It was a beautiful realization to think that the most precious things in life are hard-earned; I can think of the most precious things in life, be it things or persons or even notions, and each one of them would tell a fascinating story. The paradox is that these hard-earned things and persons are so dear to us that parting with them becomes an ordeal, and invariably at several moments in life we are called to “sacrifice” them for a greater good, even if that is only in the level of concept and notion, and not a reality altogether. Sometimes our hands and feet are tied, and we are left with no other option than give them up, and it is painful to let them go.
Another sweet-n-sour realization is that there is further joy in letting something I had kept close to my heart for years to go; the initial pain would linger in my heart for quite a while, and it may take away my sleep, but I know at the end I had the generosity to let this thing go, or let this person walk out of my life freely. One of the greatest maladies of this age is excessive attachment to things and persons, and that causes much of the misery, pain and suffering. Those who are able to give up hard-earned things and persons, enjoy greater peace and happiness in life, and I have seen this in the life of some of the people I had lived with.
Ignatius of Loyola was not only a great spiritual master, who taught us the language of learning about the heart, but also taught us some of the most wonderful psychological insights which had taken several centuries to really form and become theories. He was quite clear when he held that we cannot arrive at an impartial decision, unless we begin clearing ourselves from all forms of inordinate attachments. For those who are tied to attachments and yet wish to move forward, Ignatius has given them a way of getting out of this web : agere contra (to act against) is one way, to desire and pray for the contrary to what I am attached to.
We can hardly think of attachment as something which can have negative effect on us; we take it for granted that our “security” is in having people close to us, things which can give us the kind of pleasure that we see. It might take us some guts to realize that the very things and persons we think as giving us security may become obstacles in realizing the “freedom” of God’s children. It is wrong to think that all things and persons we are attached to may prevent us from realizing our inner freedom to move with the Spirit, where she wills, but the word we need to underline is “inordinate” or “disorderly”, which can stifle our freedom and spontaneity.
But is it ever possible to live a life without being attached to things, persons and ideas? Humanly speaking it is impossible; but we need not worry about all kinds of attachments; there are attachments which may free us to greater things. For instance attachment to certain values can take us a long way in being witness to the Kingdom; but when these attachments become obsessions, we may be treading on a tight rope, and the danger of falling from grace is more. The best way to check our attachments is this : If I am able to give it up without feeling bad or sad, then I am safe; the attachments which bind me and delimit my freedom, may cause more harm to me than good.
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