Trifling with the Third (SS 09)

Calvary is almost reached, but there is no more energy left in the body, and as I look at your frail body limping step by step with the burden of the cross, you look at your final destination : the hillock which will immortalize you for all generations to come! But when you fall to the ground for the third time, I know you are at the fag end of your journey, and you can stretch it no longer! The good news is that Calvary is just a few feet away, but the bad news is that you may make it only with great difficulty! Not all soldiers are harsh and cruel to you; maybe there was one soldier, who had a little sympathy for you, and he helps you rise up from the ground, and gives his hand to move forward! Not everyone on earth is bad, I know! Thanks to these sympathetic men and women, we still experience humane treatment.

Most often I get annoyed with people who cannot stop their falls; they keep falling endlessly, until there is no more energy left in their bodies. And yet I cannot stop cursing and shouting at them, because I know if only they put a little more effort, they could have prevented the fall, but your third fall demonstrates before my very eyes that even when the spirit is strong, the flesh may still be weak, and sometimes too weak to with-hold! How beautifully the Savior had accepted his third fall; he knows that it is the reign of darkness, and he had nothing more to do than submit to the whims and fancies of the king of darkness. Helplessness and weakness have crippled him to this state!

When I fall on life’s journey again and again, quite often without myself wanting them, I feel terribly depressive and annoying! I cannot understand my own inclinations and vile attractions, some of which seem to have grown as I grew into adulthood! I cannot blame anyone for the state I am in, and I have to accept all that I am and all that I have, wholly and completely, without any ifs and buts. Then actual life is not as simple as that! I cannot complete even a single paragraph of writing without using ifs and buts, conditions have become my favorite, not only in the blogs, but also in life, and I live thanks to the ifs and buts!

I cannot imagine the Savior using ifs and buts, not only in his speech, but also in his life; if that were the case, then my fate would have been quite different. How do I treat a person who has ran out of all his/her resources, and stands before me seeking shelter and security, be it moral, social or spiritual! It may not be easy to seek such a person with a warm smile, and a bouquet, but then what would be the plight of this person if I were to throw him out of my household? Could I ever be so very hard-hearted as to refuse the little what I can possibly give? The earth has been so very kind and generous to receive the Son of Man with her outstretched arms! Would I do the same with the people who come me for help?

There is an innate tendency in me to keep fighting against all odds, even when I know for sure that I am fighting a losing battle; quite often I tell myself that what matters is not so much the success or failure in such a battle, but the fact that I participate in it whole heartedly, that is what really matters. If that be the case, then it would be rather easy to give up when all my resources run dry; but how could I handle the false pride and arrogance which may not permit me to give up fighting, and accept defeat, knowing well I had done my best to fight against the external forces working against me. I realize that embracing defeat in life does not necessarily mean I accept failure and defeat!

After every fall the weight of the cross seems to be increasing manifold, and the weight of the wooden frame seem to be pressing upon him. The will power in him is strong still, and that is the reason why he does not give it up; he puts his foot forward and knows for sure that he may stumble and fall, together with the cross. The determination and the will power that he had made him complete his journey, though with three falls! For a man whose body has been torn apart by the flagellations and crown of thorns, who had been whipped throughout the journey, the scorching sun added insult to injury, and he would still accept it, because it is through this kind of falls and rises that he is to enter into his glory!

I am too frightened of placing myself in your position and imagining the way of the Cross; the very thought of it makes me sweat. But you had warned me much in advance that unless I carry my cross and follow you, I cannot enter into the kingdom of heaven! Even after your third fall, you had the determination to rise up and continue your journey, though with much pain and agony. Often after my fall, I have no strength and energy left in me to rise up and walk further; I wish to give up hope and surrender defeat, but your demonstration of so much of will power pushes me to fix my eyes onto Calvary and keep moving! I remember your words, anyone who has put his hands on the plow and looks back is not worthy of the kingdom! How true you are!

Moaning with the Moaners (SS 08)

There is no greater consolation to a person going through untold suffering and pain than to have people around him, joining their hearts with his/her suffering. The women of Jerusalem should have been simple people, who might have been either cured of their illnesses by Jesus, or fed by his munificence some months ago. Today they had decided to accompany him on the way to Calvary as a mark of their gratitude to him, for what they had received from him! They have nothing to offer to reduce his pain; even as they stood in the midst of madding crowds before Pilot, they had no voice to say that the man was innocent, and so as reparation for their cowardice, they have decided to accompany him all the way to Calvary!

I feel these women were ordinary persons, who found great consolation listening to Jesus, opening their hearts to a new vision of reality, of life in general; they had been touched not only by what he said, but also by what he was! There was a spiritual glow in him which attracted them to him, even without their knowing. They were able to recognize the Savior in him, who had all the medicine they needed to be healed of all their ailments! By walking with him on this road full of thorns and stone chips, they have no great expectation! All they desire is to let their master know that they were by his side. Their silent presence with him is all that they could offer to him here and now!

In the midst of the crowds who were jeering at him, cursed him endlessly, accused him of everything under the sun, to have a handful of people who sympathized with him, brought so much of consolation to the Master! He might have been thinking to himself – All is not lost! These women have not retained their hard hearts, which they did possess before they encountered him; their hearts have turned from stones to flesh, and that is what makes so much of difference now! While all the other bystanders and mocking crowds refused to let their hearts be transformed into flesh by the life-giving words of Christ, these women had the courage to let him transform them, and today they are here to bear witness to the transformation he had brought in their lives.

There is pathos in their hearts, and in full measure; they are unable to control it! Their hearts are so supple to human suffering, and they would shed tears for any person who is unjustly punished. And the master looks at them tenderly, and even at this moment, he is concerned that these women turn their attention on their family! How hard is it for me to divert the excessive attention I receive to some other deserving persons around me! I want all the attention from all corners, even if it is just a passing flu or cold, and wish everyone to nurse me, cajole me! Here is the master who does not wish to retain the attention these women offered, instead he turns them to more pressing needs and persons. He however does not disregard their gesture of love and concern, but only wishes them to utilize it for greater cause.

It is not easy for me to sympathize with people who are very different from me, who hold views and notions very different from mine; often instead of sympathizing with them in their pain, I feel happy and delighted to see them suffer! I feel that they deserved the suffering and punishment for what they had been doing, scheming, and plotting! I realize that I cannot sympathize with a person who has not touched me in some way or other! I place a series of conditions before I extend hands of support and sympathy to persons, and that is what makes me so very different from the women of Jerusalem and their master! The women had no conditions to express their sympathy towards Jesus, and that made them to be genuine in their expression of this sympathy.

Often I feel that my heart is like a stone, impossible to penetrate, and it is only the Lord of heaven and earth who can transform it into a heart of flesh, which would moan with moaners, rejoice with the happy, and shed tears for the suffering! These women are all endowed with hearts of flesh, and I am praying for this gift, as I contemplate the meeting of Jesus with the women of Jerusalem. If only I can feel the pain and agony of the hundreds of people who go through unending suffering day after day, and yet without cursing or blaming anybody! I think of the millions of victims of violence and injustice, those pawns in the hands of the mighty and powerful, who can play with the lives of hundreds of poor at will! Do I have a heart with cries for them, which is prepared to walk the path of Calvary to show my solidarity with them?

I see the fruit of the multiplication effect of your loaves; you have multiplied your tender heart and have implanted it into all the people who were prepared to be a little more humane and godly! How these hearts of flesh vibrated with each other? There was perfect synchronization of your heart with those of these women, and I know that these women are prepared to shed their precious tears for anyone who might go through unjust punishment, who is a victim of the structures we have created for our comfort zones! Unless I have a heart of flesh, it would be impossible for me to be sympathetic, leave alone be empathetic! I would like you to gaze at me, and let your presence transform my heart, so that I can join these women and walk with you all the way to Calvary!

Securing a Second Chance (SS 07)

Jesus himself might not have thought that he might have to fall to the ground a second time, not to mention that there would be another fall awaiting him. But he does not curse the whole world, when he is pressed down by the cross, and falls flat on the ground! He would not have liked to fall, but he is as powerless and helpless as any person drained of his energy would feel. But that is the fall that he did not expect, and even as he struggles to rise from the ground, there is very little help given him; there is no helping hand, no sign of sympathy for him, but only jeers and a shower of abuses! The second fall makes his body a little weaker, but his spirit grows strong.

When the Savior had fallen on to the ground, he did not show any sign of stubbornness or arrogance, which said that he was not going to fall with the weight of the world’s sins again! In fact, the reverse may be true; he did not mind falling any number of time to let the world know that he was ready to accept them, with all their abuses and charges. He did not even once say, this is your first and last warning, and I cannot tolerate your abuses any longer. I often wonder what really made this man to accept all these curses and abuses non-challantly? Could he not challenge the people who were accusing him on false charges? The second fall was Jesus’ way of giving the world a second chance to turn to him.

If the road to Calvary had been inaccessible and hard to traverse, how many times the Savior would have been prepared to fall. He had told his disciples to forgive anyone who asked pardon, not seven times, but seventy times seven! My guess is that Jesus might have been prepared to fall seventy times seven, in order prove to the world that he cared for it! But that could be possible only if he had still some energy left in his body! There is too little blood left in his body, and the energy is fast evaporating, and he is struggling to pull himself through! He does not know how to give ultimatum! He does not know how to give the one last chance! He would go another agonizing stretch in order to prove his love for the world.

How many times have I failed to give any chance for people to correct themselves? Many are the victims of my arbitrary judgments, not giving people a second chance to prove they are worthy of my attention. I am aware that many people may benefit from life if they are given a second chance to turn over a new leaf! Human beings are not such hardened criminals that they may not make use of a second chance! It does not demand much from me to give people a second chance; all that I need to be aware of is that they do not take me for a royal ride; that they do not take it for granted that whatever they do, they would be given an unconditional chance again. There is nothing like helping people to turn back and start a new beginning, and Jesus is doing it by demonstrating through his second fall.

Our legal system is unfortunately based on a harsh treatment of men and women for their one time misdeed! It is true that a thief who had been involved in stealing is caught one day, but for quite many, it may be their first misdeed, and they are caught! There is no way of letting them correct themselves and start life anew, but that they have to bear the consequences of what they had done, by way of going through several years of imprisonment as under-trial, and then after the verdict some more years of imprisonment! But then, by the time they come back home to start life with fresh perspective more than half their lives is gone… Ultimately such persons may again end up behind bars out of frustration and apathy by the society.

The second fall of Jesus on the way to Calvary is a reminder to me that I too should be prepared to “fall” so that others can rise; many are the times when I long for a second chance to prove my fidelity, commitment to the Lord and to the world, and strangely enough I do get such precious opportunity, and a second chance! When others are prepared to fall for my sake, is it not proper that I too prepare myself to let others get a second chance to correct themselves. I do not lose much by giving people another chance, all that I may have to do is subdue my ego, and let them make use of the chance with all sincerity and genuineness.

I do feel sad for you, as you fall flat onto the ground; looking at your face it is almost clear to me that you were prepared for the fall, though there is very little energy in you to withstand the weight of the wooden cross. I can scarcely remember how many chances you have given me up to this very day, so that I could be still alive, I could still receive your favor! I understand within days of my gaining consciousness, I had exhausted all the seventy times seven chances… You had given me hundreds of chances, and you do not exhaust your grace period for me to return to you! And yet, with my neighbors I am often too very stingy, and calculative! Today I am resolving to give not only the second but also the next chances to people who wish to turn a new leaf in life! I am prepared to kiss the ground with you, to let them have that precious chance in life!

Gathering Guts (SS 06)

Among the numerous men and women who had gathered on the way to Calvary to watch the parade of one of the worst criminals of the time, one young lady stood apart from all of them, and no one knows from where she had the guts to approach the criminal and show an act of mercy and charity to him! We do not know for sure what made her to do this remarkably daring act of mercy to the man who had been condemned by the very people who had been cured of their illnesses by this wandering Messiah, and fed by his munificence, and yet they had not known him enough to raise their voices in support of him, and yet here is a young lady, who could defy all codes of Jewish mannerism, of decency and decorum, to walk forward and wipe his face.

Would I have done that very act which this young lady had done, were I in her position? I am not very sure if I have the guts that she had! How hard it is to challenge the mighty and powerful? To challenge the powerful is to risk one’s life, career, family and friends, and yet if there are no persons to raise their voices against injustice and plead for compassion and justice, then the world would soon become a desert land, and there would be only ferocious new species called human beings may breed and populate the earth! Veronica unfortunately has no mention in the Gospels, and I don’t think she would mind that either, for like the hundreds of men and women, she too would remain an ‘Unknown’ saint!

With the arrival of this young woman, the journey to Calvary takes a new turn; Jesus had thought that everyone of his disciples had disappeared, and there is hardly anyone who would walk with him, but soon he would realize that that was not the whole truth: soon he would realize that his blessed mother was there walking with him, swallowing the pain and agony of encountering her son in great pain; then came the strange Simon of Cyrene, who had established a new law of compassion, and here is Veronica with yet another message : she had gathered her guts to stand by the innocent criminal, knowing well that she had to force her way through the soldiers and she would do it all by herself, come what may! Her determination had brought her face to face with the Savior.

I know from life’s experiences that to have guts is a dangerous thing, and especially if one has guts to oppose the injustice and evil in the society, one can look for other ways of earning a living, make sure to protect one’s parents, spouse and children, and start wearing the bullet-proof jacket to protect oneself from any assault. This is everyday reality for the people who have too much guts; for them justice cannot be compromised, and here is a man who had redefined what justice is! Veronica might have been prepared to face any kind of eventuality, as she gathered her guts to walk that extra distance to be with Christ and assure him of her support.

If we look around, we can see the number of people who are pushed to the edges because they had the guts to question the mighty and powerful and vouched to stand by the voiceless and powerless! I had seen and heard about religious men and women who were sent to remote corners because they raised their voice against the high-handedness of the mighty people. The same kind of treatment is rampant among political parties and leaders. There were some of my companions who were penalized and punished for questioning the dictatorial authorities, and the man had to bear the consequences of gathering guts in favor of the simple and ordinary. Veronica however still continues to fight against injustice.

As a matter of fact, it is not that difficult to gather one’s guts to question the mighty and the autocratic leaders, but it is hard to foresee the consequences, and uni-vocally accept whatever the consequences there may be. We do not know what had happened to Veronica, but if something bad were to happen to her, probably we would have heard in the Gospels about her. It is possible that what she had done was not a great act of charity, but it was essential for the Lord to continue his journey. But for Veronica, he might not have been able to complete the rest of his arduous journey. How many people do I help each day to continue with their journeys? And how many people have frightened me to cut off from my life?

You may not remember by I guess this young lady had been treasuring this little handkerchief for so many months to offer it as a loving gift to you, and least would she have ever thought that she would offer it to you at this hour! But how lovely this young lady had been, to spread your face with a touch of gentleness and godliness! You look at her lovingly and she knows that her heart is too full with your love, and her life cannot be the same from this hour onward. I may never have that much guts to go through the high-handedness of men and their muscles to reach out to a person in need of my kindness and mercy! But today I thank that sweet lady Veronica who is teaching me the need for me to gather guts to stand by you and your people.

Careful Carrier (SS 05)

It is seldom that I happily reach out to help someone who is in dire need of a helping hand. When I am in need of help, the world can hear my cry, and I fume when the by-passers look at me teasingly and pass by without even saying a word of comfort! But when others are in such a situation, I do exactly what all the others usually do! The species of men and women of the sort as that of Simon the Cyrene is fast disappearing, and who knows after a few decades, such men and women may be unheard of in the world we live. That may be one of the saddest episodes in the history of the universe, and I only hope not to be a witness to such a horrendous reality.

I do have my great regards for this man, who was in a sense forced to help an altogether strange criminal, whom he lent his helping hand rather reluctantly. He might have been an innocent man who looked down upon a criminal, especially a political and religious, and he would have desired not to be part of the blood of such a man, and he might have tried to hide himself from the crowds, but something in the soldiers had made him a helpless victim to help another hapless victim of circumstances. Maybe that is where the similarities between the Savior and the sinful Simon begins, and they may go a long way in helping each other’s crosses.

When someone is dead and lying on the road, there may be thousands who would stand and stare at the person, but might not dare to do even the least they could do – inform the police about the person; each one would only try to wash their hands off, from what had happened to this man on the road. I do not like to dirty my hands for the sake of another person, especially when that person is least known to me; why should I bother about every Tom, Dick and Harry? It is none of my business! But if Simeon were to say that to the Roman soldiers, then the savior would have been more miserable, and helpless than he ever was.

Here is the Good Samaritan, who was ready to walk not only the required distance, but was even prepared to walk all the way to Calvary. I wonder if Simon had ever heard about this wandering preacher, who had been curing the sick, feeding the hungry, and casting out spirits! There is no curiosity in him to meet the man, who gave life to so many people, but out of compulsion he is here to help… the compulsion to help the stranger soon becomes a compulsion in him to walk all the way. If only I can learn a lesson from this rustic Simon, and pass the message on to others, then the world would not lack companions to carry our crosses. There would be too many Simons ready to give a helping hand to anyone in need.

Simon did not mind getting out of his narrow-minded perspective of reality, in order to include the savior in his life journey, and that made so much of difference in his future life. His life would not have been the same after meeting the Messiah; he might not even have realized that by helping the wayfarer, he was not helping the criminal, but the hard core criminal was helping Simon to recover from life what he had lost. As he beheld the cross, the symbol of shame and humiliation, Simon was able to shed all the contempt and shame he had for the criminals and the social outcasts. He had turned a new leaf after his encounter with Jesus, but why is it even after so many retreats and recollections, I am not able to come back to God and one another?

I am much worse than Simon, and I don’t need others to tell me this, or remind me this truth; I cannot move my finger even when I hear the cries of agony of others in need, even when I hear their cries, I pretend not to listen to them, or close my eyes from seeing their pathetic situation. It is here that I become so very inhuman and cruel that I become more ferocious and wicked than the worst criminal the world has ever known. If only I can hear the cry of those in agony around me, and do the least that is possible within my capacity, then I would have many things to be happy and proud about, and the world would look so very beautiful, and I may have many people to be grateful to. I often miss the seed of sanctity buried in listening to the cries of those in pain and agony! Today I seek this seed with sincerity.

How lucky you were to have a stranger who was so very fortunate to have your company, and your healing touch! Those few moments Simon has spent with you, carrying the burden of our sins and offences, those were the most precious moments of this man, who had the rare privilege of accompanying you to Calvary! Today I long to touch and feel you, to carry your cross, but every day when I get so many opportunities to carry the crosses of my companions, my neighbors, my dear ones, how many excuses I make to evade the challenge! I wish I get the guts and the stamina that Simon had to dare to accompany you, not only the requested distance, but all the way to Calvary, because I know that is where my salvation awaits!

Meeting of Mercy (SS 04)

I cannot wish this to any mother, not even to the mother of my greatest enemy : to witness the downfall of her only son before her eyes! The slow and painful death of her son! To witness the agony and untold suffering of the son. Which mother on earth can bear such a horrendous sight? The mother who had carried the boy in her womb, suckled him with her own life blood, and spent many sleepless nights caring for him when he fell ill, and had protected and safeguarded him from every possible danger… how can she bear seeing the gradual painful death of her son? When this is her only son, who is the only relation for her on earth, how could she bear let him die? I close my eyes and recollect what would be going on in her body, mind and heart as she witnesses this sight!

Mary was no super human person; she had the normal natural feelings and temperaments, and she had the same kind of tender feelings for her son, like any other mother would have. Would she have ever thought that one day she would be forced to stand among the angry and violent spectacle and face one of the most cruel and horrendous punishments ever given to another human person? Maybe she had not seen such a thing happening outside the city, and this may be her first and last time that she walked the way to Calvary! She does not even realize that even as she gazes at her son, her bare-feet are bruised by the sharp stones and thorns, but she feels no pain…

She forgets the whole world the very moment her eyes met the loving eyes of her only son, whom she had loved more than the world ever loved him! Just a few seconds were enough for the mother and son to exchange epochs of history, which cannot be captured by any historian. The few seconds have imprinted all the feelings and sentiments of the son to his mother, and that one tender look of the mother was enough for the son to walk the rest of the path to Calvary! It is no magic, but the heart to heart communication between the two had transported both of them to an altogether different world, unknown to the mortals.

Every time when I talk to the inmates of an Old Age Home, I feel frightened to hear from them that their children had deserted them; that the parents did not find a safe place in the very house they had built with their sweat and blood. The children cannot bear the sight of their parents, and find it peaceful to keep them at their arm’s length, far away from their sight! I have seen the bitter tears of parents who long for the sight of their children and grand children, but cannot afford because they are not wanted by their very children! Parents become useless and unwanted after they reach a certain age, and they are considered a burden to their private lives. I would like to imagine what the life of the lonely man walking to Calvary would have been, had he not met his mother waiting with wailing, accompany him in spirit!

I also remember many of my friends who cannot talk to their parents, cannot go visiting them in their old age, cannot call them up occasionally to tell that they care for the old parents! Parents in their old age become nothing short of a burden to the children who prefer to have a private life of their own, without the watchful care of the old. The Old Age Homes therefore give the much needed respite to the children, and after their parents had been put up in the Home, they feel their responsibility done, and can continue with their lives as happily as they can. But no one can really tell the adult children what they would miss, when they refuse to have anything to do with their parents!

During my growing years, I always thought that my parents were occupying the visible representation of God for me; the Indian tradition always deemed the father and mother as the embodiments of God… pitri devo bhava, matri devo bhava… and therefore when I used to get up early in the morning, I would raise my folded hands in great respect and reverence to the persons who had given a name and shape (nama-rupa) to me, and I continued this ‘ritual’ for quite many days, until I began to realize that the devotion to the parents should be not only in external behavior, but also in the heart. But I feel deeply that my parents matter to me only next to God!

I find it hard and painful to come across persons who cannot face their parents, and ill-treat them, and put them to shame in public, that some of them are driven to streets. You were privileged to have your loving mother, walking with you all the way to Calvary, providing you with the much needed moral and spiritual strength! When you were a new-born, she suckled you with her milk, and today she suckles you with the spiritual milk you require to fulfill the will of the Father, and she would go all the way to be with you, and help you reach the goal. As I gaze at the tender and ever loving eyes of your mother, I can see the eyes of my own parents, and I feel energized to walk the rest of my path with you!

Falsifying Falls (SS 03)

I cannot afford to fall in life, and if I do, then that would be the end of my honor, fame, the good name which I had been treasuring all these years, and here I see the Son of God falling to the ground with his Cross, and I take courage to look at his bruised face, he does not regret for falling, to face the shame and humiliation of falling on the ground. Has he become so immune or inhuman not to feel the pain and agony, not only physical, but more so the mental and psychological? Who wants to fall on life’s journey, and who does not blame the whole world for falling? But here is a very different scene, the Savior falling to the ground and yet there is not a word of complaint or blame-game or accusation of those who had condemned him to this situation.

Even as he carries the heavy burden of the Cross, pressing him down to the very earth he had sanctified over the past three years, and his frail body giving way, his spirit is still strong (I remember his golden words even as he walked to the Garden of Gethsemane : the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak!); it is the strong will power which propels him to fix his eyes on the Calvary, as he staggers step by step. But then he probably knew about the impending fall, and he does not take any extraordinary precaution not to fall; the weak body has very little strength and energy left, and he cannot hold himself anymore, and therefore allows himself to fall, and as he falls, I can see the Mother Earth spreading her palms to hold her child, he does not protest, he kisses the ground and rises again to walk further.

Is it not ironic to not only imagining but also witnessing the Son of God so weak and fragile that he falls to the ground because of the weight of the Cross? The world cannot accept fall, under whatever circumstance it be; to fall is to give into one’s follies and vices. One cannot afford to fall, leave alone lie down on the earth, unable to rise up. I frown upon anyone who has fallen, and they cannot be considered worthy citizens of this earth; they are lesser human beings, because of their fall due to yielding to their vices and sins. I have very little regard for those who have fallen “from grace”, and are trying to get back to their toes.

But the problem with me is that I cannot think of falling, and cannot accept even myself falling to the ground, either due to my own vices and sins, or because of the faults of others. If that be the case, then am I saner and more sacred than the man from Nazareth? If Jesus could allow himself to fall, what prevents me from accepting my own falls, even if that means due to the faults of others; after all, the fall is not everything; there is life after fall, and that is what the Savior reminds me of. When a friend of mine applies for the admission of his son or daughter, he approaches me to recommend his case to the concerned principal, so that his son or daughter is not deprived of a seat, “just in case” the child fails to fare well in the interview! I cannot afford to fail.

I have an incorrigible tendency to look down upon everyone who had fallen in life, I consider them not fit for life, while I conceal every time I fall, lest others think that I am too fragile and weak, which I am. I think of the numerous moments when I had fallen without knowing, and was not even aware that I had fallen, and there were helping hands coming from all corners to raise me up, and put me on the track. How wonderful it is to have people who do not show an accusing finger at me when I fall, but provide me with the much needed push to stand up and continue my walk! My greatest consolation is that these are people who would not run away the moment I fall to the ground, but stand by me to raise me when I fall. They are truly God-sent!

It is so easy for me to find fault with all those who had fallen in life, and are struggling to rise up and move forward, though the weight of the cross may be pressing upon them. I have all the resources to rise up, but the Savior had none to give that much needed helping hand; he had to look up to the Father, to gain the strength to rise up with the Cross. As I gaze into the eyes of the Lord, I remember my own falls, and the falls of all the people I am associated with; how many times have I been the cause of the fall of others, how often have I pushed people to fall to the ground, and was rejoicing at their fall? I feel sad for such moments!

You do not regret for falling to the ground, even as your already bruised body gives into more fresh blood oozing all over your frail body! You have no words of accusation or blame! I am no better than the bystanders who never stopped accusing you of what you were innocent of! Though I keep falling on life’s journey, I cannot bear people falling, even without their fault. Falls are part of life, and they may open up the floodgates of grace from your Spirit, because it is when I am weak that I can experience the power of your death and resurrection. I would like to extend my hand to raise up the many of my neighbors, because these are the very people who had been my strength and energy, when I fall to the ground. I kiss the ground sanctified by your fall, for this is the starting point of my little journey to my own Calvary!

Bracing the Bitter Pill (SS 02)

I don’t really know if the man who cured hundreds of men and women of their ailments and illnesses, ever stopped to ‘give’ during the three years of his ‘public’ life! He had told his disciples in such unequivocal punch, ‘without cost you have received; without cost you are to give’ (Mt 10:8). His hands should have been quite tired of giving – food to nourish their bodies, living waters to wash away their ailments, healing for their souls! But here is an occasion for him to stop giving and receive from the very people who flocked to him unendingly only to receive what he could offer unconditionally. Here is a reversal of roles in the life of the man who changed many a life!

It is time for the Savior to receive what the people were to offer him! This is not something that you expect to receive after the innumerable good that you have done! How ungrateful the crowds can be, and how so very wicked! Have they forgotten the many good things he had done, the transformation he had brought in their lives, social, cultural and religious spheres? Have they ever come across a person who never stopped to give himself like this man, who had no riches or wealth, no home to claim his own (remember his personal declaration : Foxes have dens and birds of the sky have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to rest his head – Mt 8:20), and yet had all the riches that the world can imagine.

He has not yet exhausted all that he could give to the world, the people who know how to suck him out of all that they can get. He is keeping something for the last moment, his own life; that is the only thing that is left in him! He is ready to receive now, the bitter pill of the Cross! But wait a minute! Is the Cross imposed on his shoulders or is he willingly embracing it? It is improbable that he is forced to take up the cross – he had been waiting for this moment, and he had known what was in store for him even before he stepped into this world! The moment of his glory is just to begin, and that would unfold through the mystery of the Cross.

You have given us enough, and now is time for you to receive from us what we have to offer to you, as a sign of our gratitude and appreciation to you! The whisper of the hundreds of men and women who stood around Pilate to see the fun was deafening to the lonely man, standing as if he was the worst criminal, and he does not hesitate even for a second to accept the Cross. But it is not that easy for me to accept what I am forced to accept, especially if what I am offered is not palatable to my taste! I want what is according to my taste; what is good for me here and now; I cannot accept any pain or suffering for the faults I had not committed. I will fight tooth and nail to refuse the ‘cross’ that I am compelled to accept. I cannot allow myself to be taken for granted.

There is a ferocious rebel in me, who always seeks what will be to my advantage, what would do good to my comforts, future, personal interest and taste; I do not care for what happens to others; that is not my concern, all that I care for is my own interest. I cannot blindly accept whatever the people around me impose on me, especially when I know for sure that I am unjustly implicated in matters and issues I am not part of. How often do I see the Cross kept at my arm’s length; if I stretch my hand, I can touch it, and yet I dare not accept it! Let it rot there, I mutter! At the secret of my heart, I giggle, how many crosses have I managed to escape all these years!

His words still ring in my ears : If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me (Lk 9:23). But how hard it is to accept the blame and punishment for the mistakes and faults I have not committed! There are hundreds of people waiting outside my room to offer crosses, and I can find hardly anyone who like the Nazarene would willingly accept the bitter pills, which will bring healing to the ailing humanity. I look at the barren cross, the symbol of shame and humiliation, whose every atom is laden with pain and suffering; the cross today beckons me accept it, if I want life, life in its fullness! The one who willingly embraced the cross is there at my side, and I stretch out my hands to embrace it today!

I know it is not that easy for me to even think that I would one day embrace the cross of suffering, of humiliation! Maybe I am not as motivated as you were, and my intentions are not as pure as yours, in order for me to accept the cross. I cannot think of accepting it willingly, and here I am to accept it because that is what you have taught me, and are inviting me to do! This is the least that I can do for all that you had given me; you had given me until it hurt you, and today accepting this cross is not going to hurt my spirit to the least! It may hurt my body, and it may also leave an indelible mark on my mind, but it cannot touch my spirit, because the power of the helplessness and powerlessness which flow from you, is my strength, my comfort!

Path of Powerlessness (SS 01)

How hard is it for me to realize that I am powerless before the world, that I cannot bend the law for my advantage, that I have to follow the millions of people who are just powerless before the mighty empires of power and influence in the world. I feel that it is even shameful for me to realize that I am powerless before the world, the mighty and powerful, and there are many who would look down upon me for being so powerless, and accept reality as it comes to me! But today as I stand before the Lord willingly and even joyously embracing the condemnation that Pilate had imposed on him, I realize the power of being powerless, power understood as a spiritual energy which can take me to a realm different from the material and physical reality!

I cannot accept the fact that sometimes I am powerless and am advised by everyone who matters to me that I should do something to make myself powerful and prove to the world that I cannot be taken for granted. The other day my elder brother’s case had come for hearing (he had been implicated in a case of fraud which the Central Board of Investigation had initiated on the firm where my brother was a partner), and the judge had given the verdict against my brother’s concern, and soon his world began to be in pieces. He could not accept the verdict – rupees five thousand fine and one year of simple imprisonment! It is not a question of if he deserved it or not, but I would like to look at how he reacted to the verdict.

The next day emails crisscrossed between the brothers; get rid of the case by hook or by crook! Even if you have to bribe the judge and spend far too much money on it, do not hesitate! That was the refrain that formed the main content of most of the emails, and my elder brother promised he would do everything possible in order to get out of the case. There were references given by my younger brother, who could help my brother come out with a clean chit. Money is not a problem if the work is well done, my brother assured the advocate handling his case. The central point is : do anything to get out of the ugly situation my brother was in.

A friend of mine who applied for a visa to visit a neighboring country was turned away, when my friend failed to carry his old passport, at the time of submitting the form. His other friends would be travelling to the neighboring country, and this friend was to accompany them. Now he had to go to with his friends by all means, and these men had all the influence they required to bend the rules, in order to get the visa the very next day. The same thing happened to a family of four, husband and wife, and two boys, whose application was also turned away because the husband did not carry his old passport. But my friend got his visa at a record time, because of the “influence” he had exerted through a higher authority of our college.

Who on earth wants to accept defeat, failure and unjust verdict? No one wants to accept a verdict which is a blatant injustice, but here stands a man who does not open his mouth to oppose an unjust verdict, a condemnation by the Roman governor Pilate and the Pharisees and scribes. Why could Jesus the Nazarene make use of his “influence” to show how powerful he was, that he was more powerful than the Romans, of the Jewish leaders, both political and religious! Why could he not plead to his Father to send his angels to show how powerful the Messiah was? This seemingly stupid godman perhaps did not know the ways of the world, he stood to his guns, to unjustly suffer an ignominious death on the cross, and he would do it willingly.

He even had the guts to defend his position, of keeping mum, of not making use of his influence to defend himself from the worldly powerful. My kingdom does not belong to this world. If my kingdom did belong to this world, my attendants would be fighting to keep me from being handed over to the Jews. But as it is, my kingdom is not here!” (Jn 18:35-36). Did he not know that he was living in the world and he must be a Roman in Rome? It is so hard to keep my mouth shut in the midst of blatant injustice done to others, and done to me, and if Jesus has the audacity to seal his lips before the mighty and powerful men and women of his time, he points me to the seed of being powerless before the world, for being powerless before the world necessarily points me to being powerful in the world beyond!

How heartening it is for me to see you standing like a pillar of stone before the deafening crowd, unjustly condemning you to death, and yet you had no word of protest, no word of rebuttal; you had the greatest ‘influence’, and yet you would not turn stones to fill your stomach! You show to me the amazing power of being powerless before the world, and this power alone is your strength even as you prepare yourself to embrace the barren cross. Next time when I am put into inconvenient situations, or deprived of my due rights and privileges, or even unjustly accused or punished, teach me not to run to the influences to save my skin, but prepare myself to keep my mouth sealed to show to the world the power of being powerless like you, my Master and Lord!

Seeds of Sanctity (SS)

Every human person has the potentiality to become a saint, the men and women whom we consider as worthy of special reverence and respect, who have contributed to the wellbeing of the world and of the universe through their sanctity. But all too often we think it is only the religious men and women who have committed themselves to the Lord through their vows and the clergy who have been sanctified through the sacrament of Ordination are eligible candidates to adorn our Church altars. It does not require me to state that such a notion is quite contrary to the life of sanctity that every person is called to, though the Church as yet, does not require saints from other religious faiths and traditions.

What makes a difference in the life of a saint, and why is it that some are able to achieve greater heights of sanctity, while some others are not? Take the case of some of the modern day saints and the blessed; Blessed Teresa of Kolkata or Saint Alphonsa! I was fortunate to see the last one and a half decades of the life of Blessed Teresa in Kolkata, and yet what a marked difference in the level of sanctity between her and me; true, the comparison does not go well at all. There were so many religious men and women who were contemporaries of Blessed Teresa, and went through similar kind of struggles and difficulties, and yet this saint of the gutters managed to achieve something which others could not.

I understand it is not easy to pinpoint what made saints and Blessed different from their contemporaries! Already at the outset I need to make this point loud and clear: when I say ‘a saint’ or ‘a blessed’ I don’t necessarily imply a person who has received the official approval of the Catholic Church. For I believe the world has so many saints from every nook and cranny of the world that our Church altars cannot contain, and the libraries of Vatican cannot hold! They too are saints, even if the world recognizes them or not, for sanctity is not merely associated with an external approving agency, such as that of the Vatican, but is associated with what one is called to!

As I stand at the threshold of yet another season of Lent this year, I would like to look back at the “way of the Cross”, our traditional piety and a moving means of coming closer to the Crucified Lord, to recognize seeds of sanctity which the Lord had pointed to us, even as he walked that one long journey to Calvary. The seeds are there, sometimes half hidden, sometimes covered by the blood of the Savior, some other times shrouded by the wickedness of humanity. I am here to seek these seeds and make a sincere effort to plant these seeds into the core of my being, so that I may one day walk the same path of Calvary, if not in concrete, but at least in spirit.

What I propose therefore is this : I shall take each station of the Cross, and seek a seed of sanctity hidden in the mystery of the suffering of the Master; these are not time for scriptural study of some key texts, nor time for serious exegesis, but time for a soul-searching seeking together with the countless men and women who had walked the same path of Calvary and found the seeds, and planted them in their souls and one day experienced the honor of being sharers in the life of their Lord. Therefore these are meditations, exercises of seeking and pondering over the life of the Lord vis-à-vis my life here and now! Who knows, at the end of my journey, I may have a seed or two, which may find fertile soil in my heart, and bear fruits which the Lord will be happy with!

In order to provide enough pointers for my body and mind to seek the seeds of sanctity in the midst of my life here and now, I shall spend a few more minutes. Therefore instead of the customary five paragraphs, I shall go up to seven paragraphs, and the last paragraphs will be a prayer of either supplication or surrender to the Lord. Each of the numbers in parenthesis after the title of the Blog will correspond to the traditional Stations of the Cross, and those who may afford can make use of the meditations for the Stations of the Cross too.

Reaping Lenten Fruits

There is something beautiful about lent, and there is something bad too in equal measure. The annual period of penance and repentance, lasting for 40 days, is observed so religiously by most of the traditional Catholics that they all might seem to be closer to the heaven than the others. The austerity with which they do fast and engage in spiritual activities, such as pilgrimages, extra time spent on every Friday for the Stations of the Cross, there are all signs that this season is truly a season of grace for all of them. But that much is the beautiful side of the lent.

There is also an ugly side to the season of “grace”. I could speak for my family; my parents fast for all the 40 days of lent, and skip one meal every day religiously; even if they fall sick, and require strength to carry on, they would not have food to sustain their body and mind. The rigor with which they do this ritual is sometimes frightening. Instead of this piety becoming a means to a greater union with the suffering Lord, and the less fortunate brothers and sisters of the society, the means often take the sway, and the end is often lost. My mother would go all the way to stick to the special pieties during the lent, while her quarrels with my father would go on unceasingly.

Let me add another dimension to the innumerable shades of meanings and significance that the season reminds us of. I would like to break the four letters of the world LENT, to imply LISTEN with EMPATHY to your NEIGHBORS TODAY. This is one thing that takes so much of strength and courage for us to do; we hear the cry of the people around us, but most often we are not touched; their cry stop with our ear drums, they do not enter into our hearts; sometimes the cries that come from all quarters are capable of transforming us, but only when we allow these cries to enter into us. Lent is a season to keep our ears and hearts open!

Every member of Israel is said to have carved the holy words of ‘Shema Israel’ (listen o Israel), and they were expected to inscribe these words, put them in an amulet and tie it on their foreheads, their wrists, in order to remind themselves that they are to listen to their God. LISTEN! The world around is fast forgetting the art of listening to oneself, neighbor, nature, and to God. Naturally when we fail to listen to the inner murmurings of our heart, we cannot listen to our neighbors, and when we cannot listen to ourselves and our neighbors, the cry of nature is addressed to barren grounds, and God would then remain just an unreachable destination.

In the next four reflections, we shall take a closer look at the four key words we have proposed for lent, listening, empathy, neighbor and today, and all of them have something to remind us about our own spiritual journey. Lent alone cannot make our entire spiritual journey; this is one of the key phases of our journey, but then there are other phases, and it is only when we make a smooth transition from one phase to another, from Christmas joy to the sorrow of lent and then proceed to experience the peace of the Risen Lord during the ordinary season of the liturgical calendar. Lent is an invitation to go deeper into our selves, for that is where we may encounter the Lord of our hearts.