was prompted by one of my friends, and she began the day speaking to me on a matter-of-fact tone, which really disturbed me. I might have disturbed her last night, and she was angry with me for that, and today she showed her indifference and anger through different ways. Maybe that is what has made me feel down all the day long. But I would be wrong to make her responsible for my feeling!

At least for today, I would like to own up my own feelings and mistakes, and am not going to look for any scapegoats! Often I find great pleasure in dumping my mistakes, blunders and weaknesses onto others, and claim innocence for me; the blame game is one of the first games we learn to play in our childhood days, and we are taught to play it well. But we are not children anymore (though many of us may behave so), and it is time we behave like adults. Until I own up myself as I am, I am building a big fat ego, which is like a bubble, that can be blown by a slight gust of wind! Then, why should I blow my trumpet, when I know for sure it will be submerged by mighty thunders?

If I can find so much of smoke all around me, is it not possible to find where all the smoke is coming from? I need to find the spark of fire, slowly and steadily eating up something which can be consumed. I sit quietly and venture to delve deep into the heart of my being, to the center of my body-mind-spirit complex! It is not an easy task to bring these three elements to a sync (short for syncronization). I look for the spark of fire at every nook and cranny of this complex, and I can find nothing which can be held responsible for the smoke. Maybe it is the smoke from the unresolved agenda of the past, but I am not prepared to pursue the past!

One question suddenly pops up in my mind: why should be down, whatever be the reason? Is there anything on earth, which can really make me sad? No one can make me sad, I alone can deliberately and willingly allow myself to be sad; in the same way, no one on earth can make me happy; I alone can decide to be happy, and no one can snatch it from me. It does not take much for me to cheer up - I can cheer up even without a mug of beer, or whiskey! All I need is to turn on the music CD that I love, and let myself be drowned by the music and melody, and at the end of the song, I would know there is a new current flowing over me, and I can look at the blue sky through the window, and smile!