Failures as stepping stones

I know one thing for sure, I do not determine the success or failure of the things I am engaged in. Though I would desire success in all that I do, I do not succeed in achieving it; I am not able to say if there is something basically lacking in me, or if I am expecting far too much from life. I do have a good share of success in life, and for that I would ever be grateful to God; there were times when my companions and friends had envied me, and I had floated in vain glory. I even thought that I was smarter than what I had been imagining myself to be, or what others had thought me to be. But at the end of the day, I cannot help but admit that I am a mixture of success and failures in life, and I cannot hold on only to successes, for the real stepping stones in life are failures.

The world around me insists that success in life is the yardstick to measure the worth of life, but if that be the case a good majority of the human population would be condemned to failure in life, because what they had managed to achieve in life in terms of success are too negligible to mention. I know that success alone cannot be the indicator of how I have fared in life; I need to look for some other objective criteria, which will help me to assess my own self and that of others. Unfortunately the whole world may shout in unison that I was a utter failure in life and had not scored well in the examination of life, even if I had done my best. But I know with God there is a different kind of yardstick, and here he would look at my efforts and not so much the fruits of my labor.

Everyone around me looks at the fruits of my labor, if they are sweet or sour. There is not a single soul who would appreciate sour, but everyone would go in unison for the sweet. But the sour moments alone help a person to appreciate the beauty and wonder of the sweet. I had been overly conscious of achieving success in life, and in the meantime had failed to live life as it came to me with all its innumerable hues and colors. I had failed miserably to taste what life offered me, and even if I had succeeded in life from the point of view of the world, I have failed miserably before the Lord and before my own inner self. I had resisted the moments of my failure and cursed everyone who had made me fail in life, because it came as a bitter moment for me; it would take a life time for me to understand the secret behind every failure I had walked through.

If every single person were to succeed in life, and does not experience failure, then life would be quite different. It is only because there are failures that we could strive towards success, but there are moments when we find it hard to rise up from the fall and continue further in life. There are the moments we long for a helping hand, and who else but God stretches out his hand on the Cross and helps us to hold on to the wooden frame which is the ultimate symbol of failure. If the Son of God had gone through the ultimate symbol of failure, what is there for me to accept miniscule minute failures, which may not even leave behind their traces in my life. It is the crucified Lord who accepted joyfully the shame of utter failure, which could give me the sight to see the wonder of embracing failures when they come my way!

There is nothing more shocking and embarrassing for me than the moment of failures; this is the most unwanted reality in my life, and in fact there is not a single soul on earth, who would willingly and joyfully welcome failure. This is the unwelcome friend who alone can help us understand and appreciate the hard way to face reality. Today I stand to welcome every failure which may come knocking at my door, because it is only when I embrace it joyfully that I can enter into the very mystery of the Cross, and then I may find my way to the mystery of the resurrection, a success which may far surpass anything I could ever think of. This perhaps is the way of the kenosis, the self-emptying love of the Lord for his people. If I want to partake of the paschal mystery, then there is no other way than the path of failures, shame, scandal and humiliation which the crucified Lord walked through. Today this could be my way too to find fulfillment and true joy in life.

God who protects the virtuous

The Holy Bible shows in umpteen ways how God walks the extra mile to protect the virtuous, because their lives are in his hands. He cannot let their lives be swept away together with the wicked. There are stories after stories in the Bible which show God’s special care for the virtuous, who follow his directives. He separates them from the evil-doers at the time of retribution and gifts them with life. Such is the case with Abraham’s brother Lot, who is taken out of Sodom and Gomorrah, before God rained fire and brimstone on the twin cities and destroyed it beyond all recognition, but he remembered to save Lot. In his old age, God promises that he would not destroy the city where he would take shelter as he ran away from the cities of destruction. That was a wonderful way how God had a special plan for Lot.

Whenever we cry to the Lord, he listens to our prayer. All that we need to do is stretch out our hands to him, and he is sure to hold us. Think of the situation of Peter, who was known for his impetuosity, and while seeing Jesus walking on the sea, he too wishes to walk on the water. Jesus loves people who dare to dream big, and therefore he invites him to step out of the boat and walk. Doubt and uncertainty grip him hard and he begins to sink, and the very next moment he seeks the help of his Master, who stretches out his hand to him and holds him tight. Jesus would not even require the request of Peter to save him from the danger of sinking, for he would not let his beloved disciple die in the sea. Such is the case with all those who seek the help and assistance of God, he would be there to protect and save them.

I may wonder if I am truly virtuous to win the favor of the Lord, and seek his protection; one thing is clear that very seldom would a mother desert her son or daughter. The children are her own blood and there is a bond which is thicker than blood; if such is the case with our human mothers, how much more would be the bond that God had bound us with himself, our creator and Lord. There is not a single person who can feel that he or she is unworthy of God’s mercy and compassion; even the most hardcore criminal and sinner could find a safe haven under the protective wings of God, because the breath that we breathe does belong to God, and he cannot forget us, even if we go far away from his loving protection. The only condition that we need to fulfill is that we seek his help and assistance, that would do, and he would do the rest.

Jesus presents himself as the good shepherd who goes after seeking the lost; as is normally the case, often times the sheep might go its own way and may lose tract of its flock, and yet the shepherd does not complain and say, let it go to hell, it was after all not my mistake! He would leave behind all the others and go after seeking the lost. There is a wonderful message in this scene of the good shepherd that Jesus presents in the gospel according to John. He is the one who leads us to fresher waters and greener pastures, for he knows better than all, what is best for me and he would do accordingly. My judgments could err, but his judgments are impeccable and they would truly lead me to life in its fullness. Today I seek the protection of God, who alone can give life in its fullness to humanity.

We have no merit to call ourselves virtuous, and if there is any trace of virtuosity in me, it is thanks to the free gift of God, which he lavished upon me gratuitously. And yet before God, we all of us can find peace and security, irrespective of how we had been relating to him. Those who refuse life are the people who refuse his free gift, and still he is not the one who would reprimand and throw us away, he would still take us close to his bosom, because life was an extension of his divine self, which he showers upon the human persons. If Jesus is the one who goes after the lost sheep, then every sinner can find a place in his heart. This is truly consoling for all of us who are trying to tie up the loose ends, so that we can find true happiness and joy all by ourselves.

Life in Abundance of Losers

Life is quite charming and enticing for the people who like to see the brighter side of things; these are the people who would look at the darkest clouds with a magnifying glass to trace thin silver lining, and that is all that is required for them to get back the zest and zeal that they require to fight back in life. There is no failure or challenge which is insurmountable to these people, because they have the inner strength to withstand all adversaries. These are not the brightest, cleverest and the smartest of people, but they know the art of living, and have learned it through the hard way, by submitting themselves to innumerable trials and errors. They have no pride to claim that they are beyond all vices; they know how vulnerable and fragile they are and yet they depend on a power which can put them at a level too difficult for the brightest, cleverest and the smartest to scale.

Let me again fall back on the wonderful miracle stories found in the New Testament. Every miracle that Jesus performs presents to us people who are weak, vulnerable, incapacitated, voiceless, unable to fight the odds by their own strength. The first step towards recovery for them comes from the fact that they do not shy away from acknowledging the situation they are in. Jesus helps them to acknowledge their vulnerability; it could be deemed as a testing on the part of the master healer, who plunges to purge their inner self, before healing them physically. What do you want? or what can I do for you? Or look at the mighty Centurion, I am not worthy to receive you, but you say only a word and my servant will be healed!

Why should the Centurion acknowledge what he is incapable of, and what was the need for him to strip himself naked in front of the wonder worker? But it is only when he stands naked could he expect the Master cover his nakedness with his own cloak. It is only the empty pitcher, which can be filled. If I do not acknowledge that I am empty, no one can fill it. I shall present one lovely poem by Rabindranath Tagore from his Song Offerings (Gitanjali, 77) : “The day is no more, the shadow is upon the earth. It is time that I go to the stream to fill my pitcher. The evening air is eager with the sad music of the water. Ah, it calls me out into the dusk. In the lonely lane there is no passer-by, the wind is up, the ripples are rampant in the river. I know not if I shall come back home. I know not whom I shall chance to meet. There at the fording in the little boat the unknown man plays upon his lute.”

Those who cannot accept what comes in life knocking at their doors, do not want to accept their vulnerabilities, their weaknesses. It requires far more guts and courage to acknowledge one’s weaknesses than to accept the strengths. That is why Jesus strengthens every person why present their vulnerability in front of him. The first lesson towards freedom, and its subsequent peace and happiness comes from accepting my own frailties. No one on earth is perfect; even the most perfect person would be quite impure in the sight of God. Thus to acknowledge one’s weaknesses is not a heroic act, but one which requires quite a deal of humility and submission. True healing can come only when I have the disposition to surrender myself fully before the all-powerful God, and prepare to follow his counsel.

Any loser who accepts and acknowledges his or her own defeat or loss immediately springs to hero or heroine. The healing that Jesus bestows is as an acknowledgement for the heroic act that they have displayed by accepting their weaker selves. Consider the story of Barthemeus, who is fully aware that he lacked sight and longed to see. ‘That I may see’, he cries out to the Lord, and he restores sight to him. The woman who had been suffering from haemorrhage for twelve years knows that only Jesus could restore her health, because she is aware that that was her real self, which had been haunting her for all these years. If I want to taste life and be enveloped by the aroma it emanates, all that I need to do is place myself before the Lord and accept my vulnerabilities, so that he could touch and heal me; why a word from his mouth may be enough to bring wholeness to me!

God of the Fighters

St John presents God as the God of the living in his gospel of Jesus Christ; he is not the God of the dead, but of the living. God cannot belong to the realm of the dead, those who have crossed the threshold of life and have passed into the netherworld. God by his very nature is living, and his life gives life to the world. Therefore we cannot think of God as anyone different from the living. No wonder then that St Peter in his famous declaration of his faith to his Master, calls him as the “Son of the living God”. What a wonderful title for Jesus, whose life was characterized by life, life in its fullness. He had life overflowing in him, and all those who were living life half-heartedly, began to brim with the fullness of life, which made his enemies shudder.

God takes the side of those who dare to take life as it came, and not those who ran away from it. God invites the daring to fight, even with him, and he is sure not to impose his power and might on the weak creatures, but gives due weightage to the fight. The Old Testament presents such a beautiful picture of Abram fighting with God, and is also rewarded for his boldness to wrestle with the Mighty God. Abram becomes Abraham, and he gets a new identity, after winning over God for his side, and I tend to believe God would have been delighted to “fight” with his servant Abram, very much like bitches love to play with their puppies, and they have so much of fun in the play. God invites his children to even fight with him, so that they might grow from strength to strength.

The Bhagavad Gita too presents such a God who beckons his disciple to go fighting, and not to shy away from his responsibility. Arjuna refuses to fight the battle, resolving to retreat, because it would be dishonor to fight with one’s own kinsmen. It is easy to give up at the thick of the battle, and it takes a lot of guts to go forward, unaware what fate awaited him. Arjuna might have also been afraid of the consequences; what if he were to lose the battle? It takes the whole of the Bhagavad Gita for Lord Krishna to instruct Arjuna, so that he might go forward to fight, come what may. He was not to think about the fruits of his labor, but only do his duty. That is why at the end, Arjuna surrenders to the Divine Lord, saying ‘karishye vachanam tava’ (I have resolved to do your will). That is when the actual battle is won.

The world unfortunately has more losers and retreaters than fighters; there are too many fears stopping even those who have the strength to fight the battle. There are bad companions who counsel in wicked ways, and there are circumstances which puts off even the valiant soldiers. Life’s battle does not come with too many risks; there are difficult times and hardships, but they can never destroy a person; what can really destroy a person is his or her unwillingness to take the fight and do it to the best of his/her ability. Those who wish to run away from the battle are the losers in all the cases. For the brave, no army is too large to win; it is the inner battle that one has to win before winning the physical war. This is the wonderful lesson that many of the biblical stories present to us.

Let me end with yet another beautiful story from the Bible, and this time a boy dares to fight with a monster, and defeat him. No one can take David, the shepherd boy, when he approaches Saul to fight against the monstrous Philistian’s Goliath. The boy is made a laughing stock, which the boy has the heart of steel, and he knows for sure to defeat this monster, what he needed was not physical prowess, but spiritual strength, and the boy had in abundance. And we are amazed at the way the boy swings the catapult and drowns the giant. No one can believe that was possible for a boy who knew only to tend his sheep, but David is a warrior who won the battle of the heart before defeating his enemies, and he invites today every one of us to our battles, here and now!

Pilgrimage of Life

Traditionally for centuries, human life has been compared to a pilgrimage, a journey in solitude! It was a spiritual journey, on the way to the inner self, as it were. During the Middle Ages, such a journey was undertaken with great care and diligence; it was not a matter people could play with. John Bunyan, who wrote the classic The Pilgrim’s Progress had presented such a noble picture of the journey to the center of one’s own self, and many a holy men and women had traced his path in order to attain self-fulfillment, or to put in a Christian terminology, their own salvation. The word pilgrimage carries the spiritual tone implied in the act of journeying in spirit. If life is a pilgrimage, then we should know where we are heading to, our point of arrival.

It has been said several times by holy people that what is most important in the pilgrimage is not so much the arrival at the point of destination, but the journey itself. There might be only a handful of men and women, who might reach the destination, but “salvation” is in undertaking the journey and committing oneself to walk towards the destination with all sincerity. Life would present several sub-ways and glamorous pathways as we proceed on the journey, and there might be people whom we would meet on the way, and they might request our company. But if we keep obliging all the people we meet on the way, it could be possible that we might ‘miss the bus’, and land up in some other place. Saying no to what comes on the way is important in any journey.

It is not that all that we come across during the course of this journey is bad or evil; there are a lot of people who reach out to us with all sincerity and honesty, with the genuine sense of helping us out when we struggle, and we cannot afford to suspect their intentions. But anything which may distance us from the path that we have chosen voluntarily should be avoided, if we want to be faithful to our journey. Learning to say “no” with a smile is an art that we all need to learn early in life, in order to find fulfillment and satisfaction. If there are people who are easily pulled and pushed by the different pressures on life’s journey, might land up desolate and alone, and there might be no one at times to give them the solace and comfort that they might have been frantically seeking.

This is a pilgrimage with no point of return; we cannot change our mind midway. It is a deliberate decision that we take that we would walk all the way, without turning back. And probably that is what Jesus said to his disciple that anyone who puts his hand on the plough and looks back is not fit for the kingdom of Heaven. Unfortunately it is not as easy as said; fragile and vulnerable as we are, trials and tribulations are sure to come our way and we might be tempted to turn back and run towards the familiar grounds; who wants to face the unfamiliar and harsh realities of life. But considering a return to the point from where we had begun our journey is equal to accepting defeat, and in life one can hardly walk backwards; one can either walk forward or lie down eternally on the path. It is for us to decide if we want to forge ahead or accept defeat and lie on the ground.

The eyes of the pilgrim are fixed on the destination, and there is nothing which can distract his eyes from the point, and as he takes every step, he is happy that he had walked such a long distance, and therefore the distance ahead does not come as a threat to him. When one of the great men who had reached the peaks of an enormously high mountain with just one foot, the would could not believe its eyes. They rushed to him and asked him how he managed with just a single foot to scale the entire altitude of the mountain, and his simple answer was, “I hopped just one step at a time!” What a wonderful answer; we need not worry about the hundreds of kilometers that we need to travel before reaching a point of rest, all that we need to do is to take just one step at a time, and sooner or later we might discover that we are not far from the destination!

In quest of life in its fullness - Introduction

It is hard for me to explain what St John meant by the phrase “life in its fullness”, but I know one thing for sure that Jesus came as the epitome, the summum bonum of life with all its myriad hues and colors. We receive the fullness of life only from and through him. This is one fact that has been sustaining the lives of several millions of men and women down the centuries. There were people who were determined to consider their lives as worthless before the one who would give them several times more than what they had given up for his sake. They were sure to receive life in its abundance, and that hope kept growing in their hearts until they were ablaze with love for the Lord.

Every human soul is made of the same stuff as the one which Jesus possessed while on earth. Without taking recourse to over spiritualization, we could safely say that every person on earth is created to reach this fullness of life, and if there is any obstacle coming on the way, we have the duty and responsibility to remove it, so that we are not deprived of tasting what life has to offer to us. Eternity in one sense refers to tasting the fullness of life as God keeps pouring out to each one of us. There is no one who is exempted from this invitation, though there would be many who would pretend as if they had not received the invitation. These are the people who are in need of finding the wellsprings of life and labor to walk towards it.

If everyone is engaged in a quest to taste the fullness of life, there are very few who find the wellsprings; and very few who return to their own people to tell them what the wellsprings had done in their lives; anyone who drinks of the water of life cannot remain the same. There is a magical quality attributed to the waters flowing from these eternal wellsprings, and very few would dare to approach the springs and drink from it. For many the wellsprings may be far too intimidating, and we would find any number of excuse to avoid going in search of it. It is cozy and comfortable to remain in the land of oblivion, as in the case of the Lotus Eaters, but it would take a lot of guts and courage to walk in search of waters, though we have no road map to find it.

There are more and more people who are getting frustrated in life and find life is not worth living, and every hour may become for them eternity of agony stretched for ever. They would love to forget the real world and might wish to enter into a world of oblivion, where they would not be responsible for their actions, and they might do anything and even justify their actions. The rate of suicide in the world is far more than many past years put together. We cannot say that globalization and the market economy that we experience these days were responsible for the kind of situation we have landed up in the world. It is also obvious that none of seem to have the solutions to many of the problems the world is reeling under the weight of!

It does not require great intellect or holiness to understand that the way to face life with all the challenges, struggles, fears and anxieties in life; there are more and more people who are looking for answers to questions which do not exist in reality; they have created virtual world, and are busy measuring its width, height and breath… It might take just a child to tell them that they are living in a world quite different from ours. What I hope to present in the next few blogs are some of the areas that we need to explore before we find the wellsprings of life, where alone we can find waters, which can quench our thirst for life, and it is only when we have tasted this water that we would stop looking for wells, which cannot quench our thirst and yet the world may present them as the most viable alternatives. Here we take the first step, in understanding that we need water to drink!

The Wooden Cross

The Cross that Jesus carried to Calvary and died on, has become the symbol of Christianity, and today it is also the symbol of triumph, victory over death. The two piece wooden frame which had been looked down upon with so much of contempt has suddenly become so very different, thanks to Jesus. What did Jesus do to the wooden frame to transform it altogether? Has anything changed in the wooden frame that made it appear very different from what it was before it was placed on the broken shoulders of Jesus? Another associated question that we could ask is: has something happened to the wood or to Jesus, or to us who look at with different eyes and perspectives today?

I would believe that the wooden frame remained exactly the same, as it had been for all centuries, and Jesus would not have desired to give a new dimension to the commonplace wood either. Looking at Jesus as a human person, going forward to embrace the rough and hard cross makes him truly the Savior and Lord. As the son of a carpenter, Jesus would have known for sure all about the wooden frame, of what tree it is, the height and the weight. As he stretches out his hand to draw it close to his shoulders, he recognizes an unknown familiarity with the wood, a familiarity which had taken him to the Garden of Eden peopled with trees of all sorts, and the special tree of knowledge which stood in the middle.

What is this familiarity between Jesus and the wooden cross? We all know that it is through the cross that Jesus would save the world. Every Jew and Roman would dread the very word, the Cross! How did the cross become so easy for Jesus to accept, especially knowing well that he would be subjected to the death of a hardcore criminal? Was there some magic hidden behind the wood which the Jewish religious leaders failed to take cognizant of? There is no hesitation on the part of Jesus, he seem to be longing to embrace it. The cross is sanctified by the touch of the master craftsman, who in his lifetime might have made several crosses, but this time however not made with a chisel, but with his body and blood.

The wooden frame which had taken years to harden and toughen, seeing several winters and summers is now ready to give space to the God of creation to lay down his head. The tree would have never thought it would receive such a honor. As the creation of the creator, it is only too happy to allow the Lord to sanctify its fibers. The seasoned wood is prepared to present to the Lord its best qualities, even as the hard hearted soldiers pierce the hands and feet of the Master with the wood. The juice of the wood which had preserved a part of it all these years, today mingle with the blood of the Savior, to ease his pain as he goes through untold pain and agony.

If only I were a lifeless wooden frame, it would have been my great honor and privilege to behold the Lord and receive his touch, which alone is enough to transform my life. The lady suffering from hemorrhage received instant healing when she dared to touch the fringe of his garment, and how much more would it be a wonderful experience for me, when the Lord would rest on my frail frame! This is the only thing that any tree can long for! The lifeless tree would then be honored to behold the Savior rather than the more privileged people who stood at the foot of the Cross!

Ecce Homo

Pilate in the gospels is portrayed as heartless and opportunist who did not mind saving his own skin at the expense of letting an innocent man die on the cross. But it would be injustice if we branded him heartless, just because he understood Jesus was innocent, and it may be hard for us to fathom the inner conflict he was going through to the extent he wanted to escape from condemning Jesus to death. His washing the hands as a mark of disowning the guilt of spilling innocent blood speaks volumes about the man that Pilate was.

But I would like to see in the man, who found Jesus as an excellent pawn to settle scores with Caesar and with Jesus, another quality which stands out in the episode of Jesus’ condemnation. The governor was able to see in Jesus, the perfect image of humanity. His pithy words to describe Jesus as “homo” (man in Latin) have opened up several layers of interpretation. The Son of God and Son of Man now stands before Pilate and the Roman soldiers as a man with no additional attributes, and Jesus is quite comfortable with the situation.

Ecce Homo – behold the man! Every person born in the world is an incomplete product of God’s creativity. There is no one who is the fullness of humanity, endowed and lavished upon him/her. Jesus is an exception. In him we see all the human aspirations finding fulfillment. We try our best to move towards the fulfillment, but without success, to be human, wholly and utterly, is no mean thing, this may be the hardest thing for us, to strip ourselves naked and find ourselves enrobed with the clouds and limitless oceans. That is the marvel of being truly human, and who else could be the perfect human person, but Jesus.

Jesus does not seem to dislike his identity as a man to the least. If he were in a lighter mood, he might have asked Pilate, how he managed to recognize him. The perfect man, who had come to throw the mantle of honor and majesty on the fallen humanity is silently acknowledging his role as the perfect man, and Pilate was just presenting this man to us to emulate, when he said, Ecce Homo. I look at the man with a crown of thorns and a purple robe. This is the man who resembles the first of God’s creation, Adam; it is in him that I can find my perfect resemblance, image and likeness of God.

As I behold the ‘new’ king, who is bleeding, and bearing the violence the world had inflicted on him, and look at my body, which has the potentiality to bear his own likeness. And still how far am I from his nature and intent? Today I too need to be scourged and bear the crown of thorns on my head, and the purple robe on my bleeding body, to bear the likeness of the ‘man’ who is prepared to bridge the gap between the heaven and the earth. Here is an invitation for me to become truly human, for that is where I can encounter my true identity, with the God who had become a man like me!

Keeping Awake

Jesus’ earnest appeal to his beloved disciples to “Remain here and keep watch with me” (Mt 26:38/41) fell on deaf ears. They were perhaps too exhausted, not only physically but also psychologically, especially after the Last Supper, where Jesus foretold the fate that awaited him. I leave it to biblical scholars to provide an exegesis of the text, but I found the quoted words have a lot to whisper in my ears, even after two centuries. I would like to paraphrase the words of Jesus as “keep awake with me”; in fact, that is precisely the meaning of the quoted phrase. Jesus invited his disciples, who were too exhausted to keep awake.

How hard and challenging is it to keep awake, especially when we know that everyone else is fast asleep; it is hard to keep awake when the body is too frail and weak (the flesh is weak, to quote Jesus, Mt 26:41), and is too exhausted. It is a challenge to keep awake when we find no ray of hope in the distant future. Jesus however seems to be pleading with the disciples precisely because he needed them close to him, when he himself was going through excruciating pain and agony in the garden. The disciples perhaps could not understand what their master was going through and could have assessed the situation too lightly.

Looking at the words of Jesus from a psychological point of view, it is so comfortable to fall asleep, so that we need not face the harsh reality. The ostrich is said to sink its head inside a mound of sand and imagine the whole world to be in dark. We would like to live in our worlds of make belief, where everything revolves round our own interests, needs and demands. The harsh reality that we may have to witness could be something too cruel and harsh for me to witness, and therefore there is a lot more consolation in either closing our eyes, or at least pretending to be fully in sleep.

Jesus does not mind doing the unpleasant job, even if others might laugh at him. Perhaps on other occasions, the disciples managed to keep awake, but now Jesus finds them drawn by the magic spell of the Lotus Eaters. It is possible that Jesus invites the disciples to keep their eyes open and recognize what was happening in front of their very eyes. It may appear that the disciples were refrained from recognizing Jesus as the weak and frail human person, their eyes as if blinded, because they could not see the Messiah sweating blood.

To be awake, psychologically, is a big challenge today. We live in a world where to be awake is to invite trouble, because the world would want everyone to be asleep, or at least pretend to be asleep, so that they do not see, hear, feel, and touch the reality looming before them. To be insensitive to human pain, suffering and misery is considered a virtue, lest we be drawn into an endless questioning and challenging the worldly forces. It is here that we hear the call of Jesus to keep awake with him!

Love and Service

There is an inextricable relationship between love and service, each one mutually supporting the other. Only love can give birth to genuine service, and therefore genuine service to humanity at large is nothing but an embodiment of true love. Service sans love is a mere selfish motive, not targeting at the wellbeing of the other, but oneself. Love and service are oriented towards enriching the other, even at the expense of causing damage and decay to oneself. This is so beautifully exemplified in the celebration of Maundy Thursday.

Tony D’Mello in his collection of anecdotes entitled, The Prayer of the Frog (Vol. 1) narrates this moving illustration. There is this soldier who is pleading with his boss, so that he could return to the battlefront to look for his friend. The boss assures that the friend might have been dead by now, and that the soldier should not risk his life. The soldier goes all the same, and returns after an hour mortally wounded, and carrying the corpse of his friend on his shoulder. The angry boss tells him, I had told you he was dead; was it all worth going out there to bring a corpse? The soldier replied, Oh, it was, Sir! When I got to him, he was alive. And he said to me before dying, Jack, I was sure you would come!

Where there is true love, we don’t mind taking any amount of trouble, risk. The wellbeing of the self is only secondary before that of the other. It is not easy to suffer for the one we love, but ultimately it is this which brings us true happiness. Look at the little five year old Johny who is informed that he has to give blood for his little sister. He is troubled at first and agrees. The next day when the transfusion is done, Johnny looks at his father with tears in his eyes and tells him, Daddy, tell me when I should die! Maybe for youngsters it comes so naturally. Small kids may go through any amount of pain and suffering to release a dog or a cat.

We learn best by seeing, not merely by hearing. That is the reason why Jesus demonstrates what service is all about. It is to climb down from our pedestals, and don the attire of the servant, and kneel down to wash the feet of those of our neighbors, whom we despise and neglect. This is no easy test. This in fact is the perfect test of all of his disciples – washing the feet is merely a symbol, what is more important is to place ourselves at the bottom of the ladder and accept it joyfully to serve those above us. Jesus is setting a model for us all.

Maundy Thursday recalls the sacrificing love of the Lord, who is prepared to lay down his life, so that humanity may have life in its fullness. Life does not come by itself. It has to be parted, shared and received. The example of the grain of wheat which can have life only when it dies, is so very applicable to Jesus and that is what he is inviting us to ‘do this in memory of me’ – to break ourselves and to shed our blood so that we may share in his new life!

Angel of Darkness

At the side of our main gate, I noticed a group of people crowding and watching something. Next to them stood a Matador vehicle, and it did not take me long to understand that someone had died in the family – the Muslim family which had made the footpath just at the side of our gate for the past 25 years or more. Death, the familiar guest at all families, does not spare any one, high or low, rich or poor, men or women. But this is perhaps the most uninvited guest we have ever known on earth; there is hardly anyone we have known, who willingly and joyfully welcomes Death. This is the season of Lent, and so it is appropriate to think about death, not only as Jesus triumphing over death, but how we carry our death in our bodies and minds. In fact, a serious contemplation on our deaths can serve to energise us to live more fully and joyfully.

Tony D’Mello in his famous book, Sadhana, a way to God, presents to us a meditation on our own death bodies. See and smell it, as it decays, infested with worms, and becomes earth. This is what we all are; perishable… we carry on our bodies the label “Perishable”, but unfortunately very few behave as if we are perishable; we are happy to think that we will live forever, and there will be no end to our life on earth. If only we consider our life on earth with a limited time and space continuum, then we will spend most of our energy to make the best use of the time to be happy and leave joyful memories. In such cases, death cannot come as a threat, but as a welcome guest, who comes to take us to give wage for our labor; is that not something that we should be happy and proud about?

We are drowned in sorrow and agony when someone dear to us depart this earth, and sometimes it is hard to accept this reality; such was the case with my sister, when her husband died all too suddenly, unannounced, and at a moment when she wanted him more. Her life was devastated when she knew that she has to fight with life (with the additional burden of carrying cancer in her body) all alone, helping her daughter find fulfillment in life. My brother in law was not the only breadwinner, because my sister was able to earn a living as a teacher, but what was more important for my sister was that her husband had turned a new leaf and was going to care for her. Death came one fine morning and took him all too soon, and neither she nor her daughter, nor any of our family members were ever prepared for it.

It may be easy to preach about death, and how we should welcome it with outstretched arms; but it is a different kind of reality when it does approach us. When we hear about the brutal killing of several men and women, or the accidents and mishaps which kills hundreds of people each day, we are not so much moved; but when it happens to one of our familiar persons, we are shaken, and find it hard to accept. Unfortunately no one teaches us the secret of embracing death with open arms, and except for a few brave sages and saintly persons, all of us find it a challenge to think about death, especially as it approaches us gingerly. This is one reality that perhaps the human race will never be able to undo, just as we have very little control over births. We are just pawns in the hands of creation and nature.

We are told that in death we enter into a different kind of reality, which cannot be compared with the earthly reality. The Bhagavad Gita talks about the nature of the soul in Chapter 2, when it leaves the perishable body, because it is something that knows no end. No one who has experienced it has ever returned to tell us how it is to face death; but one thing is for sure, whether we fear or not, whether we are happy or not, death will come to us at its own time and lead us home. We may say a thousand things in philosophical terms to explain how wonderful it is to welcome death, but it is a different reality in concrete, especially when the human bondage is thicker than blood. We look at the death of Jesus as a different kind of reality, where he subdues death and reigns victorious, and when we die, we too share in his glory, which is a new kind of identity and home address that we all can be truly proud of.

Burying worries

One of the most painful challenges we face in life is tackling nagging worries and anxieties. It is next to impossible to overcome them altogether, unless we have full control over them, and it is an art to take full control of what makes us worried and anxious. One might think it is easier said than done, because there is hardly any soul on earth who does not go through anxious moments and come in contact with worries. No doubt, when they are not checked in time, they could lead to depression, and that could turn out to be fatal if it becomes chronic. I am no psychologist or psychiatrist to analyse the different reasons responsible for excessive worries and anxieties, but I would like to look at them from psycho-spiritual point of view. I might sound a bit too spiritual when I begin to discuss what Jesus has to say about worries and anxieties, but the point is Jesus had a remedy for this malady which haunts several men and women of our age.

Let us turn to the Holy Bible to see what Jesus says about these unfriendly allies to human beings. “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat [or drink], or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they?” (Mt 6:25-26) … “Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil” (Mt 6:34). Jesus is addressing the problem squarely, and is it not heartening to realize that two thousand years ago, Jesus had known what our generation may be going through in an acute way! And what he tells us may not sound too profound, but if we give a serious thought to his words, we will realize that he has a serious point to make.

Jesus no doubt is making this part of the discourse in the context of dependence on God, or a superior being, if one feels the word God too intimidating. It does not require of me to tell that every human person is limited, and we have no other option than to depend on others to fulfill most of our needs and wants. Fortunately, the society we live in fulfill these needs, and there are certain other needs which we draw from our inner self. There are a few wants where we cannot look up to human persons; for instance a child who is too frightened of darkness may cling on to its mother, but when we grow into adulthood, we have to device certain mechanism to handle fear by ourselves, and in this case, we may believe and call upon God to stand close by, so that we would not experience fright. Similarly there are areas which are beyond the reach of human persons, and they are the ones where we need to look up to God for assistance.

Let me now explain the same concept from the perspective of the twentieth century ‘existentialist philosophy’. Here in this category we may recall the contributions of Jean Paul Sartre, Nietche, Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, and others. Confronted with human tragedies and predicaments, these men and women tried to find amicable ways of handling them, but not resting their faith on religious believes, but on reason and logic. Sartre might tell those who are excessively worried that they might find relief from them, only when they dare to take a leap into the unknown, and they put it figuratively as jumping into the everlasting deep hole. Is it too frightening? They are just repeating what Jesus has told the people, though here the terminology is somewhat philosophical, but the idea remains the same. Unless we are ready to let things go out of our control, we might still be tied to them.

Let me present an image for dependence on the superior power, or on God; to let things go out of our hands might sound too frightening, but it is only when we do it, can we find life bearable and meaningful. One may find safe and secure when his boat is fastened to the shore, and to let the rope go and let the boat move forward is too frightening, and anything could happen when the boat is in the middle of the river, but if one does not want to take the risk of letting things go, one might be stuck to where one was. To reach the other shore, we have to let the rope go free, and allow the boat to face the currents of the river and find its own pace and route to reach the other shore. Those who are worried too much are seeing the risks and dangers involved rather than the possibility of reaching the other shore by letting the rope go free. We shall come back to the topic again, to explain the art of letting things go.

Sarayu said it

Are you wondering who this Sarayu is? If you think that this should be a God-forsaken person, then you may have to turn the pages of The Shack : Where tragedy confronts eternity, a novel by William P. Young. The #1 New York Times Bestseller had been quite popular with religious men and women and some months ago one of our great men had recommended this novel as a worthy Christmas gift to friends and well-wishers. Here in this novel, Sarayu is one of the three prominent characters, who confronts Mackenzie, the protagonist, who after confronting one of the worst tragedies of life, the loss of his favorite daughter Missy, confronts eternity in the three persons of the Holy Trinity. I would not venture to summarise the story in a few lines and do injustice to the narrative, which resembles in more than one sense the great classic, of John Bunyan, Pilgrim’s Progress.

It is long since I had discontinued the blog and I don’t even remember when I had blogged last, and quite a few friends had reminded me why I had not turned to blogs… was I running short of ideas? Or was I finding it hard to turn to the laptop at the end of the day to pour out the daily collection, before knocking the bed? It would be quite a futile job for me to find valid reasons for not blogging all these days, and I could give more than a dozen reasons why I should have. Be that as it may, the effect of turning the blogging may be one of the wonder works of Sarayu, the third person of the Holy Trinity, attributed to the Holy Spirit. Is she my latest lady love? For those who are scratching their heads, as to why I suddenly attribute feminine qualities to the Spirit, it is because of the Hebrew tradition, where the spirit is presented as the feminine aspects of God.

It is hard to say when the Spirit strikes us; I am aware for many a men, it is only the ‘s’pirit which would strike and knock them down at the end of the day, and seldom could they think of the Spirit to find them in their normal selves. And I am not in a place to say why I suddenly felt like turning back to blogging; there are several things in life, which are beyond all explanation, just like why we fall in love with certain persons and not some others (may be more beautiful and more qualified). That is where life finds meaning and fulfillment. But then let me turn my attention for a while to the novel, which let me caution, is not an easy reading, because of the fact that more than three fourth of the novel deal with Mack’s encounter with the Holy Trinity at the “shack”; this is what we could call Christian theology in a lay person’s perspective, and at times one might struggle to grasp what Young tries to articulate.

Life is quite complicated, and any attempt to unravel the mysteries of life might only lead to chaos and more complication. Young tries to articulate with genuine Christian faith, the reasons why there is evil in the world, and why God permits evil men and women thrive; these are the questions that each and every generation has been confronting, in their own way and in their own pace; not all of them had found satisfactory answers, but they were not altogether disappointed not finding answers to their questions, because what mattered in the process is not so much the destination, but the journey. That is why life on earth is often compared to a journey, and for religious Hindus, life is a pilgrimage (did not Bunyan referred to himself as a Pilgrim, and so did Ignatius of Loyola in the early 16th century called himself a pilgrim!), and everything that may take place during the journey is significant, though we may not heed to their importance but may have realize on hind sight that they had carried important signposts for our going ahead in life.

Young had tried to break the traditional understanding of God the Father, by placing before Mack, God the Papa in a feminine figure, and no wonder there is a preponderance of the feminine throughout the novel, and that is one of the reasons why Mack is all too full when he returns home from his weekend encounter with the sacred. What has been specially interesting for me, was the role of the eight-year old Missy, who from the start has such a lovely heart and demeanor that anyone would love her. There is a more than enough dosage of fantasy, with all the elements of the human world attributed to the divine; imagine the Holy Trinity having a hearty meal, sipping coffee; or just imagine Jesus in jeans and a T-shirt… or Papa listening to modern pop songs on her iPod… Young had presented the Trinity in a modern setup and that makes it all the more enjoyable reading. Now at least I know Sarayu could prick my mind anytime to turn to her, even if that means pouring myself out in the blogs!

Tit for Tat

There are some men and women who still believe in tit for tat; an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, even though they know only too well that Jesus taught them a formula different from this one. Leave alone following the new formula of Jesus, that they should give even the garments to the one who likes to take the shawl, these people know how to strip people of the little dignity and honor they have, and love to place them on a pedestal stark naked, and call all the people around and declare that their opponents are stark naked. Such is the kind of thing that one would hate to come across, but when such a thing happens one is helpless.

The man had asked for a genuine feedback about him and his operations in public, and we took it seriously and opened our hearts to tell him how we feel about him, some of his bias and prejudices, some of his lopsided orientations, and least did we realize that he was going to fire us back for airing our opinions about him in public. No wonder, he made it a point to justify our feedback and the so-called remarks, and showed that he was more innocent than innocence itself. His duty and responsibility of asking for a feedback from the people who worked with him in decision making process is done, and now he is scot free to pounce on others.

He had acknowledged a day before that he had inherited a tendency to be judgmental from his cultural background, and was recognizing this trait in him in the recent years; but a day after again he came across vociferously to brand and judge me for what he does not have sufficient proof and evidence. I would not claim that I was altogether innocent, but when he said that I was suffering from “compulsiveness” to certain human error, I was wondering if he realized what he was telling about me in public. It is not that I was overly concerned about my image in public, but I realized he wanted to “humiliate” me in public and had pleasure out of it.

Just because you have learned a couple of words from psychology and psychiatry, you are not permitted to brand people with such labels, and I had heard him brand so many of fairly innocent men, and was feeling sad for it. At one or two occasions I had stood up and had cautioned him from branding others, especially on the basis of the personal prejudice he might have had with them. After our feedback on him, I thought he would begin to recognize the log lying in his eye, and instead he had gone to tell me to remove the spec from my eye. I did feel bad about this calumny, but was helpless; I remained silent, in order not to embarrass other companions.

I had felt that this gentleman is known for vindictiveness; if anyone stood against him, he would not hesitate to destroy their dignity and honor, and some of my close friends had narrated to me how he was trying to do that with them, and of late, I had tried to tell him directly how I felt in the past months about him, and how he was dealing with me. He would not accept many of the factual presentations and observations of mine, and instead he would jump to justify his reactions and judgments. I feel sad for him, because he had failed to read the Gospel he always swears by, and if only he could open his eyes, he would realize what the Gospel was calling him to. That is when his salvation may dawn.

Trifling with the Third (SS 09)

Calvary is almost reached, but there is no more energy left in the body, and as I look at your frail body limping step by step with the burden of the cross, you look at your final destination : the hillock which will immortalize you for all generations to come! But when you fall to the ground for the third time, I know you are at the fag end of your journey, and you can stretch it no longer! The good news is that Calvary is just a few feet away, but the bad news is that you may make it only with great difficulty! Not all soldiers are harsh and cruel to you; maybe there was one soldier, who had a little sympathy for you, and he helps you rise up from the ground, and gives his hand to move forward! Not everyone on earth is bad, I know! Thanks to these sympathetic men and women, we still experience humane treatment.

Most often I get annoyed with people who cannot stop their falls; they keep falling endlessly, until there is no more energy left in their bodies. And yet I cannot stop cursing and shouting at them, because I know if only they put a little more effort, they could have prevented the fall, but your third fall demonstrates before my very eyes that even when the spirit is strong, the flesh may still be weak, and sometimes too weak to with-hold! How beautifully the Savior had accepted his third fall; he knows that it is the reign of darkness, and he had nothing more to do than submit to the whims and fancies of the king of darkness. Helplessness and weakness have crippled him to this state!

When I fall on life’s journey again and again, quite often without myself wanting them, I feel terribly depressive and annoying! I cannot understand my own inclinations and vile attractions, some of which seem to have grown as I grew into adulthood! I cannot blame anyone for the state I am in, and I have to accept all that I am and all that I have, wholly and completely, without any ifs and buts. Then actual life is not as simple as that! I cannot complete even a single paragraph of writing without using ifs and buts, conditions have become my favorite, not only in the blogs, but also in life, and I live thanks to the ifs and buts!

I cannot imagine the Savior using ifs and buts, not only in his speech, but also in his life; if that were the case, then my fate would have been quite different. How do I treat a person who has ran out of all his/her resources, and stands before me seeking shelter and security, be it moral, social or spiritual! It may not be easy to seek such a person with a warm smile, and a bouquet, but then what would be the plight of this person if I were to throw him out of my household? Could I ever be so very hard-hearted as to refuse the little what I can possibly give? The earth has been so very kind and generous to receive the Son of Man with her outstretched arms! Would I do the same with the people who come me for help?

There is an innate tendency in me to keep fighting against all odds, even when I know for sure that I am fighting a losing battle; quite often I tell myself that what matters is not so much the success or failure in such a battle, but the fact that I participate in it whole heartedly, that is what really matters. If that be the case, then it would be rather easy to give up when all my resources run dry; but how could I handle the false pride and arrogance which may not permit me to give up fighting, and accept defeat, knowing well I had done my best to fight against the external forces working against me. I realize that embracing defeat in life does not necessarily mean I accept failure and defeat!

After every fall the weight of the cross seems to be increasing manifold, and the weight of the wooden frame seem to be pressing upon him. The will power in him is strong still, and that is the reason why he does not give it up; he puts his foot forward and knows for sure that he may stumble and fall, together with the cross. The determination and the will power that he had made him complete his journey, though with three falls! For a man whose body has been torn apart by the flagellations and crown of thorns, who had been whipped throughout the journey, the scorching sun added insult to injury, and he would still accept it, because it is through this kind of falls and rises that he is to enter into his glory!

I am too frightened of placing myself in your position and imagining the way of the Cross; the very thought of it makes me sweat. But you had warned me much in advance that unless I carry my cross and follow you, I cannot enter into the kingdom of heaven! Even after your third fall, you had the determination to rise up and continue your journey, though with much pain and agony. Often after my fall, I have no strength and energy left in me to rise up and walk further; I wish to give up hope and surrender defeat, but your demonstration of so much of will power pushes me to fix my eyes onto Calvary and keep moving! I remember your words, anyone who has put his hands on the plow and looks back is not worthy of the kingdom! How true you are!

Moaning with the Moaners (SS 08)

There is no greater consolation to a person going through untold suffering and pain than to have people around him, joining their hearts with his/her suffering. The women of Jerusalem should have been simple people, who might have been either cured of their illnesses by Jesus, or fed by his munificence some months ago. Today they had decided to accompany him on the way to Calvary as a mark of their gratitude to him, for what they had received from him! They have nothing to offer to reduce his pain; even as they stood in the midst of madding crowds before Pilot, they had no voice to say that the man was innocent, and so as reparation for their cowardice, they have decided to accompany him all the way to Calvary!

I feel these women were ordinary persons, who found great consolation listening to Jesus, opening their hearts to a new vision of reality, of life in general; they had been touched not only by what he said, but also by what he was! There was a spiritual glow in him which attracted them to him, even without their knowing. They were able to recognize the Savior in him, who had all the medicine they needed to be healed of all their ailments! By walking with him on this road full of thorns and stone chips, they have no great expectation! All they desire is to let their master know that they were by his side. Their silent presence with him is all that they could offer to him here and now!

In the midst of the crowds who were jeering at him, cursed him endlessly, accused him of everything under the sun, to have a handful of people who sympathized with him, brought so much of consolation to the Master! He might have been thinking to himself – All is not lost! These women have not retained their hard hearts, which they did possess before they encountered him; their hearts have turned from stones to flesh, and that is what makes so much of difference now! While all the other bystanders and mocking crowds refused to let their hearts be transformed into flesh by the life-giving words of Christ, these women had the courage to let him transform them, and today they are here to bear witness to the transformation he had brought in their lives.

There is pathos in their hearts, and in full measure; they are unable to control it! Their hearts are so supple to human suffering, and they would shed tears for any person who is unjustly punished. And the master looks at them tenderly, and even at this moment, he is concerned that these women turn their attention on their family! How hard is it for me to divert the excessive attention I receive to some other deserving persons around me! I want all the attention from all corners, even if it is just a passing flu or cold, and wish everyone to nurse me, cajole me! Here is the master who does not wish to retain the attention these women offered, instead he turns them to more pressing needs and persons. He however does not disregard their gesture of love and concern, but only wishes them to utilize it for greater cause.

It is not easy for me to sympathize with people who are very different from me, who hold views and notions very different from mine; often instead of sympathizing with them in their pain, I feel happy and delighted to see them suffer! I feel that they deserved the suffering and punishment for what they had been doing, scheming, and plotting! I realize that I cannot sympathize with a person who has not touched me in some way or other! I place a series of conditions before I extend hands of support and sympathy to persons, and that is what makes me so very different from the women of Jerusalem and their master! The women had no conditions to express their sympathy towards Jesus, and that made them to be genuine in their expression of this sympathy.

Often I feel that my heart is like a stone, impossible to penetrate, and it is only the Lord of heaven and earth who can transform it into a heart of flesh, which would moan with moaners, rejoice with the happy, and shed tears for the suffering! These women are all endowed with hearts of flesh, and I am praying for this gift, as I contemplate the meeting of Jesus with the women of Jerusalem. If only I can feel the pain and agony of the hundreds of people who go through unending suffering day after day, and yet without cursing or blaming anybody! I think of the millions of victims of violence and injustice, those pawns in the hands of the mighty and powerful, who can play with the lives of hundreds of poor at will! Do I have a heart with cries for them, which is prepared to walk the path of Calvary to show my solidarity with them?

I see the fruit of the multiplication effect of your loaves; you have multiplied your tender heart and have implanted it into all the people who were prepared to be a little more humane and godly! How these hearts of flesh vibrated with each other? There was perfect synchronization of your heart with those of these women, and I know that these women are prepared to shed their precious tears for anyone who might go through unjust punishment, who is a victim of the structures we have created for our comfort zones! Unless I have a heart of flesh, it would be impossible for me to be sympathetic, leave alone be empathetic! I would like you to gaze at me, and let your presence transform my heart, so that I can join these women and walk with you all the way to Calvary!

Securing a Second Chance (SS 07)

Jesus himself might not have thought that he might have to fall to the ground a second time, not to mention that there would be another fall awaiting him. But he does not curse the whole world, when he is pressed down by the cross, and falls flat on the ground! He would not have liked to fall, but he is as powerless and helpless as any person drained of his energy would feel. But that is the fall that he did not expect, and even as he struggles to rise from the ground, there is very little help given him; there is no helping hand, no sign of sympathy for him, but only jeers and a shower of abuses! The second fall makes his body a little weaker, but his spirit grows strong.

When the Savior had fallen on to the ground, he did not show any sign of stubbornness or arrogance, which said that he was not going to fall with the weight of the world’s sins again! In fact, the reverse may be true; he did not mind falling any number of time to let the world know that he was ready to accept them, with all their abuses and charges. He did not even once say, this is your first and last warning, and I cannot tolerate your abuses any longer. I often wonder what really made this man to accept all these curses and abuses non-challantly? Could he not challenge the people who were accusing him on false charges? The second fall was Jesus’ way of giving the world a second chance to turn to him.

If the road to Calvary had been inaccessible and hard to traverse, how many times the Savior would have been prepared to fall. He had told his disciples to forgive anyone who asked pardon, not seven times, but seventy times seven! My guess is that Jesus might have been prepared to fall seventy times seven, in order prove to the world that he cared for it! But that could be possible only if he had still some energy left in his body! There is too little blood left in his body, and the energy is fast evaporating, and he is struggling to pull himself through! He does not know how to give ultimatum! He does not know how to give the one last chance! He would go another agonizing stretch in order to prove his love for the world.

How many times have I failed to give any chance for people to correct themselves? Many are the victims of my arbitrary judgments, not giving people a second chance to prove they are worthy of my attention. I am aware that many people may benefit from life if they are given a second chance to turn over a new leaf! Human beings are not such hardened criminals that they may not make use of a second chance! It does not demand much from me to give people a second chance; all that I need to be aware of is that they do not take me for a royal ride; that they do not take it for granted that whatever they do, they would be given an unconditional chance again. There is nothing like helping people to turn back and start a new beginning, and Jesus is doing it by demonstrating through his second fall.

Our legal system is unfortunately based on a harsh treatment of men and women for their one time misdeed! It is true that a thief who had been involved in stealing is caught one day, but for quite many, it may be their first misdeed, and they are caught! There is no way of letting them correct themselves and start life anew, but that they have to bear the consequences of what they had done, by way of going through several years of imprisonment as under-trial, and then after the verdict some more years of imprisonment! But then, by the time they come back home to start life with fresh perspective more than half their lives is gone… Ultimately such persons may again end up behind bars out of frustration and apathy by the society.

The second fall of Jesus on the way to Calvary is a reminder to me that I too should be prepared to “fall” so that others can rise; many are the times when I long for a second chance to prove my fidelity, commitment to the Lord and to the world, and strangely enough I do get such precious opportunity, and a second chance! When others are prepared to fall for my sake, is it not proper that I too prepare myself to let others get a second chance to correct themselves. I do not lose much by giving people another chance, all that I may have to do is subdue my ego, and let them make use of the chance with all sincerity and genuineness.

I do feel sad for you, as you fall flat onto the ground; looking at your face it is almost clear to me that you were prepared for the fall, though there is very little energy in you to withstand the weight of the wooden cross. I can scarcely remember how many chances you have given me up to this very day, so that I could be still alive, I could still receive your favor! I understand within days of my gaining consciousness, I had exhausted all the seventy times seven chances… You had given me hundreds of chances, and you do not exhaust your grace period for me to return to you! And yet, with my neighbors I am often too very stingy, and calculative! Today I am resolving to give not only the second but also the next chances to people who wish to turn a new leaf in life! I am prepared to kiss the ground with you, to let them have that precious chance in life!

Gathering Guts (SS 06)

Among the numerous men and women who had gathered on the way to Calvary to watch the parade of one of the worst criminals of the time, one young lady stood apart from all of them, and no one knows from where she had the guts to approach the criminal and show an act of mercy and charity to him! We do not know for sure what made her to do this remarkably daring act of mercy to the man who had been condemned by the very people who had been cured of their illnesses by this wandering Messiah, and fed by his munificence, and yet they had not known him enough to raise their voices in support of him, and yet here is a young lady, who could defy all codes of Jewish mannerism, of decency and decorum, to walk forward and wipe his face.

Would I have done that very act which this young lady had done, were I in her position? I am not very sure if I have the guts that she had! How hard it is to challenge the mighty and powerful? To challenge the powerful is to risk one’s life, career, family and friends, and yet if there are no persons to raise their voices against injustice and plead for compassion and justice, then the world would soon become a desert land, and there would be only ferocious new species called human beings may breed and populate the earth! Veronica unfortunately has no mention in the Gospels, and I don’t think she would mind that either, for like the hundreds of men and women, she too would remain an ‘Unknown’ saint!

With the arrival of this young woman, the journey to Calvary takes a new turn; Jesus had thought that everyone of his disciples had disappeared, and there is hardly anyone who would walk with him, but soon he would realize that that was not the whole truth: soon he would realize that his blessed mother was there walking with him, swallowing the pain and agony of encountering her son in great pain; then came the strange Simon of Cyrene, who had established a new law of compassion, and here is Veronica with yet another message : she had gathered her guts to stand by the innocent criminal, knowing well that she had to force her way through the soldiers and she would do it all by herself, come what may! Her determination had brought her face to face with the Savior.

I know from life’s experiences that to have guts is a dangerous thing, and especially if one has guts to oppose the injustice and evil in the society, one can look for other ways of earning a living, make sure to protect one’s parents, spouse and children, and start wearing the bullet-proof jacket to protect oneself from any assault. This is everyday reality for the people who have too much guts; for them justice cannot be compromised, and here is a man who had redefined what justice is! Veronica might have been prepared to face any kind of eventuality, as she gathered her guts to walk that extra distance to be with Christ and assure him of her support.

If we look around, we can see the number of people who are pushed to the edges because they had the guts to question the mighty and powerful and vouched to stand by the voiceless and powerless! I had seen and heard about religious men and women who were sent to remote corners because they raised their voice against the high-handedness of the mighty people. The same kind of treatment is rampant among political parties and leaders. There were some of my companions who were penalized and punished for questioning the dictatorial authorities, and the man had to bear the consequences of gathering guts in favor of the simple and ordinary. Veronica however still continues to fight against injustice.

As a matter of fact, it is not that difficult to gather one’s guts to question the mighty and the autocratic leaders, but it is hard to foresee the consequences, and uni-vocally accept whatever the consequences there may be. We do not know what had happened to Veronica, but if something bad were to happen to her, probably we would have heard in the Gospels about her. It is possible that what she had done was not a great act of charity, but it was essential for the Lord to continue his journey. But for Veronica, he might not have been able to complete the rest of his arduous journey. How many people do I help each day to continue with their journeys? And how many people have frightened me to cut off from my life?

You may not remember by I guess this young lady had been treasuring this little handkerchief for so many months to offer it as a loving gift to you, and least would she have ever thought that she would offer it to you at this hour! But how lovely this young lady had been, to spread your face with a touch of gentleness and godliness! You look at her lovingly and she knows that her heart is too full with your love, and her life cannot be the same from this hour onward. I may never have that much guts to go through the high-handedness of men and their muscles to reach out to a person in need of my kindness and mercy! But today I thank that sweet lady Veronica who is teaching me the need for me to gather guts to stand by you and your people.

Careful Carrier (SS 05)

It is seldom that I happily reach out to help someone who is in dire need of a helping hand. When I am in need of help, the world can hear my cry, and I fume when the by-passers look at me teasingly and pass by without even saying a word of comfort! But when others are in such a situation, I do exactly what all the others usually do! The species of men and women of the sort as that of Simon the Cyrene is fast disappearing, and who knows after a few decades, such men and women may be unheard of in the world we live. That may be one of the saddest episodes in the history of the universe, and I only hope not to be a witness to such a horrendous reality.

I do have my great regards for this man, who was in a sense forced to help an altogether strange criminal, whom he lent his helping hand rather reluctantly. He might have been an innocent man who looked down upon a criminal, especially a political and religious, and he would have desired not to be part of the blood of such a man, and he might have tried to hide himself from the crowds, but something in the soldiers had made him a helpless victim to help another hapless victim of circumstances. Maybe that is where the similarities between the Savior and the sinful Simon begins, and they may go a long way in helping each other’s crosses.

When someone is dead and lying on the road, there may be thousands who would stand and stare at the person, but might not dare to do even the least they could do – inform the police about the person; each one would only try to wash their hands off, from what had happened to this man on the road. I do not like to dirty my hands for the sake of another person, especially when that person is least known to me; why should I bother about every Tom, Dick and Harry? It is none of my business! But if Simeon were to say that to the Roman soldiers, then the savior would have been more miserable, and helpless than he ever was.

Here is the Good Samaritan, who was ready to walk not only the required distance, but was even prepared to walk all the way to Calvary. I wonder if Simon had ever heard about this wandering preacher, who had been curing the sick, feeding the hungry, and casting out spirits! There is no curiosity in him to meet the man, who gave life to so many people, but out of compulsion he is here to help… the compulsion to help the stranger soon becomes a compulsion in him to walk all the way. If only I can learn a lesson from this rustic Simon, and pass the message on to others, then the world would not lack companions to carry our crosses. There would be too many Simons ready to give a helping hand to anyone in need.

Simon did not mind getting out of his narrow-minded perspective of reality, in order to include the savior in his life journey, and that made so much of difference in his future life. His life would not have been the same after meeting the Messiah; he might not even have realized that by helping the wayfarer, he was not helping the criminal, but the hard core criminal was helping Simon to recover from life what he had lost. As he beheld the cross, the symbol of shame and humiliation, Simon was able to shed all the contempt and shame he had for the criminals and the social outcasts. He had turned a new leaf after his encounter with Jesus, but why is it even after so many retreats and recollections, I am not able to come back to God and one another?

I am much worse than Simon, and I don’t need others to tell me this, or remind me this truth; I cannot move my finger even when I hear the cries of agony of others in need, even when I hear their cries, I pretend not to listen to them, or close my eyes from seeing their pathetic situation. It is here that I become so very inhuman and cruel that I become more ferocious and wicked than the worst criminal the world has ever known. If only I can hear the cry of those in agony around me, and do the least that is possible within my capacity, then I would have many things to be happy and proud about, and the world would look so very beautiful, and I may have many people to be grateful to. I often miss the seed of sanctity buried in listening to the cries of those in pain and agony! Today I seek this seed with sincerity.

How lucky you were to have a stranger who was so very fortunate to have your company, and your healing touch! Those few moments Simon has spent with you, carrying the burden of our sins and offences, those were the most precious moments of this man, who had the rare privilege of accompanying you to Calvary! Today I long to touch and feel you, to carry your cross, but every day when I get so many opportunities to carry the crosses of my companions, my neighbors, my dear ones, how many excuses I make to evade the challenge! I wish I get the guts and the stamina that Simon had to dare to accompany you, not only the requested distance, but all the way to Calvary, because I know that is where my salvation awaits!

Meeting of Mercy (SS 04)

I cannot wish this to any mother, not even to the mother of my greatest enemy : to witness the downfall of her only son before her eyes! The slow and painful death of her son! To witness the agony and untold suffering of the son. Which mother on earth can bear such a horrendous sight? The mother who had carried the boy in her womb, suckled him with her own life blood, and spent many sleepless nights caring for him when he fell ill, and had protected and safeguarded him from every possible danger… how can she bear seeing the gradual painful death of her son? When this is her only son, who is the only relation for her on earth, how could she bear let him die? I close my eyes and recollect what would be going on in her body, mind and heart as she witnesses this sight!

Mary was no super human person; she had the normal natural feelings and temperaments, and she had the same kind of tender feelings for her son, like any other mother would have. Would she have ever thought that one day she would be forced to stand among the angry and violent spectacle and face one of the most cruel and horrendous punishments ever given to another human person? Maybe she had not seen such a thing happening outside the city, and this may be her first and last time that she walked the way to Calvary! She does not even realize that even as she gazes at her son, her bare-feet are bruised by the sharp stones and thorns, but she feels no pain…

She forgets the whole world the very moment her eyes met the loving eyes of her only son, whom she had loved more than the world ever loved him! Just a few seconds were enough for the mother and son to exchange epochs of history, which cannot be captured by any historian. The few seconds have imprinted all the feelings and sentiments of the son to his mother, and that one tender look of the mother was enough for the son to walk the rest of the path to Calvary! It is no magic, but the heart to heart communication between the two had transported both of them to an altogether different world, unknown to the mortals.

Every time when I talk to the inmates of an Old Age Home, I feel frightened to hear from them that their children had deserted them; that the parents did not find a safe place in the very house they had built with their sweat and blood. The children cannot bear the sight of their parents, and find it peaceful to keep them at their arm’s length, far away from their sight! I have seen the bitter tears of parents who long for the sight of their children and grand children, but cannot afford because they are not wanted by their very children! Parents become useless and unwanted after they reach a certain age, and they are considered a burden to their private lives. I would like to imagine what the life of the lonely man walking to Calvary would have been, had he not met his mother waiting with wailing, accompany him in spirit!

I also remember many of my friends who cannot talk to their parents, cannot go visiting them in their old age, cannot call them up occasionally to tell that they care for the old parents! Parents in their old age become nothing short of a burden to the children who prefer to have a private life of their own, without the watchful care of the old. The Old Age Homes therefore give the much needed respite to the children, and after their parents had been put up in the Home, they feel their responsibility done, and can continue with their lives as happily as they can. But no one can really tell the adult children what they would miss, when they refuse to have anything to do with their parents!

During my growing years, I always thought that my parents were occupying the visible representation of God for me; the Indian tradition always deemed the father and mother as the embodiments of God… pitri devo bhava, matri devo bhava… and therefore when I used to get up early in the morning, I would raise my folded hands in great respect and reverence to the persons who had given a name and shape (nama-rupa) to me, and I continued this ‘ritual’ for quite many days, until I began to realize that the devotion to the parents should be not only in external behavior, but also in the heart. But I feel deeply that my parents matter to me only next to God!

I find it hard and painful to come across persons who cannot face their parents, and ill-treat them, and put them to shame in public, that some of them are driven to streets. You were privileged to have your loving mother, walking with you all the way to Calvary, providing you with the much needed moral and spiritual strength! When you were a new-born, she suckled you with her milk, and today she suckles you with the spiritual milk you require to fulfill the will of the Father, and she would go all the way to be with you, and help you reach the goal. As I gaze at the tender and ever loving eyes of your mother, I can see the eyes of my own parents, and I feel energized to walk the rest of my path with you!